Friends wants to get better but never wants me to point out flaws

[TheRocan64]

I've been playing Smash since 64 (but skipped Melee growing up since no GC; have played since and love Project M).

My friends want to get better but refuses to hear what they're doing wrong (along with the right, of course). One friend firmly believes that I should only give positive feedback and because he's near they're level and I'm "that guy who always wins", they listen to him more and they never want to play with me.

Any advice or suggestions so I can teach them better or does this sound like a lost cause?

 

[NurpNurp]

I'm no pro, but this is sounding awfully lost cause-y to me, unfortunately. unless you can convince him to drop the negativity towards critique of his play style he's likely never going to improve. It's a shame, but if he refuses to receive the criticism he's not going to polish areas he'd need to fix

 

[Technourgos]

You could try addressing their flaws and affirm their strengths. I have a friend who said he'd be fine with receiving advice, but when my brother tried to give advice, my friend didn't want to hear it. Perhaps he was upset for losing often. On the day Banjo & Kazooie was released, I was hanging out with him. I wasn't playing, so my friend went on Quickplay. He was using Richter and I acknowledged what he did correctly and let him know what to try instead. When he used B&K, I offered advice, such as how n-air to jab can help get in extra damage. I saw B&K's down special and suggested using it as an edge-guarding option. I even suggested short hop b-air for safe pokes on shields. My friend wasn't annoyed and in fact he was quite receptive to my advice and suggestions. I pointed out how he even got B&K in first place in Quickplay when Simon was originally first. If your friends are still not receptive, there's nothing you can do about it.

Oh, I didn't notice the part where you mentioned that they don't even want to know what they're doing correctly. I only noticed you mentioning one friend who thinks you should only offer positive feedback.

 

[JiggyNinja]

"Please help me, but don't actually give me any help".

The first step to improving is accepting how much you suck. Anyone that can't do that it not really going to improve.

 

[Mogisthelioma]

Tell your friends straight up that if they want to get better at Smash they need to accept any and all advice, and that includes pointing out and correcting flaws. Let them know that they're never going to fix their mistakes if someone doesn't tell them what they're doing wrong and how they can fix that. If your friends continue to refuse advice, let the fact that you're winning be the evidence that they need advice--but don't say that last bit to them, let them figure it out themselves.

 

[Technourgos]

"Please help me, but don't actually give me any help".

The first step to improving is accepting how much you suck. Anyone that can't do that it not really going to improve.

A better phrase is "not as skilled" or "not where you'd like to be". When people hear a judgment like, "You suck", it's going to have a more negative impact. The other two phrases I mentioned are likely to be useful and may encourage one to accept a growth mindset. It's telling them that they have room for improvement and that no matter how much they improve, developing skills and strategies is a process.

 

[Xelrog]

If he doesn't want your help he doesn't want your help. Leave him alone and continue beating his ***.

 

[Orlando BCN]

>Wants to get better
>Doesn’t want their flaws pointed out

So...they want to become the best average player?

 

[Mogisthelioma]

>Wants to get better
>Doesn’t want their flaws pointed out

So...they want to become the best average player?

Something tells me that could be a good anime trope. Like, "I want to be the best! But not THE best, just good enough so (insert romantic interest) can notice me!"

 

[Xelrog]

I don't know if this applies to this particular friend, but I personally hate when people give me unsolicited advice. Not only does it come off as very condescending, but the fun of Smash for me, and improving thereat, is figuring out what I'm doing wrong myself. My feeling of reward comes from my own breakthroughs being my own. Being told outright feels like being told the solution to a Zelda dungeon. By doing so, you have taken the fun of discovery and achievement away from me, the player.

If I want advice I'll ask for it. And I always ask permission before offering someone worse than me advice. That's just respect, I think.