We all know that the current final smashes are just a big, fat, juicy, spicy, sweet...I forgot what i was saying. Anyway I talked to jesus and he gave me a list of the REAL final smashes. So here you go, smashboards, the REAL final smashes:
Mario: Gets out his plumber kit and does his work in the corner, everyone gets instantly KO'ed from the boredom.
Link: Puts on his Iron Boots and kicks everyone in the ***. Everyone suffers from internal bleeding. After using this final smash, Link can no longer do anything. Ever.
Kirby: Dies from a weight related heart attack.
Ike: Goes into super awesome slow motion movement mode, and goes so slow he actually gets younger and younger until he ceases to exist.
Marth: Pie.
Snake: Reads a porno magazine. After using this FS, Snake can no longer jump.
Captain Falcon: Walks up to the camera man and says 'SHOW ME YOUR MOVES' So loud it kills everyone ingame. And you.
Sonic: His voice actor's testicles drop, causing the universe to collapse onto itself. Instant KO.
Zelda/Sheik: Decides she/he is not happy being a man or a woman, and transforms into some sort of cake/lizard crossover.
Yoshi: Gets really hungry and eats the opposite players, himself, you, your mates, your mum, the united states congress, etc.
Pikachu: Summons an almighty electric strike from the sky, accidentally owning himself in the process.
ROB: Does the ROB dance. (Watch the advert if you dunno what I mean.)
Fox/Falco/Wolf: Drink a beverage. Fox has Coke, Falco has Pepsi and Wolf has Vimto. The blatant advertisement puts all players into a coma.
Everyone else: They just kinda stand there waiting for something important to happen.
Disclaimer: thisthreadismadeforcomicalpurposesandshouldnotbetakenseriously, thoughididactuallymeetjesus. (That's not all jargon btw. Read it, or i'll sue you.)
Mario: Gets out his plumber kit and does his work in the corner, everyone gets instantly KO'ed from the boredom.
Link: Puts on his Iron Boots and kicks everyone in the ***. Everyone suffers from internal bleeding. After using this final smash, Link can no longer do anything. Ever.
Kirby: Dies from a weight related heart attack.
Ike: Goes into super awesome slow motion movement mode, and goes so slow he actually gets younger and younger until he ceases to exist.
Marth: Pie.
Snake: Reads a porno magazine. After using this FS, Snake can no longer jump.
Captain Falcon: Walks up to the camera man and says 'SHOW ME YOUR MOVES' So loud it kills everyone ingame. And you.
Sonic: His voice actor's testicles drop, causing the universe to collapse onto itself. Instant KO.
Zelda/Sheik: Decides she/he is not happy being a man or a woman, and transforms into some sort of cake/lizard crossover.
Yoshi: Gets really hungry and eats the opposite players, himself, you, your mates, your mum, the united states congress, etc.
Pikachu: Summons an almighty electric strike from the sky, accidentally owning himself in the process.
ROB: Does the ROB dance. (Watch the advert if you dunno what I mean.)
Fox/Falco/Wolf: Drink a beverage. Fox has Coke, Falco has Pepsi and Wolf has Vimto. The blatant advertisement puts all players into a coma.
Everyone else: They just kinda stand there waiting for something important to happen.
Disclaimer: thisthreadismadeforcomicalpurposesandshouldnotbetakenseriously, thoughididactuallymeetjesus. (That's not all jargon btw. Read it, or i'll sue you.)
