Ok, so I just want to mention something before that will be referred several times in this review,
I will continue to use my "logistic" definition which is "The planning of the game flow. Basically, it is the organisation aspect of how the game flows with the player. For example, in a zelda game, it is a good logistic to have jars with hearts inside right before a boss as you would be sure that the probability the player would need them are high. A good logistic makes the experience less frustrating and the game gives you enough chances to do it on your own without external resources like the internet while bad one makes you use the internet and can lead to some frustration to to the design choices."
But I won't need other definitions.
The only other thing I need to say is the release date of the game. In North America, this game was released in 1995, a relatively old game. Usually, I am intentionally more comprehensive when I review games in these time or older, but you will soon realise that instead of doing that, I would be like doing a review as if this game was much more recent. This is because it is hardly possible to notice any logical flaws due to time on this game that impacts the game entirely. I will still review it according to its time, but it just will be much less apparent.
So, let's boot the game
Right off, we see a....kinda creepy intro which I quite liked with the arrangement of pixels, not sure how they did this tbh. And then we see kinda of credits with a quite joyful music, I never think I saw credits like this before the tittle screen, but I can say, I like how the music makes me want to play the game.
Tittle screen is simple, but fine, and the file selection.....idk it's the weirdest setup I ever seen, but it is also......catchy? It's so weird, the music is repetitive.....but not annoying and actually catchy. The background is bland....but somehow fun to look at.....WHAT THE HECK IS THIS GAME DOING?
it's like everything was setup to be bad, but turns out good. It's kinda hard to expect this game tbh.
And the "your name please" just didn't helped at all. It's a so weird music, but is so catchy that I want to sing it....this is going to be a weird review......
And I guess I should mention this: this game IS weird. From now on, this is what you should expect, but it's just that I am surprised of how it breaks every conventions I used to see to make the experience good, but without making it bad. It's like a different type of good if you want.
Anyway, creepy intro with the night music something something crashes wakes up everyone and now you play ness. As expected for these kind of game.....there's no real tutorial, but the controls are so simple that honestly, you might never need the manual to figure out everything, it's designed that way. When you exit your house, the creepy ambience. i just want to mention, this is metroid calibre, but like it would be IRL. I could sound creepy in a real night so I really love how it set the ambience here. Then you start to realise the uses of the L button, but more on that later (it will become more useful).
I just need to say, the graphics are...simple. They are just easy to look at and they aren't ground breaking for the snes, but they are just....pleasant to look at. They have style and they have vivid colors which works for me.
First humour, the police officer tells funny stuff. The one thing that surprised me is it seems to be very close to a TTYD/spm style of humour. I knew beforehand it's supposed to be satiric at times, but to match the silliness of ttyd presented seriously was quite unexpected. You go back to sleep before tragic stuff happens and pokey (which I still question to this day why he got there as your rival) Enter and his theme plays. This theme guys, I long LONG thought the doopliss encounter theme was similar to this and I still think so. Anyway, you are now introduced to what is imo the weirdest fixed saving location ever......a freaking phone call. We'll get to why I think they did this later, but just remember from now on that this is important for the game to do this.
Now you actually do your first battles which are NOT random (this pleases me)....but is by far, the absolute weirdest rpg battle I ever encountered.
Let me go to basic stuff, every battle as a creepy bg. You know these media player programs that offers a wide range of visualiser to distract you? These are JUST that. As for why they are in these battles, personally, it's hard to answer other than why not? It sure is better than black, but when you think about it, it might be more eyes striking than the usual locations background of the places you are in. They also changes according to the enemy, not the location which....to me in this game especially makes more sense. Bosses will have more complex background while other enemies would be more simple. This is very original and as for the distraction.....it really at least feels less repetitive over a long period of time than say seeing the same location in pm64. sure, the later is detailed and fun to look at, but the EB one feels catchy to the eyes, but not repetitive.....
As for the music, it changes again according to the enemy (common theme here). I can only describe them as anyything else in the game: weird, but idk why it's just fun. One in particular, Battle against a mobile opponent literally makes me sing and dance heavily and it;s a very high pitch beep which are NORMALLY annoying. Yeah, this game just isn't normal. Basically, they are fun to listen and sometime are actually creepy, but to me, same job as the bg, they distract you.
