How do you cope with the unchangeable?

[Shorts]

Link to original post: [drupal=4600]How do you cope with the unchangeable?[/drupal]



I’ve been a person who has always believed that you can succeed and become something when you put your mind to it and really work for it. A lot of things can fall under the category. However, how do you take in the idea that you can’t change something, no matter how hard you try. My example is vane, but it fits the bill, and is a personal struggle for me.

Soooo, let's be real for a second, most of us here are decent looking. We aren't models, but we definitely aren't eyesores. We're the "in-betweens", and all of us have some flaws that keep us from being drop dead gorgeous.

For me, I’m pretty confident in how I look, I mean I actually use a picture of me as my profile picture and all. I have one major flaw however. I have hereditary dark circles under my eyes, and I really, really can’t change it whatsoever. I can slightly diminish them, but they will never be gone forever. I find it hard to look past my dark, disgusting eyes and look at the rest of myself, which isn’t that bad at all.

How do we tackle something that we see every day, and cannot change whatsoever? Being a man who’s a go getter and someone who fully believes in hard work, I find it a jagged little pill to swallow. This isn’t just about vanity either, but it’s an example that came up five minutes ago when I looked in the mirror, pulled at my eyes for half a minute, and just said “Aww ****”.

How do you cope with similar unchangable situations?

 

[Teran]

I generally deal with it using my ability not to care. I used to care a lot about many things, but certain things happened and I decided it was best to lay those sentiments to rest. It makes a lot of things easier to deal with.

Also you can deal with dark circles! I have them too, you can use these rollers that get rid of them, or you could just use full on concealer. If someone tells you it's gay then whatever lol, if you don't want your dark circles, use concealer or something similar it really is that simple.

But yeah I had a certain thing about me that I hated (and still sort of resent), then I look at it and realise I've got so much else going for me that it'd be kinda hopeful to think I could have this extra thing too. I dunno, I'm just personally not that bothered by things so,,,

 

[Falconv1.0]

Kill yourself.

But uh, seriously, to answer the question the title poses cuz I refuse to read the op, realize there's more time to enjoy life and experience something new and awesome, unless you're really old or terminally ill, then uh, have fun dying brooooooooooo.

 

[Browny]

How do you cope with similar unchangable situations?

Honestly when we are dealing with limitations of the human body... I remind myself of how lucky I am.

I have countless physical problems with my body,almost every limb/organ/body function doesnt work/look 100% right. Every time I think to myself 'I hate it that I get chronic hayfever' or something similar, I remember how lucky I am that I dont have a chronic peanut allergy or another very serious allery. If all aspects of my body are say, 90-99% in normal working order, I remind myself to forever be grateful that by pure random chance, I dont have like a 50% deficiency in 1 aspect which would ACTUALLY make an impact on my life (like needing a hearing aid) and then I might legitimately have reason to ever complain about something, anything else is a pure insult to those who really have problems.

There are so many people in the world who through absolutely no fault of their own, are forced into a situation in life where they would gladly take all of my 'unchangeable situations' in a heartbeat. Knowing that my rather imperfect body could and most definitely would be worthy of envy among those less fortunate than me quickly reminds you to count your blessings and that vanity is a curse

So when I look into a mirror and see all the imperfections in my body, I get off that train of thought straight away. Sure there are times when its not that easy to do so and I get really mad about it but it never lasts long, if I ever complain about these things to the point where I call it unfair etc to anyone while not knowing if they secretly have WORSE problems than me, I will become all that I hate. Just gotta remind yourself that you should be perfectly happy with how you are, anything else is a poisoning of the mind. Unless of course you are in such a position where complaining is justified, but those are few and far between.

 

[mountain_tiger]

Unless it's something that can potentially have very severe consequences (dark circles under the eyes obviously wouldn't count), pretending it doesn't exist works well enough.

 

[-Jumpman-]

I generally deal with it using my ability not to care. I used to care a lot about many things, but certain things happened and I decided it was best to lay those sentiments to rest. It makes a lot of things easier to deal with.

Also you can deal with dark circles! I have them too, you can use these rollers that get rid of them, or you could just use full on concealer. If someone tells you it's gay then whatever lol, if you don't want your dark circles, use concealer or something similar it really is that simple.

