I originally posted this in the Disco Room a little bit ago when fragbait said he wanted us to tell him a story, but I figured, "Hey, why not show the rest of the people on Smashboards our awesome story?"
So anyway, a couple months ago during our free time with nothing to do at school, a friend and I decided to write the lamest possible fan fiction ever while still making it at least look like we tried. It started when we learned we could make little accents over letters by holding a letter on my iTouch so I randomly typed "Jo?e Jalepeño on a Steek." Then my friend typed a couple random sentences relating to a thread RedHalberd made about Green Diddy with a reference to Ke$ha's song Tik Tok and then this just spiraled out of control. Although I'm pretty sure we didn't make the lamest fanfic ever, I think we did a pretty good job at making one that was at least close.
All we had to write this on was my stupid iTouch, so it was a ***** to type up and we purposely left accidental errors or automatic word changes by the iTouch's spell check. Some things we just spelled wrong on purpose, but spelling is the last thing you'll likely care about while reading this.
But without further delay, I present to you The Life Story of Canada. Hang on tight, it's a long ride.
The Life Story of Canada
By Zajice and Spelt
PART 1
Jo?e Jalepeño on a Steek woke up in the mornin feeling like green
diddy says Redhalberd. Stop tah tah talkin bout nah ah ah. And so
Jo?e went up to Sasuke and sasuke said the party don't start till I
walk out of the closet. Jo?e said cool story, bra. Sasuke said that he
likes to have pink bananas with lime rice and cake that tastes like
apples when you throw them at dead babies. And with that they decided
to team up and fight crime in the mushroom kingdom. There they met up
with the Jonas brothers and they decided to also team up too also.
From then on, Jo?e was called Jo?enas Brother. Sasuke wasn't
important enough to be a Jonas brother and became their sidekick with
Awesome emo ninja powers of them. After forming their group they went
the magiclawl awesome lady gaga of googoo land to find out what their
first mission is. Lady gagagagagahahahahahahagaga told them to shut up
and drive.
They drove back to hyrule to rescue princess zero suit peach. They
used their power of luv to beat the teenage mutant ninja koopas.
Eventually sasukay got jealous and said "I'm not important to you guys
I'm gonna golisten to MCR I hate you I quit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He found
naruto and they teamed up as rivals against the jo?enas brothers.
An atom contains neutrons, protons, and electrons.
Sasuke and Naruto also went to lady gargar for advice as well, and she
said let's have some fun this beat is sick and I wanna take on your
disco stick. Sasuke said okay and with that they went to find the
colored thing who does cool stuff on the mountain of things.
Suddenly Edward appeared and entered with awesome sparkle power. He
professed his love for sasuke and they totally made out and. Then they
started to climb the mountain.
The jo?enas brothers entered the first dungeon and encountered the
dungeon spider. It attacked them with fiercely and jones 1 was
severely injured. The brothers sad. So then Harry Potter came to help
them. He expectus patronomed the spider and died. They got the first
crystal to open the castleto save power suit Zelda.
PART 2
Dear diary,
Today I ate food and went places then slept. The jo?enas brothers
researched the meta knight vs. diddy matchup so they know to end
tornado to the edge. Princess Save Me found bugs bunny, kirby, axel,
Roxas, and solid snake playing chess. Kirby has bridget checkmated
with choo choo shoe jutsu. Master chief lost all his pawns but he
still had his snickers so he was still cool. Navi said hey you.
Lady gaag came to the princess and informed her of the jo?enas
brothers coming to save her to rescue to save her. She gasped hapily.
"What about mario?" she asked. "Mario is so happy he could die." and
then Mario started his quest to save princess samus.
"what are you doing here loser?" Sasuke shooted at Mario . "I'ma save
the prince Zelda!" saucekay told Mario he wouldn't get far with the
jo?enas brothers in the way. Help me beat them and you will save her.
Mario agreed and he became a ninja of the sharingan clan of ninjas.
With that they traveled to dreamland to find the blowing tree.
Jo?enas brothers walked to castle. They were in the process of taking
Spanish class when the monster of steak attaced them. Brother #1 is
scared and ran away. They sad. Jo?e lost his stick. Everything was
falling apart. Wah ;_;. They died and lost a life. They now had .3
lives. They went back to level one to farm marios. Hakumen jump C'd.
The brothers raged about hockeyman not wearing a purity ring. And so
they begin dungeon 2.
Dungeon 2 was in dreamland. They went inside and solved really hard
riddles. There was an evil monster in the way. "Too pass you must
solve my riddle. What's my name?" Mario guessed said hell. Sasukay
said Stacy. Edward said her. Naruto said Jane. "that's not my name
that's not my name that's not my. name. That's not my ........ Name.
Are
You
Calling
Me
Darling"
then the demon died.
They found meta knight inside. He started using tornado, so Harry
potter reverse naded inside of it. "HOW DID YOU KNOW" meta knight
screamed. "we read the meta knight vs diddy matchup" "NOOOOOOOOOO" he
yelled. Meta knight accidentally up b'd off the side of stage and
SD'd. They obtained the 2nd triforce to open the keyhole to princess
bowser.
PART 3
Kirby and his gang of chess loving nerds of the round
cubekaboktahedron continued playing chess. Exciting.
princess save me went to hot topic to but some totally rad earrings to
where to the I've got big balls ball. There she met mr cool who wasn't
really that cool... But he had that thing that is kind of like a
blanket but at the same time a robe, so princess was jel.
