Link to original post: [drupal=4735]The Mysterious Case of The Mysterious Case of Mysterious Teeth Whitening Strips[/drupal]
Chilly fall air. A suburb in the United States. Michigan. What happened this day, no more than ten minutes ago, will haunt me for the rest of my life. When all hell breaks loose, this is surely what it must be like.
My mother is one of those mothers. Caring, loving, sweet. On the phone that is. In the supermarket that is. With family th-- never mind. The kind that will spend a day reorganizing the living room and then hold that over my head for the rest of the week. If it's my room she's reorganizing, then oh my god. She had dipped her toes in the areas of astrology, tarot cards, and psychics. More like ***-trology, Terror Cards, and Psyducks. Self-help books and help-other-people-self-help books, personality tests. Hair dying, although that phase has gone away, thankfully. Since her employment at a dentist's office, she will bring items home, "at like HALF the price of what people that don't work there would get them for!" So the obvious response is to bring floss and high-tech toothbrushes, and high-tech flossing machines (you should see this damn thing. I nearly blinded myself trying to figure it out). But I think her personal favorites are teeth-whitening strips. Apply to your teeth, and bam. White teeth. If you want some you'll have to buy them at retail price, unfortunately.
We had been gone all weekend at our father's house, but arrived early on account of his business trip to India at around 6:00 PM this night. No one had visited the house. Upon arriving, I lay down my bag, ate some chips and humus, and then it was time for my mother to make a run to the local place which I will avoid mentioning by name as it would tip you off to my location in Michigan, and you guys are disgusting strangers. So off to the place she goes with my brother, my junior by two years. My other brother, seven years younger than me is left home with me. As soon as I leave I get to that damn computer as fast as I can and play some Duke Nukem Forever. It's okay but whatever. My brother is running around the living room throwing one of those neon orange spiky balls around. If you want to hear annoying I will be glad to record a short WAV file of the sound that thing makes upon contact with skin. So yes, he's running around, and I'm playing that, trying to shoo him away as I know that the upcoming scene involves me receiving fellatio. The deed done, I proceed to go through that part of the game and thinking about how disgusting the two girls are. Their midriff and clothes are nice though! My mother calls and asks me to find a key in her coat pocket that she forgot, which I do, as well as write down the access code for the trash bin at the place where they are. That done, I return to the computer and keep an eye on the window so I know when my mother pulls up to pick up these items. I see her pull up and hand her the stuff, and head back inside. At this point I hear my brother downstairs playing Madden. Why.
And after a few more minutes of gameplay, my mother and brother return, so I get off the computer and head downstairs. Like two things that argue upon contact, my mother and smallest brother argue upon contact. The sink in the bathroom is a complete MESS! there is floss and a gasp! TEETH WHITENING strip in the SINK! The questions ensue. "Did you do this?" The answer is, "No." From everyone. This will not do. The detective cap is flung out from the drawers and thrown on my mother's head. I, being trustworthy, am let off easy, and rightfully so. What business do I have with things like that? My brother who went with my brother is released on account of having an alibi. The youngest? He did it! He had to! But the only answers from him are annoyed "Noooooo"s and bratty "Oh myyyyy godddddddddd"s.
And so. The ghost probably did it.
Chilly fall air. A suburb in the United States. Michigan. What happened this day, no more than ten minutes ago, will haunt me for the rest of my life. When all hell breaks loose, this is surely what it must be like.
My mother is one of those mothers. Caring, loving, sweet. On the phone that is. In the supermarket that is. With family th-- never mind. The kind that will spend a day reorganizing the living room and then hold that over my head for the rest of the week. If it's my room she's reorganizing, then oh my god. She had dipped her toes in the areas of astrology, tarot cards, and psychics. More like ***-trology, Terror Cards, and Psyducks. Self-help books and help-other-people-self-help books, personality tests. Hair dying, although that phase has gone away, thankfully. Since her employment at a dentist's office, she will bring items home, "at like HALF the price of what people that don't work there would get them for!" So the obvious response is to bring floss and high-tech toothbrushes, and high-tech flossing machines (you should see this damn thing. I nearly blinded myself trying to figure it out). But I think her personal favorites are teeth-whitening strips. Apply to your teeth, and bam. White teeth. If you want some you'll have to buy them at retail price, unfortunately.
We had been gone all weekend at our father's house, but arrived early on account of his business trip to India at around 6:00 PM this night. No one had visited the house. Upon arriving, I lay down my bag, ate some chips and humus, and then it was time for my mother to make a run to the local place which I will avoid mentioning by name as it would tip you off to my location in Michigan, and you guys are disgusting strangers. So off to the place she goes with my brother, my junior by two years. My other brother, seven years younger than me is left home with me. As soon as I leave I get to that damn computer as fast as I can and play some Duke Nukem Forever. It's okay but whatever. My brother is running around the living room throwing one of those neon orange spiky balls around. If you want to hear annoying I will be glad to record a short WAV file of the sound that thing makes upon contact with skin. So yes, he's running around, and I'm playing that, trying to shoo him away as I know that the upcoming scene involves me receiving fellatio. The deed done, I proceed to go through that part of the game and thinking about how disgusting the two girls are. Their midriff and clothes are nice though! My mother calls and asks me to find a key in her coat pocket that she forgot, which I do, as well as write down the access code for the trash bin at the place where they are. That done, I return to the computer and keep an eye on the window so I know when my mother pulls up to pick up these items. I see her pull up and hand her the stuff, and head back inside. At this point I hear my brother downstairs playing Madden. Why.
And after a few more minutes of gameplay, my mother and brother return, so I get off the computer and head downstairs. Like two things that argue upon contact, my mother and smallest brother argue upon contact. The sink in the bathroom is a complete MESS! there is floss and a gasp! TEETH WHITENING strip in the SINK! The questions ensue. "Did you do this?" The answer is, "No." From everyone. This will not do. The detective cap is flung out from the drawers and thrown on my mother's head. I, being trustworthy, am let off easy, and rightfully so. What business do I have with things like that? My brother who went with my brother is released on account of having an alibi. The youngest? He did it! He had to! But the only answers from him are annoyed "Noooooo"s and bratty "Oh myyyyy godddddddddd"s.
And so. The ghost probably did it.
