How to deal with frustration and becoming over competitive?

[GameBird]

So, I guess this is kind of a weird question, and maybe not even in the right forum...

Sometimes when I play against friends/people better than me, especially locally but sometimes online in FG mode, I can get really angry, frustrated and competitive. I feel like my heart is going a hundred miles an hour and my hands even get all shaky and I tense up in my arms, getting extremely hot in the face. It really depends on who I play too... Sometimes when I play against someone on my skill level and we have even matches, I'm fine and I have a good time. Sometimes I can play against a smash bros master, and they even offer advice on improving, and I'm fine. But some people I play with choose the characters I hate fighting the most, use frustrating tactics, and I frequently lose to them and it fills me with frustration and anger. Again, playing for fun with items and such is no problem at all, but once it's a "serious" match with no items, I can sometimes get extremely agitated and frustrated playing against certain people. Even my voice will start to shake. I even swore off of smash bros all together for like half a year because I hated playing in my friend group and with my (at the time) girlfriend, because they would all do that (play only as Ike, chain grab as dedede, etc) and losses would start to add up and eat at me more and more until I felt like snapping the controller.

Basically, it was a bad time. I was just wondering if anyone had any advice on how to deal with this stuff and not let it bother you, or if it does, how you get rid of those feelings. I don't get that way with other games... Mario Kart and Mario Party for instance, I'm totally good and don't get competitive at all. But trying to have a serious match of smash bros against a certain type of person, and I just seethe and feel like exploding with every consecutive loss. To make matters worse I had been practicing and even joined a local smash group, but again I got beat by this one guy I know and I just wanted to punch a wall.

Anyways long enough post... Help?

 

[NotAnAdmin]

Smash Bros gets everyone hotheaded once in a while, it's normal to have those feelings. .
I'd say "use" them. Remember the last time something ticked you off and work your hardest to counter it and learn from your mistakes, keep working at it and don't lose hope.

There will always be those few Smashers that use a tactic you won't like. For instance, Armada hated the Jiggs/Peach match-up in Melee. He took his time and learned a whole new character (Young Link) and strategies to beat HBox in bracket. It's part of the reason to have secondaries, to cover match-ups you know are way too deep in your opponents favor.
Also, try have a couple "casual" matches with items or take a break and play another game or something else to take your mind off of it. I feel everyone should take a break from Smash once in a while.

 

[Doval]

As frustrating as it is at the time, playing these matches gives you incredibly valuable data. You're losing because you're making mistakes. Save the replays of the matches you hate the most and watch them with a critical mind when you've cooled off. What could you have done better? Every time they got a hit or grab in on you, what was the cause? Is there a particular strategy you just don't know how to work around, or are you being too impatient? Take what you've learned to the lab and come back for a rematch.

I don't have anyone above my skill level to play with locally, and that's kind of a bummer. You can only improve so much if you're never challenged.

When you're actually playing, just remember:
1. it's just a game
2. Everyone's here to have fun
3. There's always someone better than you
4. Your self-worth isn't tied to how many people you can beat
5. There's no such thing as a cheap strategy

If you still get riled up, just take a break and tell your opponent you're frustrated with your performance and need to cool off. Owning up to your performance helps avoid awkwardness. It lets them know you're not mad at them, and that you don't want to inadvertently lash out at anyone. It can also open the door for them to help you. They probably know why you're losing but don't want to add insult to injury by pointing it out. I never give pointers to people unless someone explicitly asks for it; it can very easily come off as patronizing, and some people respond to (even constructive) criticism much better than others.

 

[Rover The CHIEF]

Usually whenever I get heated at Smash Bros. I either switch it to a items fun match for a while, or just stop playing altogether. And that's if I'm REALLY heated. I agree with what Doval said, in the end, its just a game were all here to have fun with.

 

[GameBird]

Yeah I have a few characters but either the people I play know how to counter them, or I I'm not too great with (Samus vs Shulk, G&W vs Ike, for instance)

The replay suggestion is a great idea... I will be sure to do that next time. It's funny because when I went to an actual smash meet up (or had a friend from that smash group over) we have a great time and all learn and improve and feel great. It's just when I play against those guys from work who are like "What's your win ratio, brah?" that I get really frustrated losing to.