Which doesn't look like much but let me remind you that this is a turn by turn rpg and every rpg using this model will ALWAYS have to deal with the problem of feeling too repetitive. This game alleviate it by a lot just by trying to distract you with catchy stuff, it grabs your attention. To me, it really worked, this is one of the most clever way to solve this problem. It doesn't exceed TTYD (who literally made me WANT to have repetition), but it really removes any complains I could have with repetition.
As for the mechanics, well, it;s really simple. Each one can fight with a weapon, use PSY (excpet Jeff) and pass the turn by defending (I think, I played this game in like February, please bare with me). What distinguishes other characters is commands (paula can pray, poo can mirror) as well as jeff.....well, it's kinda like a tattle, but let me just tell something very quick: it;s not an easy game.
Serious, this is the kind of game that can have a varying degree of forgiveness in battles, but a lot of the time, it's one turn unforgivable. You could do ONE turn bad and you'd have a very rough time, even the run away feature is VERY HARD rng, I actually tried at the beginning and stopped because I almost died and I never got it since. So, if you REALLY want to, you could tattle or run away, but do yourself a favor and don't do it. The game even come with a really funny and neat guide that actually has hp for a lot of the enemies so if you really care, go check this guide, but I personally survived without caring. To be clear, it;s not going to make you hate rpg from the 90's, the difficulty is surprisingly not that hard, but just, you have to use strategy here, it is an absolute necessity.
As for the enemy, they will literally blow your mind of how obnoxious they are. I will comment notable one as my review goes, but it just starts with dogs and birds.....already it feels weird, but it gets much more obnoxious.
As for the stats, it's the classic here.....WAIT, HOW CAN THIS GAME BE NORMAL LIKE THIS????
Yeah, the exp, it's just classic. Gain exp, lvlup, stats boosts, new PSY.....the only thing I will mention is how satisfying the level up music is.....man it feels you did something. This is great as an rpg because it's just essential as I learned when doing my SS review......Also, there's weird stats, IQ? guts? Quite funny.
One thing that ISN'T normal (finally....) is the bank system. As you gain exp, your dad will put more money in your account and last time I tested, I don;t think you need the phone to get the money, he just will inform you if you do. Meaning this: you HAVE to not cheap out on battle. Sure, run away is hard to do, but if you did them anyway as there's items to do them, you will get into serious trouble getting better equipment which becomes VERY needed.
The last thing (I know it;s tedious, but so id every beginning of my reviews) is the text. They tell funny attacks which sounds super weird, but fun, they will actually become deadly as the game goes on, I will talk about this later.
Phew, finally we passed general battles mechanics so from now on, this reviews.....will go a bit faster unless I stop to explain some stuff.
You get to the meteorite to get to a buzzing bee?????? from the future????? That tells a prophecy that only you and 3 people can save the world??????
I'm not even going to comment, take as you will
Point is, when you come back, you are greeted with the first boss, a starman. Oh yeah and I forgot to mention, what the freak pokey and picky are doing? ......anyway.
You come back to pokey's house and her father.....yells / hurt him depending on your region (NA is yell). Pokey's mother....kills the bee (ok I guess this isn't weird, but that bee seriously......he kinda searched it). Though the bee tells you the main point of the entire game.....after deciding to survive.....how many times you want if you want re explanation.......and then he dies......
Guys, I am not kidding of how embarrassed you feel, it's that weird.
So, finally we reach onett with its very cheerful music, what a great way to start that game. Little jokes on the map (I think it's expired today
) because ......why something that isn't there should be there.....?
So, just a quick look on general of what I call "services" in any rpg. hotel = hp heals, but it costs money and it increases as you go (remember.....don't cheap out on battles). Hospital = revive / status heals (the former cost a lot so just be careful). Shop = what you would expect, but equipment is very essential to buy there. pizza = food, but on demand with delivery (clever). All hotels and shops should have a phone, black (free) or white (1$).
Wait, why am I even going to describe the basic stuff of rpg?
Because this one isn't normal. The way these services could work changes and it does impact the game.
Before I go further, the jokes in this game......wow, they go deep far. cultural references and just plainly be silly, but the best one are the satiric one. I never saw a game that can reach so close to IRL contents. Even the context of the game, you use real $, finding stuff in trash cans, the items are real.....this game is really trying immersion to another level.
