Guardian Alien (A broken/\ /connection)

[Alien Vision]

Link to original post: [drupal=4456]Guardian Alien (A broken/\ /connection)[/drupal]



When you were just a young kid, do you remember that feeling you got whenever your parent(s) were whispering to each other, or to a friend? Like you were left out? Even if there were probably other times you had a great time, you still couldn't help but feel like their was a hole in your stomache during those times. What about when they told you to go into the other room? When they told you that you were too young to understand what they were saying..? That connection that is missing.. The impact it has on us, for something we can't control.. The feeling of being lost.

What about when you love somebody? They don't portray enough for you to understand whether they are genuine or not. You cannot tell if they are leading you on.. So you get desperate, and start to question them..You test them..You know you love them, but somewhere inside, something wants to know the truth, even if it's paired with our negative emotions.. {Our minds will always play perfect realities in our head over and over again.. The real reality is a labyrinth that has no exit, it's not about escaping.. It's about enduring it for the rest of your life, to continue on the winding, endless path until you collapse..} What if this labyrinth was pressured by a lost connection? What if the strength you should have, that comes from those around you, were to be missing? {A broken connection with those around us, is a broken connection with ourselves..} The impact it has on us, for something we can't control.. The feeling of being unsure.

How about when you are talking to somebody trying to communicate with them? You forget a word that is vital to the rest of your conversation.. Yet, you can never remember that word..Can you feel that frustration? You know you should be able to remember it, but it won't come to you.. Without this word, the person on the other end can't understand what you were trying to say, because you were explaining something that was deep, and personal to you..The information that you said before that wouldn't be enough to shed light on what you were trying to get across.. Can you feel that fog that forms between you and them.. Can you feel the world close in on you? Can you feel the tension, and the breaking of balance? The breaking of comfort, and that connection you know you should have.. The impact is has on us, for something we can't control.. The feeling of being angry.

- What if that broken connection was there your entire life? -

During my entire life I never cared for the mainstream, and the ''normal'' things that the majority of our world likes. My mother was passive. She always hated violence, and was the goody two-shoes in her childhood. My father was the dominant character who understood when violence was needed, and when we should be able to protect ourselves.. I chose my mother's beliefs, which was then accompanied with God, peace, and other things that only made my life a living hell because of my ''fruity'' personality that I developed. I never could hit back. Kids that were 5x bigger than me would punch me dead in the chest, and later I would hear them say a cuss word. I'd let them go, and they still bullied me the next day. I was only 9, so how would I know what this world is capable of? I was just like every other kid who wonders what it looks like on the counter, because they were too short to see from the floor, only to regret it. I had red hair, was really skinny, and was a bashful individual who tried to act cool. I had nothing going for me. I remember so many times I felt like I was a failure as a person. I couldn't remember the lyrics to a song, while everyone around me was able to sing all of the lyrics. I remember when I saw kids always becoming stronger faster than me. I remember when I would watch their happiness, and the joy they had hanging out with each other, while I would sit behind the trees tearing leaves into pieces asking myself why I deserve this.. This one day a black kid made fun of me because of how I sat down on my desk prepared for the day. I was just a kid that everyone wanted nothing to do with, because I was that ''angel'' and was vulnerable to bullying. I never learned how to defend myself, because of my mother..

My father has a very bad temper.. I remember this one time I tried to explain to him that I found something that he was looking for, and I couldn't tell what he was trying to say. I kept telling him that I found it in my room, he said ''Where!?''. I said ''In my room'', he got frustrated and pushed me. I then said out of terror, ''By the cabinets''. He then walks off saying ''Thats all I wanted to know''. Like nothing out of the ordinary just happened.. Another time he was playing with me in the bathroom with the toothbrush infront of the mirror, and he accidentally hit me hard with it. I told him ''That hurt!'' he said ''I did not hurt you''. I told him that he did, and he stormed off out of the bathroom angry. My dad used to read us bedtime stories at night, so when my brother was getting ready for bed. My dad got a book to read and sat on the floor in the room by the metal bunkbed. I told him that I could feel the lump on my head where he hit me with the toothbrush. He said ''I did not hurt you!''. He then slammed my head on the metal bar. Yep.. Not only that, he said ''You don't get a story tonight. Go to bed.'' He turned off the light and I heard him calmly reading the story to my brother out in the living room. ( I am in tears while typing this..) I was blamed for so many things that I didn't mean to do or never did. There was another time where I was 7 in timeout, and my mother said ''I don't think he cares about me''. I said ''I don't care''. (Because at that age I got confused with ''I do care'' and ''I don't care'', like ''I do mind''. ''I don't mind.''.) My mom then yelled at me, and my father joined in, and they wouldn't even give me a chance to explain myself.. (I never could relate to anybody.. My only friend was myself, and the emptiness of my many lockups by my mom. Everyone has an ugly face. Just because my mom follows God, believes in peace, and is goody two-shoes, she was just as ****ed up as my father..

As I grew up, I learned how to defend myself, but I still couldn't connect with people. I am like a lost puppy to my used to be friends. I am lost in this world, and people make it even harder by thinking I am an egocentric troubled teen who has a god-complex that only thinks of himself. When I am not happy with my entire life. I want to go back before the head injury, and the horrible cough spells that hit me on July 6th 2010. I almost suffocated due to my throat closing up while coughing uncontrollably in the kitchen. I would tear up everytime I had a coughing spell every 20 seconds like I had bread crumbs in my throat. (The doctors told me that is was my sinuses draining, but I have seen plenty of of people with their sinuses draining, and they never coughed like I did. I didn't even have the right symptoms. Something else hit me that day, and I have yet to understand it.) I have two things that built huge gaps in my life that changed my entire persona, so now it's nearly impossible to connect with people because it's like something shot through a piece of my subconscious. Like a meteor put a giant hole in my mind. Which now I am always into abstract, and writing, regardless if I don't use ''proper grammar'' or ''normal visuals''. I write what comes to me, what my minds processes. I do my very best to connect with people. I just can't think in your mind's axis. My mind is full of inconsistency, there has been times I even put up a giant argument over something that doesn't exist and I don't even know why.. The things I wrote, drew, and composed during the 3 months I had an amnesia from my head injury, I am unable to recognize it as my work even though it's clearly on my computer. The writing is deep, and more collected than what I am writing now. It's like another person that was me, wrote, drew, composed everything. You don't have to believe me, or anything. I am the only one who is cursed to live with these two strange moments in my life, so I have to burden the fact people will be doubting everything that I say..

In which, I don't care.. I just want to get this out there, so you understand why I am always changing my personality, and everything about me, aswell as my picture..

It's my way of trying to figure out how to connect with you by trying different things, which is all failing. I just can't connect with you without using a fake, happy personality that is not me, which doesn't talk about philosophy and is why I had the two friends I had before the head injury. This is the only way I can connect with people.. I want to share my deep, complex ideas, but I can't.. I try.. I just can't. Only a few people understand me, and they are just the few friends I have on my MSN. What do I expect, really? I feel like I am on a different frequency with everybody. I feel like I am staring out from a window when I talk to people face to face.. It's this weird dark cloud that layers over this world. Things around me disappear, because I am trying so hard to focus on the person infront of me, but it's like their words aren't registered by my brain. Which is why I made alot of mistakes when it came to my ex. I try really hard though.. I feel good when I am able to do something once in a blue moon.. But, I just can't connect.. Like..

My mom used to babysit kids alot, and this one family had a girl that I used to talk to alot. She tried to understand me, because she was with God, as such. One day I opened up to her, and told her that I hated my brother because she asked me what I thought about him. She got upset and told me that she was going to tell my mother, and I was pleading her not to. I remember how I felt submissive, and just focused on the fact she was about to tell on me, without letting me explain to her why I felt the way I did, when my brother is a lying piece of **** to begin with..

I know I am saying the words.. I know I am speaking English.. Why my words cannot get across, and why everyone else's words I try to listen to makes me feel like I am watching in a dark room with a fogged up mirror.. I try. This is what matters, but in the end being alone will always elaborate how it can be a curse..

{I don't mind being alone, it's why I am alone that makes me feel lost.}

I just don't know anymore.. I am a guardian alien. I wish to protect, but I am alienated by my inability to connect with people before, and after the head injury.. The head injury just makes it harder for me to connect with people for obvious reasons. I don't care anymore, because none of you care anymore. You just deface everything that seems out of place, and you never give people like me a chance to deem myself genuine as what I have become, or why. You just jump to all of the attention *****s out there, and throw me in along with them.. It's depressing..

All I want is somebody to talk to, that can understand me, without me trying to break the mirror to become somebody I am not..

That is all I could ever wish for..

