The Realistic/Impractical Move Thread

[Dr. James Rustles]

How well would each character or their moves hold up if their moves were more realistic? Assume veteran inclusion.

For example, the Villager being able to plant a sapling on the spot would probably not work that well against the cast even if it did manage to sprout into a tree as they could just walk around it or melt his skin off with lasers.

Diddy Kong would be outfitted with one of the worst possible arsenals you could give anyone. His peanut launcher and banana peels would be better held onto for nourishment. The jetpack recovery would probably result in a violently bloody lethal crash, on top of its worrisome and fragile design of wooden barrels.

 

[Mr.Showtime]

Mario's Up Special....free coins!
Samus = free homing rockets and bombs.
Jigglypuff = never need sleeping pills
Ivysaur = *ahem*

 

[Dr. James Rustles]

Jigglypuff = never need sleeping pills

I had never really thought about that! In usual combat it wouldn't be useful. They say sleep is a soldier's worst enemy; So in a drawn out conflict of attrition and entrenchment, Jiggs would have an advantage over most of the cast by being able to cope with the stress of battle by regulating when she fell asleep without risking the dependency and side effects of sleeping pills.

I don't see where you're going with Ivysaur

 

[Hong]

I am sure a rodent flying at a moving aircraft headfirst is probably one of the worst ideas ever.
Use of Fire Fox would result in near-immediate death after he loses momentum.
Similarly, Captain Falcon's suit has to be flame-retardant, or else his specials would probably result in third-degree burns.
Luigi would crack his skull from landing on the stage after a Super Jump Punch.
Holding out a bucket will not protect you from lightning.

 

[Swamp Sensei]

Luigi would crack his skull from landing on the stage after a Super Jump Punch.

Not to mention Green Missile...

 

[Dr. James Rustles]

Use of Fire Fox would result in near-immediate death after he loses momentum.

After he loses momentum? He'd be crispy before he even launched. Falco would turn into a Thanksgiving dinner.

Not to mention Green Missile...

Yeah, the Jump Punch and Green Missile would probably at least leave him paralyzed from the neck down for the rest of his life.

Granted Ness could even produce lightning from any source, hitting himself with it would cause him to black out or have a seizure.

 

[APC99]

Dude, Lucas' hands would be frostbitten AND have third-degree burns at the EXACT same time. If that isn't depressing, I don't know what is.

 

[Mr.Showtime]

Meta Knight would be named as one of the most feared hurricanes that destroyed the American continents or Europe.

 

[liets]

well lets start with our favorite tub-o-blubber first of all, so much indigestion if not death from swallowing various junk and numerous motorcycles. and his "wario waft" wouldn't go so well... this video in the game theory series will explain http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bj_TMREGHSY yeah...
now to ice climbers. the thick heavy parkas they wear would not only be ungodly hot and sweaty but also hinder movement
lets try the one in my avatar. a clear example of face energy burn self-infliction
bowser and yoshi would suffer massive bone fracture upon slamming their rears into the ground. captain falcon and gannon would also endure some injury from kicking the ground full-force
snake's forward smash would really only accomplish blowing himself up. i mean really, come on
wii fit trainer's moves, by the looks of it, would pretty much just slaps and jabs
ike would also burst into flames with his generic special and final smash
and i don't understand how pikmin don't become crippled by being slammed and chucked into things
charizard would receive a concussion from rock smash
and that's about all i can come up with for now

 

[Dr. James Rustles]

well lets start with our favorite tub-o-blubber first of all, so much indigestion if not death from swallowing various junk and numerous motorcycles. and his "wario waft" wouldn't go so well... this video in the game theory series will explain http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bj_TMREGHSY yeah...

Amazing video. I don't doubt the potential lethality of eating rubber and metal, but I've heard of cases of people who eat bicycle parts, a boy who drank petrol (suffering severe brain damage later in life) and there is of course the woman who has allegedly ate rubber tires. I don't know how useful any of this would be though.

Charizard's skull could be harder than rock but I doubt it. He might still suffer concussive damage despite it.