The jo?enas brothers got lost in world 4 level 3. They didn't know
they had to Bounce on one koopa then bounce on fourteen baby geese to
play PAC man. Waka waka waka waka waka waka waka waka wAka waka waka
waka waka waka waka waka waka waka waka waka and then they got bored.
All of the sudden Pacman turned into a girl who appeared on one
episode of House. She told the brothers that they need to drink some
red flavored powerade to not get eaten by slightly large ish
alligators who like tacos.
Saaasoookeee and his girlfriend Edward followed the Jo?enas brothers
from dreamland after visiting the blowing tree, who granted them magic
apples. These apples gave them the power to turn into vampires. Mario
now had the ability to shoot sparkle balls, naruto became kyubipire,
sasuke got sexier, and edward became a double sexypire and sparkled
even harder. They wrer now called the vamps and did battle without
their shirts on.
"Alright Jo?enas brothers! Were gonna take down you!" sauce soouted.
Then Harry potter summoned master chief from the chess world and he
shouted at Edward with his guns. Edward's sexy deflected them and they
hit Jonas #3. They sad. "It's tooo much we have to run" yelled the
lead singer if Queen, who decided to join the group just now. So they
ran into the hollow bastion to get away.
Kirby moved his rook two spots forward. Still extremely exciting
amirite?
Bridget got bored of chess so he joined princess save me at the ball.
They danced. They did the chicken, the monkey, the macarena, the
twist, the sprinkler, the drunken lobster, the corpse, the alphabet,
aaaaaaaaaand the your mom. BUT THEN Hayley Williams attacked them
because they did not get their shovels. You can't dig a deep hole
without shovels.
Hayley was so angry went to have sex with ke$ha.
Aka Wario, WAH WAH WAH.
Meyreeoooh shot sparkle balls at goombas while sexkay and naru******
jumps on skoopas to advance to the next level. Buuuut this turned out
to be a boss level. But they didn't have fire flowers so they
restarted the level over again. They won, onto the next level. This is
where there is a giant plot twist that destroys everything you believe
in. Have fun.
They entered hollow bastion which is where princess Marth was being
held by bowser. They found sora fighting heartless and he though the
Jo?enas bros were heartless so he punched them with his big bent fork.
Jonas #2 got hurt so they sad. They ran away into dungeon 3. Sasskay
chased after them. Sora joined them to fight the heartless and had an
apple to make him a vampire.
Bowser was inside and he attacked with his firebreath. Harry potter
just narrowly dodged but landed on master chief. They were aboutto be
killed but suddenly sawsekar attacked him. "Only I get to kill the
jo?enas brothers!!" so the two teams teamed up. Vamps and the Jo?enas
bros! They all used their final smashes but bowser still lived.
"there's only one way to beat him. I will sacrifice myself to beat
him!" he used his shoe Jew jutsu and fused with him to become
sasukebowser! "and now I will kill you loser bros. The qJo bros
grabbed the 3st power star to open the big castle and ran off before
they could fight.
PART 4
Go, Squirtle! Use splash. Then kill them. Take out their hearts and
eat their livers. Om nom nom nom.
PART 5
SauceKay Bowser slowly entered the ring of light radiating from the
floor. He felt a strong gust of wind as he gradually floated into the
air. Then suddenly a flash of white.
His eyes were blinded for a moment as the bright sun hit his eyes. He
covered his eyes and called for his comrades.
"Come on Sauce, the Jo?enas brothers are getting away," Edward pleaded
as he grabbed SauceKay Bowser's arm, motioning for him to keep moving.
They began to run but suddenly Sauce stopped in his tracks.
"I have a better idea," he muttered with a smirk on his face. With a
snap of his fingers, the ground around him shook and began to glimmer
with radient light. A circle formed around them and the ground began
to rise and float in the air.
"Gentlemen, welcome to my clown car!"
**** your car, we'll walk. Said srskay. I have bananas. B A N A N A S.
Let's put these bananas to good use.
They preceded to stuff the bananas in master roshis mouth. This
unlocked the magical door to narnia. Ash, misty and brick. Wakked out.
Ash used his astral finish to kill naruto. addisionward and kisskay
lived happily ever after. Jesus died as an aftershock to the astral
to. Break and mistee caught giratuna.
Then jesus rose again and hesent ash to the 6rd layer of he'll, the
city of dis(co room). Brick astley and misty sad. They sent giratuna
after Jesus but he pulled out his magic ak47 and shot mewtwo. Mewtwo
then used his aura sphere on giratuna and killed it. Brawrk ran away
to go breed with his vulpix and misty died in the blast. Jeebus sent
her to layer 3 for being a dumb****.
Jo?enas brothers are having a birthday party so they automatically
obtain the fourth parking ticket. Now they get to be doing that
entering of castles to save princess save me zero suit marth bowser
samus girl.
Eh, **** how this story is going. Onto
the next dungoeon. and that reminds me, where the **** did Jo?e go. Eh
I'll get to that later. Aaaaaaaaaaanyway they entered the dungeon.
They jumped on tree trunks to get to the top the church. There they
met king kong. He informed them that lady g dawg got lost in her
closet so she wasn't there to give them her wisdom. And he told them
to take a bottle of windex to mr sage popo. There they will found
their 5thd phAllic object. They continued on their way to the inside
of the church gungeon to get this stupid baby. Uuuuugh effort. ****
this plot.
Sasukebowser decided this plot was ****ing stupid too and decided he
was done never catching up to the jo?enas brothers and telepotatoed
his team to dungeon 5 to sit and wait for thm.
Jo?e magically reappeared in the story and went into dungeon 4 first
but he was eaten by gandalf the grey who confused him for dinner.
