VK-137
Smash Apprentice
I'm free Friday and maybe Wednesday and Thursday afternoons for some practice. Also, someone needs to import the Ike model over ICs :D
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She's so hot.Katzen your harsh man, i was just trying to show/teach techno... you went and sicked Stephanie on him, she has no remorse and will never forgive him now. and the fact that she's in here puts all of our lives in danger.
I bet it's Dave.I have someone's large silver watch, I think it's a 'Nixon'.
That gave me a good laugh ZiaTo Those Attending the March 8th "Mario Pro" Tournament,
If you haven't already inferred the fact, you may call me Katzenjammer, Katzen, or Katz (whichever you prefer). I am a resident of Canberra, Brawl Player and past psuedo-competitor in the last Canberra tournament (Shaya, you'll remember me as that guy who death-stared at you until you stopped talking).
As many of you are aware, there is a tournament being hosted by Luke Atyeo in Canberra. Concerning this, there have been a number of references in earlier threads to the as-of-yet not fully explained "Canberra Rules" that will be in effect and enforced for the duration of the competition. As a co-developer of the Canberra Rules (refered to hereafter as "The Rules") and friend of Luke (i.e. the host of the event, in case you had missed that bit), I offered to post a piece explaining the rules and their implications for the benefit of you, the Competitors (refered to hereafter as "randies").
As such, here are The Rules (unabridged, and non-negotiable):
Rule #1: Any randies who use Meta-Knight during any tournament match (warm-ups excluded) will recieve a punch to the face delivered by Rein, or a Canberran competitor in lieu of him. If multiple Canberran parties are present, the person who delivers the punch will be decided randomly (dice roll). This punch may be delivered on the spot, without warning, from the instant Meta-Knight is selected. It may also be reserved and delivered at any time during the match in which Meta-Knight is used.
Match results that may have been altered by the administration of the punch are to be considered fair and valid outcomes. Subsequent knock-outs (tournament or otherwise) are the responsibility of the randie(s) using Meta-Knight. It is recommended that "Falcon Punch!" is yelled upon the administration of the punch for added effect.
Any punches dodged, parried, blocked or missed are to be re-attempted. Glancing hits are only to be re-attempted if the randie appears to be making a facial expression that does not suggest pain, as judged by the randie's opponent.
-------------------------------CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED----------------------------------------
Rule #2: The practice of ledge-hogging (occupying a ledge before your opponent in order to stop him from recovering) is frowned upon. It is accepted that it may only be used by randies using Samus, as there is really no other hope for her. Any randies not using Samus who employ ledge-hogging during a tournament match (warm-ups excluded) is assumed to be a heterosexual woman who has come to the competition in order to impress the other randies into sleeping with her. Comments about her appearance, sexuality, and suggestions of an obscene nature are obligatory.
Rule #3: Marth is actually a woman. Any randie(s) who uses Marth in a tournament match (warm-ups excluded) are assumed to be a deluded, permiscuous 29-year-old woman desperately trying to convince herself that she's still young and attractive. Comments about her appearance, sexuality, and queries about recent STD and pregnancy tests are obligatory.
Rule #4: Chain-throws and infinites are considered a form of masturbation. It is assumed that any randies using chain-throws or infinites have the uncontrollable urge to masturbate. Public masturbation is both illegal and disgusting; as such, chain-throws and infinites are banned. Using chain-throws or infinites will result in penalties.
Rule #5: Snake is overpowered. Winning with Snake is like winning at a pie-eating contest: everyone hopes you choke. If you use Snake, it is assumed that you are loud, fat, have red hair, and cannot win any other way. Comments about weight, body odour, and fire-related erectile dysfunction are obligatory.
Rule #6: Randies using Mario or Luigi in a tournment match (warm-ups excluded) are assumed to be excellent players worthy of our respect. These randies are to be referred to collectively as "Mario Pros". Extra bonus points may be awarded to Mario/Luigi players at the discretion of the host (not likely).
Rule #7: Tie-breaker matches (not sudden death) are to be played using Gannondorf only. The only attack permissible in this case is Gannondorf's stomp (Down+A while in air). Any other form of attack used in the match emasculates the user to the point of gender-transition. Comments concerning group sex and inter-species erotica are obligatory.
Rule #8: If any randie(s) should win a tournament having used only Captain Falcon, they are to be immediately awarded 10,000 Internets and infinite girlfriends.
The Rules are subject to change without notice. Any changes to the rules will be posted here. It is the responsibility of the randies to keep informed of updates and changes. Any queries can be posted in this thread, or directed to Luke Atyeo or Katzen. Suggestions and changes will be decided by the Canberran Smash community as a whole.
It is a condition of entry to the Canberra "Mario Pro" Tournament that you accept The Rules. By entering the Tournament you acknowledge that you have read and understand The Rules, will follow the Rules for the duration of the Tournament, and accept sole responsibility (civil and legal) for any injury sustained through the use of Meta-Knight.
There you have it; make sure you understand The Rules fully before making any stupid decisions.