But yeah it is just a game, I need to accept that more haha.

 

[AlMoStLeGeNdArY]

You're probably not cut out for competitive play. If you can't control your emotions you're easy bait.

 

[Doval]

It's just when I play against those guys from work who are like "What's your win ratio, brah?" that I get really frustrated losing to.

But yeah it is just a game, I need to accept that more haha.

Don't listen to those suckers, win ratio's meaningless. If you do nothing but beat scrubs all day your win ratio's fantastic and you never improve. If you do nothing but play top players all day your win ratio's terrible but you're always getting better. They're just trying to metaphorically compare **** sizes. Don't play their silly game.

You're probably not cut out for competitive play. If you can't control your emotions you're easy bait.

I'd never tell anyone that. For one thing, you can always improve. For another, the pursuit of mastering a game is a worthwhile activity in itself even if you're clear on the fact that winning national tournaments just isn't on the top of your priority list.

 

[Maple42]

Duuuude, I totally get it.
I used to have this mindset when playing against opponents who I deemed "not as good as me" and I'd lose to them - I'd always think to myself, "oh, it was a fluke." That's is a super toxic mindset; like the others said, people lose for a reason. I realized that a bunch of my losses were to zoners, and as such, I learned how to deal with projectiles.

It's super easy to get frustrated at Smash, and that's understandable; fighting game characters are diverse, and there's always gonna be that one archetype that you'll lose more often than you win against. But it's important to understand why you're losing, and don't make excuses like I did; that's what made me the most upset, that I lost to a supposedly poorer player, when in reality, I was missing something.

 

[Sean²]

TAKE BREAKS. Lots of them. Do something else. Go for a walk. Listen to some music that calms you. Watch something that will make you laugh.

Once your nerves are calmed, try again. The worst thing to do is associate Smash with bad feelings, because you'll eventually lose the drive to play at all.

You're probably not cut out for competitive play. If you can't control your emotions you're easy bait.

Maybe give some advice that isn't completely defeatist?

 

[GameBird]

Once your nerves are calmed, try again. The worst thing to do is associate Smash with bad feelings, because you'll eventually lose the drive to play at all.

This is the worst/scariest part to me. Losing against someone who doesn't play competitive (not that I do either at this point, but I want to and have been trying to train and practice) consistently and starting to get discouraged just makes me feel awful and question any ability I thought I had (to make it worse, he starts the night saying "I haven't played much, so you'll probably stomp me" and then I proceed to lose 75% of the matches). Like I mentioned, one particularly rough day with my ex-girlfriend and a couple guy friends (I lost every match, and the one I did win [using G&W at a safe distance to bucket and release] I was chided for "playing cheap" and "not playing fair") was enough to make me quite playing smash bros all together for over half a year. I still get frustrated flashbacks playing Brawl or even hearing some of the music from the game... and sadly I got a few of those negative associations back but now for Sm4sh after playing with that guy the other day :/

Sorry for unloaded my "life story" haha... tl;dr negative reinforcement does not work for me

 

[AlMoStLeGeNdArY]

all im saying is for him to not let his emotions work against him if he wants to be a competive player,

 

[Pyr]

all im saying is for him to not let his emotions work against him if he wants to be a competive player,

Well, that's obvious. What isn't obvious is HOW. It's why he's posting, after all.
Your posts are useless because he already knows this and is looking for a solution. You saw a cheap shot and took it.

 

[Doval]

(I lost every match, and the one I did win [using G&W at a safe distance to bucket and release] I was chided for "playing cheap" and "not playing fair")

Based on this and the previous comment about win ratios it's starting to look like the bigger problem is the people you play with. That's not really easily fixable, but you should at least keep in mind that you're not at fault in that scenario. The people you play with seem to be more interested in establishing superiority than good sportsmanship. Calling an effective tactic cheap is the mark of a scrub; a competitive player plays to win (while staying within the rules, and showing respect to your opponent.)

I'm not going to tell you to stop playing with them, but you should keep in mind that despite how much they like to win, they're not competitive players and they're not good training partners.