There. Now he's dead. But the jo?enas brothers lived on in memory of
our sticked vegetable. They sad.
Inside the dungeon they found a closet. They summoned r Kelly to hlep
them open but he wouldn't come out of the closet after he went in.
Lady gorgenheimer falcon punched him and used him as a projectile to
break open the closet. "give us wisdom said Harry potter" lady
gorgoroth said bad romance lalalal bad romance alalalal bad romanc e
lalalalalal end of song and they were satisfied. They entered the boss
room with their new noledge and were ready to fight sephiroth.
Lady gaygay wan towards sepiroth. But she fells. She sad. She grabbed
the dirt at her knees and threw it at him. He blinded and sad. She
thrusted her disco stick. Jo?enas brothers used helping hand. Lady
gooey chooey did the wave and made sepiroth cry. Then she pumped
slapped him to show him/her that he's not her bottom *****. Her disco
stick was running out of power so she flew around the room hunting
**** Cheneys friend to recharge it. Jonas brothers sad. Then she
finished him off with ghijlmnopagas super special awesome HUH
technique that is not an innuendo. She got the 5th phallic object but
the jo?enas brothers stole it because they need it more. Lololol3l gay
joke.
PART 6
Kirby ate the chess board and turned intonation a queen. Axel took
Kirby and checkmated solid snake. Snake dacused to get away but he got
trapped by tornado. Kirby ate Axel hair because it looked like a
cucumber. Then he turned into a can of beans. Axel got a hair cut. He
wanted more of a Britney spears look but it ended up being a Bryan
from family guy look. Britney spears found out and sued Axel for
stealing her hairstyle.
Josie and he pussycat brothers decided to let
ghagarghargrwrshagAgagaga join them on their adventure. they had a
foursome. They foursomed aaaaall the way to king kong to figure out
where the sixteenth churro.
Today my boyfriend hurt my feelings but it's okay cause I killed his
cat.
So you know that one episode of animaniacs where they run around the
mall and those two *****es keep bugging them about beans and George
Wendt? Yeah Fifi la Fume was in that one. She sold perfume and ****.
They had obsession, repression, and ECSTACY. Feefs is pretty hot
amirite? Like, I'd totally hit that.
Sarsekat was totally bored of waiting so he went inside the dungeon to
fight the boss for kicks. The boss was Andy Sandberg and he was on a
boat mother ****er take a look at him. "alright Sinz I'm tired of you
being like a boss! Let's duel!" So swasskaybrowser took out his
pokemon cards. "you can't beat me" yelled Andy sinzberg. He got in his
pink gigabot like a boss. Soosekey summoned dark magicianchu and made
it use water gun. It wasn't very effective. Sinzberg made an explosion
but didn't look at it cause cool guys don't look at exploSions.
Hotsauce used his mod powers to edit the explosion away and then
summoned exodia. Instant win. "you were onl like a boss. You'll never
be a real boss" Sinz went back to the disco room, defeated, but still
awesome. Sasukebowser got the 6th jiggy to open the puzzle to princess
save me. Looks like the Jo bros got **** blocked.
Jo?enas brothers went on their way to andys castle. There they met a
guy who was making a pacman guide. He was on part two, where he
explains how you navigate around the walls to collect dots and obtain
points until you get all of the dots and then you go to the next level
to do It all over again. They took his pacman shortcut to the castle.
They were there.
They went inside awhile lady music singer sang a song. She likes to
singa. About The Muna and the juna and the springa. Sasukeboozer wuz
thur. Taime to fight saucyturtle said. Jonas brither went uurgh. They
fought. There was injuries, sad, and blood. They one +1 halo for them.
Woooooooooooooooooooo.
Next dungeon pl0x.
PART 7
This is part 7. Just incase you didn't know.
Princess what's-her-**** was totally tired of this big balls ball so
she like, blew that joint. Bridget was like WTF and like went after
her and stuff. "Hey princess why you all leavin and junk??" peach
like, sad and stuff. "nobody wants to hang with me and mr cool is just
a gay guy!!!" Bridget sad faced. "hey ***** you look kawaii!!!!!!!!"
"rely bridge? You think" so they went back to castle and played
checkers with Kirby and his knights. Solid snake was like totally
hating and stuuf so he hid in his box.
VCR. I just typed that while trying to get a hair off this touch
screen. Anyway jo?enas brothers stopped to play poker after their win
against ninjakoopa. Lacy annoying kept talking about how you can't
read her poker face. Everyone got pissed and kicked out her if group.
"googooogaga ah rarama lalalal ga" she said very sad-ish. She
continued to follow them anyway. Just like ten feet behind.
Suddenly these two *****es popped up and were like YOU WANNA TAKE A
SURVEY????!!!)$?!?!?$?!! So they talked about beans. And movies with
George Wendt. And eating beans with George Wendt. And movies with
George Wendt eating beans. And eating George wendt's beans. And eating
beans with George wendt at the movies. Then the josenas bros threw
them down the hole.
W
That was a productive paragraph btw.
The jo?enas got to hat route in blue and red where here's a snorlax
blocking the way. They were all like waaaaaaat do we do. Lady gaga
(yes I did her name right) lawled at them behind a tree. Master chef
was walking by and decided to help them. But all of a sudden cloud
popped out of nowhere and was flying towards master disaster with his
sword durrrr. He was yelling about them killng his loover. Out of
nowhere a traffic cone came smacked him in he head. He dead. He
deaaaad I tell you. Dead. DEAD STOP CRYING STUPID HES DEAD AND NEVER
COMING BACK.
