Guus/DerpDaBerp: DerpDaBerp Starts!

[DtJ Glyphmoney]

DO NOT POST IN THIS THREAD UNLESS YOUR NAME IS IN THE TITLE!

Okay! All of these threads have the same OP so don't worry about reading over the other ones. This is a very straightforward concept, you just take turns writing a story. There are a few rules I'd like to set in order to make this as effective as possible.

1. NO OUTSIDE COMMUNICATION. This is a BIG rule. I want to see every little bit of the story's development in this thread. And no, talking about it on AIM and posting a log is not okay.
2. There is no out of context. Everything you put in here becomes part of the story you're telling. That means if you break down and get mad at your partner and cuss him out, one of the two of you will have to find a way to justify that happening.
3. Don't be a ****. Don't go out of your way to ruin other people's stories. In the same fashion, don't be 100% dedicated to only getting what you want done too.
4. Don't write a novel each post. This rule was something I had a hard time with since I am trying to make this as free range as possible. Just don't overwhelm your partner with more story than they can handle is what I'm getting at.

Knowing myself, I've forgotten some rule again. Refrain from posting in this thread until you're planning to start the story.

 

[DerpDaBerp]

The Bizarre Work of Mr. Elwood Crue

...for more to be revealed, but I awoke. Jettisoned from my own dream.
It was an incredibly secure way to transfer information, to be sure. My gripe is that it sort of messes up my equilibrium, or something like that. I'm not able to fall asleep for days even after the job is done.
Time flew by until that evening when I left for the rendezvous downtown, grabbing my coat, which I had only just fleetingly considered as I got into the car, was my favorite one.

As instructed, I stood outside my vehicle facing the abandoned Wolfgang Theater. No one really came around this area anymore. It was a dull, slummy place even when they were in business. In my head I began to play songs to help pass the time.
It was heavily overcast with much wind. There was a pale red vigor descending in the corner of the sky and the last rays of the evening rode the contours of the clouds as they followed their source. I kept staring as the greyness proceeded to overtake them. The closing of an ever reliable sunset is a comfort in my solitude and travel.
To shield my lighter's flame, I bent down and cupped my hand around my cigarette. The little hovel it formed felt like home.

When I came back up, my visitor loomed before me, instant and noiseless.
The figure's face was horribly taut, its angles sharply defined and its nose sharp. There didn't seem to be any eyelids and the orbs within were instead a wooden imitation in one and a telescope objective--which frequently "whirred" its focus as it observed me--in the other. He wore a thin brown suit and bore a bowler hat, with a price tag dangling from its brim, which he lifted shakily from his head in salutation. He leaned forward very close to my face and stretched his mouth in a rectangular smile, exposing intensely white and uniform teeth.
I released a plume of cigarette smoke inadvertently in his face. He heaved it in through his nostrils and whirred a bit more. He exhaled nothing.
"Sorry," I said.
The figure drew back and adjusted its cufflinks. It seemed we could begin.

 

[Jim Morrison]

This would be the third lab this month.

We walked in the opposite direction of the Wolfgang, towards a large, brick apartment complex. All of the question I wanted to ask my new associate were running through my mind, but none came out; I could only imagine he felt the same.
Despite my expierence, every job was still as exciting at the first, never dulling, always adapting. It didn't take long before we were standing in front of the large structure, towering high above us.
"Third floor, number 27b?" I asked, making sure we'd do it right the first time.
'Max', as I dubbed my mysterious partner, looked at me and said nothing. He opened the door and signaled for me to go in first.

The hallway had a distinct smell. This lab would be easy to find, even without an adress. The wall coverings had a strange pattern, crossings of yellow and red and a matching rug. The building had the unmistakable air of exactly what it was: A long abandoned hotel.
Max and I had no time to enjoy the scenery and hurried through the long corridor and approached the elevator, where I stopped. Max, on the other hand kept walking towards the stairs and looked back at me. The mental struggle had already begun. I decided that it wouldn't be worth the effort and followed him up the flight of stairs.

It didn't take long before we arrived at door 27b, a dirty door with an improvised handle. I gave a nod, and opened the door.

