WHO KILLED PICHU?! A Super Smash Brothers murder mystery!

[Epsilon]

Here are the rules: someone's fragged Pichu. What do we do? Be mad? Be glad? First, we gotta find the guy whodunit.

Take the following information and make it into something like a news story:

The murderer: Month of birth
-
January: Sonic
February: Link
March: Mario
April: Zelda
May: C. Falcon
June: Bowser
July: Samus
August: Fox
September: Pikachu
October: DK
November: Sakurai
December: PichuZOMGSUICIDE!!1!
---
The weapon: Last digit in day of birth
-
1. Smash Ball/Final Smash
2. Raygun
3. Nova Bomb
4. Bumper
5. Homerun Bat
6. Super Scope
7. Beam Sword
8. Black Hole glitch
9. Hammer
0. FALCON PUNCH!!
---
The scene: Last digit in minute of the previous post
-
1. New Pork City
2. Battlefiled
3. Green Hill Zone
4. Mute City
5. Pallet Town
6. Ridley
7. Rainbow Cruise
8. Pokemon Stadium
9. Corneria City
0. Super Flatworld

Here's an example, using my information and assuming the last post was at 4:21:

POKEMON MURDERED, SUSPECT AT LARGE
NEW PORK CITY: Today, the body of Pichu, pre-evolutionary form of Pikachu and character in the Pokemon franchise, was discovered in a motel room in New Pork City. The cause of death was ruled to be a charged shot from a Super Scope, after being shot multiple times with much smaller shots. Forensics identified fur found on the scene as belonging to Sonic T. Hedgehog of the Green Hill Zone. At the time, Hedgehog remains at large. If you see him, don not approach him. Contact your local bounty hunters immediately with any information that could lead to his aquisition.

 

[MysticKenji]

Today, Pichu's dead body was found at Ridley. He seemed to have various ownage related wounds. Naturally, Captain Falcon, was the first to be suspected. He was captured yesterday and confessed to killing Pichu using the FALCON PUNCH!!!

 

[GoldenGlove]

Ridley is an area in the original Metroid and Zero Mission. So yeah, it could be the scene of the crime.

 

[Eor]

play the game or get banned

 

[SmashWhammy]

Super Smash Brothers News Flash
Pichu, The Pre-evolved Form Of Pikachu, Was Found Dead At Ridley. All The Witnesses, Including A Whammy, Kirby, And Pikachu Could See Was A Blue Blur And A Nova Bomb, So The Suspect Is Delared To Be Sonic The Hedghog, Who Has Receintly Accepted Into The Smash Bros Club. Sonic Is Still At Large, And If You See Him, Don't Try To Chase Him. Except If You Are Speedy Gonzalis Or The Road Runner

 

[tafutureboy]

Today pichus body was found on the battlefield, no one knows why since he isnt very good at battleing. Susupects say a man in a blue suit that wouldnt shut up was "bird punching" him. Then a green flash of light came and pichu fell over. The man then fleed the crime scene fast. No further details at this time

 

[smashbot226]

Today, at seven thirty PM, in Pokemon Stadium, Pichu was horribly killed with reports claiming someone ran onto the field, then yelled FALCON PUNCH, and retreated.

Police are baffled.

 

[Hejiru]

Fow killed Pichu using his Final Smash in the Battlefield.

Police are baffled overjoyed

 

[Cinder]

Today, Pichu's dead body was found in Pallet Town. He seemed to have various stab wounds. Naturally, Donkey Kong was the first to be suspected. He was captured yesterday and confessed to killing Pichu using a beam sword

Sorry, I'm too lazy to write up a new one, so I edited MysticKenji's...it seemed rewritable...just see what's in bold...

Wait...Pichu's dead? ...yay...the killer gets a cookie *hands killer a cookie*

 

[Ice man]

A small pichu's corpse was found at ridley and the only evidence found was a smash ball and the smell of F-zero racer fuel.

 

[zigzaghakr]

This is zigzag-news

Hi i'm zigzaghakr today in new pork city a pichu smashed skeleton was found near Link's holiday home and after inspecting his house toad-officers found a bloody hammer with part of pichu's ear on it

News just in Link has been found guilty and has been arrested for 10 years

 

[Catguy]

Today, half of Pichu's body was found in Pallet Town. According to eyewitnesses, Sonic brutally cut the yellow fellow in half with a Beam Sword. The other half of Pichu, including his head, is missing. The police is after Sonic but they somehow can't catch him.

 

[RMR]

Today, Pichu head was Found, The Killer Was Fox, with a Beam Sword, The weapon was found In Ridley, and we mean Inside Ridley, Not the zone in Zero Mission. We belive that Pichu was Hit with a Beam Sword, then he proceed to Shine **** him.

As for Ridley, we belive that HE was trying to Eat Fox, but as anyone that fights fox, he was Shine ***** to Death.

Somehow Falcon was arrested because he had a Tigh Suit.