Master handkerchief shot shot snorlax with a shotgun.?!,'"@&$)(;:/-_
Jo?enas brothers were so happy they invited señorita gágá back to
the group, but she was too busy exchanging bullets with bayonetta.
Bayonetta went all ninja and punched a guy off his motercycle. She
stole it and drove it through a window into a church, where master
chief found God. So he became mastor pastor and learned white magic.
He became the party's healer. The lead singer of Queen was like "cool"
There was a secret entrence to dungeon 7 behind the jeebus cross. They
went inside and found the 1st colossus. Jonas 1 raised his sword and
it shown it's pretty light at the colossus. It hit Jonas 3 in the eyes
so he sad (it's a running gag thing, I think they get it now).
Bayonetta ran up to It and it swung it's arm at her. She dodged and
used witch time so she could do some ninja ****. She spun her sword in
a circle and charged her laser. It hit for massive damAge. The 47473
foot tall building stepped On Harry potter so he stood still to
regenerate health. The answer lies within the beam *****. The colossus
tripped on lady ga and he hit his head on a wall and dead. They got
the 7th fairy to open the stuff.
PART 8
Harry potter had a lamb. E I E I O. On his farm they had sex. EIEIO.
One clack clack two clack clack cluck duck ****.
Jo?enas brothers were exhausted so they went to the pokemon center to
recharge. They opened the door and the guilty gear xx accent core plus
opening was playing. They went **** you because it isn't animated.
They pressed start and there was a match of Bridget and nurse joy.
Nurse joy
Summoned exodia and Bridget combos 2 dust into 2 dust. Josenas
brothers joined in but the game got destroyed by fail and it froze.
Wow. I'm like... stuck on this story right now.
Wait not anymore. They left the pokerface center and headed to the big
city of raccoon city. There were zombies so they were like "****" and
jonas 2 got bited. He sad. They ran inside the mansion. A zombie
ambushed them and stole their pop tarts. Now they had no pop
tarts. ;_____________;
They blew up the mAnsion with a nuke to kill the zombies, and escAped
in a helicopter but they wanted to get the big scoop so they landed on
the mall.
Frank west shot lady qaqa with his megA buster but she deflected it
with her disco stick and it hit bob saget. He raged at the olsen twins
and threw them at the zombies. Then they all get eated.
Swastikakay and his band of vampire ninjas did battle with the zombies
on top of a pirate ship. Sora hit things with his bent fork. They got
shot at by bombs and Mario got KO'd at a low percent so he banned that
stage from getting counter picked. **** pirate ship.
Josenas that did things it and stuff. People were thingms that things
with stuff and Jose took heir butter he were hungry. ******s came like
fish water.
The josenas brothers were at donegun eight. Yakko wakko and dot were
waiting. Inside. Jonas brother summoned master chin. He **** them.
They dodged and killed lay gagas baby. She was maaaaaaaaaaaad. He
Jonas brothers went to the kitchen to make lady gag a sandwich while
she mourned for her pikachu. Master cheeks got her a bouquet of
flours. Wakka yakko and dot sad. They sung lovegame. Lad goo angered
and smacked their faces with can of brussels sprouts. They obtained
the eighth whathe****ever.
PART 9
Josenas brothers web to game and watches castle and nined him. The end.
Ok not really but god ****, this is like 9 chapters in. Jesus Christ
this thing is long.
The josenas brothers had all 8 **** its and now it was time to face
the final boss. They traveled across the land, searching far and wide.
These pokemon to understand THE POWER THATS INSIDE. They got to
perfecto prep, the evil high school where princess
utudejrjrurieiqofjowi was being held.
There were as army of teenagers complaining about their problems
because high school is such a serious thing. These problems matter.
"We must beat the teenage"rs! Yelled mastor pastor. The teenagers
attacked by channeling their angst through eachotger and shooting
angst lazars.
Suddenly squashkay appeared. "You have bested us Josenas brothers. We
cant win so We help you fight the teenagers!" So they teemed up to
fight the army.
Shooshkay spread rumor about the girls and thy started catfighting
like dogs and turtles. Then there were only he guys left. Josenas
brothers walked up to them and he teens went all "**** those girls I'm
not touching them. The battle was over.
The ventured on. The principal stopped them And asked fir their hall
pass. And then spanked them for not having them. Sockay was kind of
turned on. Sailor moon came in and defended brothers from super evil
make me do homework by throwing her fierce moon at her.
Kirby ate sailor munn and became sailor puff. It ate it's tiara. It
respawned. It ate it's tiara. It respawned. Jonas facepalmed. So did
hitler. Wait ... Hither wasn't introduced yet. :| oh well I guess it's
tile to fight.
Final boss. It was........ HITL4R. Hitlar was all angry because they
ruined his high school dance. 5The big balls ball. Sailor poof went
back to playing checkers with axel. Axel got his king to the other
side of the board and rolled a yahtzee so he won his bingo.
Soosethemoosekay summoned exodia again, but exodia was Jewish so
Hilter was immune. The Jonas brothers ran on stage to sing bad battle
music while
Bayonetta charged her laser sword again. Hootler pulled out his oven
and Mario got burned but he didn't die because he had a fireflower.
Bayonetta got punched by the Nazi groupies and it interupyed her laser.
Hitler seemed unbeatable!!!!!! He came for mastor pastor but he pulled
out his bible and preached the word of god. Hitler was paralyzed. He
couldn't fight mastor pastor because there was no Jew in him.
Hitler exploded and the josenas brothers saved the princess.