 

[:mad:]

Link to original post: [drupal=4456]Guardian Alien (A broken/\ /connection)[/drupal]

Spoiler

When you were just a young kid, do you remember that feeling you got whenever your parent(s) were whispering to each other, or to a friend? Like you were left out? Even if there were probably other times you had a great time, you still couldn't help but feel like there was a hole in your stomache during those times. What about when they told you to go into the other room? When they told you that you were too young to understand what they were saying..? That connection that is missing.. The impact it has on us, for something we can't control.. The feeling of being lost.

What about when you love somebody? They don't portray enough for you to understand whether they are genuine or not. You cannot tell if they are leading you on.. So you get desperate, and start to question them..You test them..You know you love them, but somewhere inside, something wants to know the truth, even if it's paired with our negative emotions.. {Our minds will always play perfect realities in our head over and over again.. The real reality is a labyrinth that has no exit, it's not about escaping.. It's about enduring it for the rest of your life, to continue on the winding, endless path until you collapse..} What if this labyrinth was pressured by a lost connection? What if the strength you should have, that comes from those around you, were to be missing? {A broken connection with those around us, is a broken connection with ourselves..} The impact it has on us, for something we can't control.. The feeling of being unsure.

How about when you are talking to somebody trying to communicate with them? You forget a word that is vital to the rest of your conversation.. Yet, you can never remember that word..Can you feel that frustration? You know you should be able to remember it, but it won't come to you.. Without this word, the person on the other end can't understand what you were trying to say, because you were explaining something that was deep, and personal to you..The information that you said before that wouldn't be enough to shed light on what you were trying to get across.. Can you feel that fog that forms between you and them.. Can you feel the world close in on you? Can you feel the tension, and the breaking of balance? The breaking of comfort, and that connection you know you should have.. The impact is has on us, for something we can't control.. The feeling of being angry.

- What if that broken connection was there your entire life? -

During my entire life I never cared for the mainstream, and the ''normal'' things that the majority of our world likes. My mother was passive. She always hated violence, and was the goody two-shoes in her childhood. My father was the dominant character who understood when violence was needed, and when we should be able to protect ourselves.. I chose my mother's beliefs, which was then accompanied with God, peace, and other things that only made my life a living hell because of my ''fruity'' personality that I developed. I never could hit back. Kids that were 5x bigger than me would punch me dead in the chest, and later I would hear them say a cuss word. I'd let them go, and they still bullied me the next day. I was only 9, so how would I know what this world is capable of? I was just like every other kid who wonders what it looks like on the counter, because they were too short to see from the floor, only to regret it. I had red hair, was really skinny, and was a bashful individual who tried to act cool. I had nothing going for me. I remember so many times I felt like I was a failure as a person. I couldn't remember the lyrics to a song, while everyone around me was able to sing all of the lyrics. I remember when I saw kids always becoming stronger faster than me. I remember when I would watch their happiness, and the joy they had hanging out with each other, while I would sit behind the trees tearing leaves into pieces asking myself why I deserve this.. This one day a black kid made fun of me because of how I sat down on my desk prepared for the day. I was just a kid that everyone wanted nothing to do with, because I was that ''angel'' and was vulnerable to bullying. I never learned how to defend myself, because of my mother..

My father has a very bad temper.. I remember this one time I tried to explain to him that I found something that he was looking for, and I couldn't tell what he was trying to say. I kept telling him that I found it in my room, he said ''Where!?''. I said ''In my room'', he got frustrated and pushed me. I then said out of terror, ''By the cabinets''. He then walks off saying ''Thats all I wanted to know''. Like nothing out of the ordinary just happened.. Another time he was playing with me in the bathroom with the toothbrush infront of the mirror, and he accidentally hit me hard with it. I told him ''That hurt!'' he said ''I did not hurt you''. I told him that he did, and he stormed off out of the bathroom angry. My dad used to read us bedtime stories at night, so when my brother was getting ready for bed. My dad got a book to read and sat on the floor in the room by the metal bunkbed. I told him that I could feel the lump on my head where he hit me with the toothbrush. He said ''I did not hurt you!''. He then slammed my head on the metal bar. Yep.. Not only that, he said ''You don't get a story tonight. Go to bed.'' He turned off the light and I heard him calmly reading the story to my brother out in the living room. ( I am in tears while typing this..) I was blamed for so many things that I didn't mean to do or never did. There was another time where I was 7 in timeout, and my mother said ''I don't think he cares about me''. I said ''I don't care''. (Because at that age I got confused with ''I do care'' and ''I don't care'', like ''I do mind''. ''I don't mind.''.) My mom then yelled at me, and my father joined in, and they wouldn't even give me a chance to explain myself.. (I never could relate to anybody.. My only friend was myself, and the emptiness of my many lockups by my mom. Everyone has an ugly face. Just because my mom follows God, believes in peace, and is goody two-shoes, she was just as ****ed up as my father..

As I grew up, I learned how to defend myself, but I still couldn't connect with people. I am like a lost puppy to my used to be friends. I am lost in this world, and people make it even harder by thinking I am an egocentric troubled teen who has a god-complex that only thinks of himself. When I am not happy with my entire life. I want to go back before the head injury, and the horrible cough spells that hit me on July 6th 2010. I almost suffocated due to my throat closing up while coughing uncontrollably in the kitchen. I would tear up everytime I had a coughing spell every 20 seconds like I had bread crumbs in my throat. (The doctors told me that is was my sinuses draining, but I have seen plenty of of people with their sinuses draining, and they never coughed like I did. I didn't even have the right symptoms. Something else hit me that day, and I have yet to understand it.) I have two things that built huge gaps in my life that changed my entire persona, so now it's nearly impossible to connect with people because it's like something shot through a piece of my subconscious. Like a meteor put a giant hole in my mind. Which now I am always into abstract, and writing, regardless if I don't use ''proper grammar'' or ''normal visuals''. I write what comes to me, what my minds processes. I do my very best to connect with people. I just can't think in your mind's axis. My mind is full of inconsistency, there has been times I even put up a giant argument over something that doesn't exist and I don't even know why.. The things I wrote, drew, and composed during the 3 months I had an amnesia from my head injury, I am unable to recognize it as my work even though it's clearly on my computer. The writing is deep, and more collected than what I am writing now. It's like another person that was me, wrote, drew, composed everything. You don't have to believe me, or anything. I am the only one who is cursed to live with these two strange moments in my life, so I have to burden the fact people will be doubting everything that I say..

In which, I don't care.. I just want to get this out there, so you understand why I am always changing my personality, and everything about me, aswell as my picture..

It's my way of trying to figure out how to connect with you by trying different things, which is all failing. I just can't connect with you without using a fake, happy personality that is not me, which doesn't talk about philosophy and is why I had the two friends I had before the head injury. This is the only way I can connect with people.. I want to share my deep, complex ideas, but I can't.. I try.. I just can't. Only a few people understand me, and they are just the few friends I have on my MSN. What do I expect, really? I feel like I am on a different frequency with everybody. I feel like I am staring out from a window when I talk to people face to face.. It's this weird dark cloud that layers over this world. Things around me disappear, because I am trying so hard to focus on the person infront of me, but it's like their words aren't registered by my brain. Which is why I made alot of mistakes when it came to my ex. I try really hard though.. I feel good when I am able to do something once in a blue moon.. But, I just can't connect.. Like..

My mom used to babysit kids alot, and this one family had a girl that I used to talk to alot. She tried to understand me, because she was with God, as such. One day I opened up to her, and told her that I hated my brother because she asked me what I thought about him. She got upset and told me that she was going to tell my mother, and I was pleading her not to. I remember how I felt submissive, and just focused on the fact she was about to tell on me, without letting me explain to her why I felt the way I did, when my brother is a lying piece of **** to begin with..

I know I am saying the words.. I know I am speaking English.. Why my words cannot get across, and why everyone else's words I try to listen to makes me feel like I am watching in a dark room with a fogged up mirror.. I try. This is what matters, but in the end being alone will always elaborate how it can be a curse..

{I don't mind being alone, it's why I am alone that makes me feel lost.}

I just don't know anymore.. I am a guardian alien. I wish to protect, but I am alienated by my inability to connect with people before, and after the head injury.. The head injury just makes it harder for me to connect with people for obvious reasons. I don't care anymore, because none of you care anymore. You just deface everything that seems out of place, and you never give people like me a chance to deem myself genuine as what I have become, or why. You just jump to all of the attention *****s out there, and throw me in along with them.. It's depressing..

All I want is somebody to talk to, that can understand me, without me trying to break the mirror to become somebody I am not..

That is all I could ever wish for..

Reposting so I can actually read it.

 

[Alien Vision]

Reposting so I can actually read it.

Sorry. Colours never really bothered me.. I even read yellow, and dark blue, aswell as Tesh's font colour. I fixed it though.

