Useless Mechanics

[Substitution]

There's a button that trips the other person.
...Just think about it for a moment...

 

[DakotaBonez]

Ledge Taunts

 

[MasterLuigi]

Items have a chance of failing to work or backfiring and hurting the user.

 

[J1NG]

Matches in Smash 4 are interrupted by the game's characters spontaneously breaking out into interpretive dance. Players must control the character's dance movements through these sequences.

 

[Pazzo.]

Random taunting.

 

[D-idara]

Matches in Smash 4 are interrupted by the game's characters spontaneously breaking out into interpretive dance. Players must control the character's dance movements through these sequences.

I'd make a 'Samus breaks down and you've got to snap her out of her PTSD when she sees that Ridley is playable' joke but that's overused.

 

[ChikoLad]

Successfully achieving an upskirt shot of Rosalina initiates a cutscene where the character of the player who paused the game will find themselves flying into the cosmos beneath Rosalina's gown. This unlocks a new adventure, "The Cosmos Beneath Her Gown". In this single-player adventure mode, players will fight for Rosalina's affection, as you help her find her lost Lumas, and protect her from harm. In between bouts, cutscenes where Rosalina opens her heart to the player will happen, and many romantic touch-screen based mini-games will be initiated. The mini-games will be much like the Sega title "Project Rub" for the DS. They start off fairly cute and innocent, but as Rosalina's affections grow more and more intense, so will the mini-games, being harder to beat, and harder to play without feeling naughty and undignified. Multiple endings are possible, depending on how you treat Rosalina.

...Actually, I'd buy that **** in a heartbeat.

 

[CrossoverMan]

Successfully achieving an upskirt shot of Rosalina initiates a cutscene where the character of the player who paused the game will find themselves flying into the cosmos beneath Rosalina's gown. This unlocks a new adventure, "The Cosmos Beneath Her Gown". In this single-player adventure mode, players will fight for Rosalina's affection, as you help her find her lost Lumas, and protect her from harm. In between bouts, cutscenes where Rosalina opens her heart to the player will happen, and many romantic touch-screen based mini-games will be initiated. The mini-games will be much like the Sega title "Project Rub" for the DS. They start off fairly cute and innocent, but as Rosalina's affections grow more and more intense, so will the mini-games, being harder to beat, and harder to play without feeling naughty and undignified. Multiple endings are possible, depending on how you treat Rosalina.

...Actually, I'd buy that **** in a heartbeat.

Dude. I'm actually turned on by that ****. Nice work!

 

[J1NG]

Successfully achieving an upskirt shot of Rosalina initiates a cutscene where the character of the player who paused the game will find themselves flying into the cosmos beneath Rosalina's gown. This unlocks a new adventure, "The Cosmos Beneath Her Gown". In this single-player adventure mode, players will fight for Rosalina's affection, as you help her find her lost Lumas, and protect her from harm. In between bouts, cutscenes where Rosalina opens her heart to the player will happen, and many romantic touch-screen based mini-games will be initiated. The mini-games will be much like the Sega title "Project Rub" for the DS. They start off fairly cute and innocent, but as Rosalina's affections grow more and more intense, so will the mini-games, being harder to beat, and harder to play without feeling naughty and undignified. Multiple endings are possible, depending on how you treat Rosalina.

...Actually, I'd buy that **** in a heartbeat.

It's funny how looking up Rosalina's dress and winning her affection go hand in hand.

 

[ChikoLad]

It's because Rosalina considers it both an act of bravery (as most would fear great punishment for this, especially for doing so towards a being with great power like her) and feels flattered. As such a lonely person, it warms her heart that someone would be so curious. Thus, she gives them the opportunity to prove themselves worthy.

Also, she's just kinky in a classy kinda way. Sakurai also has a huge crush on her, and saw it fitting that a mode dedicated to her should exist.

Spoiler

My sincerest apologies to those of you reading this thread who are now utterly freaked out by my posts.

 

[Brickbuild101]

As you eat food on the floor your character gets fatter and fatter until they can hardly move and slowly die of heart failure.

Aren't there fanfics about that kinda stuff?

 

[CrossoverMan]

Aren't there fanfics about that kinda stuff?

Must be some messed up fanfics s'all I'm saying.

 

[Violenceman]

 

[Brickbuild101]

Must be some messed up fanfics s'all I'm saying.

That's not even the worst kind...

 

[Road Death Wheel]

The ability to change your character color in the character selection. Oh wait...

