URGH! Thwomp crushes the competition!

[Llort A. Ton]

For the past several years, Smash fans have had an itch for a under-represented category of characters. Weve needed far more villains, and far more heavyweights to be put into the game. Fans have decided that K. Rool and Ridley are what we need, but one is said to lack relevance, and the other is said to have size issues. There is one oft- forgotten character that fills the same void with no road blocks… because he IS the block!

Llort, you are asking for a rock with an angry face to be in Super Smash Bros. This better be good.


Ok, Ok, by the time you are done reading this I am fairly certain you will be enlightened and on board with Thwomp for Smash Bros. (If not, you will probably contact a moderator, who in which will contact the FBI and notify them that there is a mentally unstable man on Smash Boards.) Anyways, let’s get to the questions!


Who is Thwomp? And why is he so handsome?

Reminisce about the days of old
​

Thwomp is an iconic enemy from the Super Mario series. Debuting in 1988’s Super Mario Bros 3, Thwomp is now over 30 years old! His role in the main entries is to guard castle areas, and squash Mario & friends as they walk under him. He is one of Bowser’s sturdiest foes, only succumbing to the might of a power star, hammer, or tanooki statue. He has gotten stronger with each passing game; there is no way to defeat him in any 3D Mario entry!

From Super Mario Bros 3 to Mario Party; The Top 100, Thwomp has starred in over 65 games! When Mario made the leap to the third dimension, Thwomp was there in all polygonal glory as well. Thwomp has also been in every single Mario Kart game, a feat he shares only with Mario, Luigi, Peach, Bowser, Yoshi, Toad, and Lakitu. He has appeared in RPGs, Sports games, Platformers, Puzzle games, and more! His appearances in countless blockbuster games has made him quite recognizable, with merchandise a plenty. His simple, recognizable design resonates with fans of Mario Kart, Party, and any Sport.

(Thwomp driving his moped, as seen in Mario Party 8)

He gets around, too! He has appeared in non Mario games, such as 4 Legend of Zelda games, Minecraft on Nintendo Switch, and…

Wait, he’s already a Smash veteran?!?!?!

His personality of constant, boiling anger, knowing that he exists for the sole purpose of ending life in a way more primitive than the guillotine, makes him a true misunderstood villain. He is only doing what he does because the only other option is failure, which would mean being considered a defect in Bowser’s Army and therefore bring his OWN untimely demise. Truly, Thwomp stands with the greats in gaming’s relatable villains, like The Boss and Big Boss from the Metal Gear series or GLADoS from Portal.

That old time Rock N’ Roll​

So we established that Thwomp is a true game icon, above PAC-MAN and Sonic themselves, right? Well then, let’s get to the moveset!

Where are the arms to hold items? And the legs to WALK?!?! And what else can I do???


Have no fear, as Thwomp is a man of many talents. Thwomps can indeed “walk”; they just choose not to. Think I’m crazy? Well, a certain mummified Thwomp would like to have a word!

As we can see, Thwomps can lunge forward, emulating walking. Normal Thwomps do a similar attack in Super Mario 3D Land, although with the help of a tanooki tail. As for arms, Thwomps clearly lack those. But, they do have a large mouth, which looks like it could hold any item with no issue!

That’s The Way I Wanna Rock N Roll​

So Thwomp has no moves, eh? Well, here are some movesets cooked up by fans of the sturdy gatekeeper!

Spoiler

Standard B- THWOMP!

“Bowesr and Yoshi already have ground pound moves!” Not like this though! When Thwomp uses his B move, he goes straight downward. If Thwomp uses this move on the ground, he will just slightly jump up and raise a little dust. Not effective!

But if he uses this move in the air, he will accelerate downward, with very slight horizontal control. The longer he’s in the air, the faster he flies downward and more damage he causes! If he manages to catch anyone directly under him, they will stick under him, unable to escape! This will either lead to them being THWOMPED or an untimely demise in a pit! A move with high risk, low knockback, but HIGH damage and high reward!


Side B- TANOOKI THWOMP!

Here we have the Tanooki Thwomp, a being that can take large leaps forward. For Side B, Thwomp eats a Tanooki Leaf, grows a tail and lunges forward! This attack is best used as a medium range attack, as Thwomp won’t move far, but will fly over players right next to him!


Anyone behind him will get a whack from his tail, anyone infront of his will get knocked away, and anyone under him will get THWOMPED (although, not nearly as satisfying as his regular B).


Down B- THWIMP!

We all need a little help on the battlefield, even the almighty THWOMP. Thwomp makes a tiny stomp on the ground, summoning his buddy Thwimp. Thwimp then does what he does best; jump forward over and over, until he gets hit a few times or jumps off a cliff. An effective minion who will teach opponents to stay away from THWOMP!


For the Up B, there are several possibilities, but I will just list 3 today.


Up B A- THWOMP Rise!

Thwomp does what he always does after crushing someone; rise up slowly, with high vertical movement but NO horizontal movement.


Up B B- PARA-THWOMP!

Thwomp grows wings, like in Super Mario Maker, and flies upward. More horizontal movement, but far less vertical.