 

[Teran]

Yellow on a dark background is pretty easy to make out though.

Plus it's my colour everyone has to ****ing read it or else.

 

[Alien Vision]

Yellow on a dark background is pretty easy to make out though.

Plus it's my colour everyone has to ****ing read it or else.

Oh. I should've said yellow on MSN's background. It blinds your eyes. It's fine on the SWF boards though. I was just making the point. Lol. You do a good job representing yellow though. I can't think of any other colour that suits you best. Dark blue, perhaps?

 

[Teran]

I had a dark blue name once upon a time. :3

 

[RyuReiatsu]

Let me start off by saying that I do understand the feeling of being lonely, lost and all that kind of stuff.

I've always had issues with connecting with people, except for a certain period of time. Which was years ago. As a kid, I, too, did not have friends and was a nerd, an angel, whatever people call it. I was also fat and the only asian kid in a school of blacks and latinos.

I've also got depression issues. I've posted emo blogs over here and people weren't complete *******s to me due to the fact that I wasn't acting like an arrogant prick. I do not post blogs over here anymore but that doesn't change the fact that there are things that you do that put yourself at odds.

But really, in the end, you have to understand that you cannot hold people responsible for the things that happened on these forums. I'll just go ahead and quote you, answering you right after.

I was just a kid that everyone wanted nothing to do with, because I was that ''angel'' and was vulnerable to bullying. I never learned how to defend myself, because of my mother..

I highly disagree with you on this. My mom was always very passive. I, too, was an 'angel' and didn't have friends. I had high grades, A's, all the time. But I still fought a lot due to my bad temper. You're blaming your mom for being too scared of fighting back. I was never taught to defend myself, I just did.

(The doctors told me that is was my sinuses draining, but I have seen plenty of of people with their sinuses draining, and they never coughed like I did. I didn't even have the right symptoms. Something else hit me that day, and I have yet to understand it.)

You have that thing with being unique and special. And that is why people do not believe you, you're trying too hard. If it weren't right, you should've checked on another doctor. You always claim to be this or that, you self-proclaim yourself to be whatever you believe or want to be, which is what a lot of attention *****s too. I've known depressed people and they do not seem to try, they just are.

I just can't connect with you without using a fake, happy personality that is not me, which doesn't talk about philosophy and is why I had the two friends I had before the head injury. This is the only way I can connect with people.. I want to share my deep, complex ideas, but I can't.. I try.. I just can't

You act arrogantly and in a very disrespectful manner, it is only natural that people get to dislike you and do not believe in what you say. It is very acceptable not being a happy person. I keep my problems to myself and only choose the few right people to talk about it because it is indeed true that many people would throw you out as soon as you mention being depressed. But still, you have to behave properly. And by behave, I don't mean to act as somebody else, it is to learn respect. You can be sad all you want, just don't be a ****ing d**k about it.

I've approached El Nino because from what I could see, he is a helpful individual and can relate a lot to him. Same for Super_Sonic8677, he's a good guy too. But you've gotten on his bad side too, which is due to your ******* ways.

At first, when I approached you, I wanted to help you. But you clearly are delusional and should go look for psychiatric help if anything. Claiming to be as good as a God is really something else, seriously. We've been d**ks to you, but with reason. So go look for help and stop blaming everything on everybody.

And especially, stop writing as if you had not done anything wrong. because you did. You seem like somebody that is unable to take responsibility for his acts, it is time that you grow up and do.

EDIT: I'm not looking for a fight. Just expressing sincerely what I think of your situation. If you take offense to it and start bashing me, you're losing. As you'll go back to square one, which is where you are at the moment actually.

 

[Super_Sonic8677]

Alien Vision, you don't need to pretend to be someone else to be accepted or liked here.
Just some common courtesy and respect for your fellow poster. And I don't mean kiss *** like you did in the debate hall either. Just be thoughtful of others when you post. ^^;

There's no need for name calling, a respectful debater with solid facts and evidence is imcomparable to an overassertive one with nothing much but the attitude.

And there's no need to take things so personally.

You came to the Banned thread in the forum games coming at me like we had had a fight or something. When I had nothing against you, until you kept pushing what you thought was an issue. And then when I didn't adress it all serious, you got upset.

Debates are nothing personal. You bring your stance and evidence to the table and then go back and forth on it until the truth is reached if there's one to be found. And then go about your business.

I feel for you because I had a less than perfect life up to this point myself. But you know what doesn't kill ya will make you stronger. It's not the situation, it's how you deal that defines who you are. And right now in every less than pleasant situation I and others have had with you, you've just gone about it all wrong. =\

You're young, and young acting even for your age. As I said before, I do believe being around IRL people more and less on here would help you alot. Because there are serious consequences to what you say and do irl, but here...not so much. lol It will teach you how to interact around other people, regardless of how you are doing it or where. Go out with some buddy's from school or talk to people on here that are in your area about smashfests and go to them there's alot you can do. A job would be a big one as it forces you, depending on what you do, to be around people and socialize. And if for some reason you can not connect with others..then as ryureiatsu said..maybe some psychiatric help is in order. Seeing things through the eyes of others makes your perspective on everything clearer.

I'm a very easy going guy for the most part. But anyone will take offense to their post being ignored comepletely and turned into..quacking lol

So no more of that and no more raging on the internet over things that aren't important or are supposed to be fun! Like the banned game lol and you'll do alot better

Play nice and like I said before, remember the magic words xD

 

[Alien Vision]

Ryu​

Let me start off by saying that I do understand the feeling of being lonely, lost and all that kind of stuff.

I've always had issues with connecting with people, except for a certain period of time. Which was years ago. As a kid, I, too, did not have friends and was a nerd, an angel, whatever people call it. I was also fat and the only asian kid in a school of blacks and latinos.

I've also got depression issues. I've posted emo blogs over here and people weren't complete *******s to me due to the fact that I wasn't acting like an arrogant prick. I do not post blogs over here anymore but that doesn't change the fact that there are things that you do that put yourself at odds.

But really, in the end, you have to understand that you cannot hold people responsible for the things that happened on these forums. I'll just go ahead and quote you, answering you right after.

I never posted emo blogs by the standard of ''emo''. It's dark, and depressive to me, but that is not ''emo'' until I cross the line. I wasn't acting arrogant in anyway. You misinterpret what I was saying. I already stated this, and I won't be stating it again. I have every right to defend my course as a character in life who is accused of having a god-complex, is arrogant, and other stuff that isn't true. I don't even need my good friends to vouch for that, it's that much of a fact. I am not going to hold your hand, so keep piling accusations all you want. I don't care.

I highly disagree with you on this. My mom was always very passive. I, too, was an 'angel' and didn't have friends. I had high grades, A's, all the time. But I still fought a lot due to my bad temper. You're blaming your mom for being too scared of fighting back. I was never taught to defend myself, I just did.

My mother wouldn't let me fight back, or else I would get punished. Even then, if she didn't, the psychological factors that you process would make you more submissive, so shut the **** up if you are going to continue bashing me like a hypocrite that you are. You don't know jack about psychology, if you can't relate to the fact I took my mom's personality, over my father's. Whats funny is, usually those who choose the father's path is obsessed with power and authority.. Weird..

You have that thing with being unique and special. And that is why people do not believe you, you're trying too hard. If it weren't right, you should've checked on another doctor. You always claim to be this or that, you self-proclaim yourself to be whatever you believe or want to be, which is what a lot of attention *****s too. I've known depressed people and they do not seem to try, they just are.

I'm sorry, you weren't there. You didn't see the pain I was in, nor the tears in my eyes. I can handle everything else. Whatever hit me that day was not ''normal''. Get off your high horse, and your big brother chair, and shut the **** up. I am getting sick of you more and more as I read further. You are doing nothing but bashing me, while you are no better in any way. I would never bash anyone the way you are especially if I don't even know the person, when I don't even have my own solid evidence to prove they are who I say they are. I am a bold debater, who goes at a ruthless level of debate sure, but never do I directly insult you. So stop being a *****, like I hurt your feelings, when I disagreed with you. Sorry for being human who has his own perspectives that fights hard for them.

You act arrogantly and in a very disrespectful manner, it is only natural that people get to dislike you and do not believe in what you say. It is very acceptable not being a happy person. I keep my problems to myself and only choose the few right people to talk about it because it is indeed true that many people would throw you out as soon as you mention being depressed. But still, you have to behave properly. And by behave, I don't mean to act as somebody else, it is to learn respect. You can be sad all you want, just don't be a ****ing d**k about it.

I've approached El Nino because from what I could see, he is a helpful individual and can relate a lot to him. Same for Super_Sonic8677, he's a good guy too. But you've gotten on his bad side too, which is due to your ******* ways.