Which leads me to the phone.....this is one of the many things this game can feel very imersive. Just the saving is something, say you just passed a hard thing and you arrive just exhausted......you want the freaking phone like right now.. Finding it is like calling your dad.....see the genius here? It is like the game wants you to be happy to call your dad.....which is freaking clever because IRL, this is the kind of stuff that would really happen. Calling your mom takes it a step further, you actually have to call here periodically. If you don't, ness can have a hidden status in the status page called homesick......again, freaking genius because if forces you to do it and this.....again, is reflecting IRL feeling.
Like, I just need to mini rant here, but these ways of doing things, while being genius are just forgotten today. It's like as if the day of trying to find the most clever solution like these were becoming a chore with how much hardware limitations got so much alleviated. I am legit tired of seeing games and consoles MAINLY focussing on hardware specs than the logical value of it. It just makes me forget that games are art and I just don't like where this is heading.
Anyway, Since you buy equipment and you probably got some items, let's talk about the UI. So, to see hp and PP, press b, press again to hide it OR press A after to bring the menu. Right there, I want to mention how clover it is, it;s so quick. The menu is simple, but it has 2 confusing options which are talk and the action stuff. idk why they did this because there is the L button, let me just finish the menu before though. Items....will get annoying with 4 people because you really have to give and drop stuff to others and it's very annoying, one of the worst inventory, it's just is very slow. Status and use PSY...you will need this to heal without items or hotel and even warp later.
But this game has the L button. I am sure it was intentional which is why I praise it so much, but essentially, this button will do what you want to do to do something. In front of npc is talking, but other stuff is action. it will tell you if you do random things, but notice how this buttons is next to the dpad? Yeah, I am really telling that you have the most basic features by operating the game with ONLY one hand......that's why it's so clever. Remember guys, this is an rpg, these improvements are huge after hours.
Ok I really think I did the basics now, this will go way faster.
The punk enemies are just lol? are you serious? sounds violent to get attacked by a skateboard.....
The mini boss as a music that reference another irl one, and has a knife? wow, they even tell nasty words to drop your gusts (I admit, I loled). beating the tank may require some grinding, but just be careful. After, you get the first dungeon key....by the mayor (you'll get why I put ...). So, going to warn here, this will require some grinding to pass it and these ******* mouses omg you will either questions my reaction or you will understand. They either do little damage or they almost kill you, very scary and luck dependant.
Btw, please get the magical butterfly as other than items, it is just the best way to get PP.
You arrive to the first boss (that was actually spoiled by an npc earlier, lol). And .....well the bg is complex and it definitely feels like a boss, but the music......
I talked about sanctuary guardians a lot, I need to tell why I love it so much. After a while, this music made me felt as if everything I was about to do, every decision I was about to make was CRITICAL. If you're saying that boss music should do that, they don't, they usually give you a feel of the boss like how dark it is or just makes you focus more, but this one is not like this. This one is constantly reminding me that I am in a crucial moment where I have to be SUPER careful in every turn. You truly do which is why this music works so well. And the best is I don;t get why, the music is very low volume, has repetitive background tracks And just sounds too low pitched, but with the stress of a boss, it gets every feeling it could get. This is again, another genius way to immerse you.
After the boss, you get little sounds with some thought of ness that are cute
Anyway, this is where it gets confusing, the mayor gave you the key right?
So.....why the police arest you?
....................................................................................
You arrive to the police with a rant by the captain (lol you are playing a nintendo game). And then 5 officer attacks you? wow, these aren't comprehensive I mean geez, does that mayor have control on its own police?
The last one actually had not much guts because he run away (lol). So the captain attack and....I hope you grinded a bit because that one can be hard. Although, doing submission? geez, no wonder that Ness was ready to be in SSB all along I mean wow, this kid learned self defensive in a rough way.....
So now you get access to a little forest and here......if you go into a mushroom encounter, pray for your life because the mushroom are super annoying. You could get the controls inverted, but also rotated.....and it changes......yeah, very confusing, go to the hospital to heal that.
Twoson music is cheerful too.
And I guess now there just isn't much to say about the city, you do have VERY weird enemies (humans actually) and the most notoriously weird one is the age retro hippy. Which is weird, I never encountered one.......don't ask why blame the rng. point is, VERY weird.
