Theres this girl...

[~*Voom*~]

Link to original post: [drupal=1530]Theres this girl...[/drupal]



Well so there is this girl that goes to my church iand i think i like her...But she is my older sisters best friend.
I think i like her but im not sure what to do.Advice?
(she is a year older than me).She is sooooooooooo cute

 

[highfive]

Does she know your name?

 

[¯\_S.(ツ).L.I.D._/¯]

Are you friends with her/does she know you?

 

[~*Voom*~]

Yes she does we talk alot today for like..........all day

 

[¯\_S.(ツ).L.I.D._/¯]

Oh well then you might want to ask your sister what she thinks of you before you go and do something rash.

 

[highfive]

Then your already winning. I remember my first girlfriend. Asked her out at a football game. Anyway, what you have to do is make sure she sees you as a friend before anything else.

 

[~*Voom*~]

Yeah but im too shy

 

[highfive]

Then casually ask her if she wants to go hangout (nothing serious. Never say the word date until you know you have a shot.) with some friends. I've found watching a chick flick with a girl works good but so does a bowling alley.

 

[~*Voom*~]

We already hang out alot but it is with family/friends

 

[highfive]

exactly. Now just cut it down to friends. Make it a 1:1 guy/girl ratio.

 

[¯\_S.(ツ).L.I.D._/¯]

Don't be shy, just get comfortable around her and you'll be able to chill with her one on one.

 

[highfive]

Then ask her out. Just remember to always be a gentleman. It really does work.

 

[Chaco]

Be careful and not get in the "friend zone", it's a tough place to be. If she starts talking to you about past boyfriends, troubles with her female friends and all that stuff. You may want to back off a bit, and keep to more AB conversation. And not add C parts into it.

 

[OutlawStar]

Sorry I have no advice considering I have never had a girlfriend O.o
But, don`t punch her in the face, that might hurt your chances.

 

[Proverbs]

Yes she does we talk alot today for like..........all day

WARNING!! Don't talk to a girl you like for extremely long periods of time. Seriously, the more distance you put in the beginning the better. Seriously. It may make the girl like you, but it doesn't end up working out in the end.

It's just that in these times of high emotion, control needs to be exercised, or else the relationship becomes a product of infatuation, which quickly runs out. Instead, build a solid friendship and take slow steps toward romance. This will end you up with a person who's a great friend and also a significant other. That's the sort of relationship that really lasts. And if she really likes you, the time in between will only serve to increase her feelings to you.

A lot of guys think that if they're not around the girl that the girl stops thinking about him. But the thing is, it's once you leave her field of vision that she starts thinking about you. That's when all the magic happens. So, with girls, less is more a lot of the time. You need to mindgame girls a little bit, unlike guys. Do things like be a really good friend to her, but don't always talk to her a ton. Then out of nowhere, take one day where you make a sincere effort to appear a lot more like you like her and that you're interested in her. The next day go back to pulling something back.

This makes the girl surprised when she sees this sudden burst of interest, wonders about it for a while, and when it's gone she starts thinking about it more. If it happens regularly, you get her thinking about you romantically. And if you couple this with a consistent and good friendship, it ultimately builds to someone you're close friends with, and also brew her feelings.

I'll quote one of my friends on this: "It took me a year to realize how much I liked this girl, and another year to get her to like me more than I like her."

I really shouldn't be betraying all of my romance secrets here I don't even use them at this point. I'd rather a woman fall for me on her own, but, this is a good way to really get her thinking about you romantically, while building a solid relationship that will last. Remember, the goal is to get her to like you more than you like her. That's the position you want to be in.

Wow I feel so terrible

 

[Chaco]

Proverbs, PM me when you have time I want to hear your input on my situation.

 

[number1ricky]

Then ask her out. Just remember to always be a gentleman. It really does work.

Best advice yet!

But seriously IF U LIKE HER the only thing u should do is be yourself, and don't be afraid to talk to her.

Go get her. And if u do become friends that could lead to more, don't listen to any1 else.

 

[~*Voom*~]

Wow you guys are very helpful thanks!

 

[Jam Stunna]

WARNING!! Don't talk to a girl you like for extremely long periods of time. Seriously, the more distance you put in the beginning the better. Seriously. It may make the girl like you, but it doesn't end up working out in the end.

