Breathe

[Firus]

Link to original post: [drupal=1197]Breathe[/drupal]

Lately…no, that’s inaccurate. For the past 6 months or so, I’ve felt completely stressed out. Whether it be temporary drama, ongoing drama, or drama a long way away, it’s all been bugging me.

I don’t even know what’s happened to me, really. A year ago I was a great money-saver, I was a Nintendo fanboy, I would’ve gotten down on the ground and worshipped Brawl if need be, and I sat down and did what I needed to do without procrastination, without hesitation, and without even thinking of doing anything else before I did what had to be done. Now I’ve blown a bunch of my money in a short amount of time, I’m angry at Nintendo (and have been for almost 10 months or so now), I hate Brawl and love Melee, and I procrastinate like there’s a tomorrow I really just want to put off.

I can’t count the number of times one of my friends has said, in response to a statement of mine, “If you had heard yourself saying that a year ago, you would’ve killed yourself.” He’s right. If a year ago I knew that I had thrown Brawl by the side and hated it, I would’ve wanted to invent a time machine just to travel forward and strangle myself. If you took me now and compared me with myself from a year ago, you would notice that my basic interests are the same but my way of life is actually a lot different, and my life has actually barely changed in the past year as far as my setting.

That only adds to my stress. I’m just not used to procrastinating since I didn’t start it until recently. So I really screw myself up when I do it. After multiple stressful and horrible fiascos recently, you would think I’d have gotten my act together. I’ve gotten suggestions from many, many people. I’ve tried implementing those suggestions into my life, and it simply doesn’t work. I cannot bring myself to stop it, even though I know so well that I would improve everything if I could just get it together already.

Even without procrastination, I feel…trapped. It feels like there’s a constant cycle of this thing, and that thing, and the other thing to do, and I just don’t have enough time to do it. I spend what little free time I have trying to catch up on the things I really want to do. Six months later I still have things I was trying to catch up on unfinished. I was talking to my friends earlier and one of them randomly threw in that I need to beat the second Phoenix Wright game – which I do, yet another thing on my never-ending “To Do” list. In response, I told him that I would when I had a chance to breathe. That stuck with me, because I truly feel like I can’t breathe. I have free time one moment, the next I blink and I’m suddenly fidgeting and ready to scream because I feel so stressed out. Two weeks ago something long-term was finally wrapping up and I was sure I would feel 100x better with it gone. It went away, and it was underwhelming, completely. It felt sort of…”So what?” Now I’ve got another thing of the same nature later this week and I would think I’d end up feeling 100x better, but now I’m thinking maybe the same thing will happen.

I don’t even remember when it was or under which circumstances it was, but a while ago I was listening to my music and the song “Breathe” by Anberlin came on. Thinking whether or not I wanted to listen to the song, I immediately in my head ran through the song in my head and remembered the chorus…

I can finally breathe,
Suddenly alive.
I can finally move,
The world feels revived.​

I thought to myself how it felt the opposite to me at the moment, and I remember wanting to reach a break where I could finally breathe, finally relax, finally just…sit without a care in the world. I’m still waiting for it…but right now, I just can’t breathe.

Sorry for this slightly unorganized rant...thanks to anyone who took the time to read it.

 

[:mad:]

Actually, it was a good read. This blog was a good idea because it helped you calm down. Some times you just need to assess the situation

And you know, about 4 weeks ago, I would actually be stupid and defend Brawl. Now, I absolutely hate it. I'm going back to Falco, Falcon, and Ness in Melee.
I get worked up too, but when it does happen, I usually listen to a calm song and finish some work. If that doesn't help, playing Super Mario 64 always makes me feel a little better.

I hope you feel better in the future, man.

 

[Firus]

Actually, it was a good read. This blog was a good idea because it helped you calm down. Some times you just need to assess the situation

And you know, about 4 weeks ago, I would actually be stupid and defend Brawl. Now, I absolutely hate it. I'm going back to Falco, Falcon, and Ness in Melee.
I get worked up too, but when it does happen, I usually listen to a calm song and finish some work. If that doesn't help, playing Super Mario 64 always makes me feel a little better.

I hope you feel better in the future, man.

Thanks. You're right, every so often I just have to go off about this or it'll consume me. Not to say everything is cured, but...it certainly helped.

Thanks for your kind wishes as well, that in and of itself made me feel a little better.

 

[:mad:]

Thanks. You're right, every so often I just have to go off about this or it'll consume me. Not to say everything is cured, but...it certainly helped.