At first, when I approached you, I wanted to help you. But you clearly are delusional and should go look for psychiatric help if anything. Claiming to be as good as a God is really something else, seriously. We've been d**ks to you, but with reason. So go look for help and stop blaming everything on everybody.

And especially, stop writing as if you had not done anything wrong. because you did. You seem like somebody that is unable to take responsibility for his acts, it is time that you grow up and do.

EDIT: I'm not looking for a fight. Just expressing sincerely what I think of your situation. If you take offense to it and start bashing me, you're losing. As you'll go back to square one, which is where you are at the moment actually.

You aren't looking for a fight? Thats why you write sarcasm on everything I posted after your misinterpretation like a child? Whatever man, do what you may. You are just making a fool out of yourself, wasting your time. You act like you know everything about me, like you understand me, when you are being a relentless prick who doesn't know how to **** off. I'm sorry I hurt your sensitive feelings indirectly.. Is that what you want to hear? You need to **** off. I do not act arrogant. I am angry at you because you just won't **** off. I am upset at everyone else, because I can't get my ''connection'' going. Everything is misinterpreted against me, and people assume way too much as if they know me. Whatever though. What did I expect from a race that points fingers at everyone else but themselves. I admit to my mistakes when they are there, unlike you. You were arrogant, and foolish on MSN. I corrected you, and I felt anger in your words.. You are just as delusional as the me you wish to see me as. **** off prick. You are nothing, if you want to keep being a belligerent **** face who can't reason for ****.

Yep. I should look for psychiatric help. Unlike you, I have a serious problem. I dealt with everything in my life from my childhood. I am brave. I fight for every ounce of strength I have left. I defend my place. I am a fighter. SO THE **** WHAT. My only problem left is my own mind, and all of the psychological factors that accompany it that people won't take serious because they are too busy acting like they are ****ing perfect, and that every ****ing problem as a god damn on/off switch. Just like my god damn father. GTFO. You are getting on my last nerve..

Sonic​

Sigh.. I told you already in my own way. I wasn't starting anything. I asked you a question, and gave you a honest answer to the game. What more do you want? An attitude that you can't see because you, and everyone else sees me as if I am some monster. When you are just twisting everything I try to get across. How many times am I going to have to say those god damn words? I am not saying them again. This is the last time I try to explain myself, because you guys just won't get it through your head, because you have hindsight. You are able to look back at what I did, and put your own rational puzzle pieces to it. I made the argument, you don't live inside my head. So please, stop acting like you do. I respect you, but when I disagree with something I will let you know. There are people out there that are worse than the ''me'' you think I am, and I see people protecting them as if they should live the monster they had become. Yet, when it comes to me, who is only trying to keep his cool, and reason with you. All I ****ing get is more dead ends, and more of this ''We are trying to help you..'' Bull****. I am not arrogant. I do not have a god-complex. I have a bit of an ego, so what? Everyone does. It's what allows us to appreciate the **** that we work so ****ing hard to do.. I don't belittle people around me. I don't think of myself higher than others. Stop misinterpreting everything acting like you know damn well what I am doing, and my type of persona. It's starting to really piss me off. Who cares if I am depressed, I have every right to. I can't really get through any of your ****ing heads, because like I said. you guys are in your rational, perfect realities you make up about yourselves and the world around you while nitpicking stupid **** that people do wrong, when you are this ****ing perfect being who has nothing wrong with them, of course you always say thats not true.

All of you..​

Bull****. Keep accusing me, keep insinuating, keep bombarding me with uneccessary insults, keep ****ing with me, keep acting like you know me, keep pointing fingers at everyone's faults but yours when these faults aren't even THERE, keep trying to help me when you can't even help yourselves. Never in my life would I ever bombard a person like you guys do, when I don't even know the guy. You guys are fail. I'm sorry that you can't admit it, for the pain, and bull**** you cause me by twisting, and destroying every attempt I make to explain myself as if I am some manic depressant god-complex that is better than everyone who is making up excuses..

Proceed. Please..

 

[El Nino]

Obviously, you three have exchanged words elsewhere, and it didn't go well. Now is probably a good time for you all to step away from each other. If you guys don't get along, there's no point in doing this.

@AV:

You are nothing, if you want to keep being a belligerent **** face who can't reason for ****....Just like my god damn father. GTFO. You are getting on my last nerve..

Communication goes both ways. Most likely, people have misinterpreted you, but the reason many have called you arrogant is because of your manner of posting. It's hard to respond to statements like those above without thinking that the speaker is self-obsessed.

 

[Panta]

How did you go from posting Latin and other words that no one without a Ph.D in mind****ery would be able to understand to this? O_O

 

[Alien Vision]

Obviously, you three have exchanged words elsewhere, and it didn't go well. Now is probably a good time for you all to step away from each other. If you guys don't get along, there's no point in doing this.

^

Communication goes both ways. Most likely, people have misinterpreted you, but the reason many have called you arrogant is because of your manner of posting. It's hard to respond to statements like those above without thinking that the speaker is self-obsessed.

I'm pissed, Nino. Do you not know the psychological web that envelops you when people dismember everything about you through misinterpretations, and continue to see you as a monster? Can you even begin to fathom the stress, and pressure I am undergoing because of these misconceptions from these hypocrites who are too busy bashing me, and can't ****ing listen to me. Mhmm? When I actually have to burden two blanks in my life that only I will ever question, and understand the mystery of. While everyone calls bluff, and says I am some boy crying wolf. When they don't EVEN ****ING KNOW ME. I am PISSED. SORRY FOR BEING HUMAN.

Panta​

I am not vastly intelligent. I don't even believe in intelligence. I only believe in knowledge. What I did then was not my brain, but my ability to manifest giant words from a site to make a point of ''disconnection'' in a form of art, that people still didn't get. Instead I was seen as arrogant, with a god-complex again.

I love this world. I really do...

 

[Panta]

Panta​

I am not vastly intelligent. I don't even believe in intelligence. I only believe in knowledge. What I did then was not my brain, but my ability to manifest giant words from a site to make a point of ''disconnection'' in a form of art, that people still didn't get. Instead I was seen as arrogant, with a god-complex again.

I love this world. I really do...

Ok, I'll try to be as nice as possible (I swear if you are trolling, so help me God). How can you get mad at people for not knowing such an intricate fact about your life? We aren't in your head. We don't know why you posted that gibberish and trolling was a simple solution. I really do feel sorry for you. Why didn't you tell your mom that he hit you like that? From the way you make it sound, she might have done something.

I don't want you to divulge anymore information than you already have, for the sake of your own privacy, but there are too many holes in your story for a complete picture of you and your mental state of mind (why is your brother a lieing pos, and you have amnesia from your dad hitting you against the metal railing?).

Also, after what you have done in the Userblog section, I don't think you will get much sympathy.

 

[El Nino]

I'm pissed, Nino. Do you not know the psychological web that envelops you when people dismember everything about you through misinterpretations, and continue to see you as a monster?

Regardless of what they say about you, it won't change your reality. Could it be that you're just putting too much value in everyone else's opinion of you?

Can you even begin to fathom the stress, and pressure I am undergoing because of these misconceptions from these hypocrites who are too busy bashing me, and can't ****ing listen to me.

All the more reason to step away from this discussion until everyone calms down.

Edit: And Panta makes a good point. We don't live inside your head, and we're not going to see things the way you do. It looks like every time you try to explain yourself to us, something gets lost in translation. If communication is really a problem for you irl, you might want to consider seeing a therapist. Not because of a mental issue, but just to help learn ways to establish rapport with people.

 

[Panta]

Regardless of what they say about you, it won't change your reality. Could it be that you're just putting to much value in everyone else's opinion of you?



All the more reason to step away from this discussion until everyone calms down.

Edit: And Panta makes a good point. We don't live inside your head, and we're not going to see things the way you do. It looks like every time you try to explain yourself to us, something gets lost in translation.

Given Alien Vision's mental health, I have a feeling this is why he made the post. He is probably more prone to outlandish behavior and irascibility due to no one understanding him or his train of thought because of his amnesia. At least now I can look at him in a different light as a person struggling to express their opinions, yet incapable of doing so due to mental restraints.

Stay strong, Alien.

 

[Alien Vision]

Ok, I'll try to be as nice as possible (I swear if you are trolling, so help me God). How can you get mad at people for not knowing such an intricate fact about your life? We aren't in your head. We don't know why you posted that gibberish and trolling was a simple solution. I really do feel sorry for you. Why didn't you tell your mom that he hit you like that? From the way you make it sound, she might have done something.

I don't want you to divulge anymore information than you already have, for the sake of your own privacy, but there are too many holes in your story for a complete picture of you and your mental state of mind (why is your brother a lieing pos, and you have amnesia from your dad hitting you against the metal railing?).