Up B C- KOOPA TROOP!

3 Paratoopas appear, grab Thwomp and start flying upward. This ability is quite similar to UP B B, but you can cancel at anytime and attack with a SURPRISE THWOMP!!! However, if the koopas are hit, they are down. Loose all 3 koopas and you will be helpless.


Final Smash- Thwomp Parade

The whole arena fills with Thwomp’s friends, who take turns THWOMP’N opponents! They each hit the ground 2 times before disappearing.


Grab- Thwomp bites the opponent.

Pummel- Thwomp bites down on the opponent with his rock hard pearly-whites.

Forward Throw- Thwomp spits out the opponent.

Back Throw- Thwomp spins around very quickly before letting the opponent go.

Up Throw- Thwomp spits the opponent out upwards, and hits them with the spikes on top of his head.

Down Throw- Thwomp lets go of the opponent, jumps up slightly and THWOMPS them!

Up Smash- The Spikes on top of Thwomp enlarge and extend out above him!

Down Smash- Thwomp jumps up ever so slightly, and causes huge dust clouds to rise up around him.

Side Smash- Thwomp wobbles, then topples over onto opponents!

Side Tilt- Thwomp slightly jumps forward.

Down TIlt- Thwomp jumps up, causing minor shockwaves.

Up Tilt- Thwomp jumps up slightly.

Standard Attack- Thwomp extends his tongue, smacking with opponents before launching himself forward a few feet and landing on his back.

Up Taunt- Sniffle Thwomp

Thwomp sneezes, then turns into a Sniffle Thwomp from Mario & Luigi

Side Taunt- Thwomp grows twice his size, with the mushroom sound effect, but then coughs it out, as seen in Super Mario Maker.

Down Taunt-Thwomp makes the famous laugh from Mario Kart 64

Thwomp is too big!!!

Nah.

Thwomp is irrelevant!!!

Nah.

Thwomp seems to be a great character! But what home stages could he have?

Well, my first choice would be the amazing Thwomp Ruins from the hit Wii U and Switch game Mario Kart 8, but there are several other options, such as

Thwomp Volcano- Mario & Luigi, Partners in Time

Thwomp Desert- Mario Kart Wii

We Love Rock N’ Roll​

What’re you waiting for? Join these fine folks on the THWOMP support list!

Llort A. Ton
Morbi
Masahiro Sakurai
All 45 Presidents of the United States of America

Alright, Llort. That was a funny April Fools joke here on Ridley Boards. But you're not serious, right???

I'm dead serious. He's far from likely, but close to my stone cold heart. But, if we all join forces, we can make him happen!... Maybe. Support today!

 

[Morbi]

This was hilarious, usually the "joke" threads just, well, they try to seriously present the character and it almost ruins the joke which is the character itself. HOWEVER, this was a true parody, because while it was serious in presentation, you actually put a lot of effort into this, and it had jokes. It knows what it is, that is what every other third-rate character thread fails to comprehend. That light-hearted humor made this the first character support OP that I have ever read in its entirety.

In other words, "URGH!" I want to join the 46 (I am counting Thwomp) Presidents of the United States.

 

[Snorkel the dolphin]

Honestly, I'd love to see Thwomp make a comeback. He would go great alongside Piranha Plant.

 

[Some Beedrill]

I'd copy and paste entire rows of yes's but that'd count as spam. Also, people reacting to this would be pure comedy gold.

 

[AlRex]

The most surprising thing here is that I think this was made before Piranha Plant happened. Makes me want to see a whole fighting game of random enemies.

 

[Some Beedrill]

The most surprising thing here is that I think this was made before Piranha Plant happened. Makes me want to see a whole fighting game of random enemies.

It was. (let's be honest though in a world where Sakurai made a Thowmp instead of Piranha Plant it would've been so much more interesting to see)

 

[UserKev]

Thwomps aren't actually forgotten since their usually anonymous with memories of past Mario games and nostalgia. Thwomps could have the most amazing Down Smash, Forward Smash and air down B, Smash already being a pun of the enemy.

 

[Sebas22]

Without a doubt, I think it's really interesting how people have started giving every Mario enemy their own moveset after the inclusion of Piranha Plant. However I'm not so sure if I support it. Not because of lack of creativity (It's a neat moveset) or how weird would it look moving. But, do we really need more Mario characters?

 

[Some Beedrill]

Without a doubt, I think it's really interesting how people have started giving every Mario enemy their own moveset after the inclusion of Piranha Plant. However I'm not so sure if I support it. Not because of lack of creativity (It's a neat moveset) or how weird would it look moving. But, do we really need more Mario characters?

The thing about most Mario characters now is that it's really more of the question of who's next than who should be in next. I mean, we already got that with Daisy and aside from Toad or Paper Mario, the characters that are left are only being discussed because we're likely to get another Mario character instead of that we need then as another Mario character.

 

[Yomi's Biggest Fan]

Who would had thought an April Fools joke would predict a good Mario Assist Trophy.

I’m still trying to picture how it would work as a fighter.

 

[Deleted member]

Thwomp would've been 5000 times more valid than the plant lmao.