 

[DerpDaBerp]

The door, whose hinges squeaked like a bat had been shot, revealed a stark nothing. The darkness that sat in this room felt like more than just an absence of light. It bellowed silently, daring anyone to penetrate.
The smell that had been drifting about the hallway spilled out more greatly. It sort of reminded me of the sickness of a kennel, but compounded with a certain stinging ashen quality that smelled as if some sort of endeavor in the name of science had gone very badly.

I felt around cautiously on the inside for a light switch. There was one, but flipping it proved fruitless. The rather dim light from the hallway didn't help much so I tried to utilize my lighter, but a simple flame didn't serve visually what I would have hoped. I was only given a few metallic, or maybe wet glints from which my little light bounced. Slipping my hands back in my pockets and leaning against the door frame, Max and I looked at each other. I gestured for him to proceed first. He turned his head toward the blackness, looked back at me and gave me that obscene smile again, gesturing back in the same way. Something drove me to not doubt his willingness to play the waiting game.
"Fine." I said submissively.

I stepped in slowly, frustrated that I could not gauge much from the little stimuli I was given. Max's steps followed, mechanically accurate.
"You're kind of loud, you know that?"
He whirred and popped in response.
"Right, well help me find some light, would you?"
A startling white brightness suddenly revealed itself from what appeared to be a bulb protruding from Max's now open cranium. I smiled to myself, amused.

 

[Jim Morrison]

I've seen many labs, but none in such a shape as this one. The walls and floor were covered by garbage bags, torn here and there, reveiling a moldy wall. Despite the nature of the apartment, the owners still seemed to feel the need to make it comfortable, as there was a rather luxorious couch and a holovision deck hanging on the wall.
I saw some red spills on the floor. Sadly, I recognized these instantly and knew that this one would different from all the other labs. This one was determined to make a breakthrough.

We walked towards the only other door inside of the room and halted. Now that Max and I were both silent, I listened at the door and heard the muffled buzzing sound I was expecting. Instantly, I tried to open the door, but to no avail. Locked.
Max pushed me aside, forcefully, and worked some magic no the door. I had no idea what he did, as he was blocking my view, but he somehow managed to open the door.
"Who would have thought you'd be this useful?" I jokingly said to Max. His head turned and looked at me with hollow eyes, light permeating from within them. This time, he did not smile.

For the fourth time this evening I gave in to Max's silent requests and went in first.

 

[DerpDaBerp]

Good God, I thought to myself.
The trash bags and the blood stains were strewn about this room too. There were a few surgical tables that were set up in such a way that it seemed there may have been a struggle of some sort. Upon them were large, unusual utensils, burn marks, what appeared to be chunks of flesh, bone and little metal scraps that looked like someone had broken open a wristwatch. There stood some complex looking towers of lights, switches and dials that I am in no way qualified to give meaning to. I've never been into much electronics.
The buzzing that had become all too clear now was from a mass of flies that obscured the ceiling, some utilizing, as flies do, the no doubt unsanitary remains of whatever had been lain on the tables.
Our man stood at the other end of the room facing away, hunched over with a lab coat that had been just as torn and bloody as the bags upon the walls. The whistling to himself stopped once our entrance, and thus Max's headlight, had illuminated the room. The doctor spun around defensively.

"Hello, Dr. Rosewood." I said.
This may not be my first time meeting the man, but Max stirred a bit as he was not so fortunate as to be familiar with such an image.
Dr. Rosewood's head was not of man. Two enormous red insect eyes protruded from a furry black head. His mandibles came down and held between them a surreal array of... not quite teeth, I'd say... something you wouldn't stick your hand into. From the neck up, Dr. Rosewood resembled distinctly his tinier cousins flying around him. It was quite the alien vision.

Upon recognizing me, the doctor looked around himself and desperately grasped for a contraption on a table beside him. With a particular flip of my wrists, I activated a lovely little apparatus within each of my coat sleeves that slid out two shiny new Derringers that quickly took aim. I loved the sound that made. Sounds like something working as it ought to--a rare and beautiful thing. The doctor stopped his attempt and slowly stepped back in place with hands raised.

"Ok, Doc," I began. "Where is it?"

 

[Jim Morrison]

"Inspector!" Rosewood replied with something I could faintly make out to be a smile. "Long time no see. Would you not introduce me to your friend?"
Aggresively, I took a couple of step towards him, still pointing the two heralds of death at him. "Wrong answer, doc, try again. Where is the subject?" I asked in a hostile fashion.