Also, after what you have done in the Userblog section, I don't think you will get much sympathy.

Actually.. I appeared in Creative Minds first. I was then bashed out of misinterpretations once again. I know damn well, that what I say and do, MAKES SENSE. You know why? Because, I have friends who understand me. If I didn't make sense, how the **** would I be making sense to them? Obviously SOMETHING is wrong here.. Yep, some kind of freqency indifference, and petty ANALyzing, taking my **** too personal. What I did with the huge words was nothing more but me emphasising how I can't connect with anyone, aswell as making a point that big words are needless. We do NOT need a god damn 42 letter word for the word ''dog''. Scientists aren't ''intelligent''. They just manifest knowledge as a game, and a new establishment. When words are supposed to be a way to connection and communicate, not see who can speak a language nobody knows better. -.- Again, you too? You misinterpret everything I say, and think I am making a fool out of myself? Ok then. Say what you wish. I don't care. Nobody seems to see light in my words. It's all undeveloped premature hogwash that you regurgitate from improper intepretating. Way to go! For joining the bandwagon, and acting like you know me, and the path I am towarding.

My mom is a coward. My dad is a coward. My dad holds this family together. Sometimes, it's not them that scares us, it's the after effects, and the backlash that comes from it.. No, if you ''read my other blogs in the blog section'' you would know that I had a seperate head injury. You would also know that I am Tamed Shadow. If you don't, please do not even try to act like you know me too.. Or I am going to drown you in paragraphs like this, with more brutality.

I'm getting sick of being seen for something I am not.. Why is this so ****ing bad? I am defending myself as a person, what do you want me to do? Absorb these lies that aren't true? Yep. LETS DO THAT!

Given Alien Vision's mental health, I have a feeling this is why he made the post. He is probably more prone to outlandish behavior and irascibility due to no one understanding him or his train of thought because of his amnesia. At least now I can look at him in a different light as a person struggling to express their opinions, yet incapable of doing so due to mental restraints.

Stay strong, Alien.

I made the post because I am pleading for some kind of light to be shed on my god damned innocence that nobody is able to ****ing see for some god damn ****ing reason beyond me.. There are two friends on my MSN that understand me 100% and can discuss with me FINE. Why is this!? This is not a mental problem! ITS NOT ME. I speak English! I speak words that aren't huge, and illiterate! WHY CAN'T I GET MY POINTS ACROSS. I try, so hard but for some reason it's like I am talking to a ****ing wall, that didn't hear one word I said.. My only real problem is me being unable to register alot of someone's words in real life. Thats not the point though.. I am frustrated, I am pissed. It's normal. I never expected you to get inside my head.. YOU GUYS COULD'VE EASILY ASKED ME WHAT MY OP MEANT. No, you JUMPED to accusations, and insulted my character with false insinuations. Way to go!

 

[Panta]

Actually.. I appeared in Creative Minds first. I was then bashed out of misinterpretations once again. I know damn well, that what I say and do, MAKES SENSE. You know why? Because, I have friends who understand me. If I didn't make sense, how the **** would I be making sense to them? Obviously SOMETHING is wrong here.. Yep, some kind of freqency indifference, and petty ANALyzing, taking my **** too personal. What I did with the huge words was nothing more but me emphasising how I can't connect with anyone, aswell as making a point that big words are needless. We do NOT need a god damn 42 letter word for the word ''dog''. Scientists aren't ''intelligent''. They just manifest knowledge as a game, and a new establishment. When words are supposed to be a way to connection and communicate, not see who can speak a language nobody knows better. -.- Again, you too? You misinterpret everything I say, and think I am making a fool out of myself? Ok then. Say what you wish. I don't care. Nobody seems to see light in my words. It's all undeveloped premature hogwash that you regurgitate from improper intepretating. Way to go! For joining the bandwagon, and acting like you know me, and the path I am towarding.

My mom is a coward. My dad is a coward. My dad holds this family together. Sometimes, it's not them that scares us, it's the after effects, and the backlash that comes from it.. No, if you ''read my other blogs in the blog section'' you would know that I had a seperate head injury. You would also know that I am Tamed Shadow. If you don't, please do not even try to act like you know me too.. Or I am going to drown you in paragraphs like this, with more brutality.

I'm getting sick of being seen for something I am not.. Why is this so ****ing bad? I am defending myself as a person, what do you want me to do? Absorb these lies that aren't true? Yep. LETS DO THAT!

Why do you think I am against you? I'm not.

I'm new here. I don't know anyone. I don't know El Nino, I don't know Tamed Shadow, I don't know Teran, or anyone. All I saw was your specieslanguage posts in Userblogs and everyone flipping a **** about it.

I never said no one will be able to understand you. If I did, I am sorry. People, given enough time, will be able to know their friends better than themselves. Your friends know your history, they have lived with you, you console with them. I am not surprised that you do have friends and can communicate with them.

Your most recent post, for lack of a better word (or words) is essentially "don't bite the hand that feeds you". I'm not trying to inflict any mental anguish on you. I'm not trying to judge you. I am trying to show you why some people may think you are a **** and that people will see things differently given the vast amount of perspectives, but you already know that.

 

[Super_Sonic8677]

I wasn't sarcastic at first you know.
I never talked to you on msn either I don't even have msn, I have aim.
<.<;
;>.>

And to quote yourself "You're not understanding me"
I don't claim anything about anything. Just saying what I observe in you and comparing it to what I've seen in myself and others.
There's nothing wrong about having a pride in what you do. But the way in which you are doing it is offensive. Feelings hurt wut? And I don't know where you came up with the idea that I thought you were some horrible person. The worst thing I've called you is a moron. That's not horrible at all, maybe a little embarressing but not horrible. I don't know you enough to know whether or not you're a horrible person so we'll just assume that I don't think you're a horrible person from now on. ^^;;;;

You called posters ignorant and moron when they were giving their side to debates when they had done nothing worth of the accusations you gave. That is belittling others. =\ You don't have to be rude to get your point across. It's not about people's feelings it's about what kind of person it makes you look like.

Um well I'm going to go out on a limb and say all the people that care about you, care that you're depressed. It's not a good way to be. =\

Perfect realities huh? I wish I had such a thing..if it existed I wouldn't be going to court in two months for DUI because my sis's ignorant BF called the police when I took him home for trying to pick a fight with my friends. My ex GF wouldn't have left me and gotten back with the same scum bag who was cheatin and beatin her for the past 5 years. My dad wouldn't have gotten handicapped due to a disc in his spine exploding or as a result partly because of all the meds he had to take, turn into the obsessive, complusive, abusive, manipulative miserable piece of **** that he was for 10 years that beat the **** out of me, not once but multiple times. Which has caused me to become the gym obsessed, weight lifting, over reflexive (as in poke me and I may flatten you where you stand if I don't know that you're there.) obsessive, complusive, socially and sexually confused person that I am. My mom wouldn't live in my grandmother's basement with some dude who's not even 9 years older than me. One of my best friends from NY wouldn't have died at the age of 30. And I'd still be in upstate NY with the first girl I ever truely fell in love with.

Too bad there's no such thing as a perfect reality.

 

[Alien Vision]

Why do you think I am against you? I'm not.

I'm new here. I don't know anyone. I don't know El Nino, I don't know Tamed Shadow, I don't know Teran, or anyone. All I saw was your specieslanguage posts in Userblogs and everyone flipping a **** about it.

I never said no one will be able to understand you. If I did, I am sorry. People, given enough time, will be able to know their friends better than themselves. Your friends know your history, they have lived with you, you console with them. I am not surprised that you do have friends and can communicate with them.

Your most recent post, for lack of a better word (or words) is essentially "don't bite the hand that feeds you". I'm not trying to inflict any mental anguish on you. I'm not trying to judge you. I am trying to show you why some people may think you are a **** and that people will see things differently given the vast amount of perspectives, but you already know that.

''Ok. I will try to be as nice as possible'' <-- What does this mean to you? It certainly says otherwise of what you just typed up. Change of heart, perspective? Sounds like you were against me when you said that. Why else would you ''try to be nice''. What do I deserve to be lashed out at for? I am lashing out everyone else because I have a right. I am broken into pieces by misinterpretations that I can't ****ing see. Just like my head injury I had, and that serious cough spell I had a year later. I am turned into something I am not, and I am tired of people acting like they are trying to help me, when I am just PERFECT. Yep. I am DANDY. I try to stay cool but my patience was shattered by the sheer inaccurate progress I managed to complete. Which is what? 0% I am here right now cussing, and upset. I am failing hardcore, but what is the ****ing point? Atleast I admit to my weakness, and admit I am being a bit immature right now. I'm sorry that I can't take this BULL**** that people throw at me through their jaded senses they have. I am trying really hard. Really. So.. what hand is feeding me? The hand is feeding me lies, and bull****. I am not going to get molested by deception just because I am desperate for connection. I want order. I want to see RIGHTFUL connection, not bull**** desperate attempts to gain connection by telling them ''Oh, you're right. I'm sorry. I am a sack of hardcore ****. I apologize my holyness''. Thats not going to happen. Sorry.

