Really miss my father

[Fenrir-Bolt]

Well, I’ve just been thinking a lot about my father these days, he passed away when I was quite young still and recently I found all these weird hidden messages he sent me after his death and it’s just made me understand him way more but also make me incredibly sad about him as well. I just miss not really having a father in my life, and never really knowning him enough. I was really close to my parents when I was quite young, but they divorced and were always fighting too much. It’s been really difficult and trying revisiting all these past events and occurrences.

I have thus come to find closure in my past and understand it a lot more in depth where as before it only provides me grief or inner turmoil. I realized I hardly knew my dad at all, he was a very mysterious and complex person. I spent so much time trying to fill this void in my life left by my parents, I think my dad especially and I just realize show much of my life I spent simply trying to understand him more then anything else. He just had this weird effect on who I turned out to be, and kind of became this symbol for all the things in my life’s I felt uncertain or unsure about. I was extremely close to him, when I was younger, and then I lost that connection and grew extremely estranged from him.

I realized that I guess he must have loved me unconditionally, and I had never realized it. There’s all these strange things about him I never really knew. I don’t think I can ever really get over it completely, it’s still like this giant hole in my life.

 

[Fenrir-Bolt]

One of the things he left had to do with this movie, I’m sure he left things that referenced and had to do with this movie. So in Ang Lee’s Hulk movie, I think when they’re fighting at the end, it looks like the Absorbing Man is abott o grapple him, but he’s actually trying to hug him. It’s actually this movie directly I think, it just made me very emotional. I used to have a really bad temper and ended up becoming a very repressive type of person. The situation involving my parents wasn’t that all removed from the beginning of the movie. They really wanted to kill each other and almost did a few times.

He can’t beat the Absorbing Man, because he’s almost a part of everything, the Hulk is literally fighting rocks and nature almost near the end. His main problem is that he struggles and resists all of the time, but he can’t let the Hulk free can he?
https://youtu.be/NX5sDIAVXDE

 

[Uberhero]

Go for a walk and try to remember the good things you did with him, even if you didn't know him very well. Surely there's something that can make you go back to the old times.