Any attempts Peach made to prevent herself from falling by opening a parasol would hilariously fail.

 

[ImaClubYou]

Having a double jump.

 

[DakotaBonez]

All the characters possess the abilty to jump and fall through thin horizontal walls known as platforms. Could you imagine if people in the real world could pull that sh#@ off?!?
Actually I can't think of anything useful, unless you want to drop through a thin second floor and crash into a fancy dinner party. To escape them capturing you, you'd have to drop through into the basement. At that point you're cornered and they've called the cops. But who's gonna believe their story? "Officer officer! A stranger phased through our roof and crashed our fancy dinner party! Then he lowered his body through the floor like a ghost and disappeared!"

 

[BaPr]

I think Snake would be the least affected by this. The only major problem would be his side smash. It seems like a suicidle move. Nice thread by the way.

 

[Dr. James Rustles]

I think Snake would be the least affected by this. The only major problem would be his side smash. It seems like a suicidle move. Nice thread by the way.

Well, this is a realistic move thread, so realistically he wouldn't have anything to gain by blowing himself up Unless he was unable to escape extremely long monologues.

I think most characters that have their moveset rooted in science fiction would be unaffected, since it's assumed the technologies involved are at least plausible or on the frontier horizons of our understanding, which would make Samus hands-down one of the most powerful adversaries.

Thanks!

Having a double jump.

Yeah, most of the cast is gimped in the air. I think even Charizard might be too heavy to gain lift despite having wings. R.O.B. would suddenly be a very lethal predator.

 

[BaPr]

What about that down special on Pikachu? That must seriously hurt. What about Pit? I mean, he could still fly, I think. Not sure how it all works out, considering he has a pretty unrealistic moveset. I think his arrows will affect anybody, because they are light arrows, and light doesn't hurt.

 

[Z1GMA]

Zapping forward at Fox Illusion-speed, would make your body crumble.

 

[Dr. James Rustles]

Zapping forward at Fox Illusion-speed, would make your body crumble.

Assuming we use the same technology that Fox is, how would our bodies crumble? If the technology just changes the momentum of your body, then you should be fine so long as you avoid obstacles. It looks also like the technology cancels all the momentum for the molecules in your body, so you wouldn't suffer nausea or other effects of traveling at or quickly transitioning into high speeds.. If he is actually traveling through an alternate space, then he might be at risk at reappearing around gaseous molecules (maybe some even fusing) would definitely be lethal.

The former seems more likely to be the case because he is a blur to our eyes and his matter is still tangible.

Peach using Toad as a shield would be morally dubious and equally doubtful in usefulness.

 

[BADGRAPHICS]

It would become apparent that Zelda has Aspergers Syndrome and suffers paranoid delusions as she stumbles around the stage pretending she can teleport.

 

[GreenMunchkin]

I don't get the Ivysaur one
Lets see, top tier...
- Meta Knight: Tornado could cause a blackout due to spinning speed, and wouldn't allow MK to gain height. Also, sword is much more deadly then the game portrays
- Ice Climbers: Ice blocks wouldn't do jack, and side-b would have the same problems as MK's Tornado, to a lesser extent.
- Olimar: Pikmen would die from being thrown; whistle wouldn't make ones about to fall past the bottom blast line jump up to Olimar; and the weird hop spin attack would have the same problems as Climbers side-b, once again to a lesser extent. And, he would die from being footstooled by most of the cast (particularly Bowser), given that he's <1foot tall.
- Diddy Kong: Banana peels would be depressingly ineffective, and as already pointed out, Rocketbarrel Boost would flat out kill or mortally wound him.
- Marth: Dolphin Slash is incorrect via the laws of physics; same as MK: if he hit someone with a sword, it would cut a hole in them, so he's be much better in that regard.
- Snake: As already pointed out, F-Smash is suicide.
- Falco: In addition to debatable Phantasm/Fire Animal facts, shine would be insane, it's literally a force field of energy being materialized on you. Ouch. Ditto for fox.
- Pikachu: No, thunder wouldn't really hurt Pikachu. He's very resistant to lightning. Quick attack probably breaks innumerable laws of physics. And Skull Bash into a wall would hurt quite a bit, possibly even concussion level.
- Zero Suit Samus: Down-b, much like a double jump, simply wouldn't be possible. Down air would probably at least strain her ankle. And battle damage would be fun ;D
- Wario: Motorcycle would be drastically less height-boosting, Up-b is DJR'ed (Double jump ruled {See Zamus's Down-b,}) Wario Waft is, as pointed out, covered handily by game theory, and eating a bomb would cause death. Ditto for Dedede.