Then the government nuked this story for being so ****ing stupid and everybody died. Especially that Austin kid. Screw that guy. The end.
So anyway, a couple months ago during our free time with nothing to do at school, a friend and I decided to write the lamest possible fan fiction ever while still making it at least look like we tried. It started when we learned we could make little accents over letters by holding a letter on my iTouch so I randomly typed "Jo?e Jalepeño on a Steek." Then my friend typed a couple random sentences relating to a thread RedHalberd made about Green Diddy with a reference to Ke$ha's song Tik Tok and then this just spiraled out of control. Although I'm pretty sure we didn't make the lamest fanfic ever, I think we did a pretty good job at making one that was at least close.
All we had to write this on was my stupid iTouch, so it was a ***** to type up and we purposely left accidental errors or automatic word changes by the iTouch's spell check. Some things we just spelled wrong on purpose, but spelling is the last thing you'll likely care about while reading this.
But without further delay, I present to you The Life Story of Canada. Hang on tight, it's a long ride.
The Life Story of Canada
By Zajice and Spelt
PART 1
Jo?e Jalepeño on a Steek woke up in the mornin feeling like green
diddy says Redhalberd. Stop tah tah talkin bout nah ah ah. And so
Jo?e went up to Sasuke and sasuke said the party don't start till I
walk out of the closet. Jo?e said cool story, bra. Sasuke said that he
likes to have pink bananas with lime rice and cake that tastes like
apples when you throw them at dead babies. And with that they decided
to team up and fight crime in the mushroom kingdom. There they met up
with the Jonas brothers and they decided to also team up too also.
From then on, Jo?e was called Jo?enas Brother. Sasuke wasn't
important enough to be a Jonas brother and became their sidekick with
Awesome emo ninja powers of them. After forming their group they went
the magiclawl awesome lady gaga of googoo land to find out what their
first mission is. Lady gagagagagahahahahahahagaga told them to shut up
and drive.
They drove back to hyrule to rescue princess zero suit peach. They
used their power of luv to beat the teenage mutant ninja koopas.
Eventually sasukay got jealous and said "I'm not important to you guys
I'm gonna golisten to MCR I hate you I quit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He found
naruto and they teamed up as rivals against the jo?enas brothers.
An atom contains neutrons, protons, and electrons.
Sasuke and Naruto also went to lady gargar for advice as well, and she
said let's have some fun this beat is sick and I wanna take on your
disco stick. Sasuke said okay and with that they went to find the
colored thing who does cool stuff on the mountain of things.
Suddenly Edward appeared and entered with awesome sparkle power. He
professed his love for sasuke and they totally made out and. Then they
started to climb the mountain.
The jo?enas brothers entered the first dungeon and encountered the
dungeon spider. It attacked them with fiercely and jones 1 was
severely injured. The brothers sad. So then Harry Potter came to help
them. He expectus patronomed the spider and died. They got the first
crystal to open the castleto save power suit Zelda.
PART 2
Dear diary,
Today I ate food and went places then slept. The jo?enas brothers
researched the meta knight vs. diddy matchup so they know to end
tornado to the edge. Princess Save Me found bugs bunny, kirby, axel,
Roxas, and solid snake playing chess. Kirby has bridget checkmated
with choo choo shoe jutsu. Master chief lost all his pawns but he
still had his snickers so he was still cool. Navi said hey you.
Lady gaag came to the princess and informed her of the jo?enas
brothers coming to save her to rescue to save her. She gasped hapily.
"What about mario?" she asked. "Mario is so happy he could die." and
then Mario started his quest to save princess samus.
"what are you doing here loser?" Sasuke shooted at Mario . "I'ma save
the prince Zelda!" saucekay told Mario he wouldn't get far with the
jo?enas brothers in the way. Help me beat them and you will save her.
Mario agreed and he became a ninja of the sharingan clan of ninjas.
With that they traveled to dreamland to find the blowing tree.
Jo?enas brothers walked to castle. They were in the process of taking
Spanish class when the monster of steak attaced them. Brother #1 is
scared and ran away. They sad. Jo?e lost his stick. Everything was
falling apart. Wah ;_;. They died and lost a life. They now had .3
lives. They went back to level one to farm marios. Hakumen jump C'd.
The brothers raged about hockeyman not wearing a purity ring. And so
they begin dungeon 2.
Dungeon 2 was in dreamland. They went inside and solved really hard
riddles. There was an evil monster in the way. "Too pass you must
solve my riddle. What's my name?" Mario guessed said hell. Sasukay
said Stacy. Edward said her. Naruto said Jane. "that's not my name
that's not my name that's not my. name. That's not my ........ Name.
Are
You
Calling
Me
Darling"
then the demon died.
They found meta knight inside. He started using tornado, so Harry
potter reverse naded inside of it. "HOW DID YOU KNOW" meta knight
screamed. "we read the meta knight vs diddy matchup" "NOOOOOOOOOO" he
yelled. Meta knight accidentally up b'd off the side of stage and
SD'd. They obtained the 2nd triforce to open the keyhole to princess
bowser.
PART 3
Kirby and his gang of chess loving nerds of the round
cubekaboktahedron continued playing chess. Exciting.
princess save me went to hot topic to but some totally rad earrings to
where to the I've got big balls ball. There she met mr cool who wasn't
really that cool... But he had that thing that is kind of like a
blanket but at the same time a robe, so princess was jel.
The jo?enas brothers got lost in world 4 level 3. They didn't know
they had to Bounce on one koopa then bounce on fourteen baby geese to
play PAC man. Waka waka waka waka waka waka waka waka wAka waka waka
waka waka waka waka waka waka waka waka waka and then they got bored.