Thanks for your kind wishes as well, that in and of itself made me feel a little better.

Almost any genius therapist will tell you to not bottle things up. Yeah, it's only temporary comfort, but it can all be solved soon enough. You just have to have a positive attitude about it.

No problem, I love trying to help out in any way I can. Brawl still sucks, if it's any consolation.

 

[kr3wman]

He punches the frog and the rock explodes leaving the frog unscathed. Don't ask me how.

Spoiler

I just had to post this.

On topic, I take life in a very relax and calm way, and never ask of myself 'Should I have/Could I have/If I had' Thinking of all those possibilities make my head hurt. Once I was almost crushed between a starting truck and a parked one and sometimes I go back on it and say to myself 'I could have died there' but I discard the thought seeing it's better without it. Or ask myself where would I have been if Allende's regime hadn't been overthrown, or the Britain didn't capture Quebec in 15 minutes in 1760, etc etc.

D:

 

[Firus]

Almost any genius therapist will tell you to not bottle things up. Yeah, it's only temporary comfort, but it can all be solved soon enough. You just have to have a positive attitude about it.

No problem, I love trying to help out in any way I can. Brawl still sucks, if it's any consolation.

Haha, yes, Brawl does. Thanks, man. I appreciate it.

 

[mzink*]

Try to put Brawl out of your mind instead of hating it. I know its hard when you are on a smash forum where people are talking about it left and right, but just try not to pay attention to it, don't give it second thought. Feeling frustrated and hating something leaves you drained, it would be better to just put Brawl from your mind. Accept the fact that Nintendo disappointed you and push it out of your system.

As for the rest of the stuff, I feel you, it sucks when you get into a rut like that. Hopefully your hectic business with worrying about drama and money and getting things done will have a break in it at some point so you'll get a chance to breathe again for a minute. Keep your spirits up, or find some sort of simple pleasure that just makes you feel happy. Mine is just talking to my best friend for a few minutes. Whenever I do that it seems like all the hectic stressful stuff doesn't really phase me. Hope you are able to feel relaxed soon man.

 

[ndayday]

Procrastination is so dumb, yet I do it so much. There's always the nagging feeling you have to do something, and you know you need to but you just don't do it. What I have simplified it down to is that I simply have no motivation to get things done. A paper I have to do? Just wait it out until the last moment and then do it. Chores that have to be done? Ignore them and dodge them. Call it lazy or whatever, but that's how I feel about it.

Maybe if you get something to motivate yourself with, then you can find that doing the actual boring thing is worth it. It seems to work in my head, but it's hard for me to find things to motivate myself with. Besides that, I know how it feels to be completely stressed out and feel as though you're drowning.

Good luck, and thanks for a good blog/read Firus.

 

[Firus]

Try to put Brawl out of your mind instead of hating it. I know its hard when you are on a smash forum where people are talking about it left and right, but just try not to pay attention to it, don't give it second thought. Feeling frustrated and hating something leaves you drained, it would be better to just put Brawl from your mind. Accept the fact that Nintendo disappointed you and push it out of your system.

Well yeah, that mostly has happened. I brought it up more to supplement how much I've changed over the past year.

As for the rest of the stuff, I feel you, it sucks when you get into a rut like that. Hopefully your hectic business with worrying about drama and money and getting things done will have a break in it at some point so you'll get a chance to breathe again for a minute. Keep your spirits up, or find some sort of simple pleasure that just makes you feel happy. Mine is just talking to my best friend for a few minutes. Whenever I do that it seems like all the hectic stressful stuff doesn't really phase me. Hope you are able to feel relaxed soon man.

Yeah, I hope so. Thanks.

Procrastination is so dumb, yet I do it so much. There's always the nagging feeling you have to do something, and you know you need to but you just don't do it. What I have simplified it down to is that I simply have no motivation to get things done. A paper I have to do? Just wait it out until the last moment and then do it. Chores that have to be done? Ignore them and dodge them. Call it lazy or whatever, but that's how I feel about it.

Maybe if you get something to motivate yourself with, then you can find that doing the actual boring thing is worth it. It seems to work in my head, but it's hard for me to find things to motivate myself with. Besides that, I know how it feels to be completely stressed out and feel as though you're drowning.

Good luck, and thanks for a good blog/read Firus.