It's just that in these times of high emotion, control needs to be exercised, or else the relationship becomes a product of infatuation, which quickly runs out. Instead, build a solid friendship and take slow steps toward romance. This will end you up with a person who's a great friend and also a significant other. That's the sort of relationship that really lasts. And if she really likes you, the time in between will only serve to increase her feelings to you.

A lot of guys think that if they're not around the girl that the girl stops thinking about him. But the thing is, it's once you leave her field of vision that she starts thinking about you. That's when all the magic happens. So, with girls, less is more a lot of the time. You need to mindgame girls a little bit, unlike guys. Do things like be a really good friend to her, but don't always talk to her a ton. Then out of nowhere, take one day where you make a sincere effort to appear a lot more like you like her and that you're interested in her. The next day go back to pulling something back.

This makes the girl surprised when she sees this sudden burst of interest, wonders about it for a while, and when it's gone she starts thinking about it more. If it happens regularly, you get her thinking about you romantically. And if you couple this with a consistent and good friendship, it ultimately builds to someone you're close friends with, and also brew her feelings.

I'll quote one of my friends on this: "It took me a year to realize how much I liked this girl, and another year to get her to like me more than I like her."

I really shouldn't be betraying all of my romance secrets here I don't even use them at this point. I'd rather a woman fall for me on her own, but, this is a good way to really get her thinking about you romantically, while building a solid relationship that will last. Remember, the goal is to get her to like you more than you like her. That's the position you want to be in.

Wow I feel so terrible

I like you alot Proverbs, but I don't think I could possibly disagree with this more.

~*Voom*~, your first step is to figure out FOR CERTAIN if you like this girl or not. If you're not certain, there's no need to try and get into a situation as obviously fraught with peril as trying to date your older sister's best friend.

Once you have that figured out, then you need to pursue. What Proverbs is essentially advocating is an "absence makes the heart grow fonder" strategy. The danger with that is that if you don't let a girl know immediately what your intentions are towards her, you run the risk of becoming her friend. I'm not 100% against friendship first, but I feel like if you want a friendship, that should be your only goal. If you want a girlfriend, that should be your only goal. The two go hand in hand, true, but chasing one to get the other doesn't really make much sense.

In all honesty, I don't think this whole thing is a good idea at all, but if you're dead set on pursuing this, then go all out for it.

 

[Chaco]

Which is why I said; Stay out of the friend zone.

 

[Pr0phetic]

Link to original post: [drupal=1530]Theres this girl...[/drupal]



Well so there is this girl that goes to my church iand i think i like her...But she is my older sisters best friend.
I think i like her but im not sure what to do.Advice?
(she is a year older than me).She is sooooooooooo cute

1 year is pretty lenient. Start talking to her, be yourself, ask your sister for the hookup.

 

[Teran]

Pum dat ting boy, you only live twice.

 

[Pr0phetic]

Pum dat ting boy, you only live twice.

watagwan, coolie bai now? lol sorry couldn't help it.

But seriously, make sure you talk to her, flirt, and umm my other suggestions.
Ah, always show interest in what she's interested in, whether you know about it or not.

 

[kingdomofthehearts_snucas]

Dont push it. Dont move to fast, take it slow, enjoy the moments.

 

[Jam Stunna]

Some of these posts aren't advice as much as they are regurgitated cliches.

 

[OutlawStar]

Be confident, girls supposedly like confidence.
Take charge! But I really wish I could help

 

[Chaco]

Some of these posts aren't advice as much as they are regurgitated cliches.

I agre e.

 

[¯\_S.(ツ).L.I.D._/¯]

Lol Jam, I like how you put that.

If you smell her, she might get freaked out.

But mah boi, be confident, it's what true heroes STRIVE for!

 

[Teran]

Some of these posts aren't advice as much as they are regurgitated cliches.

You can never accuse me of that. XD

 

[~*Voom*~]

Now this is why your mods debaters respected ect ect
Your amazing!

 

[Proverbs]

I like you alot Proverbs, but I don't think I could possibly disagree with this more.