All of the sudden Pacman turned into a girl who appeared on one
episode of House. She told the brothers that they need to drink some
red flavored powerade to not get eaten by slightly large ish
alligators who like tacos.
Saaasoookeee and his girlfriend Edward followed the Jo?enas brothers
from dreamland after visiting the blowing tree, who granted them magic
apples. These apples gave them the power to turn into vampires. Mario
now had the ability to shoot sparkle balls, naruto became kyubipire,
sasuke got sexier, and edward became a double sexypire and sparkled
even harder. They wrer now called the vamps and did battle without
their shirts on.
"Alright Jo?enas brothers! Were gonna take down you!" sauce soouted.
Then Harry potter summoned master chief from the chess world and he
shouted at Edward with his guns. Edward's sexy deflected them and they
hit Jonas #3. They sad. "It's tooo much we have to run" yelled the
lead singer if Queen, who decided to join the group just now. So they
ran into the hollow bastion to get away.
Kirby moved his rook two spots forward. Still extremely exciting
amirite?
Bridget got bored of chess so he joined princess save me at the ball.
They danced. They did the chicken, the monkey, the macarena, the
twist, the sprinkler, the drunken lobster, the corpse, the alphabet,
aaaaaaaaaand the your mom. BUT THEN Hayley Williams attacked them
because they did not get their shovels. You can't dig a deep hole
without shovels.
Hayley was so angry went to have sex with ke$ha.Aka Wario, WAH WAH WAH.
Meyreeoooh shot sparkle balls at goombas while sexkay and naru******
jumps on skoopas to advance to the next level. Buuuut this turned out
to be a boss level. But they didn't have fire flowers so they
restarted the level over again. They won, onto the next level. This is
where there is a giant plot twist that destroys everything you believe
in. Have fun.
They entered hollow bastion which is where princess Marth was being
held by bowser. They found sora fighting heartless and he though the
Jo?enas bros were heartless so he punched them with his big bent fork.
Jonas #2 got hurt so they sad. They ran away into dungeon 3. Sasskay
chased after them. Sora joined them to fight the heartless and had an
apple to make him a vampire.
Bowser was inside and he attacked with his firebreath. Harry potter
just narrowly dodged but landed on master chief. They were aboutto be
killed but suddenly sawsekar attacked him. "Only I get to kill the
jo?enas brothers!!" so the two teams teamed up. Vamps and the Jo?enas
bros! They all used their final smashes but bowser still lived.
"there's only one way to beat him. I will sacrifice myself to beat
him!" he used his shoe Jew jutsu and fused with him to become
sasukebowser! "and now I will kill you loser bros. The qJo bros
grabbed the 3st power star to open the big castle and ran off before
they could fight.
PART 4
Go, Squirtle! Use splash. Then kill them. Take out their hearts and
eat their livers. Om nom nom nom.
PART 5
SauceKay Bowser slowly entered the ring of light radiating from the
floor. He felt a strong gust of wind as he gradually floated into the
air. Then suddenly a flash of white.
His eyes were blinded for a moment as the bright sun hit his eyes. He
covered his eyes and called for his comrades.
"Come on Sauce, the Jo?enas brothers are getting away," Edward pleaded
as he grabbed SauceKay Bowser's arm, motioning for him to keep moving.
They began to run but suddenly Sauce stopped in his tracks.
"I have a better idea," he muttered with a smirk on his face. With a
snap of his fingers, the ground around him shook and began to glimmer
with radient light. A circle formed around them and the ground began
to rise and float in the air.
"Gentlemen, welcome to my clown car!"
**** your car, we'll walk. Said srskay. I have bananas. B A N A N A S.
Let's put these bananas to good use.
They preceded to stuff the bananas in master roshis mouth. This
unlocked the magical door to narnia. Ash, misty and brick. Wakked out.
Ash used his astral finish to kill naruto. addisionward and kisskay
lived happily ever after. Jesus died as an aftershock to the astral
to. Break and mistee caught giratuna.
Then jesus rose again and hesent ash to the 6rd layer of he'll, the
city of dis(co room). Brick astley and misty sad. They sent giratuna
after Jesus but he pulled out his magic ak47 and shot mewtwo. Mewtwo
then used his aura sphere on giratuna and killed it. Brawrk ran away
to go breed with his vulpix and misty died in the blast. Jeebus sent
her to layer 3 for being a dumb****.
Jo?enas brothers are having a birthday party so they automatically
obtain the fourth parking ticket. Now they get to be doing that
entering of castles to save princess save me zero suit marth bowser
samus girl.
Eh, **** how this story is going. Onto
the next dungoeon. and that reminds me, where the **** did Jo?e go. Eh
I'll get to that later. Aaaaaaaaaaanyway they entered the dungeon.
They jumped on tree trunks to get to the top the church. There they
met king kong. He informed them that lady g dawg got lost in her
closet so she wasn't there to give them her wisdom. And he told them
to take a bottle of windex to mr sage popo. There they will found
their 5thd phAllic object. They continued on their way to the inside
of the church gungeon to get this stupid baby. Uuuuugh effort. ****
this plot.
Sasukebowser decided this plot was ****ing stupid too and decided he
was done never catching up to the jo?enas brothers and telepotatoed
his team to dungeon 5 to sit and wait for thm.
Jo?e magically reappeared in the story and went into dungeon 4 first
but he was eaten by gandalf the grey who confused him for dinner.
There. Now he's dead. But the jo?enas brothers lived on in memory of
our sticked vegetable. They sad.
