Divinokage
Smash Legend
Link to original post: [drupal=4958]Planting seeds, a conversation between a warrior and a ninja. =)[/drupal]
Mystic says
damn anime, too many to watch
no time
Roustane Benzeguir says
haha, I wonder why they are so fiending to make sexy animes atm lol
Mystic says
lots of depraved highschool guys
poor them
those japanese don't seem to be having enough sex
Roustane Benzeguir says
lol probably but at the same time I blame society for putting ideas into females that they have to be a certain way and that the guys have to be a bad guy and then they get treated like ****. I've seen that toooo many times lately
Mystic says
the anime is made to cater to the needs of the most people. Since they're always highschool based it's because the people who watch anime the most are in highschool so the anime directly connects to them, and they're fiening for some girls so the anime shows that too.
I find animes always reward the shy good guy
Roustane Benzeguir says
But then they are inputting the thought that the girl had to be ultra badass lol
has*
Mystic says
girls in japan apparently don't even try to live up to the anime girls because, like in anime, the guys prefer anime girls to real girls lol
Roustane Benzeguir says
omfg lol
Mystic says
I understand it tho lol, demon succubus mage intelligent sexy killers are a lot more appealing to me than some idiot weak cigarette smoking drug doing alcohol drinking girl who only complains and wants to waste money on her vanity
hopefully at some point people will start expecting more of themselves that than gutter trash ideal of life
Roustane Benzeguir says
and of course then it turns to how she's the one that's important in the relationship disregarding how the guy feels about anything, thats where it's headed atm
Mystic says
yeah
Roustane Benzeguir says
Dude.. like, did you see the songs, or music videos these days for example? Or just what nonsense people write about how girls should behave? It's disgusting.
Mystic says
because they're so weak and don't love anything they can't get any energy so they have to manipulate the guy as much as possible to ensure that every ounce of his energy is going to her only so she can feel good about herself otherwise she'll feel empty and useless like the trash she is, relying on his energy
and vice versa
the whole world is trapped in this blind energy struggle
Roustane Benzeguir says
It's kinda annoying lol
Mystic says
and yeah I've been well aware of all that garbage for years
my perspective now is, only the idiots who are weak will allow that trash to consume and become their lives
Roustane Benzeguir says
I wrote this to my smasher friend because girls treat him like ****. "Well it's all fun and games until you get treated like **** because of the society that repeatedly suggested certain dangerous guidelines for girls to follow. You know, we're not supposed to be bad guys or anything.. we are ourselves.. and unfortunately there's barely anyone that can see things for what they are."
Mystic says
I let life, and particularly love and pain to teach everyone
people who do stupid things will suffer
people who do good things will feel good
it depends on them after that
will they lose to their minds or will they follow their heart?
Roustane Benzeguir says
"Even if you obtain exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can't hold on to it forever." It sounds like a relationship can be an issue with that definitely lol
Mystic says
this world is like a trillion shards of broken glass, each reflecting a different world
people can choose to live in whatever world they want
that world of ignorance and anger, or the world they create for themselves
Roustane Benzeguir says
You can play the victim or anyone else you'd like to be lmao
Mystic says
yeah, so I don't really feel that bad anymore
I know people can only make choices with the information they have available and unfortunately it's not really common knowledge some of the spiritual stuff I guess, so it's unfortunate that their choises are so limited
I help when I see someone suffer, even a regular comment might mean a lot to them so I do what I can
Roustane Benzeguir says
Have you helped more people lately?
Mystic says
but I won't let my energy get brought down by the 'state of the world' and how rappers and all these idiots influence so many people into ***********
mm
I am trained to forget these thigns rofl
if I do good, I don't know it
if I do bad, it's all I can be aware of
I'm happy it's like this tho
Roustane Benzeguir says
Why would you forget something like that? lol
Mystic says
it shows my pride is disappearing
the ego remembers the things it did to enhance its self perception
I don't remember anything that defines me
what I do, I do because it was right
then I just forget it lol
Roustane Benzeguir says
loll
Mystic says
it doesn't define me anymore
I'm not 'scott, the one who helped that guy'
or scott, the one who does flips
I don't really have any identity, it's all in the mind
people ask 'what's up?'
and I look around the room
I don't know what's up
my past is already forgotten
what's going on now?