You are right though. My friends know me, but they don't know me in real life. Yet we are like brothers so that does establish a great connection. He actually ''GAVE ME A CHANCE''. Everyone who understands me says ''I thought you were weird at first, but I decided to give you a chance. Now, I am glad we are talking here today'' Or along those lines. So.. It's not me.. It's the atmosphere, and the general psychological factors that float within the endless space of humanity that is ****ing **** up, because apparently people think I am a die hard emo, crybaby, child, arrogant fool, god-complex, *insert BULL**** here*.

I wasn't sarcastic at first you know.
I never talked to you on msn either I don't even have msn, I have aim.
<.<;
;>.>

And to quote yourself "You're not understanding me"
I don't claim anything about anything. Just saying what I observe in you and comparing it to what I've seen in myself and others.

You aren't understanding me though. Why else would I be here showing you my weaker, animalistic seeking for protection side? I have been bombarded by hateful insults that were directed towards me. Especially Ryu, who is no better than the ''me'' he thinks I am. I don't care really. You and Ryu are good friends, so I figured you would never see the light of day in what I try to get across. Since Ryu, thinks he has me all figured out, while you ride his ****. Ok then. Awesome. You still act like you know me, and you completely shattered my character, and acted like I was just a troubled kid who needed to pull my **** together, when my mind is ****ed up literally. I can handle EVERYTHING in my life. I wasn't crying, and talking about my childhood to gain attention. If I was, I would've said SO MUCH MORE. Did you know my mom has over 549375034 illnesses? Did you know she knows practically everyone at the hospital because she lives there? Did you know that? NO. It's sad that I have to ****ing EXPLAIN to you that I am only trying to get a certain point across, and not trying to seem like some attention seeking ***** who has a god-complex, and attacks everyone's ''insight''.

 

[RyuReiatsu]

Since you're pissed and pissed off people amuse me. And that you're still godamned arrogant.

"Words don't hurt."

EDIT: Being bashed out of the creative minds is ridiculous, I'll give you that. Abstract can be pretty much anything. As long as it's not kid stuff.

EDIT2: Fine, I will.

 

[El Nino]

You aren't understanding me though. Why else would I be here showing you my weaker, animalistic seeking for protection side? I have been bombarded by hateful insults that were directed towards me. Especially Ryu, who is no better than the ''me'' he thinks I am. I don't care really. You and Ryu are good friends, so I figured you would never see the light of day in what I try to get across. Since Ryu, thinks he has me all figured out, while you ride his ****. Ok then. Awesome. You still act like you know me, and you completely shattered my character, and acted like I was just a troubled kid who needed to pull my **** together, when my mind is ****ed up literally. I can handle EVERYTHING in my life. I wasn't crying, and talking about my childhood to gain attention. If I was, I would've said SO MUCH MORE. Did you know my mom has over 549375034 illnesses? Did you know she knows practically everyone at the hospital because she lives there? Did you know that? NO. It's sad that I have to ****ing EXPLAIN to you that I am only trying to get a certain point across, and not trying to seem like some attenion seeking ***** who has a god-complex, and attacks everyone's ''insight''.

Alien Vision: It's obvious that you, Sonic and Ryu aren't going to agree on things. It sounds like a personal disagreement, and I don't think anything is going to be settled by all of you throwing swear words and insults back and forth on this forum.

That goes for the rest of you too. Let's just say this is AV's venting space and move on.

 

[Alien Vision]

Since you're pissed and pissed off people amuse me. And that you're still godamned arrogant.

"Words don't hurt."

Words don't hurt.

Insults indirected don't hurt.

Insults directed can be taken seriously or not..

When you shut down everything about me (or anybody for that matter) out there with your BS interpretations of me, and challenge every single ounce of strength I put into my attemp to reach you guys, it hurts really bad. I feel helpess, and just nothing. That I can't get my ideas across, because of this wall that is between us. Also, I am not arrogant. You are the one who is arrogant to write such a dark response. You are a pathetic fool, you know that? Honestly, you continue to target me, while Sonic is actually being more respectful.. **** off.

I rather have a bully tell me I am nothing, I am pathetic. I have nothing going for me. Than my father pushing me to do something, and expecting me to with his godsend standards. Please, respond with a better response next time. Kthxbai.

Alien Vision: It's obvious that you, Sonic and Ryu aren't going to agree on things. It sounds like a personal disagreement, and I don't think anything is going to be settled by all of you throwing swear words and insults back and forth on this forum.

That goes for the rest of you too. Let's just say this is AV's venting space and move on.

I am fully aware of this. I will know when to stop responding, Nino. I did it to Sonic last time, I will do it to Ryu if he crosses my line of patience. Don't worry. Also, my cuss words, and insulting his actions because he insults me is meeting the argument at full circle. It's like playing tug-o-war actually.. It's not like couples don't fight about things. It's not like best friends don't fight over a special girl.. Arguments are healthy, if they are in the lines of ''logical balance''.

 

[Panta]

I said "I will try to be as nice as possible" because I had a feeling you would be angry.

I'm not trying to feed you lies or bull**** or deception. I want to help. I am trying to understand you.

Alien, have you seen a psychiatrist? Their help is lightyears ahead of any help that someone on a forum can give you.

We only see the version of you that you allow us. You haven't told us everything that has happened in your life (I am assuming you did to the people on MSN). We don't know the hardships that you go through daily unless you let us know. I know it sounds like I am pinning this all on you, but I am not. It is a two way street, but you are making it hard for both lanes to walk.

There will always be idiots, drolls, and ne'er-do-wells on the Internet. The anonymity breeds that behavior. Beyond ignoring their posts all I can say is take their posts in stride like you do the bully comments.

 

[RyuReiatsu]

Words don't hurt.

Insults indirected don't hurt.

When you shut down everything about me with your BS interpretations of me, and challenge every single ounce of strength I put into my attemp to reach you guys, it hurts really bad. I feel helpess, and just nothing. That I can't get my ideas across, because of this wall that is between us. Also, I am not arrogant. You are the one who is arrogant to write such a dark response. You are a pathetic fool, you know that? Honestly, you continue to target me, while Sonic is actually being more respectful.. **** off.

This is the kind of stuff that makes people hate you, you do realize that, don't you? I was being sincere and straightforward. You need to get off your high horses. Calling people FOOL is exactly what makes you seem so arrogant.

Then again, words shouldn't hurt, you said it yourself. Are you willing to say that you were wrong? You used it at its purest form while debating on many things, remember that.

And quite honestly, I know that I'm stepping out of line. So I'll stop posting on your threads, just for some respect.

Lead a good life.

 

[Super_Sonic8677]

I don't claim anything about anything. Just saying what I observe in you and comparing it to what I've seen in myself and others.
There's nothing wrong about having a bit of pride in what you do. But the way in which you are doing it is offensive. Feelings hurt wut? And I don't know where you came up with the idea that I thought you were some horrible person. The worst thing I've called you is a moron. That's not horrible at all, maybe a little embarressing but not horrible. I don't know you enough to know whether or not you're a horrible person so we'll just assume that I don't think you're a horrible person from now on. ^^;;;;

You called posters ignorant and moron when they were giving their side to debates when they had done nothing worth of the accusations you gave. That is belittling others. =\ You don't have to be rude to get your point across. It's not about people's feelings it's about what kind of person it makes you look like.

Um well I'm going to go out on a limb and say all the people that care about you, care that you're depressed. It's not a good way to be. =\

Perfect realities huh? I wish I had such a thing..if it existed I wouldn't be going to court in two months for DUI because my sis's ignorant BF called the police when I took him home for trying to pick a fight with my friends. My ex GF wouldn't have left me and gotten back with the same scum bag who was cheatin and beatin her for the past 5 years. My dad wouldn't have gotten handicapped due to a disc in his spine exploding or as a result partly because of all the meds he had to take, turn into the obsessive, complusive, abusive, manipulative miserable piece of **** that he was for 10 years that beat the **** out of me, not once but multiple times. Which has caused me to become the gym obsessed, weight lifting, over reflexive (as in poke me and I may flatten you where you stand if I don't know that you're there.) obsessive, complusive, socially and sexually confused person that I am. My mom wouldn't live in my grandmother's basement with some dude who's not even 9 years older than me. One of my best friends from NY wouldn't have died at the age of 30. And I'd still be in upstate NY with the first girl I ever truely fell in love with.