"Inspector, I have no idea."

"You have one more shot at the million dollar question, doc."

The guns were now less than a foot away from his... head?
The appaling smile once again appeared on Dr. Rosewood's face, this time accompanied by maniacal laughter.
"Inspector, do you not under? I have no idea where the subject is! It worked!" The smile on his face grew even bigger and he was shaking in excitement.
The gravity of the situation had just hit me. Dr. Rosewood had finally grasped the greatest mystery.

"How?" I asked, lowering the gun, almost defeated.

"As you of all people should know," the doctor said excitedly, "this clandestine research has taken a long, long time. We were so close, each time, but now we finally managed to succeed. All it took was the adjustment of the spin of the sub-elementary particles. If we could conjure the loose particles and energize them according to their required energy levels, we could form any atom we desired. Or remove."

"Cut it out with the scientific mumbo jumbo, doc."

If the grin were any larger, his face would have ripped apart: "Plainly said, inspector, we are now the masters of matter."

 

[DerpDaBerp]

"You see, I cannot possibly tell you where my subject is because the abomination no longer exists as it once was!" His raised hands expressed more jubilance than surrender.

"What did you do to them?" I demanded aggressively, the grip on my lowered firearms tightening.

"Bah! What fun can I have with such a dense adversary?" The doctor began. "Do you have any idea how difficult it was to stabilize an organism whose body contains every element known to man? Oh! The pains I endured, Elwood! I've been forcing, drilling this dream of mine into so many undeserving receptacles! Howling. Thrashing, Inspector! But this one! Oh ho ho, she was a strong one."
The morbid glee in his voice jutted out around the buzzing above us--a lapping mania against the feverish drone of the plague of flies that coerced my brain.
"That was the major grind. I needed them alive. I needed them capable of withstanding the amendments I made to their bodies. I needed a heart beating long enough for me to harvest their make up! That creature finally made it all possible!"

My mind flashed images on the surgical tables of the violated corpses of the doctor's failures, each crime against nature a stepping stone to this damnable end.

"So you... 'removed' its... her atoms. All of them."

"The inspector inspects! How adorable! Yes, and now I am in control of my own formless collection of the periodic table!"

"And what about the 'forming' part?" I asked.

His laughing persisted. I brought the pistols back up to his adulterated head.

"I suppose if you must know." He started taking haggard steps toward me, forcing me back, allowing one of the gun barrels to push against the center of his face. "I, Dr. Hadrian Rosewood, am now capable of manipulating the very building blocks of our universe! The Clay of God! In my hands thanks to that woman, and at my command thanks to the unscrupulous aid of science! Not only do I hold the atomic bomb, I am maestro of mustard gas, viceroy of viruses, or considering my genius, I'll probably conceive of something more... grand." He tapered off giggling.

"Not if I swat you right here." I suggested.

Before I could make good on my threat, the swarm at the ceiling began travelling in unison in a giant upside-down maelstrom. The center quickly dipped down and descended upon the doctor like the leg of a tornado, engulfing him and obscuring his image. I began firing rounds but it seemed the filthy swarm was thick and fast enough to negate the rounds. More manipulations of his no doubt. Insect guts flew about and on me, but the doctor was at liberty to return to his table and pick up the contraption he had leapt for before: a small, oddly shaped box that he placed under his coat. The last I could see of the doctor before being entirely engulfed was the image of his sneering maw.
His army of sickness then swept him up and flew toward one of the room's windows, breaking through into the night. The shattering of the glass signaled to the world a new threat. A single chimera of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.

A cool wind entered the vile and unkempt room. The white of the moon's light fought Max's incandescent headlamp. He whirred in a way I would interpret as purturbed.

 

[Jim Morrison]

The following nights were restless. I awaited orders from the headquarters, going to bed with the highest hopes, only to wake up the next morning in the same state of mind I went to bed with.

A week after my report of everything that had happened, the next 'calling' came unto me.

"...alive. Failing is not an option."

This is all I remember hearing in the last encounter, but my orders were very clear. Find Dr. Hadrian Rosewood at all costs.

The expected thrill of a new mission immedeately crept unto me. Thankfully, since Max also witnessed Rosewood's escape, HQ decided to pair us up again. To find the elusive Dr. Rosewood would be all but an easy task... How do you go about finding the master of matter in a vulnerable way?