 

[AlMoStLeGeNdArY]

Well, that's obvious. What isn't obvious is HOW. It's why he's posting, after all.
Your posts are useless because he already knows this and is looking for a solution. You saw a cheap shot and took it.

Becoming a competitive player is hard. There's plenty of players who attempt to being competitive. if he is unable to control his emotions he should give it up. That's not a cheap shot just sound advice. I could have added more but there's really know need for it. I'm not really sure how old the OP is but he should really learn how to keep his emotions under control, Also looking back on the OP I feel like my advice is actually perfect. If this gets you upset then stop doing it and focus on something else.

 

[Pyr]

Becoming a competitive player is hard. There's plenty of players who attempt to being competitive. if he is unable to control his emotions he should give it up. That's not a cheap shot just sound advice. I could have added more but there's really know need for it. I'm not really sure how old the OP is but he should really learn how to keep his emotions under control, Also looking back on the OP I feel like my advice is actually perfect. If this gets you upset then stop doing it and focus on something else.

That isn't sound advice because he is specifically asking for help and tips. We don't know the context of his life. We just know he wants to improve. That's his desire. And it isn't out of reach, because there are methods that can be used to control emotions, like half the stuff you'd find in a direct anger management class when you get to a control section.

He's coming here specifically to learn to better keep control of his emotions. If you read the OP at all, you'd know that, and you'd know that it only affects Smash. His general control seems to be fine for all but 1 thing. Far from a lack of control. He is also 24 as per his profile page.

Why post such non-constructive content when the point of the OP is self-improvement? "Give up" is definitely not what the OP wants, and your basis for telling him to do so is unfounded and shows a glaring lack of understanding of the OP, or a failure in reading comprehension, or both.

I can really understand if you are callous enough to not have a real answer given the OP's desire. If that's the case, don't post and attempt to harm the efforts of others in this thread, and the efforts OP is taking. Your posts don't operate in a logical, emotional, or realistic sense.

 

[GameBird]

Based on this and the previous comment about win ratios it's starting to look like the bigger problem is the people you play with. That's not really easily fixable, but you should at least keep in mind that you're not at fault in that scenario. The people you play with seem to be more interested in establishing superiority than good sportsmanship. Calling an effective tactic cheap is the mark of a scrub; a competitive player plays to win (while staying within the rules, and showing respect to your opponent.)

I'm not going to tell you to stop playing with them, but you should keep in mind that despite how much they like to win, they're not competitive players and they're not good training partners.

This is pretty encouraging to hear. I have found that when playing with actual local competitive people (or at least people interested in getting into the tournament scene) I don't get hot and bothered. Instead, we congratulated each other on good shots and offered tips and strategies back and forth (and had a couple for fun, non serious matches too). Sadly I don't get to play with that group very often due to work, but I hope to get back to them soon.

I feel like I may just try to either stop playing with the people that frustrate me, or start recording replays to try and see what I do wrong. There are a couple times when playing for glory mode that I want to throw the controller after losing. I guess (especially when going against someone I know) I feel I need to show that I am good at the game (especially when people who know me and my love for Nintendo assume that I'm awesome at games and say as much to others) and when I lose I get extremely embarrassed and frustrated.

I appreciate the help guys, the advice has been helpful so far. I would love to attend a tournament and get deeper into the smash community, but then events like this happen that make me feel like hot garbage at the game and tempted to give up again. And start associating Smash Bros with bad times :/

edit: to clarify, I tend to bottle up my frustration and just get really quiet or start muttering angrily and play more aggressively and carelessly. Tempted as I may be, I'd never throw a controller or shout. Getting frustrated at competitive games really only comes up when playing smash against a certain type of person.

 

[AlMoStLeGeNdArY]

That isn't sound advice because he is specifically asking for help and tips. We don't know the context of his life. We just know he wants to improve. That's his desire. And it isn't out of reach, because there are methods that can be used to control emotions, like half the stuff you'd find in a direct anger management class when you get to a control section.

He's coming here specifically to learn to better keep control of his emotions. If you read the OP at all, you'd know that, and you'd know that it only affects Smash. His general control seems to be fine for all but 1 thing. Far from a lack of control. He is also 24 as per his profile page.

