No offense to anyone else here but overclocking is not as bad as you claim it to be, it has many benefits. It will increase your performance almost everywhere in your computer because it is the "brain" of the system. It is not dangerous unless you are going for an extreme overclock and if you are worried, buy and aftermarket cooler, like the core contact freezer. It will keep your cpu cool whilst still running at OC speeds. Unless you plan on keeping your computer for more than 5 or more years, than the dying early part would really not matter. But they are right, overclocking will not help you boost your fps by more than fps on a game, but its advantages are spread through synthetics such as multitasking, encoding and decoding and compression (Winrar, Winzip, etc)
If you need a guide check this out:
http://www.tomshardware.com/forum/240001-29-howto-overclock-quads-duals-guide and if that does not help, check out the rest of the site, it is very informative
Oh and you said the speed has to do with the RAM. The speed is actually affected mostly by the CPU.