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The Diaries of Mario

Sandy

Smash Champion
Joined
Jan 14, 2007
Messages
2,242
Location
North Georgia
This is a series of tales that you don't know about Mario. Everything is written from the words of Mario, take a look at part 1.

The Beginning

Hey it's Mario here you know it always wasn't go get the princess, protect peach, defeat Bowser, and stomping on weak little koopas as I pleased. I had a life before that, I went to college, got a PhD, and had a girlfriend if you know Daisy. Well the story I'm about to tell you is what really happened; it all started around the table after graduation day. I was talking to Uncle Toad about what I was going to do with my life. "You are going to be a doctor Areas?" he asked as if he already knew and if you didn't know Areas was my middle name my Uncle couldn't get used to the fact that my name was Mario he hated my mom for naming me that, as a matter of fact he was the only one who had a problem. I would tell you about my parents, but I should really get back to my story. "Yes Uncle Toad." I answered annoyed at the fact he always asked. The truth is I wanted to follow my father's footsteps and be a plumber, but as his final wishes as my Uncle told me he said not to, although I believe he lied and just wanted me to be successful, but you cant blame him for looking out for me. The dinner table was quiet for a while until Luigi asked the strangest question "Are you leaving us forever?" he asked and I could see the worry on his face. Oh yeah and I forgot to mention my little brother Luigi. He was a good friend and the best brother too in fact the only brother I had. Me and Luigi go way back we were like best friends which now a days is unusual for brothers. I'd help Luigi when ever he needed help and he'd help my too (rarely). I told him I wasn't going to leave at least for now and if I did it wouldn't be forever out of my whole family Luigi was going to take me leaving the worst. Later on, two weeks past I had been looking for a job all week and still no luck. Daisy the Accountant as she calls herself dumped me because I couldn't get a job and Uncle Toad wouldn't let me in the house until I was doctor. So I went back to my little apartment in the Pad I had rented with help from Mallow one of my best friends ever. We decided to be room mates I pay for the Hydro and Electricity bill and he pays the Phone and Insurance bill. I decided it was time to go to the Mushroom Kingdom to visit my gramps. I was walking over to the entrance of the castle when there I saw it one of the prettiest girls I had ever seen, I assumed her name was Peach after all everyone called her that. I went up to her and said "Hi" the classic conversation starter she didn't seem to notice me at all I said it again this time she turned around and smiled and said Hi back we began to talk for a couple a minutes, we exchanged numbers and I was on my way to the mansion. When I enter it looked like I had entered a mental institution every one was running around. Gramps was on the phone like there was no tomorrow, the guards were jumping around, and I was just shocked at the whole thing. "Mario it's good to see you." He said. I pulled up a chair beside him and watched as he talked on the phone. It felt like hours, but it was only 20 minutes he was on the phone. He asked me if I could do a job for him. I agreed since I had nothing better to do. He told me to go to Rose Town on the south end and meet a shop keeper friend of his. I said ok and I was on my way to Rose Town. Little did I know my adventure was going to begin......
 

AceMoney

Smash Apprentice
Joined
Jul 26, 2005
Messages
131
Location
Everywhere and nowhere
Indeed. Paragraphs would be useful. Also, there are alot of never-ending sentences in there. It was difficult to read. However, if you fix that, this could be kind of interesting.
 

Akebo

Smash Apprentice
Joined
Feb 22, 2007
Messages
114
Location
Florida
Okay, first of all, I really like the idea. It was...new. Something I've never heard before.

That said, I must address a couple of issues: It was all one, big run-on paragraph. Indent to show a new idea. Also, there was barely any grammatical support. When you start off, you should have said "Hey! It's me, Mario!"...Also, the characters were OOC, which means out of character. try to make them more believable.
 
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