Inside the dungeon they found a closet. They summoned r Kelly to hlep
them open but he wouldn't come out of the closet after he went in.
Lady gorgenheimer falcon punched him and used him as a projectile to
break open the closet. "give us wisdom said Harry potter" lady
gorgoroth said bad romance lalalal bad romance alalalal bad romanc e
lalalalalal end of song and they were satisfied. They entered the boss
room with their new noledge and were ready to fight sephiroth.
Lady gaygay wan towards sepiroth. But she fells. She sad. She grabbed
the dirt at her knees and threw it at him. He blinded and sad. She
thrusted her disco stick. Jo?enas brothers used helping hand. Lady
gooey chooey did the wave and made sepiroth cry. Then she pumped
slapped him to show him/her that he's not her bottom *****. Her disco
stick was running out of power so she flew around the room hunting
**** Cheneys friend to recharge it. Jonas brothers sad. Then she
finished him off with ghijlmnopagas super special awesome HUH
technique that is not an innuendo. She got the 5th phallic object but
the jo?enas brothers stole it because they need it more. Lololol3l gay
joke.
PART 6
Kirby ate the chess board and turned intonation a queen. Axel took
Kirby and checkmated solid snake. Snake dacused to get away but he got
trapped by tornado. Kirby ate Axel hair because it looked like a
cucumber. Then he turned into a can of beans. Axel got a hair cut. He
wanted more of a Britney spears look but it ended up being a Bryan
from family guy look. Britney spears found out and sued Axel for
stealing her hairstyle.
Josie and he pussycat brothers decided to let
ghagarghargrwrshagAgagaga join them on their adventure. they had a
foursome. They foursomed aaaaall the way to king kong to figure out
where the sixteenth churro.
Today my boyfriend hurt my feelings but it's okay cause I killed his
cat.
So you know that one episode of animaniacs where they run around the
mall and those two *****es keep bugging them about beans and George
Wendt? Yeah Fifi la Fume was in that one. She sold perfume and ****.
They had obsession, repression, and ECSTACY. Feefs is pretty hot
amirite? Like, I'd totally hit that.
Sarsekat was totally bored of waiting so he went inside the dungeon to
fight the boss for kicks. The boss was Andy Sandberg and he was on a
boat mother ****er take a look at him. "alright Sinz I'm tired of you
being like a boss! Let's duel!" So swasskaybrowser took out his
pokemon cards. "you can't beat me" yelled Andy sinzberg. He got in his
pink gigabot like a boss. Soosekey summoned dark magicianchu and made
it use water gun. It wasn't very effective. Sinzberg made an explosion
but didn't look at it cause cool guys don't look at exploSions.
Hotsauce used his mod powers to edit the explosion away and then
summoned exodia. Instant win. "you were onl like a boss. You'll never
be a real boss" Sinz went back to the disco room, defeated, but still
awesome. Sasukebowser got the 6th jiggy to open the puzzle to princess
save me. Looks like the Jo bros got **** blocked.
Jo?enas brothers went on their way to andys castle. There they met a
guy who was making a pacman guide. He was on part two, where he
explains how you navigate around the walls to collect dots and obtain
points until you get all of the dots and then you go to the next level
to do It all over again. They took his pacman shortcut to the castle.
They were there.
They went inside awhile lady music singer sang a song. She likes to
singa. About The Muna and the juna and the springa. Sasukeboozer wuz
thur. Taime to fight saucyturtle said. Jonas brither went uurgh. They
fought. There was injuries, sad, and blood. They one +1 halo for them.
Woooooooooooooooooooo.
Next dungeon pl0x.
PART 7
This is part 7. Just incase you didn't know.
Princess what's-her-**** was totally tired of this big balls ball so
she like, blew that joint. Bridget was like WTF and like went after
her and stuff. "Hey princess why you all leavin and junk??" peach
like, sad and stuff. "nobody wants to hang with me and mr cool is just
a gay guy!!!" Bridget sad faced. "hey ***** you look kawaii!!!!!!!!"
"rely bridge? You think" so they went back to castle and played
checkers with Kirby and his knights. Solid snake was like totally
hating and stuuf so he hid in his box.
VCR. I just typed that while trying to get a hair off this touch
screen. Anyway jo?enas brothers stopped to play poker after their win
against ninjakoopa. Lacy annoying kept talking about how you can't
read her poker face. Everyone got pissed and kicked out her if group.
"googooogaga ah rarama lalalal ga" she said very sad-ish. She
continued to follow them anyway. Just like ten feet behind.
Suddenly these two *****es popped up and were like YOU WANNA TAKE A
SURVEY????!!!)$?!?!?$?!! So they talked about beans. And movies with
George Wendt. And eating beans with George Wendt. And movies with
George Wendt eating beans. And eating George wendt's beans. And eating
beans with George wendt at the movies. Then the josenas bros threw
them down the hole.
W
That was a productive paragraph btw.
The jo?enas got to hat route in blue and red where here's a snorlax
blocking the way. They were all like waaaaaaat do we do. Lady gaga
(yes I did her name right) lawled at them behind a tree. Master chef
was walking by and decided to help them. But all of a sudden cloud
popped out of nowhere and was flying towards master disaster with his
sword durrrr. He was yelling about them killng his loover. Out of
nowhere a traffic cone came smacked him in he head. He dead. He
deaaaad I tell you. Dead. DEAD STOP CRYING STUPID HES DEAD AND NEVER
COMING BACK.