Might post more later.

 

[BaPr]

Charizard using rock smash would probably do some damage. Also, Mario's Dair and Luigi's Dspecial would do the same as Metanight's tornado does to him.

 

[KingofPhantoms]

Peach needs a new recovery.

Or a really strong updraft.

 

[Dr. James Rustles]

Ike throwing his sword so high up in the air could probably throw out his back and really only accomplish making everyone clear out of the way for fear of it falling on them.

 

[nat pagle]

Terminal velocity is met within .5 seconds. The air resistance is so high it's a wonder they don't burst into flames after getting hit off stage.

 

[Conren]

and i don't understand how pikmin don't become crippled by being slammed and chucked into things

Square-Cube Law, man. They should be very resistant to damage from being thrown.

 

[liets]

Square-Cube Law, man. They should be very resistant to damage from being thrown.

very good, Conren, very good indeed. that is, though, only if they were their size from pikmin (under one inch). but im talking about as they are scaled up to their smash size (a good few feet) an exact example of the biomechanic structure being weakened as these measures increase. otherwise: spot on

 

[Dr. James Rustles]

Sheik using her new Burst Grenade looks pretty dangerous. I have seen grenades attached to paracord but not primed by them, so it looks like if yanked too soon or while then pin is at the wrong angle, the grenade would come flying back at her.

Unless Sonic has a low terminal velocity, using his spring could cripple him.

 

[ChikoLad]

Sheik using her new Burst Grenade looks pretty dangerous. I have seen grenades attached to paracord but not primed by them, so it looks like if yanked too soon or while then pin is at the wrong angle, the grenade would come flying back at her.

Unless Sonic has a low terminal velocity, using his spring could cripple him.

It depends on how we are applying this realism concept.

Sonic has extreme durability. It's one of his officially recognised traits. Maybe hedgehogs in real-life don't have this, but due to the properties Sonic is said to have, it's REALISTIC for him to survive. Yes, it may be unrealistic for him to have them, but it's more interesting to see how the abilities characters do have would realistically effect them (because otherwise, almost everyone is a goner).

 

[Smash_Veteran_Amtoj]

Ness and Lucas... All that fire, lightning, and ice... Ouch...

 

[BaPr]

Ness and Lucas... All that fire, lightning, and ice... Ouch...

Especially the way they use electricity to recover.

 

[Networker1]

I'll do some newcomers:
Mega man is a robot so he is safe with all his moves :D
Villager won't do much
Same for WFT
Rosalina... umm... stars are burning balls of gas... so I think she melts everything...
Greninja breaks the laws of physics several times, but he should be able to land softly enough due to his overall squishy properties and low density.

Bonus: Samus is the only character who can double jump due to use of thrusters

 

[KRBAY]

Kirby would have trouble carrying his hammer and Final Cutter, and Ness might burn his hands from PK Fire and would have...static electricity(?) from his bair.

...And dash-dancing would put everyone on sick day breaks.

 

[Tornado_Man]

Mega Man... well dang he's invincible realistically

 

[Violenceman]

Ike throwing his sword so high up in the air could probably throw out his back and really only accomplish making everyone clear out of the way for fear of it falling on them.

That's only the tip of the iceberg. There is also him trying to leap high enough in the air to catch it at the apex of the throw, timing it right so he grabs the handle and not the blade (and avoids being cleaved by the vertical spinning motion), and the fact that the impact upon crashing down to the ground with the sword would probably break most of his bones.

Aether is the hat trick of improbable moves.