I walked in
you saw me walk in
what is there to say?
Roustane Benzeguir says
well usually people want to know what you did earlier because they are curious lol
Mystic says
I just have this image of someone carrying this huge ball (of thoughts and past) attached to a chain, and dragging it behind them everywhere they go
we can always deal with the moment, but we can't deal with the moment plus the past plus our thoughts
it's too much
too heavy
if I walk and slip on water, I can deal with that
I'll just stand back up
and maybe try to clean my pants
Roustane Benzeguir says
is it really? You just simply say what you did, there's no really need to think about it after because it is still in the moment.
Mystic says
but if I slip on water, and remember getting yelled at by my boss, dumped by my girlfriend, betrayed by my friend, and dropping 15 items on the floor.. then slipping on that water might be more than I can handle and I might scream and freak out and become very angry
see what I'm saying?
the accumulation is bad
it's all thought, compounding one problem into the accumulation of 10 problems
and nobody can deal with that
Roustane Benzeguir says
Oh I see, well that's another thing isn't it?
Mystic says
so everyone is frustrated because whenever one thing happens to them that's bad, in their reality there's 15 things happening bad right now. And then if something else happens it'll be 16 things happening at once
like if you screw up in smash
once is fine
but when you screw up again you start to get worried
why am I ****ing up so much?
and then again, the third time you're freaking out because it's not just this one screw up right now, this one screw up right now actually = 3 screw ups in your mind so you become very nervous and scared
I find this is a very big lesson about how bad it is to carry the past and to carry thoughts with us into the present moment
whats worse is that as you carry this thought, you carry it because you have identified with it already. This is me. I'm the one who ****ed up 15 times. Then everyone can laugh at who you are and you can feel like a piece of **** because of it... because it's your identity. It's who you are.
all those accumulated thoughts..
what a joke lol
that kind of life
Roustane Benzeguir says
ohh ok lol
Mystic says
if my pants fall off at work and people laugh at me and remind me every day, I'll just see it as if I was in their position because whatever they're saying is the past, and it's not me, it's not my identity. Its just some mental recreation in their minds and it has no reality.
a mental passtime to waste time
or to put it in other words, to waste life, which is this moment
the mind exists only in the past and the future
it does everything is can to ignore the only thing that's real, this moment
all those mental games, it's all emptiness
Roustane Benzeguir says
Is it really that hard to do? =P
Mystic says
all those memories, all those identifications, it's all past and future, creations of the mind without any substance
is what that hard?
Roustane Benzeguir says
I mean staying in the moment all the time
Mystic says
yeah it really is for me haha
every bit of everything I see is painted on with my past memories
and then my mind just reacts to everything I see
I can never stay present
tho at least I'm making some progress into watching myself and the activities of my mind without identifying with it
for example, if I am biking and see a dildo in the snow
I'll laugh because my mind will associate it with jokers who are using it to masturbate and must have been either doing something outside or carrying it somewhere or whatever. But it's there and it's funny.
Roustane Benzeguir says
lol ok
Mystic says
before I know it I'm half way home and only NOW realized that I've been unconscious for half the bike ride
seeing nothing, totally distracted from the moment by one reaction after another
that's how the mind does it, it just constantly reacts to every reaction it has and ends up making this huge elaborate story and we just sit there captivated by it
pulled into some imaginary place and disconnected from everything that's real
Roustane Benzeguir says
I see, well put it that way, I do get that too sometimes.
Mystic says
in the end, there was absolutely nothing of value that we gained from those reactions because every reaction was just a reaction, meaning it was just a habitual movement, something we've done before.
when you sit down and think and create an idea for a story, lets say, in that case you're trying to exceed your conscious thought, you're trying to really create something
but when your mind wanders and reacts to its own reactions, it's always just the known repeating endlessly in your head and even if you spend 20 years like that you'll have learned nothing, only wasted 20 years of your life
so more and more I'm able to watch myself doing this, watch how my mind instantly associates everything with my past. Like that is just a fence. JUST A FENCE <== meaning I have stripped it of all its value. It has no value to me because I already KNOW it. It has nothing to offer me. I've seen it in the past so I don't have to see it anymore. I remember it. That's good enough......