Too bad there's no such thing as a perfect reality.
I'm not being sarcastic either.

''

You aren't understanding me though. Why else would I be here showing you my weaker, animalistic seeking for protection side? I have been bombarded by hateful insults that were directed towards me. Especially Ryu, who is no better than the ''me'' he thinks I am. I don't care really. You and Ryu are good friends, so I figured you would never see the light of day in what I try to get across. Since Ryu, thinks he has me all figured out, while you ride his ****. Ok then. Awesome. You still act like you know me, and you completely shattered my character, and acted like I was just a troubled kid who needed to pull my **** together, when my mind is ****ed up literally. I can handle EVERYTHING in my life. I wasn't crying, and talking about my childhood to gain attention. If I was, I would've said SO MUCH MORE. Did you know my mom has over 549375034 illnesses? Did you know she knows practically everyone at the hospital because she lives there? Did you know that? NO. It's sad that I have to ****ing EXPLAIN to you that I am only trying to get a certain point across, and not trying to seem like some attention seeking ***** who has a god-complex, and attacks everyone's ''insight''.

I wasn't making fun of you alien vision. I was telling you that you weren't understanding me.

Ryu and me are friends but that doesn't mean we see everything eye to eye. What he thinks and what I think are two completely seperate things. As is our approaches to people.

Don't put words in my mouth either. I didn't call you a little kid.

You're being rude again.. That's what I'm talking about.. =\

 

[Alien Vision]

This is the kind of stuff that makes people hate you, you do realize that, don't you? I was being sincere and straightforward. You need to get off your high horses. Calling people FOOL is exactly what makes you seem so arrogant.

Then again, words shouldn't hurt, you said it yourself. Are you willing to say that you were wrong? You used it at its purest form while debating on many things, remember that.

And quite honestly, I know that I'm stepping out of line. So I'll stop posting on your threads, just for some respect.

Lead a good life.

You are a funny, funny man.

Panta​

Alright. I will calm down now. You are the type of people that I can relate to. So I will stop cussing. Anyways, I understand this. We do not have the money to afford a psychologist/psychiatrist they cost way too much money. I have night terrors and I am 18 years old, which is not normal. It's actually said that I need to see a professional help as soon as possible if someone still has night terrors at 18+ age. Usually it's only in babies actually. I never had night terrors, til after the head injury that caused whatever trauma it did. I got this head injury by wrestling with a friend of mind back when I was a white kid acting black, obsessed with power. When I was arrogant. They went to grapple me so I did a turn-around duck which ended up me bashing my head on the very edge of the couch arm. I even heard a crack upon impact. I had blood running down my head, and I went home early to go to bed. I was incredibly fatigued, and woozy. I seriously felt like I was drugged before I told my dad what happened before I went to bed. Alot of strange things came from this head injury that nobody will take seriously, but it's the mere fact it's not normal. I also have 90% of post-concussive disorder's symptoms. Which is already a bad sign, since I haven't went to the doctors yet. Also, on the site there is ''Important Details'' is says that if someone were to let this go on for more than a year, it's more than likely permanent. It's amazing how much ignorance can **** you up, when you are unaware of the things that are attacking you underneath your conscious level. :/

Anyways, I apologize. I was just upset, but I feel collected now. I respect your time you are spending to reason with me. I truly do. :3

Sonic​

Too bad there's no such thing as a perfect reality.
I'm not being sarcastic either.

It's not the perfect reality that we want. It's when so much **** goes on in our lives, and we always pick at people as if they are doing something that isn't even lesser than us like they are lesser. Of course nobody says anything about it. I feel your life's distortion, but it doesn't give you the right to say all the **** you did as if it was fact, because of a misinterpretation. How should I listen to you.. If you won't listen to me..? When you are insulting me..? When I ''insulted'' you.. With indirect responses to what I thought of your actions towards my ideas. Ignorant means ''Not knowing something''. I say that to show my disagreement in what you have said. What is so wrong with that? I like to have fiery passionated debates. Atleast I am not Battlecow who insults you directly, and doesn't even know you. I never said anything about your character, like you guys did to me nonchalantly. So I don't see why I should listen to you, when you wouldn't even give me a chance to listen. Because you were too busy changing all my words, and using trolling elements.

So yea..

 

[Super_Sonic8677]

Then..why don't you go to the doctors? AV if you don't have the money then you probably can fit into whatever govrnment or healthcare program there is in your area. Concussions are serious business. Especially bad ones. =\

Sonic​

It's not the perfect reality that we want. It's when so much **** goes on in our lives, and we always pick at people as if they are doing something that isn't even lesser than us like they are lesser. Of course nobody says anything about it. I feel your life's distortion, but it doesn't give you the right to say all the **** you did as if it was fact, because of a misinterpretation. How should I listen to you.. If you won't listen to me..? When you are insulting me..? When I ''insulted'' you.. With indirect responses to what I thought of your actions towards my ideas. Ignorant means ''Not knowing something''. I say that to show my disagreement in what you have said. What is so wrong with that? I like to have fiery passionated debates. Atleast I am not Battlecow who insults you directly, and doesn't even know you. I never said anything about your character, like you guys did to me nonchalantly. So I don't see why I should listen to you, when you wouldn't even give me a chance to listen. Because you were too busy changing all my words, and using trolling elements.

So yea..

It's not about being lesser, it's about functioning with the rest of society. If that is what you want to do. Whether or not you believe you did what you did or not. I do. And that is not only my opinion but the general consesus it seems so far. So since I insulted you and you insulted me that makes us even. Don't you agree? There's not one thing that I hate worse than being flat out ignored when I'm trying to convey something important. And that is exactly what happened with the whole "ducks" thing. So in my opinion, your attitude has been worse than Battlecow. Honestly AV, I'm past the point of caring. I'm just trying to help because I do feel bad because you don't even understand what it is that you do.. probably due to your head injury. So it probably is not even your fault. I didn't do anything worse than what I felt that you did to me if I were to take what someone says or does on the web to heart. And if you recall I didn't make fun of you at first, I only did that after the fact. And was always nice to you in the forum games until you brought the user blogs into the forum games.. =\

 

[Alien Vision]

Then..why don't you go to the doctors? AV if you don't have the money then you probably can fit into whatever govrnment or healthcare program there is in your area. Concussions are serious business. Especially bad ones. =\

I'm counting days to the next month. My dad isn't going to make an appointment this month because I read an article that said ''This month is the worst month for operations. 100 more people die this month than any other month'' I am guessing it's because people blow their fingers off fireworks or something. I am not sure. Lol. So, my dad is making one next month, on a random day that I am unsure of. I hope I don't have a growth, tumor, or ANYTHING. There was something else in the ''Important'' part of the site that said something about.. That bashing your head again after a head conussion can cause severe problems. Which is bad because I was at the park about 4 months later and I ran straight into a ledge that was just above my head at full speed while being chased. Exactly where I hit my head the first time.. .-.; So.. That makes me a bit worried.. and a bit of *shivers*. It's already scary when I see one of the symptoms say ''Your attention span may fluctuate''. Which it does. Like, abnormal level. People think I am bipolar because of it, but I am not ****ing bipolar.

 

[Panta]

I'm sorry to hear that, Alien. Wouldn't they still have treated you, if you went to the emergency room?

I'm not a doctor, but if it has been a year since that accident then you might need neurosurgery or extensive counseling.

Thank you for calming down. I appreciate it.

 

[Alien Vision]

I'm sorry to hear that, Alien. Wouldn't they still have treated you, if you went to the emergency room?

I'm not a doctor, but if it has been a year since that accident then you might need neurosurgery or extensive counseling.

Thank you for calming down. I appreciate it.

Well this is the part I was an idiot for. I hated doctors.. Lol. You know how everyone has somekind of strange tension towards an element in life? Mine was doctors. It has nothing to dow ith any conspiracy BS, or government BS. It's just a strange thing that overwhelms me when I have to go to the doctors.. :/ Your welcome.

And that is exactly what happened with the whole "ducks" thing.

Really? I was joking man! What you said insulted me, and was mocking my every attempt to retaliate. So what I said was fair. I thought it was cunning. I am sorry if that offended you. I really thought that **** was hilarious. I did read all of it though.

And was always nice to you in the forum games until you brought the user blogs into the forum games.. =\

I was trying to reason with you but you kept on being sarcastic, and ignoring my attempt. So I was like.. **** it. ''You are banned. Just banned. Yep. Banned.''

 

[Super_Sonic8677]

As I said just now... <.<; We're even right? Because in all fairness, since you thought that was hilarious, I thought putting me as Falcon and you as PT was also hilarious xD If you ever watched brawl taunts on youtube you would get the humor of it. ^^;; You should check it out sometime.

