Ok, it has seriously been a long time since I've written anything!!! This semester has been extremely strenuous. I am, however, excited to be so close to the completion of my undergraduate studies. I'm so very thrilled about the opportunities that await me!!
But, for the meantime, stuff still bothers me. Some of the attitudes and mindsets of the fellow members of my race are really starting to concern me. This guy made a comment to me last week which implied that I am not a real black person. We were sitting down to eat dinner in our residence hall (which is predominately white) when he noticed that he had never really eaten on that side of the cafe. He said, in a "I'm joking, but I really truly mean this"-ly manner, "I sit over there with the real black people." He kinda laughed it off, but I wasn't buying that he was just playing with me; he meant that mess. The black guys of the building have obviously discussed the 11 or 12 black girls in the building and concluded that I seem cool, but also seem like I'm kinda stuck up.
I asked him how dare he question my blackness. I do believe that on some kind of identification certificate or form my race is stated. Oh yeah, what about all those family members I resemble who just happen to be African American...get my drift. I asked him what constitutes being a "real" black person and why would he question me. I guess it's because of the proper manner in which I speak, the way I carry myself like a lady, my gpa, my goals and ambitions or the fact that I have many friends who are of a different ethnic background he derived such a conclusion.
For years I've grown angry at such mentalities by my fellow black people. Then we wonder why it is taking the black community so long to advance socially. Many of us don't even have self-pride, esteem, worth or love and it's highly reflected through behavior. Therefore, if you're black and choose to pick your friends by the content of their character you're a sell out. I asked my dinner buddy, since he's such a "real" black person, what has he done to uplift the black community lately. How is he contributing to society as a young black man. Whose legacy is carrying out in 2007. Could he even name a black inventor.
Have we not struggled enough to be accepted as American citizens that we have to tear our own people down? I hate when black people do this. So what I annunciate when I speak! Why do I have to "talk like a white girl?" Why can't I just be an articulate young lady? What many black people don't realize is that they are belittling themselves when they think such thoughts. They are narrowing their own capacity and enabling their own selves. They are making themselves inferior without the aid of any racist person. I truly wish they could see that.
Then here come the excuses! The "man" and the notorious "system". I will agree that total equality and justice have yet to be reached, but come on now!!! When you don't get a job because of the ways in which you were dressed and spoke, there is no one to blame but yourself. If you got thought of as a suspect to a crime and you're walking around with your pants to your ashy knee caps, wearing a hat cocked to a side hanging out on some corner, PLEASE, do not be suprised. When you're in class and behave badly do NOT blame them for dismissing your disruptive self from the class so others can learn. When you approach a girl as if she is a person of low self-esteem and worth in a disresptful way, don't be too confused as to why she rolled her eyes and kept on about her business.
Many people in society have harsh generalizations about black people, but in a way, who could really blame them. If everytime I encountered a cat it barked, I'm going to believe that cats bark. Those cats can't get mad or not understand why/how I derived that they are a barking species.
I love black people, but I also love other people. As long as you're not disrespectful and we can get along and hold great conversation, you can be my friend. My friendship is equal opportunity...non discriminatory. I could have sworn that's what we as black people have been fighting for these past hundreds of years.
I guess I'm ok now about certain black people thinking I'm not a real black person because I can hang out with people of many different ethnic backgrounds as opposed to sheltering myself and doing myself a disservice through my lifestyle choices. I am more upset that they can't realize what they are doing to themselves and to the advancement of the black race as a whole.
