GwJ
Smash Hero
Link to original post: [drupal=5443]Finally told my mother of my anxiety[/drupal]
I don't like life-story blogs so bear with me, it'll suck as much reading it as it is writing it if this thing ends up being a bit long (which I hope won't and don't think it will be).
So basically, I have anxiety problems, or at least I think the word for it is anxiety. I usually just describe it as worrying since I don't like saying the wrong word, but I'll just say anxiety for the purpose of consistency.
But yeah, I worrying during all waking hours. The only time I'm not worrying is when I'm listening to my music in my car and when I'm overly-engrossed in a video game. Aside from that, I have anxiety all the time. I also have motivation issues. It may be ADD, it may not be; I'm not too learned on the whole labeling and definitions of said labels so I don't want to define myself incorrectly. The way I see it, it's a cycle of not being able to focus or have motivation, procrastination, then anxiety. To describe this in a way that happens to myself frequently:
Say I have a paper due in two weeks. I'll think about writing the paper for a few days; I won't be able to sit down and do it. I'll worry about it every day until the day prior comes up. I'll sit down and try and do it. I'll do the math in my head and wait until I have the least possible time to do it. Then I might do it if my estimation was accurate. Meanwhile, I'm stressed to the max worrying about it 24/7 up until it's done. Once I'm done, I'll worry about something else.
It literally never stops. Even when I have nothing to worry about, I worry anyway. I know most of this is pretty typical of people and especially the kind of people you find on gaming websites, so no need to explain that below; I already know what you're going to say. I'm not complaining about a lack of motivation or procrastination. I'm complaining about my anxiety.
I finally got around to explaining this to my mother after she brought up a boy from school (she works at a daycare) who had some personality "oddities" so I was able to transfer into what I have been trying to say for so long. I explained my situation (interrupting her when she tried to simplify it to just "you have to work harder" and telling her to stop) and I basically told her that while I do not want to take any meds that may or may not alter the way my personality is, if it gets me through college I'll do it.
So, I'm assuming I'll be going to see some kind of Psychologist/Psychiatrist/Whoknowswhat sometime soon and I hope this works out well.
I don't like life-story blogs so bear with me, it'll suck as much reading it as it is writing it if this thing ends up being a bit long (which I hope won't and don't think it will be).
So basically, I have anxiety problems, or at least I think the word for it is anxiety. I usually just describe it as worrying since I don't like saying the wrong word, but I'll just say anxiety for the purpose of consistency.
But yeah, I worrying during all waking hours. The only time I'm not worrying is when I'm listening to my music in my car and when I'm overly-engrossed in a video game. Aside from that, I have anxiety all the time. I also have motivation issues. It may be ADD, it may not be; I'm not too learned on the whole labeling and definitions of said labels so I don't want to define myself incorrectly. The way I see it, it's a cycle of not being able to focus or have motivation, procrastination, then anxiety. To describe this in a way that happens to myself frequently:
Say I have a paper due in two weeks. I'll think about writing the paper for a few days; I won't be able to sit down and do it. I'll worry about it every day until the day prior comes up. I'll sit down and try and do it. I'll do the math in my head and wait until I have the least possible time to do it. Then I might do it if my estimation was accurate. Meanwhile, I'm stressed to the max worrying about it 24/7 up until it's done. Once I'm done, I'll worry about something else.
It literally never stops. Even when I have nothing to worry about, I worry anyway. I know most of this is pretty typical of people and especially the kind of people you find on gaming websites, so no need to explain that below; I already know what you're going to say. I'm not complaining about a lack of motivation or procrastination. I'm complaining about my anxiety.
I finally got around to explaining this to my mother after she brought up a boy from school (she works at a daycare) who had some personality "oddities" so I was able to transfer into what I have been trying to say for so long. I explained my situation (interrupting her when she tried to simplify it to just "you have to work harder" and telling her to stop) and I basically told her that while I do not want to take any meds that may or may not alter the way my personality is, if it gets me through college I'll do it.
So, I'm assuming I'll be going to see some kind of Psychologist/Psychiatrist/Whoknowswhat sometime soon and I hope this works out well.
