Team: Johnny Tealbeard (Ryker), Comfort Man (Sold2), Brody Orifice (Jungle), [Secret] Clyde Cleareyes (Moth)
-Team shows up, ****s around a bit not knowing what to do
-Shadow fog is noticed, is bad to touch (!!!)
-They find an entrance to a large cave, very well lit with manmade lights.
-The group goes in, reaches a large open area (ceiling can't be seen)
-The group sends in Comfort Man, who is attacked by a giant bat
-Tealbeard freezes time, tackles the bat
-The bat takes off with Tealbeard on his back. Tealbeard manages to get the bat into a nosedive
-Comfort Man dives into the way, the bat turns into a giant balloon animal version of itself (Tealbeard pops its head while in balloon form)
-A second bat grabs Comfort Man, the crew isn't prepared enough to save him this time
-Comfort Man is carried high into the cave, beyond the group's view. He uses his temperature control to create an updraft, slamming the bat into the top of the cave. Comfort Man breaks free and falls.
-Comfort Man lands in Cherry Flavored jello. He adds some to his inventory (it returns to dirt once he moves out of it though)
-Bat comes back down, is killed by Brody
-Group moves on into a new tunnel, can't see anything
-Comfort Man vanishes (falls into a hole, lands on a big beanbag chair)
-Others eventually follow
-They see a light in the distance, move to it
-They find a large, sandy room. Inside they come across a glass box. Inside they find some basic gear
-As they move to leave, a big *** sand scorpion appears (suspiciously similar to the boss in Skyward Sword)
-FIGHT ENSUES (too lazy to write out all the little things that happened
-Scorpion is killed, another box appears
-Clyde Cleareyes is inside, Tealbeard is wary of trusting him
-Comfort Man suplexes his teammates
-Eventually Clyde joins the team, but is not fully trusted
-They (eventually) move on, into another corridor. They find a wooden crate with lanterns in them
-Several of them are broken immediately thanks to Comfort Man
-The lights cut out, only light available is the few lanterns left
-They reach another large room, but it is still pitch black. They find a torch on the wall to light, revealing another torch further in.
-They light the second torch, Clyde spots a white mass on the ceiling running back into the shadows
-3rd torch is lit, the beast drop down from the ceiling (its the Gigginox from MH, if you're familiar with that. This was mostly hear to make Jungle/Composer mad)
-FIGHT ENSUES, Clyde is fatally poisoned
-Full gear restored
-Tealbeard uses Lt. Crush's headlights to light up the path (NOTE: Lt. Crush and Reginald are Tealbeard's sharks, that he uses as weapons)
-Team reaches a tunnel that is too low to walk through, are forced to crawl.
-Eventually they reach a point in the tunnel that dips downwards and is filled with water (the water is noted to look unusual, like shimmering a bit)
-Tealbeard investigates via Lt. Crush, who is very confused by the water but unhurt
-Upon investigation, Tealbeard finds that they can breath in this water. The crew all moves to the end of the tunnel and reaches a dead end
-After a long, LONG time, they nearly bury themselves alive via collapsing a wall. But they decide to not do that, and instead find an old rusted hatch higher up. Lt. Crush blows it open, and black nasty water spews out
-The rising water level carries the team up, eventually they wash up on a beach in the cave (the room is massive, much further than they could see even with daylight)
-Clyde has died during the rising water part
-They spot.... a giant Starbucks
-Comfort Man rushes in, the doors lock behind him
-Comfort Man is met by the goddamn hipster seen in the main tournament thread. His eyes are missing, just black holes
-The GDH (goddamn hipster) is consumed by a shadowy figure, and becomes a horrible monster (talons, drool dripping down, **** like that. Comfort Man's head comes up to about his knee level)
-Meanwhile, Tealbeard is trying to break into the Starbucks
-After a bit of a scuffle between CM and GDH, Tealbeard eventually breaks in with Brody
-FIGHT ENSUES
And then that one was over!