Roustane Benzeguir says
Sounds like the classic old man reminiscing his old times lol
Mystic says
and that's how I see the whole world, just some memory of the past with no new awareness. Everything, all the wonders are all hidden by the paint of my past. I can only see my mind when I look at anything. I can't see IT, the fence, at all.
Roustane Benzeguir says
I feel like this may take years to master for sure. Old men usually return to innonence dont they? lol
Mystic says
haha
that's a promising thing
I spend my breaks again meditating and looking outside
being present is so hard for me
I see snow blowing but my mind is so zombified that all I see is the same old and I don't actually know how to even look at the snow falling anymore
it just becomes an empty blue of white falling
blur*
that emptiness is the substance of my mind.
I never see the snow falling, I only see my mind's empty reaction to the snow falling
Roustane Benzeguir says
Heh, it's not easy but at the same time, it feels like you can see the beauty of everything much easier if you feel energized in someway, if not it's really hard. You'll just look at something with nothing to expect from it.
Mystic says
it's rare that I can break through and start to feel the love, the essence of the snow and what it's doing
yeah when you look at something you're always only seeing yourself
if you're bored you will see boredom in everything
Roustane Benzeguir says
Ya pretty much
Mystic says
humans are pretty loud tho lol
so if you're bored exciting people can still change your mood
people have waves of energy
it can affect us pretty easily
birds and wind and all that is much more quiet, what they do doesn't really affect us that much
Roustane Benzeguir says
There would need to be a need to change in the first place though
Mystic says
in my case I'm tired of living in my mind, in this boredom
there is a need to reconnect with life
so I'm staying watchful
the other day in my meditation at work, I watched a snow bank
my mind wanted to look around, look at everything, because maybe I would find something worth looking at
rofl.. what a huge mistake
when you look, you never find
Roustane Benzeguir says
what happened? lol
Mystic says
when you stop looking, you find
I just ignored my mind and just kept watching the snow bank
slowly, after a few minutes I saw how it started to curve
how the snow was piled up in just such a way
Roustane Benzeguir says
ok
Mystic says
in its own unique way
and that made me intensely happy
just watching it, I started to fall in love with it
I started to see it, in its own place, in its own unique expression, with its own purpose
it came alive to me and I was filled with love for it
it rare that this happens but it's that my mind let go of the past for that moment and become INTENSELY ALIVE
Intensely active and sharp
quiet but so very observant and open
and then the snow bank was able to communicate itself with my spirit
and I become overwhelmed with feelings of happiness and love, but I don't understand really why
a part of my consciousness, my spirit I suppose, was aware of something that my brain wasn't. And then it communicated that information to my body via emotions of love and happiness
Roustane Benzeguir says
really? hmm..
Mystic says
but the goodness that I was percieving, wasn't percieved by my thoughts or my mind, see?
it's something altogether more subtle that my mind can't begin to understand
only by going beyond my mind do I ever have an experience like this, but it's so hard to go beyond my mind
I'm looking at the trees blowing, the snow blowing, trying to understand it with my mind. I'm trying to see something in the tree that my eyes can't see. But this whole activity of 'looking' is a function of the mind so I'm always trapped and never see anythign but the limits of my mind.
Roustane Benzeguir says
Well I know your mind definitely is something hard to control, you told me in the past plenty of problems with it like it's hard for you to go to sleep because you'll think about something right away or maybe you are in danger and you have to be aware. lol
Mystic says
its only when I let go.. just be quiet and stop trying, stop hoping for anythign special to happen, stop trying to see something... just let go... and then the trees move with the wind and the snow together and everything starts to link up and I start to become a part of everything. Then as I'm connecting and empty of thought, things start to change
I change deeply
yeah, my thoughts and my mind always keep me awake
but it's not like that anymore
I sleep more easily
I'm more quiet
haha
Roustane Benzeguir says
lol
Mystic says
just looking at that "I'm more quiet" there's more ego
Roustane Benzeguir says
isn't what you do that defines you anyhow?
