*sigh* Okay, let me clarify.
EVERYTIME YOU REACH SOME PLACE YOU NEED TO GO, THE ******** THING IS WAITING.
Once you go near it (and you will, the ******* is perfectly placed so it's impossible to go around him), he lectures you for 5 minutes on **** you already know.
Maybe it wouldn't be so annoying if weren't for the fact he either gives you useless information, or information that was provided to you, or information that will already be provided to you when you need it.
For example, once you reach Zora's Domain, he mentions you have to play Zelda's Lullaby to open the path to the kingdom of the Zoras. Once you get there, there is writing that states: "The waterfall will only open when the King sleeps."
I actually walked in circles a while because I didn't know I needed to play the music there. Maybe if he told you where you needed to play it, it would be useful.
Also. He borrows heavily from Captain Obvious's book. (*walking towards to Lake Hylia* "OH, DID YOU KNOW YOU ARE ARRIVING AT LAKE HYLIA")
Also, when he appears on Death Mountain's summit, he tells you the fairy is waiting. There's a doorway behind him, so you walk in. It's the volcano's crater, and if you linger too much, Link instantly dies. Turns out you aren't supposed to walk inside, but rather blow a wall to the left. Does he tell you this? Lol no, of course not.
The only use for the ***** is for a free ride, even then he takes two eternities to take off because you are forced to watch him fly in circles for a little while just so the game can show you the scenery. It feels like the game is gloating about it's graphics.
/endwalloftext
Someone save this for future developers so they understand how NOT to make an "helpful" NPC.