Why post such non-constructive content when the point of the OP is self-improvement? "Give up" is definitely not what the OP wants, and your basis for telling him to do so is unfounded and shows a glaring lack of understanding of the OP, or a failure in reading comprehension, or both.

I can really understand if you are callous enough to not have a real answer given the OP's desire. If that's the case, don't post and attempt to harm the efforts of others in this thread, and the efforts OP is taking. Your posts don't operate in a logical, emotional, or realistic sense.

There's no way I can give him advice that will help him not get upset. It's perfectly logical for him to go a different route. There's really no way for anyone to teach someone how to control their emotions. What works for you probably won't work for him. Because people are different. Why would anyone do something that is causing them mental anguish? I'm not attempting to harm anything or anyones opinion.

However, the OP must understand this simple fact if he wants to be competitive. if he shows his emotions people will take advantage of that.

 

[Pyr]

There's no way I can give him advice that will help him not get upset. It's perfectly logical for him to go a different route. There's really no way for anyone to teach someone how to control their emotions. What works for you probably won't work for him. Because people are different. Why would anyone do something that is causing them mental anguish? I'm not attempting to harm anything or anyones opinion.

However, the OP must understand this simple fact if he wants to be competitive. if he shows his emotions people will take advantage of that.

There are several ways to teach someone how to control their emotions. Using past experiences with different mediums. Using present experience and diversion. There and a multitude of ways and you can never know what will work for yourself unless you try, which is exactly what OP is doing.

But you're right. We shouldn't do things that cause ourselves mental anguish. That said, if we can adapt and make it so that that thing no longer does so (like the OP is attempting to do), then that route should always be taken first, or attempted. Leaving a negative like that in one's life is pointless, and not attempting to deal with it is irresponsible because it's a sign that there might be deeper issues that can cause further issues.

 

[NotAnAdmin]

Still though, just telling him to give up was a bit harsh. You could at least try to sound like you don't want to see someone's passion for the game die.
I understand that you are trying to be realistic, but at least think about how you were starting out and something pushed you a little too far. Everyone has their own roadblocks when it comes to getting better at the game. This is his roadblock.

 

[AlMoStLeGeNdArY]

There are several ways to teach someone how to control their emotions. Using past experiences with different mediums. Using present experience and diversion. There and a multitude of ways and you can never know what will work for yourself unless you try, which is exactly what OP is doing.

But you're right. We shouldn't do things that cause ourselves mental anguish. That said, if we can adapt and make it so that that thing no longer does so (like the OP is attempting to do), then that route should always be taken first, or attempted. Leaving a negative like that in one's life is pointless, and not attempting to deal with it is irresponsible because it's a sign that there might be deeper issues that can cause further issues.

Life is hard man we can do one of two things. Chase after the things we want or realize the things we cannot accomplish. Before we veer too far off the subject the OP wants to get into the competitive scene. How long has he even been playing for?

With everything I do I try to become the best at what I'm doing. But I also understand the hard work and effort involved. Has the OP given it his all? There's more questions I could ask I'll put that aside. However, if he hasnot been playing for long or putting the work in. And he still gets upset about his loses. There's no helping him. If he has put in the work and does the things he can then he just needs a change in attitude. Which is something he most discover for himself.

I'll leave it at this though. There's no simple or easy solution and you must work through your problems on your own. It's not hard to go to a tournament they take anyone but if you want to improve if you don't have the mindset you never will. I spoke about this more than I wanted too.

 

[Pyr]

Life is hard man we can do one of two things. Chase after the things we want or realize the things we cannot accomplish. Before we veer too far off the subject the OP wants to get into the competitive scene. How long has he even been playing for?

With everything I do I try to become the best at what I'm doing. But I also understand the hard work and effort involved. Has the OP given it his all? There's more questions I could ask I'll put that aside. However, if he hasnot been playing for long or putting the work in. And he still gets upset about his loses. There's no helping him. If he has put in the work and does the things he can then he just needs a change in attitude. Which is something he most discover for himself.

I'll leave it at this though. There's no simple or easy solution and you must work through your problems on your own. It's not hard to go to a tournament they take anyone but if you want to improve if you don't have the mindset you never will. I spoke about this more than I wanted too.