But yeah I had a certain thing about me that I hated (and still sort of resent), then I look at it and realise I've got so much else going for me that it'd be kinda hopeful to think I could have this extra thing too. I dunno, I'm just personally not that bothered by things so,,,

But you ARE gay.

 

[frotaz37]

I'm pretty much drop dead gorgeous and I can assure you it's no walk in the park.

Ok I'm lying, it actually does make life way easier.

But hey most people I've met from smashboards are well below decent looking so you can't be doing THAT bad... and if you really want to solve your problem, why don't you just get rid of your mirror?

 

[Shorts]

I generally deal with it using my ability not to care. I used to care a lot about many things, but certain things happened and I decided it was best to lay those sentiments to rest. It makes a lot of things easier to deal with.

This is how I am about a lot of things, but I find it difficult to "not care" about everything unchangeable. I suppose ignoring it, or excepting it as a harsh reality of life couldn't hurt. Things of a violent nature are bound to forever occur, everywhere in the world, so I guess the best we can do is come to terms with that.

Also you can deal with dark circles! I have them too, you can use these rollers that get rid of them, or you could just use full on concealer. If someone tells you it's gay then whatever lol, if you don't want your dark circles, use concealer or something similar it really is that simple.

Yeah, I dunno. I've thought about it,

Spoiler

and tried it once or twice,

but I don't think I'm the make-up kind of guy. Fixing my hair's disgusting waves and subduing my cowlick each morning is work enough.

But hey most people I've met from smashboards are well below decent looking so you can't be doing THAT bad... and if you really want to solve your problem, why don't you just get rid of your mirror?

I care about my appearance to much unfortunately.

But you ARE gay.

Meh. I'm halfway there too.

 

[Rob_Gambino]

Plastic surgery. Draw or bruise everyone else's eyes so they have bigger circles than you do. As a man, possibly look at breast reduction, a haircut, and different types of clothes. You cannot possibly succeed and do what you want in life with those circles under your eyes. You have a lot of hard work to do, go get to it.

 

[Teran]

But you ARE gay.

Not everyone knew in my earlier years. Plus, you'd be surprised how much grief you get even when you do come out because if you don't act gay, people don't expect you to do the more effeminate things.

This is how I am about a lot of things, but I find it difficult to "not care" about everything unchangeable. I suppose ignoring it, or excepting it as a harsh reality of life couldn't hurt. Things of a violent nature are bound to forever occur, everywhere in the world, so I guess the best we can do is come to terms with that.

Well, think of it this way. You can get someone easily enough right? If not then maybe you're projecting the blame on dark circles, but I dunno I'm getting ahead of myself it probably really isn't complicated at all.

Yeah, I dunno. I've thought about it,

Spoiler

and tried it once or twice,

but I don't think I'm the make-up kind of guy. Fixing my hair's disgusting waves and subduing my cowlick each morning is work enough.

Well it takes me 2 minutes max so...

I care about my appearance to much unfortunately.

Your looks are only around when you're young. ;D

Meh. I'm halfway there too.

On Smashboards that makes you one of the straighter folk. Lol

 

[§witch]

I generally deal with it using my ability not to care. I used to care a lot about many things, but certain things happened and I decided it was best to lay those sentiments to rest. It makes a lot of things easier to deal with.

Story of my life right here.

 

[Alien Vision]

I understand that I can't change something.

/Thread

Guys, hiding under ignorance is a very cowardice thing to do.

 

[FoxBlaze71]

I understand that I can't change something.

/Thread

Guys, hiding under ignorance is a very cowardice thing to do.

This, suicide, or a sex change.

 

[frotaz37]

Your looks are only around when you're young. ;D

This couldn't be farther from the truth.
Men who take care of themselves can be rather dashing until like 65+.

 

[§witch]

I understand that I can't change something.

/Thread

Guys, hiding under ignorance is a very cowardice thing to do.

How is that any different from not caring? Proclaiming universal truths is a very ignorance thing to do.

 

[Alien Vision]

The first part of what you've said was the point. Numbing things just so you can handle the burden is ********, and cowardice.

don't like what I say? Tough.