 

[RomanceDawn]

Every time you do a move the game asks you "are you sure?"

 

[J1NG]

Every time you do a move the game asks you "are you sure?"

Oh man, that one is too good. So simple...

 

[ChikoLad]

TODAY'S PIC OF THE DAY IS WAY TOO CONVENIENT CONSIDERING WHAT I POSTED HERE YESTERDAY I'M DONE

 

[Zonderion]

Spoiler

My sincerest apologies to those of you reading this thread who are now utterly freaked out by my posts.

Apology accepted.

 

[APC99]

Attempting to wavedash/l-cancel turns your character into Pichu with Ganondorf's speed.
You can instant KO Mega Man with sharp objects (Sheik's needles, a sword of some kind, Unira, Sonic or Bowser's backs)
Punching Mario during his Up Taunt will keep him in Mega Form for the rest of the battle.
Switching between Zelda and Sheik takes longer, since in between the transformation the game plays "Sweet Transvestite" from Rocky Horror Picture Show.
If a character has a Final Smash energy aura, any character standing near them will develop radiation poisoning and slowly build up damage.
Omochao pauses the game and announces "You performed the _____" every time Sonic performs an attack or dodge.
You can use the Wii U GamePad to plaster your face onto the character you're playing as.
You select a song as your favorite, and whenever it plays on a stage, you must play a DDR-styled minigame before you can begin the match.
If Porky returns as a boss fight, if the steak food item appears on stage, he'll instantly die.
Wario's fart power changes depending on what he eats before using the move. This means bombs are no longer hazardous to his Chomp.
Characters can bleed, and once they die, can leave a pool of blood which causes tripping.
Certain characters have the ability to walk backwards (Bowser, Meta Knight, Solid Snake, Michael Jackson)

Can I go home now?

 

[J1NG]

Attempting to wavedash/l-cancel turns your character into Pichu with Ganondorf's speed.
You can instant KO Mega Man with sharp objects (Sheik's needles, a sword of some kind, Unira, Sonic or Bowser's backs)
Punching Mario during his Up Taunt will keep him in Mega Form for the rest of the battle.
Switching between Zelda and Sheik takes longer, since in between the transformation the game plays "Sweet Transvestite" from Rocky Horror Picture Show.
If a character has a Final Smash energy aura, any character standing near them will develop radiation poisoning and slowly build up damage.
Omochao pauses the game and announces "You performed the _____" every time Sonic performs an attack or dodge.
You can use the Wii U GamePad to plaster your face onto the character you're playing as.
You select a song as your favorite, and whenever it plays on a stage, you must play a DDR-styled minigame before you can begin the match.
If Porky returns as a boss fight, if the steak food item appears on stage, he'll instantly die.
Wario's fart power changes depending on what he eats before using the move. This means bombs are no longer hazardous to his Chomp.
Characters can bleed, and once they die, can leave a pool of blood which causes tripping.
Certain characters have the ability to walk backwards (Bowser, Meta Knight, Solid Snake, Michael Jackson)

Can I go home now?

There's the door >
Excellent post, by the way

 

[Trick or Treat]

I have absolutely no idea why I started laughing when I saw this...

 

[Thor]

Resetti is activated on every stage when items are turned off. And his speech bubbles grow bigger as time passes.

 

[Khao]

Pressing the taunt button in mid-air lets you strike a cool/funny pose until you land.

Useless, but I'd love to have it. Especially if Dedede could do this in the air:

I mean, if there's no chance of recovery, why not go away with a bang?

 

[DontHate-]

Air dodging toward the ground causes your character to slide unnaturally across the floor.

pressing medium punch and medium kick in order to cancel/ instantaneously finish a previous move done... woops...no, thats streetfighter, wrong game i guess...

 

[DakotaBonez]

While waiting for other player's to select their characters, press L to play your character's battlecry.
Example: Captain Falcon: "YES!" Mario: " WAHOO!"

 

[J1NG]

While waiting for other player's to select their characters, press L to play your character's battlecry.
Example: Captain Falcon: "YES!" Mario: " WAHOO!"

Or Luigi: "Aw, boo!"

 

[D-idara]

You can instant KO Mega Man with sharp objects (Sheik's needles, a sword of some kind, Unira, Sonic or Bowser's backs)

This should be an Event Match...

While waiting for other player's to select their characters, press L to play your character's battlecry.
Example: Captain Falcon: "YES!" Mario: " WAHOO!"

That would actually be pretty awesome, like the horns on Mario Kart.