 

[Sandwich]

Today, Pichu, the pokemon, was found dead in a large ditch around Southern Corneria City. Forensics conclude that Pichu suffered from a fatal FALCON PUNCH and died almost instantly.
Kirby and Sonic report that Pikachu committed the crime. He was arrested and confessed, saying he wanted to kill the SOB for being such a horrid clone.
However, before he was convicted, the murderous Pokemon escaped from help of Jigglypuff. Pika is armed and dangerous. If seen, contact Ken, Mewtwo or Ash at 1800-111-111, extension 123.

 

[ArticulateT]

FALCON PWNED

today, the bloodied body of Pichu was found in the back alleys of Corneria city. it was found by a soldier of the Cornerian Army just after the crime was commited. the coldier identified the criminal as mercenary and Lylatt hero Fox McCloud. forensics further identified this with hair samples found at the scene. however, the soldier also identified an odd head gear attached to Fox's skull. This was to be taken into account that Andross, or any affiliates may have been involved. Forensics identified the cause of death was a Falcon Punch. this was identified as the earth shattering blow sent a shockwave which shattered every bone in the body. more on this in the comming weeks

 

[TheFifthMan]

Fox McCloud, former Cornerian Navy ace pilot, current Star Fox Team leader, and one of the "Top Tier" fighters in the Super Smash Brothers Melee fighting tournament circuit, was arrested for the brutal murder of Pichu, daughter of Ash Ketchum's Pikachu and Jigglypuff, all of whom are popular fighters in the SSBM Circuit. McCloud was arrested following a fight that first took place between Chief of Police and flamboyant SSBM fighter Captain Falcon and the Fighting Wire Frame Police of Pallet Town, then finished with a highly destructive match with Prince Marth of Altea, four year champion of the SSBM circuit.

McCloud was found standing over the deceased Pichu in the Ground and Rock area of Professor Oak's lab, dead due to ray-gun blasts, multiple reflector burns, and a fierce upward kick through the head. McCloud then stunned Oak using the same reflector to make his escape, which was met by Captain Falcon and ten members of the Fighting Wire Frame police of Pallet Town, who, with the exception of Falcon, were all killed within a second after multiple upward kicks. Falcon, while performing a desperate Falcon Punch, was knocked unconscious after Fox kicked him past the stage boundaries.

Fortunately, Prince Marth of Altea happened to be in Pallet Town following a talk and dinner with Masahiro Sakurai, organizer and owner of the SSBM Circuit. "Minna, miteite kure!" Marth said, before he engaged Fox in single combat. The combat lasted almost eight minutes and resulted in property damage totaling over eight million PokeDollars, as well as the destruction of at least 100 floats to be used in tomorrow's annual Poke Floats Parade. The combat ended as Marth spiked McCloud into the ground after several repeated aerial slashes. Samus, popular bounty hunter and yet another SSBM fighter, arrived to take McCloud into Galactic Police custody. Says Marth of the battle, "He was crazy, wasn't his gentle self. Something got into him. He didn't fight the way he fought me all those times in the circuit, and he almost killed me. Today, I have survived. I am lucky to have done so too." Doctor Mario, the SSBM Circuit doctor, found that both McCloud and Pichu had contracted Elitist disease, and Mario speculates that "the fight began when Pichu began calling McCloud's Reflector unfair."

Pikachu and Jigglypuff fondly remember their beloved daughter. "Pika, pika pi, pikachu. Chu..." Pikachu said, sobbing. Jigglypuff sang a song of mourning, which I briefly heard before falling asleep.

Pichu's funeral is to be held on Friday at the Final Destination cemetery. Slated to attend are Pichu's friends and family, Sakurai, and the fighters of the SSBM circuit.

 

[handsockpuppet]

I admit it, I did it! I guess I was just jealous of Pichu's awesomeness...

 

[Deleted member]

Pokemon Stadium, 7:38 pm

Several tourists were walking throught the stadium when they found the corpse of Pichu, spinning in the air. After calling some homicide investigaters, it was learned that Pichu was killed through a black hole glitch. Brown hair was the only other evidence, leading the killer's identity to be Donkey Kong. By the time you read this, the reporter will have commited suicide LOL!

 

[yellowgoblin]

Ridley, 7:45 p.m

SSBB Police entered the scene of the crime where Pichu was brutally murdered, with slight bumps on him. Witnesses claim that they saw Pichu getting bumped repeatedly by two bumpers. Pikachu confessed that he placed the two bumpers and killed Pichu. He was arrested and was banhammered.

Pichu's Funeral is tomorrow, 10:30 a.m.

RIP Pichu

 

[Yaya]

June 13th, Green Hill Zone.

Police we're stunned to find the dead body of Pichu, who had taken multiple shots to the head with a Super Scope, finger prints from the left behind Super Scope show that Bowser Koopa, king of the Koopas, is the murderer, police are currently on the look out for him, Team Star Fox has offered to assist.

 

[Supa_Sonic]

News Flash:
Pichu was murdered last night right on the streets of pallet town. The only evidence found at the scene of the crime was a patch of brown fur. The fur had traces of tirnup juice and pwn on it so the only thing that could have done it was an insane ape that was tired of sucking so bad that it harnessed the power of a black hole. DK was arrested last night and killed.