I like how the game logistic just goes as you would go. Sure there's an hint system, but you will rarely use it, it really goes with you. Like finding everdred.....you just explore the city and you eventually get to it. it just feels........natural and let me tell you, for a 1995 game, this is like the paradise, it's EXTREMELY rare for this to happen because devs had other stuff to care like limitations. This game truly is one of a kind to have a very clever logistic, I seriously noticed no flaws which for me is like a miracle considering the time it was released. Nowadays, I would blast a game that had major logistic flaws.....goes to show how we actually progressed in logistic and nintendo didn't did that without loosing creativity.
Ok, the swamp......one of the hardest part of the game considering your level. You mgith want to grind, but you also .....might cheat. You could go far from enemies to despawn them and come back to get different rng.....it's cheating, but just make sure to do enough battle. The enemies doesn't help, ufo gets you a clod which periodically damages you even on field, the trees which can kill you if you don;t mash the text (more on that later) and even these sprout that steals pp.....I don;t get it.
Point is, EVEN getting to the eraser, coming back with the receiver is hard. Imagine the while thing.....
Ok this joke needs a bit of attention, apples and oranges. apples sounds, seems and feels very disgusting and not really clean while oranges feels clever, clean, sounds, seems and feels professionals. The girls near confirms that, but both are "inventors".
The joke is this: they ask you for 500$ each (you could paid both at the time) and orange gave you something completely useless even breaking while apple not only gives you a receiver, but this receiver allows him to call you to give you items that are REQUIRED to beat the game!
The contrast is very satiric here and I loved the meaning: appearances in life are just not the full story. I personally lived this so I loved this satire
So he gives to the pencil eraser (which erases a pencil.....?). So you can do the swamp.
I need to stress how hard this part is, seriously, this game as the issue to have difficulty spikes, be very careful on the swamp, you could get killed so easily.
Which is why that when you get to happy happy, YOU JUST NEED THE PHONE!!!! There;s blue people, blue houses, YOU DON\'T CARE YOU WANT THE PHONE!!!!!
....Once you found it, first, please calm down and second......this is a very weird segment.
Everything is blue, but the services are weird. the hotel costs while it should be free, the shop prices are increased......it's just weird. You get attacked by......cultist? really? Like, seriously, ness, I would question if you weren't in ssb, god this kid has lived many trauma.....Also, music is creepy, but paula theme is.....I don;t even know how to describe it so I won't.
Point is, you can;t beat the guy that has the statue (which is evil) because you need the badge. You get it by meeting paula, but to get to where she is, another logistic clever ness, you talk to someone and suddenly.....
o aaa ooooo aaaaaaa oooooooooo
....What was that sound? It sounds creepy, but this sounds means I hope you were paying attention to the text because I just told you what to do. Very clever. Btw, nice pun with the cow.
You get the badge, pokey is here (and doesn't even seem to hate you like what a weird rival) and makes you battles with birds. Anyway, keep attention to this badge because it might save your bacon later on.
You beat the guy so he gives the key, free paula and now you have a pp heavy user that lacks hp.....
Yeah ok, please be very careful with her, grind some, you really want her to level up she is essential. You can no longer use the bike though. at least you have more inventory so there's that.
Come to everdred (btw, no you don;t have to do the entire swamp). Which will give you.....?
10k$? ARE YOU FOR REAL?
.....so that;s how ness corrupted Sakurai right.....nah
Anyway, the runaway five will become soon your friend because you will watch their show and free them by paying the cash they owe (idk why they don't read contracts.....). Btw, i love these music especially the bus one, they are so cheerful, like I would want to hear that everyday.
And then you arrive into a very creepy town, threed (see the numbers?). it has mainly zombies, halloween kid???????? thrash spirit???????????? (loved that one because you could be tempted to check them). yeah, it's a big step up of weirdness here. You see ghosts a bit later which can haunt you and actually solidify you which is very annoying (but so satisfying once you have PSY ice.....I love that feel). It;s harder to find yourself in town with all these enemies, just remember, try to grind a bit, it never hurts. Now, here;s another example of natural logistic, you explore, can;t get up, ok so checking other stuff some battles later after grinding, hotel and wth?
.....there's that drunk music and a sort of prostitute in the hotel?
......ok I really don;t know what happened but you are locked underground so paula makes jeff playable.
i loved the winter section. Snowman, winter music, omg really awesome music. Btw, idk why the battles goes like this, but in the cave....they are kinda easy, After though.....please be careful.