Mystic says
who is the 'I' that's more quiet? the mind. rofl, and that's not me. See, how I identified myself with my mind? that's ego
Roustane Benzeguir says
or at least that's what the others will see
Mystic says
yes people will see what you do and define you with their labels because they're still in their minds
they're so used to, as the mind does, separate everything
imagine the whole universe is ONE ABSOLUTE THING
and the mind says, that's grass, that's air, that black, that's red.
because it doesn't understand totality, which is one thing
it misperceives everythign and breaks it up into small things so it's pitiful mind can try to wrap itself around it
Roustane Benzeguir says
Well it's definitely something I cant really comprehend but at the very least I know we have billions of energy stuff inside lol
Mystic says
everything is a reflection of the everything
the totality
the absolute
god
and totality is one thing
so when the mind says, "This is grass"
you know you are wrong lol
Roustane Benzeguir says
Socrates did say: Life is a paradox, don't waste your time trying to figure out.
If life is what it is, then.. it's there, then what? lol
i can choose to do whatever
Mystic says
that is especially true because the act of trying to figure it out is the actions of the mind only. If you every try to figure out life with your mind you will never succeed because the mind is 100% fully ********
an enlightened person said, "The nature of the mind is to misunderstand."
everything born of your mind is a lie lol
hey I'm sorry if I'm saying anything that leaves you feeling empty
you need to be very solid.. I think... before you can be empty
Roustane Benzeguir says
feeling empty? You kidding me? I've been through that already lol
Mystic says
I think it's so important to have powerful roots to keep you grounded. Then if I journey off into the void, I won't suddenly become insane lol
Roustane Benzeguir says
im 26 now.. we are getting older, i cant be the balloon blowing in the wind anymore. =P
Mystic says
I'm happy to hear that haha
but I may still say things that are hard to grasp and it might leave you feeling like nothing matters or whatever without a sense of responsibility or connection
Roustane Benzeguir says
Socrates did also say: Life is like a school, there's some people that live their whole lives experiencing things but they never learn from their experiences.
So good thing I can stay grounded good now
Well I think I'm along somewhat the same road as you sort of. I can't totally understand it now but I'll keep trying to see what I can do to refine my mind.
Mystic says
*nods*
Roustane Benzeguir says
Well, I'm gonna feel some great pain soon, I think I need it and for glory lol
The pain is just an experience but ill make it a good one
Mystic says
haha
ahh glorious pain
I love it
every time I experience it I'm forced to be so real
I almost wish I had a lot more pain on a regular basis
how fast would I change
Roustane Benzeguir says
uhh ****ing fast lol
everytime there's pain, its a chance to grow isn't it?
Its kinda why I haven't gotten depressed for like 1 year and a half because mainly im able to appreciate the details of life a lot better and if my mind is being stupid for no reason then I just try to clear the problem asap before my mind goes rampart.. because I know I tend to worry a lot for no reason.
And that also calmed down recently too because I took the steps necessary to get rid of it.
Mystic says
that's so important
there's so many people who think if they just ignore it then eventually it'll go away and they can be happy again
Roustane Benzeguir says
well temporarily yes, but eventually you cant run away from the problem lol
Mystic says
but they never realise that another problem will come up and they'll have to wait for that to go away and another and another. And then the first problem will come back and the second and they'll just be living a constant misery. They stay level 1 and keep walking deeper into life until they reach their limits.
Roustane Benzeguir says
Like my mind for a while is going off about how i should join the gym, so until then it's always gonna be there lol
Mystic says
they usually are the ones who complain about how **** life is
Roustane Benzeguir says
lol
Ya i dont understand how they can take it for so long
Mystic says
me neither
Roustane Benzeguir says
i certainly can't bear it anymore, the stone that's burning in your hand. I kept that when you said that to me. How long before you realize that the fire is hurting you? lol
Mystic says
getting 1 shot by everyone over and over a million times a day has to get pretty damn annoying.. you'd think they'd realise they should take a few steps back and start leveling up some cuz they can't win the way they're going
Roustane Benzeguir says
lol ya
Mystic says
yeah that stone is such a good metaphor
anger is like holding a burning stone with the intention of throwing it at someone
Roustane Benzeguir says
It's funny because no one in the smash community understands **** all what im saying but I mention to them but it's so simple, how can you not see it!? lol
Mystic says
lol
Roustane Benzeguir says
it's like are they buried that badly inside their minds? They make things super complicated when you can just do stuff to succeed? lol
Mystic says
it's amazing but we can't really see how high we are. Once people stop understanding us we just have no way to judge our progress haha.