I definitely need something to motivate me...but I don't know what it is. Not wanting to kill myself due to being too tired to think, being able to relax, and having work behind me would seem to be sufficient motivation, but it's not for some reason. I need something to get me back on track.

Thanks, and glad you enjoyed the blog. I'm glad it wasn't just a poorly thrown-together blog.

 

[Ishiey]

Have you tried a near-death experience?

No, seriously though. Maybe it's not so much procrastination as deluding yourself into thinking that you care about some things a lot more than you truly do. Some things are really not worth the trouble, or so I've found, and it's just the society you're in that makes you feel it is. Take some time, step back, and observe your world. See what really matters, and then try to go against the messages telling you otherwise by actually pursuing it. Easier said than done, but idk, hopefully this helped. Good luck.

 

[Firus]

Have you tried a near-death experience?

No, seriously though. Maybe it's not so much procrastination as deluding yourself into thinking that you care about some things a lot more than you truly do. Some things are really not worth the trouble, or so I've found, and it's just the society you're in that makes you feel it is. Take some time, step back, and observe your world. See what really matters, and then try to go against the messages telling you otherwise by actually pursuing it. Easier said than done, but idk, hopefully this helped. Good luck.

Hm, what exactly do you mean? Like, what are you referring to when you talk about the things I'm deluding myself into thinking are important; the things I want to do or the things I'm putting off? Your wording just confused me a little bit.

 

[Ishiey]

Well, don't take anything I say too seriously, because from my perspective the whole world is in denial. But, I meant that you're giving some things more importance than you truly feel you should, which just leads to stress when you don't do it because in reality it isn't very meaningful to you. I can't come up with a good example and then write it out, I'm not much for expressing thought in writing, but believe me I tried. Sorta like, for example the bad habits. You see them as bad because of what you're used to seeing, but they aren't really bad based on what you truly feel. Idk, PM me if you want me to get a good example to you, but idk how long that would take.

Honestly though, putting yourself in a scenario where you can determine what is of true importance is really helpful, even if the scenario might be a mess. I tried this out, ****ed up a lot of stuff, but I found out what I had to about myself in the end, which (in the long run) is the most important, I guess.

Good luck, once again.

 

[Firus]

In terms of the work I'm procrastinating over, I definitely don't really think it's important. But other things that I haven't getting done...I really think I do want to do.

For example, I've been meaning to start a sprite comic since...oh, at least September now. I started one years ago, but I dropped it after I realized it wasn't really that good and tried starting another which I didn't really think was going anywhere either. I've come up with a sort of idea, but it's still not really perfected and I either don't have time, or just forget altogether, to flesh it out some more. Either that or I give it a shot and I just draw a total blank. I guess I'm sort of waiting for some magical revelation of "That's what I can do!" I can't decide on just one franchise's characters/settings to use either, especially since I'm so inconsistent on my interests...now I may feel like doing a Pokemon sprite comic, and tomorrow I may say, "Wait, now I want to make it Metroid...", which is why my first comic flopped in the first place. So recently I looked back at my old comic to see if it was as bad as I thought it was and maybe so I could continue it rather than making a new one.

No. It was awful. I had to stop about halfway through the 95 strips I made because it just got so embarrassingly stupid.

So yeah, the large issue in cross-overs is always linking the two (or more, as it definitely will be in my case) worlds. I've written about three chapters of approximately five fanfics which are crossovers where I've done so many stupid and/or predictable things to get characters into the same realm including just letting them exist in the same world randomly. So that just makes it even worse.

I know I want to do one though, because every time I look at sprites I remember how much I love just having the ability to move and position the sprites and put together comics. It may seem odd, but I really enjoy doing it. But I want this comic to do well, and to be good, not something I put a lot of time and effort into just to realize it's crap and throw it away.

...But enough of a rant on that.

Thanks for the advice and the well-wishes. I hope things can clear up...

 

[Ishiey]

For the sprite comic... is it like, you have a ridiculously large cast because of all the crossing over? I've been reading sprite comics since I was six, and it's important to have variety in your cast, but still keep it compact enough so that the reader doesn't completely overflow from information (especially at the beginning). For crossing them over, who says you need an excuse? There are plenty of sprite comics that I've seen with random crossing over and no explanation, so maybe if you just let it flow it'll work out.

If you have other friends that like to make comics of any sort, try hosting a site together and getting into the comic community, where other people with more experience can help you out, maybe.

 

[bobson]

Obviously you should start playing Brawl to reverse the process.

And don't get me started on a sprite comic rant.