See this one sentence that can sum up OP's intentions:

I was just wondering if anyone had any advice on how to deal with this stuff and not let it bother you, or if it does, how you get rid of those feelings.

Bro, OP didn't make this post because he wants to get into the competitive scene. He's already here and trying. He made this post seeking advice and help for dealing with emotions caused when he plays this game at times. It's clear in the original post. We can't veer off of subject because, apparently, you weren't even on it in the first place.

Try reading the posts you respond to for a change. Or do I have to mention Diddy to get you to read anything? Hell. You don't even fully read those posts, either.



Now, for something that directly helps OP:

Smash was never the thing that caused me issues. That was League. In order to solve this issue, you're going to need to be kind of introspective. I was constantly around negativity in League because I posted to their original General forums a lot. It was very, very bad, and it rubbed off. I cut myself away from that and began focusing on the positives of my play in game more then anything else. I started to specifically aim for flashy plays and anything like that. Anything to make me smile mid-game. I let go quickly because of that. If the style points didn't come when I did something, I instantly started to look for the next opportunity and didn't give time for negativity.

In the few instances of Smash where I do become frustrated to the point of extreme emotion, I took a small break to re-gather myself, form a game plan for the next game, and relax. If you look at player cams sometimes, you can see the pros bow their head and just take a moment. That's what they are doing.

Mid game, styling helps as well for me. Actively attempting to do something to make me smile. The most simple thing I do is make my character spin around. Input is just enough to get them to change direction, but not actually move. I do that for a few seconds when I'm safe and I'm ready to go, cause it makes me happy.

What you should focus on is finding that little thing that makes you happy mid match that you can do at any time. Going under the stage and to the other side? Risky, but do it. If I had to make something in the form of a visual representation, think of anything that makes you smile, like a kitten. Find an in-game thing that makes you feel that way. Something that makes happiness just radiate through you for no reason then you like it. Find that, do it sometimes, regain your mindset, and you're golden. I mean, look at M2K when he uses Sheik's chain in Melee. That is a happy man. Doesn't matter what else happens in the match. He's enjoying it and will enjoy the rest of the match after it. Granted it usually ends kinda soon after, but it's the concept.

It will take some time and self-discovery, but you'll get there. If you can deal with Mario Kart's jank and frustration, you can deal with anything that Smash throws at you.

 

[GameBird]

Smash was never the thing that caused me issues. That was League. In order to solve this issue, you're going to need to be kind of introspective. I was constantly around negativity in League because I posted to their original General forums a lot. It was very, very bad, and it rubbed off. I cut myself away from that and began focusing on the positives of my play in game more then anything else. I started to specifically aim for flashy plays and anything like that. Anything to make me smile mid-game. I let go quickly because of that. If the style points didn't come when I did something, I instantly started to look for the next opportunity and didn't give time for negativity.

In the few instances of Smash where I do become frustrated to the point of extreme emotion, I took a small break to re-gather myself, form a game plan for the next game, and relax. If you look at player cams sometimes, you can see the pros bow their head and just take a moment. That's what they are doing.

Mid game, styling helps as well for me. Actively attempting to do something to make me smile. The most simple thing I do is make my character spin around. Input is just enough to get them to change direction, but not actually move. I do that for a few seconds when I'm safe and I'm ready to go, cause it makes me happy.

What you should focus on is finding that little thing that makes you happy mid match that you can do at any time. Going under the stage and to the other side? Risky, but do it. If I had to make something in the form of a visual representation, think of anything that makes you smile, like a kitten. Find an in-game thing that makes you feel that way. Something that makes happiness just radiate through you for no reason then you like it. Find that, do it sometimes, regain your mindset, and you're golden. I mean, look at M2K when he uses Sheik's chain in Melee. That is a happy man. Doesn't matter what else happens in the match. He's enjoying it and will enjoy the rest of the match after it. Granted it usually ends kinda soon after, but it's the concept.

It will take some time and self-discovery, but you'll get there. If you can deal with Mario Kart's jank and frustration, you can deal with anything that Smash throws at you.