And I was avoiding the point in an attempt to keep the peace but it didn't work so then I just went with it.

 

[Alien Vision]

As I said just now... <.<; We're even right? Because in all fairness, since you thought that was hilarious, I thought putting me as Falcon and you as PT was also hilarious xD

And I was avoiding the point in an attempt to keep the peace but it didn't work so then I just went with it.

The pictures were funny. We are even. The words you said that insulted me as an overall human being is what really pissed me off. You shut down all of my options. Like I was and you were Ryu used the personal things I told him, and took it for granted during his argument. You don't think I am 18 and I don't have a job? Do you really think I want to ignore responsibility? No. I have a problem to deal with before I apply for something that will require my strength and a healthy mindset. Seriously, go to the end of that racist thread. Look at what Ryu said, and tell me that shouldn't hurt me. I've never felt so hurt in my life, how he directed that towards me by using PERSONAL information I told him.. How mature is that?

 

[Super_Sonic8677]

It wasn't but see the things was..it was like you were and I was and probably ryu felt that way too. Nothing we or frotaz were saying was getting through either. =\

I know what ryu said I was here when he said it. He's not in exactly the greatest shape right now himself. People do the best they can. I feel for ya but you know AV, it IS the internet afterall. How many of these people are you actually going to see?

Alien vision I didn't get my first real job till I turned 18 either. I mowed lawns and did stuff like that. You could do those kind of things ^^; and get a permit and or liscense if you don't already.

You've had this condition for a long time now AV. right? Since you didn't take care of it right away...you may need to face the possibility that this is who you are now and will be..it's unfortunate I mean it's not as bad in my case but in some ways but in others it is.

I have two bad knees and a damaged disc in my back. I probbaly will need replacements for both before I am 40 and the back thing I just will forever have to be careful with.

I can't just walk out and pick up anything and everything like I used to. I got to watch everything I do and will have to for the rest of my life. Whether I'm weight training or screwing around with friends or losing my mind at work lol. You might be able to adapt and you might not..but try..try to adapt to it. That's all I'm asking and all I've ever asked really since you and me started going back and forth on these boards. ^^;

 

[RyuReiatsu]

The pictures were funny. We are even. The words you said that insulted me as an overall human being is what really pissed me off. You shut down all of my options. Like I was and you were Ryu used the personal things I told him, and took it for granted during his argument. You don't think I am 18 and I don't have a job? Do you really think I want to ignore responsibility? No. I have a problem to deal with before I apply for something that will require my strength and a healthy mindset. Seriously, go to the end of that racist thread. Look at what Ryu said, and tell me that shouldn't hurt me. I've never felt so hurt in my life, how he directed that towards me by using PERSONAL information I told him.. How mature is that?

I said that I wasn't posting here anymore, but you're still talking about me. Let me start off by repeating it, I stepped out of line. I was wrong on many points and I admit it.

I was trying to help you out but you called me an ignorant moron and a fool for disagreeing with you, that pissed me off. I don't know if you've even noticed but you're been extremely rude with people. I was wrong on the personal information thing but I guess that's what pissed off people do, stupid stuff.

I'm thinking of quitting my job every single day. I feel stressed out and anxious although it is an easy job. I have hard time speaking to the other employees because they are all douchebags that talk behind my back. I also had stomach issues and urinary incontinence. I've only been socially apt for around 3 years in my life, and that's not now. Worked as a vendor, got pretty good at it. Now I barely talk to the customers, I guide them and that's it. I also cut ties with my friends due to unknown reasons. I know how hard it is to cope with being socially inept. Some people blamed me for lacking 'tenderness', as I can easily do blunt comments, expecting people not to react badly. But still, I've worked on knowing the boundaries of the do's and don'ts.

Don't act like you know me either. But there, I'm 18, pretty depressed and probably suicidal once again. Does that make me belittle others? No.


And I apologize for revealing your personal information. I'm not not asking you to 'forgive me' or anything, just saying.

I'm not gonna add anything, but just my 2 cents.

 

[Alien Vision]

It wasn't but see the things was..it was like you were and I was and probably ryu felt that way too. Nothing we were saying was getting through either. =\

I know what ryu said I was here when he said it. He's not in exactly the greatest shape right now himself. People do the best they can. I feel for ya but you know AV, it IS the internet afterall. How many of these people are you actually going to see?

Alien vision I didn't get my first real job till I turned 18 either. I mowed lawns and did stuff like that. You could do those kind of things ^^; and get a permit and or liscense if you don't already.

You've had this condition for a long time now AV. right? Since you didn't take care of it right away...you may need to face the possibility that this is who you are now and will be..it's unfortunate I mean it's not as bad in my case but in some ways but in others it is.

I have two bad knees and a damaged disc in my back. I probbaly will need replacements for both before I am 40 and the back thing I just will forever have to be careful with.

I can't just walk out and pick up anything and everything like I used to. I got to watch everything I do and will have to for the rest of my life. Whether I'm weight training or screwing around with friends or losing my mind at work lol. You might be able to adapt and you might not..but try..try to adapt to it. That's all I'm asking and all I've ever asked really since you and me started going back and forth on these boards. ^^;

I disagreed with what Frotaz, and you said. I was entitled to my opinion. I am a bit on the burly side mentally, so I tend to appear arrogant, but I am not. Lol. I mean, the first thing Frotaz did was shut down the very belief I love. which is psychology, with the same way he said you can't do. Which is to prove as fact. Which he couldn't. Psychology has it's moments, and it's own amount of interesting data. It's not exactly FULL evidence, but we know the brain is capable of much more already, so why do we say psychology is a load of **** like Frotaz implied? That already catapulted me away from respecting him, which will explain why I always thought he was attacking me. Which you didn't see. Then you jumped in like another authority and kept pointing at me like I am the monster because you never gave me a chance to explain how I debate. I am a bit on a lower level than Battlecow, with a tad more respect towards people. Ignorance can exist in small aspects of what we portray. I never called him stupid. I said ignorant. I never said he was an ******* snail boob monkey. XD I said he was ignorant, and other adjectives that further elaborated the schism between me and him. That is what I was trying to explain.

I have a bad back too actually. I tried to lift the bleachers when I was 10. (Before I worked out..) I felt like

 

[¯\_S.(ツ).L.I.D._/¯]

Given Alien Vision's mental health, I have a feeling this is why he made the post. He is probably more prone to outlandish behavior and irascibility due to no one understanding him or his train of thought because of his amnesia. At least now I can look at him in a different light as a person struggling to express their opinions, yet incapable of doing so due to mental restraints.

Stay strong, Alien.

I like this kid.

 

[Alien Vision]

I like this kid.

*Sniff* I do too.. I do too..man *Sniff* *Sniff*

Ryu​

I guess that's what pissed off people do, stupid stuff.

You said it yourself. I said what I said because I was pissed. You join Frotaz, and Sonic against me. I was cornered when I was innocent. I did what every animal would do and lash out at you. I still never ''directed'' purely engraved insults towards you. I called out your actions. I disagreed with it at a high level, so what? What you did would never compare to what I did. This is the point, and this is why I want to have nothing to do with you. You may be stressed, and have **** going in your life. I do too, but you don't see me eating away at somebody every chance I get about what I think who they are, because of how I intepreted them ''psychologically''. I only use indirect insults during heavy debates to give the debate life. I see it as a mental game of tug-o-war. All is good in the end of our argument, discussion. I do it all the time with people on MSN. They love it, and when they get a chance to call me ignorant I either accept it, or I retaliate back. It's like mental adrenaline. It's psyching yourself to focus on that very debate. I see nothing wrong with my way of debating if I don't belittle those around me, or corner them directly with insults that hurts them as a character rather than what they are doing at that very moment during a debate.

 

[Super_Sonic8677]

I'd rather be stupid than ignorant myself. But that's just me ^^;;

Well if you insist on debating that way I will simply just refrain from debating with you. Because aside from debating we seem to be able to have a perfectly civil conversation as we are having one right now.

And I +1 Panta being awesome xD

 

[Alien Vision]

I'd rather be stupid than ignorant myself. But that's just me ^^;;

Well if you insist on debating that way I will simply just refrain from debating with you. Because aside from debating we seem to be able to have a perfectly civil conversation as we are having one right now.

And I +1 Panta being awesome xD

Ignorance means you are unaware of something..

Stupid is not what you want to be.. I don't get why you want to be stupid. I rather be ignorant about something, than stupid.

 

[Super_Sonic8677]

Ignorance is being dumb about something and refusing to learn. Ignor-ant
Most people over the age of 60 are ignorant when it comes to electronic devices.

Stupid just means you need to learn, that's all.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. ^^;