Adrian Miller was his name. An old man, nearing 70, with a sunken face, perfect teeth, a surprising headful of hair and a whirring eye, just like Max. We decided to meet up in a modern, busy restaurant as to avoid silence. He was wearing a dark suit and decided to comb his hair; obviously he tried to look his best for the encounter. The cane next to his chair gave away his declining fitness.

We first saw him through the window, but he did not see us. Adrian was looking down to a picture in his hands and got out a napkin to dry his eyes. He was always a delicate man and from what I heard, recent events did not make it any easier on him.
Max and I entered the busy restaurant, with me going in first, as we were accustomed to.

"Elwood!" he exclaimed as soon as he were entered his field of view. He put away his napkin and the picture. "And... Wow, Elwood, what an amazing piece of art. Who is this?"

"My partner, Adrian. Good to see you again." Max was visibly... or audibly amused. His eye was whirring wildly and a smile overpowered his face. The three of us went to sit down at a table and Adrian and I placed our orders. A couple of minutes of small talk and no eating on my part went by.

"Adrian, I didn't come here for the food."

 

[DerpDaBerp]

"No, I didn't expect so." His countenance was a troubled, distracted one. I felt guilty intending to request his assistance when he so clearly had other things on his mind.

The man had worked for headquaters for decades. Logging, sorting... memorizing each and every occurence of crime in detail involving the attempted exposure of 'unearthly' phenomena unto the rest of the world, all in the most secure place our mutual employer was aware of: under that mane of his. A bookkeeper of sorts, and a prime source of information for HQ. Or well-trusted friends, as the case may be.

"Before you begin, Elwood, I may not be able to help as much as you're hoping." My sympathetic stare turned a little more stuck now. "I've retired, my boy. I don't work for HQ anymore."

I rubbed my face.

"I know it's unfortunate that you're being told so late," he said, "but you know how the higherups keep everyone on need-to-know."

I snuck my flask out of my coat pocket and took a swig. "It shouldn't matter too much, right?" I began. "We only need to fill you in on some recent events."

Adrian huffed solemnly, deviating from eye contact. "Recent events."

Max and I looked sidelong at each other. Our table sat in silence for a few moments.

"It's not that I've... It's not that I've really retired, you see. I was- ha, it's a little embarassing... I was asked to resign."

Being familiar with Adrian's down-to-earth constitution, such news came just as suspicious as saddening.

"Why in the blazes would they do that?" I asked.

Adrian sighed and removed the picture he had from his pocket and placed it on the table. It held a woman. 30 maybe.

"This is my daughter," he said. "She's been missing. It was actually soon after she was gone that I was asked to send in my resignation. There really is no negotiating with HQ so... I've been unable to exactly track what might have happened to her, since I haven't seen a new case report for weeks. And you know how quickly threats change in our line."

"What di- does she do?"

"Before I lost contact with her, she was apparently assisting a scientist. Brilliant girl. Beautiful too, hmm. She told me she wasn't allowed to talk about it, but through process of elimination I pieced together using old info that she must have been involved in some branch of matter manipulation research."

For a moment my breath was held. Max... remained still as he was.

"But like I said, I was asked to leave, I haven't been able to acquire any new information that could help me narrow my search and I'm a tad... distracted."

My right ear shivered a little as a buzzing rolled by. A fat horse fly began hovering aimlessly around our heads. The second it landed on his napkin, Max, within the confines of our little booth, swung his arm at the elbow (at an angle that looked very uncomfortable) and swatted the little bastard. The smacking of the table and disrupting of the dishes around us drew some righteously peeved glares from random customers.
"Sorry." I announced.

 

[Jim Morrison]

"Adrian... Your daughter... I'm so sorry."

"For what? It's not your fault, Elwood," he said delicately.

"I think I know what happened to your daughter." He raised his head and stared at me with his mouth opened.
"Remember Dr. Rosewood, years ago, the Illicit Manipulations Case? Headquarters assigned me to find him, as he made a breakthrough recently... And I believe his subject this time was your daughter."

As I told him this, I saw his inquiring look slowly turning into a frown. His hands clamped the photograph and started to shake. I was quite amazed that the picture wasn't torn apart.

"Did he say anything?" he asked, trying to mask his rage. "About her?"