Thanks man, that is cool to hear. I have found one small thing that makes me smile in smash is repeatedly ducking as G&W or Samus. For some reason the bleeps and seeing him flatten, or the heavy ka-lunk Samus makes makes me smile. It's tough to find those moments when in a heated match, especially since when I die I just want to get right back in but yeah I'll for sure try taking those breathers and thinking about something positive. It's tough when negative memories of brawl start coming back but I'll do my best.

Yeah for some reason Mario Kart never gets to me. The only time it might make me rage a little is when going for 3 stars on 150 in Grand Prix and the cpu's won't let up haha.

 

[Duck SMASH!]

Ask yourself whether your goal is to win, or if it is to improve as a player.
If your goal is to win, you will tie your skill to how often you win, and how easily you can beat opponents around your level.
Losing, especially to these people who you deem as lesser than or equal to you, will definitely generate a ton of salt, and you will not improve as a player. How do I know? I did this a LOT when I started. Hell, I still get frustrated at projectile spam every now and then when my opponent ONLY camps and runs away at every given opportunity (still legitimate, but completely unfun regardless).

ANYWAYS, if your goal is to improve, then you will have to search for a lesson in each loss. Because, as others have said, losses happen because you make mistakes. Whether you do not know a matchup very well, or you don't have good spacing or timing, or other issues with fundamentals, or whether you're not adapting to the same repetitive and frustrating strategy an opponent is using (like I didn't), there will always be something for you to pick up on. Saving replays, again, is a great way to notice what you're doing wrong, and if you can find high level players facing each other in the same situation, you may find new options that you can incorporate into your game to improve your play.
But most of all, don't judge whether you are a good player based on whether you win or lose. Focus on how you play the game, and how well you perform. If your play is strong enough, you will steadily improve and see better results along the way.

 

[cardboardowl]

It sounds like you play with *****

Also I promise I'm not being condescending but if you are young (like 19-20) It's kind of something you grow out of in a few years it sounds like you are, but if you are older, oof.

Typically anger comes from frustrations with the self, not others, even if you don't recognize obviously. You think you are frustrated with your opponents and their strategies, and character choices, but you are really frustrated with your inability to cope.

Here is what you do, work from the ground up. Pay attention to what lands the killing blow on you. You will probably find it with only a few move. So then watch out for that specific thing. Then watch how they try to set up that attack.

Once you've done that, pay attention to the move that hits you the most, or builds the most damage, and figure out how to deal with that.


A common pitfall is new players try to do too much to counter a whole character at once. Take it one step at a time. Can't touch someones wario? Don't worry about wario as a character for a while, worry about dealing with the bike. Once you've got that, deal with the chomp, etc etc. Slowly build up your tech one step at a time.

 

[GameBird]

It sounds like you play with ****s

Also I promise I'm not being condescending but if you are young (like 19-20) It's kind of something you grow out of in a few years it sounds like you are, but if you are older, oof.

Typically anger comes from frustrations with the self, not others, even if you don't recognize obviously. You think you are frustrated with your opponents and their strategies, and character choices, but you are really frustrated with your inability to cope.

Here is what you do, work from the ground up. Pay attention to what lands the killing blow on you. You will probably find it with only a few move. So then watch out for that specific thing. Then watch how they try to set up that attack.

Once you've done that, pay attention to the move that hits you the most, or builds the most damage, and figure out how to deal with that.


A common pitfall is new players try to do too much to counter a whole character at once. Take it one step at a time. Can't touch someones wario? Don't worry about wario as a character for a while, worry about dealing with the bike. Once you've got that, deal with the chomp, etc etc. Slowly build up your tech one step at a time.

I guess I just get really invested in Smash and want to prove myself and sometimes that desire overtakes reasoning and I start playing poorly and aggressively. I certainly would say I get mostly upset at myself for not being as good as I thought I was, and embarrassed at playing so poorly against someone I really wanted to prove myself too. Kind of a vicious cycle of frustration.

Would you say there's a good way to train solo against certain tactics? Or would it just be best to find a "sparring partner" who can make use of tactics I struggle against? I guess there's no real way to program a CPU to consistently pull out Wario's bike, for instance. That would be a nice function in the training mode though, if you could set the cpu to only use certain moves.