There just not much to say, you get into the sky runner which the music.......ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
So jeff gets there unlocks and you have 3 party members which leads me to finally tell you something that will show his true color and is one of the best praise I give to this game: hp rolling meter.
If you take damage, it's not absolute, it will roll down until it reaches the supposed damages and you could get a survive by getting 1 remaining. The way the works is if you get a deadly hit, doing something while it is rolling will prevent this or ending the battle. however, the only obstacle......is the text speed. Which is why you have to mash the text as hard as you can to fix these essentially reflecting your state of panic.......this is just.....wow, genius.
Anyway, you get to a tent.....idk, beat it and get the jelly.....please don't ignore it like me
You eventually get zombie paper, put in the other tent, zombie trapped, you go up, battles then you reach river, you can;t get there because password but you get to mr saturn.
I love how the font is, looks cute
The atm are weird, but not the phone.
You eventually get that you simply have to wait in front of the river (so much security) because that's what the sounds told you, so much cleverness!
Belch factory however.......grind a bit, it';s kinda hard. As for belch, please use the jelly like, I seriously took a day to figure this out......thanks miiverse....(not the game fault though).
so you can go kinda to the dessert now, but you have to go around the traffic, lol. You can get sunstroke though and btw, there;s that creep and very weird music in some battles that is the same of the kraken and I love how it grabs your attention.
You basically get to fourside which I found the ssbm music much better.....What is impressive is the length and the enemies. Serious, you fight taxis??? signs??????????
common theme.....
ok, so from now on, this review has gone so fast that I will skip part, there just isn;t much to mention. so, here we go:
The mole maze is hilarious, everyone claims number 3 wth?
moonside was very fun, yes=no and no=yes was clever and it;s the weirdest enemies in the game. The mall was freaking hard, grind,. that was annoying. The monkey maze is so cleverly made to give you every items you need but the first 2. the clumsy robot was funny. Having no paula was panicking for a while.
Summer was kinda weird with its map and it has the most boring music ever. The picture guys confirmed to go through roof. And .....oh I need to stop here.
You get a call asking your PLAYER name (aka, your real name). They allocate a lot of characters to do this (I did aldelaro5) and the reasons is very genius, but you only hear it at the end, but this thing was so mcuh clever.
After, get women cake, ness is drugged (once again, should be in ssb), you play as poo and then you come to a very creepy part. Getting to ask to cut your stuff is just....wow, that was something especially when it mute the sounds and screen.....
You get him so you can get on boat kraken with weird music and desetrt town.
After, really not much, the hieroglyphs was funny, dungeon man was very fun and hilarious.
Yeah ok you get the idea, from that point that game is so consistently good for a long time that it's hard to find something to say. it';s just that consistent.
So, all I will do is this: skip to the end where it's the last part that I feel is new.
The pokey means buisness blew my mind. it sounded 8nit so oh I love that but then the metal jsut......I was actually thinking if it was an snes for soem time, it really grabs attention.
The gygas fight is the msot creepy thing this game has. And let me telll you, it's the most genius one.
You fight hard, you loose hp, pp items, you really are tired after......hopes becomes smaller so what shoudl you do?
You're so desperate so pray is an option. Can be good or bad so you would only use it in emergency cases like this one.....look this was so much clever I could not believe they thought it like that.
But after doing it several times, .....you see letters appear that someone is praying......until you get it......
it's your player name.
Like, they even asked you to confirm that in tedda village, this was the biggest mind blown of the game. you have to realise that to make this SO MUCH real, like as the text scrolls, you are actually hoping gygas would die so what I am essentially saying is that THE GAME IS SO WELL ENGINEERED THAT IT KNOWS EXACTLY HOW YOU WILL FEEL!!!!!!
.....This is crazy. idk how much time this game had to be made, but how can I describe this game other than being a piece of pure genius?
This is why guys it is my third best game: it is THE one that convinced me once and for all that games are art. It broke every conventions possible and did its own thing, but it did it more than right, it was so much innovative. I have yet to see a game better logically engineered than this one and I even say this for TTYD because TTYD isn't good because of its engineering (it is good, but the game isn;t good because of mainly that). TTYD is good because of what it is trying to do and how it does it well, not the way it does it.
And to keep it even more consistent than TTYD?
I just have no words, EB is just a freaking masterpiece.