~*Voom*~, your first step is to figure out FOR CERTAIN if you like this girl or not. If you're not certain, there's no need to try and get into a situation as obviously fraught with peril as trying to date your older sister's best friend.

Once you have that figured out, then you need to pursue. What Proverbs is essentially advocating is an "absence makes the heart grow fonder" strategy. The danger with that is that if you don't let a girl know immediately what your intentions are towards her, you run the risk of becoming her friend. I'm not 100% against friendship first, but I feel like if you want a friendship, that should be your only goal. If you want a girlfriend, that should be your only goal. The two go hand in hand, true, but chasing one to get the other doesn't really make much sense.

In all honesty, I don't think this whole thing is a good idea at all, but if you're dead set on pursuing this, then go all out for it.

I agree, actually. I left a few parts out of what I was saying, but this is also good. I definitely should have mentioned to figure out your feelings first, and what I meant as far as keeping distance was to keep the relationship undefined and let her thoughts guide it.

But I don't like the advice I gave anyway. It sounds too much like you're just trying to "get with the girl." Unfortunately, I happen to know how to do this. And, it is true that girls do think about a guy more once he's gone. Don't disappear, but I'd definitely say to mix a bit of clear pursuit and a bit of avoidance. Because 100% pursuit makes you look like a creep. And 100% avoidance makes you look like a jerk.

But yeah, definitely in agreement about the basics: Don't fall into the category of 'being a friend.'

 

[Jam Stunna]

You can never accuse me of that. XD

Don't make me not wobble you!

@ Proverbs- I understand what you mean now, that makes sense.

 

[Heartz♥]

I knew Proverbs would handle this, Voom. You don't always need the opinion of a female. My love life is very different and the advice I'd offer wouldn't help much.

But all I have to say is I commend you for seeking a significant other in Church, and not on the street or in clubs and what not. The better relationships are always spiritual, because there is so much bonding that can and will occur. Flesh means nothing. It's the essence of the vessel that brings people closer together.

 

[~*Voom*~]

1-You cant wobble him you aint pb&j or wobbles
2-i would love your opinion heartz!

 

[Proverbs]

I knew Proverbs would handle this, Voom. You don't always need the opinion of a female. My love life is very different and the advice I'd offer wouldn't help much.

But all I have to say is I commend you for seeking a significant other in Church, and not on the street or in clubs and what not. The better relationships are always spiritual, because there is so much bonding that can and will occur. Flesh means nothing. It's the essence of the vessel that brings people closer together.

Ohmygoodness, quote for truth. Take it from the guy who's been in loads of relationships because I thought a girl was cute or nice or something. Go for someone who leaves a real mark on you because of their character. Let that be what attracts you to them, because honestly, those are the people who are truly beautiful on the inside, and it makes for much better relationships.

@ Proverbs- I understand what you mean now, that makes sense.

Okay ^_^ Glad to be on the same page as you, I respect your judgment a lot more than mine, considering you're someone who's actually married and I'm not even dating right now o.-

 

[~*Voom*~]

Ohmygoodness, quote for truth. Take it from the guy who's been in loads of relationships because I thought a girl was cute or nice or something. Go for someone who leaves a real mark on you because of their character. Let that be what attracts you to them, because honestly, those are the people who are truly beautiful on the inside, and it makes for much better relationships.

Wow i cant handle your words of wisdom AAAAAAAH!

 

[Proverbs]

^^ I'm glad it helped out. I honestly have to give glory to God, though. Without Him I wouldn't have a clue how to deal with myself emotionally, let alone help other people. He's the only thing that keeps me grounded. Any wisdom I've gotten I've learned from Him either through prayer and reading of/meditation on Scripture.

 

[LordoftheMorning]

Proverbs and Jam should start a talkshow or magezine together. =3

 

[Proverbs]

^Oh my goodness, perfect name for it. "Proverbs and Jam." XD I wonder what people would think of when they heard that.

 

[P.C. Jona]

Link to original post: [drupal=1530]Theres this girl...[/drupal]



Well so there is this girl that goes to my church iand i think i like her...But she is my older sisters best friend.
I think i like her but im not sure what to do.Advice?
(she is a year older than me).She is sooooooooooo cute

i was in your situation 2 years ago..

how old are you ?