 

[LightLV]

I guess I just get really invested in Smash and want to prove myself and sometimes that desire overtakes reasoning and I start playing poorly and aggressively. I certainly would say I get mostly upset at myself for not being as good as I thought I was, and embarrassed at playing so poorly against someone I really wanted to prove myself too. Kind of a vicious cycle of frustration.

Admit to yourself that you're losing because the person you're fighting, in some way, somehow, has got the edge on you. Then spend the rest of your time finding out why. If it's your playstyle, change up what you're doing. If it's the matchup, consider learning a new character, or playing around the weakness. If it's lag, stop playing online. If you're playing a long set of matches with a person, and they get to the point where they keep beating you, it's because they've figured you out, and you've likely both lapsed into patterns.

Humans can only really focus well on a task for so long while thinking about it -- after that, you just start to go into patterns. An important fact about the brain to know is, most of the real learning and muscle memory comes during sleep. If you realize you're consistently losing, accept the situation and just spend the rest of the time finding out why, and sleep on it. You'd be surprised how much better you are at something after taking a long break.

Do not blame the game or the player's tactics. Even if the mechanics of the game itself ARE stupid and working to his advantage (smash 4 is a silly game), if you want to win, making it an excuse is irrelevant. You need to find a way around it.

 

[Problem2]

Every time you feel yourself getting upset while you play, whether it be because your opponent's play style is lame, or their character is unfair, or whatever the cause, compliment your opponent's play. Don't use this as a cheap shot to be passive aggressive ("wow, you're soooo good at mashing the c-stick!~"), but give a genuine compliment ("you're really good at spacing you're d-smash. I keep falling for it.").

This will keep the tension between you and you're opponent down and lighten the mood. Not only that, it'll force you to pay attention to your opponent's habits, even when you really don't want to.

Be like your own mom at a grocery store. For me, it's like how when you put your candy bar up on the scanner and the cashier gives it back and your mom is like "What do you say?" and you have to say thank you. Do that with complimenting your opponent's play, and before you know it, it will become a habit and you will get to the point where you enjoy giving compliments instead of doing it because you have to.

 

[cardboardowl]

I guess I just get really invested in Smash and want to prove myself and sometimes that desire overtakes reasoning and I start playing poorly and aggressively. I certainly would say I get mostly upset at myself for not being as good as I thought I was, and embarrassed at playing so poorly against someone I really wanted to prove myself too. Kind of a vicious cycle of frustration.

Would you say there's a good way to train solo against certain tactics? Or would it just be best to find a "sparring partner" who can make use of tactics I struggle against? I guess there's no real way to program a CPU to consistently pull out Wario's bike, for instance. That would be a nice function in the training mode though, if you could set the cpu to only use certain moves.

Sparring partners are always better. If they are good you will both develop on your own. If he abuses a specific move, and wins, then you figure it out and he has to be more careful, you are both just playing better. The constant adaption is what you need and something computers dont do

 

[deepseadiva]

Don't be entitled to winning.

 

[Shadowfury333]

ANYWAYS, if your goal is to improve, then you will have to search for a lesson in each loss.

I received similar advice for Skullgirls, and it's really good to consider. My advice was more "don't try to win, rather try to find something you notice your opponent doing and learn how to counter that." Alternatively, find something you aren't able to do properly or consistently and focus on that.

That helps for feeling small victories and a sense of progress even if you lose the match. Winning requires a huge combination of factors working out better for you than your opponent, but focusing on each of those factors in turn is far easier to think about, easier to notice improvements in, and eventually leads to wins.

On the other hand, I feel the same way most of the time, and I don't feel anywhere near as frustrated in Skullgirls, Melty Blood, Guilty Gear, or any other fighting game I play. Smash Bros tends to frustrate me more because I never quite feel like I'm in control predictably, but that's just me.

 

[smileMasky]

I for one have the same issue I tend now a days avoid FG because I make my self feel burned every time I face people of greater talent or people who are just plain smug. I keep telling my self it's just a game but still there is a part of me that just gets so heated. Hell I don't care sometimes if i win or lose I always feel burned.