I lied and said he didn't. It was silent for what seemed to be a year, apart from Max's whirring noises.
"Adrian, there is nothing we can do for her. We can however make Rosewood pay, but for that, I need your help. New cases may not be available, but I'm sure you can find some older documents about him and, more specifically, his associates. I can't tell you much, but you have to know... It's complicated and finding Rosewood directly is no longer an option."

The tears had reached his chin and dropped down. Every single one that fell on his plate sounded like a dribbling basketball in this silence.
"Meet me here again tomorrow, Elwood. I'll get you everything you need..." he said in a trembling voice.



The next day went by incredibly slowly, constantly looking at my watch to see wether it was 6:30 yet and time to leave.
6:15, someone knocks at my door. As we (or I?) agreed on, Max came to my place first, and we'd then go to meet Adrian in the restaurant.


And there he was again, the old man, this time not looking at a photograph, but in a huge file.

"Hello again, Adrian."

 

[DerpDaBerp]

"That's quite the bunch of papers you have there, Adrian," I said.

I cannot- I cannot quite- I cannot put my finger on it- it.
I know I've seen this man somewhere before. Hrm, no doubt- no doubt.
"O coward conscience, how dost thou afflict me!"
Just look at all his hair! Quite a head- quite a head.
Now, let's have a look, hm?
Such an old man.
Was it perhaps... no, no, haha. No indeed.

"This Dr. Rosewood," Adrian began, "is not the only one to have done research in matter manipulation." He slipped out a photograph of a middle-aged Asian man and placed it before us. "This is Dr. Oda. When such research was beginning, Rosewood and Oda were not just forerunners, but partners. It seems that...

"Such stuff as dreams are made on."
Perhaps from the Mole-people incident- dent- dentures. Hm, yes, definitely not real teeth.
Dr. Oda? More scientists. Yuck, more scientists. Six and twelve, carry the-
Elwood's got guns, I like that.

...Rosewood had revealed some of his cruel intentions regarding the progress he was making and Oda cut him off, thus branching whatever progress had been made since. Rosewood, not being hindered by morality, has used whatever method he can to achieve his aim. While I cannot tell you how far he's made it in his own research, Oda is the man you want to talk to."

"A lead if I've ever seen one. Thank you, Adrian."

"That's not all, I assure you. If we're going to catch this demon, you'll need to become acquainted with everything I have here."

Dear me, that is... yes, quite a lot of paper.
No time- no time.
"Lord, what fools these mortals be."
The fly I swatted. No- no- not a fly at all.
Flies fly, "This thing of darkness," this one spies.

I looked over at Max, his telescope objective of an eye was focusing very intensely on his hand.

No, not quite a fly, but a machine.
"There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio."
This place, hmm, yes this place is dangerous. We must go.
Abscond; flee; scram; withdraw.
"Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps."

 

[Jim Morrison]

Abruptly, Max stood up, nearly flipping over the table. He grabbed my hand and put the fly in it and looked it, with one eye looking at me, the other, the telescope eye, focusing still on the fly. I looked closely at the fly and noticed that this were not the normal intestines of a dead fly.

"Rosewood is keeping an eye on us, we can be sure of that," I said to Adrian and Max, but mostly to myself.

While I was busy investigating the fly, Max had already grabbed my coat and gave me a serious look. I figured we were going, wether the meeting was over or not.

"Thanks again, Adrian."

"Elwood, the files. Don't forget them!" Adrian said, handing me the files

"Right, the files..."

***************​

"Next station: Tonsil Square. This cart's final stop is at: The Alexander."
Mass transit had always been my favourite form of travelling. Whether my job influenced my preferences, I had no idea. It was just such a relaxing form of moving around. It gave me the anonimity I so longed for. To blend in with the crowd, or riding the cart on your own to the station where no one ever goes.

"Next station: Averson Road. This cart's final stop is at: The Alexander."
The subways gave me the much needed time to think. So rarely did I get to think in those days. In the subways, you were no longer accountable, completely in the hands of someone else. I couldn't be the only one who enjoyed that, could I? Max was sitting next to me, looking at the files, but never actually at the contents. Apart from us, the cart was abandoned.

"Next station: The Alexander. This is this cart's final stop. Please leave the cart here."

"Let's go, Max, we're here."