Roustane Benzeguir says
sort of lol, you are like the only one that can break the things i say lol
Mystic says
hahhaha break the things you say
I see what you mean tho
Roustane Benzeguir says
and sometimes i cant even understand what you are saying lmao
a little but still its tough
It's like.. I'm supposed to let go now? No way, I need to fight and crush faces some more! lol
Mystic says
I'm happy that those seeds of the past are growing into nice trees
Mystic says
damn anime, too many to watch
no time
Roustane Benzeguir says
haha, I wonder why they are so fiending to make sexy animes atm lol
Mystic says
lots of depraved highschool guys
poor them
those japanese don't seem to be having enough sex
Roustane Benzeguir says
lol probably but at the same time I blame society for putting ideas into females that they have to be a certain way and that the guys have to be a bad guy and then they get treated like ****. I've seen that toooo many times lately
Mystic says
the anime is made to cater to the needs of the most people. Since they're always highschool based it's because the people who watch anime the most are in highschool so the anime directly connects to them, and they're fiening for some girls so the anime shows that too.
I find animes always reward the shy good guy
Roustane Benzeguir says
But then they are inputting the thought that the girl had to be ultra badass lol
has*
Mystic says
girls in japan apparently don't even try to live up to the anime girls because, like in anime, the guys prefer anime girls to real girls lol
Roustane Benzeguir says
omfg lol
Mystic says
I understand it tho lol, demon succubus mage intelligent sexy killers are a lot more appealing to me than some idiot weak cigarette smoking drug doing alcohol drinking girl who only complains and wants to waste money on her vanity
hopefully at some point people will start expecting more of themselves that than gutter trash ideal of life
Roustane Benzeguir says
and of course then it turns to how she's the one that's important in the relationship disregarding how the guy feels about anything, thats where it's headed atm
Mystic says
yeah
Roustane Benzeguir says
Dude.. like, did you see the songs, or music videos these days for example? Or just what nonsense people write about how girls should behave? It's disgusting.
Mystic says
because they're so weak and don't love anything they can't get any energy so they have to manipulate the guy as much as possible to ensure that every ounce of his energy is going to her only so she can feel good about herself otherwise she'll feel empty and useless like the trash she is, relying on his energy
and vice versa
the whole world is trapped in this blind energy struggle
Roustane Benzeguir says
It's kinda annoying lol
Mystic says
and yeah I've been well aware of all that garbage for years
my perspective now is, only the idiots who are weak will allow that trash to consume and become their lives
Roustane Benzeguir says
I wrote this to my smasher friend because girls treat him like ****. "Well it's all fun and games until you get treated like **** because of the society that repeatedly suggested certain dangerous guidelines for girls to follow. You know, we're not supposed to be bad guys or anything.. we are ourselves.. and unfortunately there's barely anyone that can see things for what they are."
Mystic says
I let life, and particularly love and pain to teach everyone
people who do stupid things will suffer
people who do good things will feel good
it depends on them after that
will they lose to their minds or will they follow their heart?
Roustane Benzeguir says
"Even if you obtain exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can't hold on to it forever." It sounds like a relationship can be an issue with that definitely lol
Mystic says
this world is like a trillion shards of broken glass, each reflecting a different world
people can choose to live in whatever world they want
that world of ignorance and anger, or the world they create for themselves
Roustane Benzeguir says
You can play the victim or anyone else you'd like to be lmao
Mystic says
yeah, so I don't really feel that bad anymore
I know people can only make choices with the information they have available and unfortunately it's not really common knowledge some of the spiritual stuff I guess, so it's unfortunate that their choises are so limited
I help when I see someone suffer, even a regular comment might mean a lot to them so I do what I can
Roustane Benzeguir says
Have you helped more people lately?
Mystic says
but I won't let my energy get brought down by the 'state of the world' and how rappers and all these idiots influence so many people into ***********
mm
I am trained to forget these thigns rofl
if I do good, I don't know it
if I do bad, it's all I can be aware of
I'm happy it's like this tho
Roustane Benzeguir says
Why would you forget something like that? lol
Mystic says
it shows my pride is disappearing
the ego remembers the things it did to enhance its self perception
I don't remember anything that defines me
what I do, I do because it was right
then I just forget it lol
Roustane Benzeguir says
loll
Mystic says
it doesn't define me anymore
I'm not 'scott, the one who helped that guy'
or scott, the one who does flips
I don't really have any identity, it's all in the mind
people ask 'what's up?'
and I look around the room
I don't know what's up
my past is already forgotten
what's going on now?