 

[Purin a.k.a. José]

About being over competitive, just try to focus without a too forced focusing... Try to play and do your best, use your skill to win, but never let the money reward go over your head. When we just play to win, we may get too nervous... and do worse than we anticipated. Play to win, dedicate yourself, but also play to have fun! I hope it helps you.

 

[Roukiske]

Don't be entitled to winning.

I have to say, that hits the nail on the head.

Many people get angry because they think they should have won. If you lost, mistakes have been made. Are you better than this person? You might be, but if you messed up you messed up. We're only human after all, can't always play perfect. I'll get my shield broken by a Ganon up-tilt every now and then. I laugh it off (and hope they aren't recording).

To the OP, it seems you get like this when you are in your "serious" mode. Sounds like you are intent on winning when you are in that mode. If anything, try to mix your for fun attitude with your serious mode attitude, you may have more fun that way too. It's also possible that your serious mode changes the way you play in a bad way, in which you may become overly predictable.

 

[JayWon]

Coming from Starcraft II, the salt here in Smash tastes like honey. Salt in Starcraft after losing a 30 minute game tastes like rotten blood of your grandfather.

I agree with:

Don't be entitled to winning.

If your conscious is not dominantly controlled by ego, then losing shouldn't be a surprise hence it shouldn't shake you up so much.


It's quite an obvious statement but life is much easier if you already accept there are going to be times when you win and times when you lose. It's that simple

 

[David Galanos]

Don't play for glory. They are the people who use annoying tactics that can anger you. In general you need to calm yourself down,take a deep breath, and see what you can do to turn the match around and adapt

 

[GameBird]

Thanks guys, this is all really helpful advice and I'm taking it all to heart. Not being entitled to winning is a good point and one I will try to make a conscious effort to remember. I'll also try to do more of what Problem2 suggested in complimenting my opponent. Sometimes... that can be really really hard to want to do haha. But this is all great advice and has helped me gain a different outlook on my play styles.

I guess the biggest hurdle for me right now is finding people to train with. I work so much that I hardly have any time to play, and when I do I usually just play against high level CPUs, which is also bad because I can get over confident from defeating them. I have a smash friend hopefully coming over to play on monday though, but again it will only be for a few hours... I want to go to the local smash group here in town but again I hardly have any free time (I haven't been able to go grocery shopping or even do my laundry in nearly a month) which makes smashing difficult.

 

[David Galanos]

Thanks guys, this is all really helpful advice and I'm taking it all to heart. Not being entitled to winning is a good point and one I will try to make a conscious effort to remember. I'll also try to do more of what Problem2 suggested in complimenting my opponent. Sometimes... that can be really really hard to want to do haha. But this is all great advice and has helped me gain a different outlook on my play styles.

I guess the biggest hurdle for me right now is finding people to train with. I work so much that I hardly have any time to play, and when I do I usually just play against high level CPUs, which is also bad because I can get over confident from defeating them. I have a smash friend hopefully coming over to play on monday though, but again it will only be for a few hours... I want to go to the local smash group here in town but again I hardly have any free time (I haven't been able to go grocery shopping or even do my laundry in nearly a month) which makes smashing difficult.

Go on smash ladder. That is the best way to get practice and experience ONLINE. There are many great players. Don't resort to CPUs or for glory, play people better than you or good players.

 

[Problem2]

Yeah, the compliment thing IS really hard. I'm honestly a bad complainer myself, but when I started doing this, I noticed a drastic improvement in my play and in my mindset. Best of luck to you!

 

[Sleek Media]

Play with items, FFA, etc. If you treat Smash as seriously as a job, prepare to enjoy it as much.

 

[Sleeplost]

YOU PICK UP YOUR CONTROLLER, THROW IT ON THE GOD DAMN GROUND, STEP ON IT TILL IT'S BROKE, SCREAM IN YOUR OPPONENT'S FACE, AND PROCEED TO EXCRETE UPON YOURSELF IN A GODLY RAGE.

Stop thinking that you're some sort of fictional hero who will win EVERY MATCH.
The battle against rage weakens when you realize that your plans likely won't come true whether they're plans of winning or losing. Plans or thoughts usually just don't come together and chances are they won't when facing anyone.