Master handkerchief shot shot snorlax with a shotgun.?!,'"@&$)(;:/-_
Jo?enas brothers were so happy they invited señorita gágá back to
the group, but she was too busy exchanging bullets with bayonetta.
Bayonetta went all ninja and punched a guy off his motercycle. She
stole it and drove it through a window into a church, where master
chief found God. So he became mastor pastor and learned white magic.
He became the party's healer. The lead singer of Queen was like "cool"
There was a secret entrence to dungeon 7 behind the jeebus cross. They
went inside and found the 1st colossus. Jonas 1 raised his sword and
it shown it's pretty light at the colossus. It hit Jonas 3 in the eyes
so he sad (it's a running gag thing, I think they get it now).
Bayonetta ran up to It and it swung it's arm at her. She dodged and
used witch time so she could do some ninja ****. She spun her sword in
a circle and charged her laser. It hit for massive damAge. The 47473
foot tall building stepped On Harry potter so he stood still to
regenerate health. The answer lies within the beam *****. The colossus
tripped on lady ga and he hit his head on a wall and dead. They got
the 7th fairy to open the stuff.
PART 8
Harry potter had a lamb. E I E I O. On his farm they had sex. EIEIO.
One clack clack two clack clack cluck duck ****.
Jo?enas brothers were exhausted so they went to the pokemon center to
recharge. They opened the door and the guilty gear xx accent core plus
opening was playing. They went **** you because it isn't animated.
They pressed start and there was a match of Bridget and nurse joy.
Nurse joy
Summoned exodia and Bridget combos 2 dust into 2 dust. Josenas
brothers joined in but the game got destroyed by fail and it froze.
Wow. I'm like... stuck on this story right now.
Wait not anymore. They left the pokerface center and headed to the big
city of raccoon city. There were zombies so they were like "****" and
jonas 2 got bited. He sad. They ran inside the mansion. A zombie
ambushed them and stole their pop tarts. Now they had no pop
tarts. ;_____________;
They blew up the mAnsion with a nuke to kill the zombies, and escAped
in a helicopter but they wanted to get the big scoop so they landed on
the mall.
Frank west shot lady qaqa with his megA buster but she deflected it
with her disco stick and it hit bob saget. He raged at the olsen twins
and threw them at the zombies. Then they all get eated.
Swastikakay and his band of vampire ninjas did battle with the zombies
on top of a pirate ship. Sora hit things with his bent fork. They got
shot at by bombs and Mario got KO'd at a low percent so he banned that
stage from getting counter picked. **** pirate ship.
Josenas that did things it and stuff. People were thingms that things
with stuff and Jose took heir butter he were hungry. ******s came like
fish water.
The josenas brothers were at donegun eight. Yakko wakko and dot were
waiting. Inside. Jonas brother summoned master chin. He **** them.
They dodged and killed lay gagas baby. She was maaaaaaaaaaaad. He
Jonas brothers went to the kitchen to make lady gag a sandwich while
she mourned for her pikachu. Master cheeks got her a bouquet of
flours. Wakka yakko and dot sad. They sung lovegame. Lad goo angered
and smacked their faces with can of brussels sprouts. They obtained
the eighth whathe****ever.
PART 9
Josenas brothers web to game and watches castle and nined him. The end.
Ok not really but god ****, this is like 9 chapters in. Jesus Christ
this thing is long.
The josenas brothers had all 8 **** its and now it was time to face
the final boss. They traveled across the land, searching far and wide.
These pokemon to understand THE POWER THATS INSIDE. They got to
perfecto prep, the evil high school where princess
utudejrjrurieiqofjowi was being held.
There were as army of teenagers complaining about their problems
because high school is such a serious thing. These problems matter.
"We must beat the teenage"rs! Yelled mastor pastor. The teenagers
attacked by channeling their angst through eachotger and shooting
angst lazars.
Suddenly squashkay appeared. "You have bested us Josenas brothers. We
cant win so We help you fight the teenagers!" So they teemed up to
fight the army.
Shooshkay spread rumor about the girls and thy started catfighting
like dogs and turtles. Then there were only he guys left. Josenas
brothers walked up to them and he teens went all "**** those girls I'm
not touching them. The battle was over.
The ventured on. The principal stopped them And asked fir their hall
pass. And then spanked them for not having them. Sockay was kind of
turned on. Sailor moon came in and defended brothers from super evil
make me do homework by throwing her fierce moon at her.
Kirby ate sailor munn and became sailor puff. It ate it's tiara. It
respawned. It ate it's tiara. It respawned. Jonas facepalmed. So did
hitler. Wait ... Hither wasn't introduced yet. :| oh well I guess it's
tile to fight.
Final boss. It was........ HITL4R. Hitlar was all angry because they
ruined his high school dance. 5The big balls ball. Sailor poof went
back to playing checkers with axel. Axel got his king to the other
side of the board and rolled a yahtzee so he won his bingo.
Soosethemoosekay summoned exodia again, but exodia was Jewish so
Hilter was immune. The Jonas brothers ran on stage to sing bad battle
music while
Bayonetta charged her laser sword again. Hootler pulled out his oven
and Mario got burned but he didn't die because he had a fireflower.
Bayonetta got punched by the Nazi groupies and it interupyed her laser.
Hitler seemed unbeatable!!!!!! He came for mastor pastor but he pulled
out his bible and preached the word of god. Hitler was paralyzed. He
couldn't fight mastor pastor because there was no Jew in him.
Hitler exploded and the josenas brothers saved the princess.
Then the government nuked this story for being so ****ing stupid and everybody died. Especially that Austin kid. Screw that guy. The end.