 

[Teran]

This couldn't be farther from the truth.
Men who take care of themselves can be rather dashing until like 65+.

Looooooooooooooooool bull****.

 

[Vinylic.]

Ummmm. Okay, My situation is that people usually ignore me and say "Stop posting" or "stop being dumb" or " I don't always ignore etc, etc."

Those were the quotes saying I posted something wrong.
But if others are just saying that because I'm annoying to them, I wouldn't really care would I?
I'm not posting anything wrong. If theres a problem with the images I'll fix it. If you're kind of bothered I'll stop it.

But if you tell me to stop posting for days or forever, "plbth to you".

They deal with it and ignore me. Just as I deal with it myself for being insulted or something like that...

The thing is... There are alot of options. Some of them are better to help you. I "deal with it". It shouldn't be hard to know what you should do about the situation.



I hope this probably helps...

 

[Alien Vision]

Tokyo, it's not like you you are worse than me in saying ''AWFUL'' things that make you look like a heretic. :3

 

[Vinylic.]

/straked and F8TAL makes me feel like that.
Spelt...... Naw. He doesn't have the same feels like them...
LuigiToilet is close.
Reizilla isn't doing anything related to me at all.
He makes me proud for not saying anything related to what they say.

 

[Alien Vision]

Alot of things would be even more ****ed up today if we didn't have brave people back then to speak their mind regardless of the ''ethics of life''. Lololol.

Tl;dr - SAY WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT. **** THE NAYSAYERS.

 

[Vinylic.]

I still don't know whayt tl;dr means... ._.

 

[Alien Vision]

I don't either

I just use the baby trick. Learn from the ''adults''. Even if it doesn't make any sense to me. XD

 

[frotaz37]

Looooooooooooooooool bull****.

It's really not.
'specially for black folks.

 

[Alien Vision]

Hey Frotaz. How does it feel to be in my boat? People disagreeing with you, and you have no way in proving what you claim. It's a personal opinion that has no phyisical value, because it comes from your mental value.

 

[frotaz37]

I don't care at all.

 

[Alien Vision]

^ That is exactly why I am belligerant.

 

[Teran]

It's really not.
'specially for black folks.

Black people I'll agree, their looks don't degenerate anywhere near as fast.

 

[Spelt]

I've never seen a good looking 65 year old white guy.

 

[Vinylic.]

What the ****.

 

[frotaz37]

yeah sometimes I wonder if genes alone give people the extra 10+ years of youthfulness they seem to have....I guess like to tell myself that it's lifestyle choices. Better motivation that way.

There must be good looking old white guys out there somewhere.

 

[Alien Vision]

Never gave it any thought.. But..

Is it possible that white people for some reason get more stressed than black people?

I mean.. I've seen some very brave and hardworking black people who knew how to burden hardships.

I don't think I've really found any white person who has been able to handle hardships the way they did. They crash, and get owned by their emo status. XD

They always complain when their fan breaks down, or their A/C. They complain about the STUPIDEST things.

While the black people I knew lived in a house with no A/C.

(Which is where I learned how to handle incredible burdens) :3

 

[Spelt]

Black people are generally more easy going and for the moment than white people, but that's just how they are raised.

You may be on to something.
Maybe that's why old japanese people look like raisins.

 

[Vinylic.]

Way to insult japanese culture.

 

[Alien Vision]

Actually. I agree with Spelt. I thought the same thing.

They are always stressed.

It's not like we are targeting their culture. We are targeting the people in the culture.


BIG DIFFERENCE

 

[Vinylic.]

That's life for ya.

 

[Alien Vision]

Nope.


Life is what you make it.

 

[FoxBlaze71]

^ That is exactly why I am belligerant.

Belligerent? LOL maybe this is why frotaz doesn't care.

 

[Alien Vision]

They have bigger terms than I do.

My words are dwarfed by their articulation.

They just hate me because I like to go against the ''norm'' for completely viable reasons that they choose not to see.

 

[FoxBlaze71]

Belligerent isn't an extremely advanced term. It's probably a vocabulary word in 5th grade reading textbooks.