Can't think of a title

[GwJ]

Link to original post: [drupal=2417]Can't think of a title[/drupal]



I don't know what to write about, but since I told TRDS I WOULD write something, I am going to. To be honest, I don't like how I'm living. I don't like my mental/emotional standing, I don't necessarily like who I'm living either. As for my mental standing, I'm intelligent. That's fine and all, but that's not the issue. The issue my self-esteem. I can't quite remember WHY I have low self-esteem, but it had to do with moving to Pennsylvania from New Jersey. Back in NJ, I knew all my neighbors, and we would freely walk into each other's houses if we wanted to talk to them or wanted some food or a football. I was super skinny and in shape. Maybe I was ignorant to it the whole time, but apparently my house was haunted. My sister and both parents saw and heard stuff, yet I can't remember a thing. So, we move to Pennsylvania to get in the Parkland school district. What could go wrong? Parkland is one of the best school districts in PA; it's got great academics, good sport systems, and huge funding. We moved into a neighborhood that consisted of seniors and college kids. There were two kids my age in the entire neighborhood that I knew of: a kid named Sam (wrestler) and a kid name Sean (I dunno what he did) and I didn't really talk or hang out with either of them. So apparently, people in PA are taller than those in NJ (or at least form where I was from), so it was a big shock that I went from one of the tallest kids to one of the shortest. Such a shock that it literally damaged my self-esteem. I didn't bother with sports because I was too short, and I gained weight from not staying active. Now I was a pudgy short kid.

Now comes the emotional part. I'm not goth, emo, whatever. I don't have a clique or something to identify by. You can't look at me and determine what I'm like. If you saw me, you wouldn't guess that I was depressed, but it is what I am. I was suicidal at one point and I really want to leave my house. You guys call it "running away". Now, I WOULD do that, but it would ruin my future. I'd have no where to go, I'd flunk out of school, lose my friends, never get a job, and live in a box. I don't really know why I'm depressed, but I am and it truly sucks.

My mom is freaky. Anyone that has met her would probably agree. She's impatient and has the need to always yell. In fact, I've grown to hate her voice. It's sad, but true. I don't invite friends over, because I know the day will end with my friends going like "WTF...??" when they meet my mom.

I may have forgotten stuff and I'm sick with a really bad headache, so I'm done writing for now.

 

[RyuReiatsu]

Well, hey...
Being depressed doesn't really require any reason. I am depressed often too... And have given up on trying to help myself for I don't know what reason. (Quite stupid). I'd say, go for counseling. It could actually help you a lot. Plus you could tell them about moving, your family and etc.

I won't say too much, as there are much better suited people over here to give you advices (I'm a failure)... So, hm...

I hope everything gets better. I know how it is, as I'm pretty much the same.
People don't know that I'm depressed and stuff. Good luck and help yourself to the max.

 

[Indigo Jeans]

...Now see here Jumpman m'boyoh: You're a really awesome person. No lies, no johns, trufax, meatriding not intended. You always make me lol when you post in the Social, you're a really intelligent poster, and you're great at Brawl. You've always been really nice and helpful to me too. And from the little I've seen from some of your pics(a little bit of the torso and up), you don't seem pudgy at all. You're a really cool dude. Remember that time when you VMed me saying to post in the Social so you would get your 1000th post? Good times..... But seriously, don't have low self-esteem. You're a really chill guy, you're nice, etc.

Now, if what's getting you down is your mother and/or the place you currently live at, well, there are two options. You could try to adapt to the situations, and find a good way to deal with them, or you could just accept them. Trust me, my mom sometimes weirds out my friends too. And I miss where I came from. I moved here to NoVa from El Paso, Texas. Really nice city. Perfect weather for me(hot and dry), and I knew everybody really well. We had lived there for about eight years. Then the Army transffered my dad. I had to leave behind all my friends. I had really pessimistic thoughts, and went into a freaky kind of depression, where I would be depressed, but lived my last days there to the fullest. Lemme tell you, it hasn't been easy for me. I had to move here and start eighth grade here. That was pretty trying. I made great friends, then I had to leave them too, as I headed off to my dream highschool. But I've made tons of new friends here, sophomores, juniors, etc.

So, what I'm trying to get at is this: there'll always be some good in change, and you should strive to find it. For example, didn't you meet Cam, Fishy, and Lawz here? That's something great. You've found guys yourage that share a common interest with you. So try to make the best of life, my friend.

 

[GwJ]

I actually met Cam and Fishy IRL from computer club at school, but didn't really hang with them. Then I found out they like smash and I'm like, "lol hey".

About the self-esteem thing, I have good self-esteem when I'm here. By when I'm here, I mean when I'm on the forums here, at a tourney, or hanging with someone who plays smash. The reason is that I love the community here and they're the only ones that don't knock me down (figuratively) and that's why I continue to play smash. I could go out and play a better game like Blazblu, but I don't want to. I don't want to because I love you all.

 

[Indigo Jeans]

Well, yeah, but I meant here as in there as in in PA. XD But that's cool.

Well, we're all really nice you know, and we love you too. Some of us full homo*coughSudaicoughcough;D*, and some of us like bros. And I don't see why people would put you down IRL. I mean, that's just ******** of them. Is it for like, no reason? Do you go up to a chick and say "Hey there. ....I once got my pants stuck on my bike for an hour"

Spoiler

or something not mean like that

and they just diss you? Because if so, then that's just wrong. Hey man, it's their loss.