I walked in
you saw me walk in
what is there to say?
Roustane Benzeguir says
well usually people want to know what you did earlier because they are curious lol
Mystic says
I just have this image of someone carrying this huge ball (of thoughts and past) attached to a chain, and dragging it behind them everywhere they go
we can always deal with the moment, but we can't deal with the moment plus the past plus our thoughts
it's too much
too heavy
if I walk and slip on water, I can deal with that
I'll just stand back up
and maybe try to clean my pants
Roustane Benzeguir says
is it really? You just simply say what you did, there's no really need to think about it after because it is still in the moment.
Mystic says
but if I slip on water, and remember getting yelled at by my boss, dumped by my girlfriend, betrayed by my friend, and dropping 15 items on the floor.. then slipping on that water might be more than I can handle and I might scream and freak out and become very angry
see what I'm saying?
the accumulation is bad
it's all thought, compounding one problem into the accumulation of 10 problems
and nobody can deal with that
Roustane Benzeguir says
Oh I see, well that's another thing isn't it?
Mystic says
so everyone is frustrated because whenever one thing happens to them that's bad, in their reality there's 15 things happening bad right now. And then if something else happens it'll be 16 things happening at once
like if you screw up in smash
once is fine
but when you screw up again you start to get worried
why am I ****ing up so much?
and then again, the third time you're freaking out because it's not just this one screw up right now, this one screw up right now actually = 3 screw ups in your mind so you become very nervous and scared
I find this is a very big lesson about how bad it is to carry the past and to carry thoughts with us into the present moment
whats worse is that as you carry this thought, you carry it because you have identified with it already. This is me. I'm the one who ****ed up 15 times. Then everyone can laugh at who you are and you can feel like a piece of **** because of it... because it's your identity. It's who you are.
all those accumulated thoughts..
what a joke lol
that kind of life
Roustane Benzeguir says
ohh ok lol
Mystic says
if my pants fall off at work and people laugh at me and remind me every day, I'll just see it as if I was in their position because whatever they're saying is the past, and it's not me, it's not my identity. Its just some mental recreation in their minds and it has no reality.
a mental passtime to waste time
or to put it in other words, to waste life, which is this moment
the mind exists only in the past and the future
it does everything is can to ignore the only thing that's real, this moment
all those mental games, it's all emptiness
Roustane Benzeguir says
Is it really that hard to do? =P
Mystic says
all those memories, all those identifications, it's all past and future, creations of the mind without any substance
is what that hard?
Roustane Benzeguir says
I mean staying in the moment all the time
Mystic says
yeah it really is for me haha
every bit of everything I see is painted on with my past memories
and then my mind just reacts to everything I see
I can never stay present
tho at least I'm making some progress into watching myself and the activities of my mind without identifying with it
for example, if I am biking and see a dildo in the snow
I'll laugh because my mind will associate it with jokers who are using it to masturbate and must have been either doing something outside or carrying it somewhere or whatever. But it's there and it's funny.
Roustane Benzeguir says
lol ok
Mystic says
before I know it I'm half way home and only NOW realized that I've been unconscious for half the bike ride
seeing nothing, totally distracted from the moment by one reaction after another
that's how the mind does it, it just constantly reacts to every reaction it has and ends up making this huge elaborate story and we just sit there captivated by it
pulled into some imaginary place and disconnected from everything that's real
Roustane Benzeguir says
I see, well put it that way, I do get that too sometimes.
Mystic says
in the end, there was absolutely nothing of value that we gained from those reactions because every reaction was just a reaction, meaning it was just a habitual movement, something we've done before.
when you sit down and think and create an idea for a story, lets say, in that case you're trying to exceed your conscious thought, you're trying to really create something
but when your mind wanders and reacts to its own reactions, it's always just the known repeating endlessly in your head and even if you spend 20 years like that you'll have learned nothing, only wasted 20 years of your life
so more and more I'm able to watch myself doing this, watch how my mind instantly associates everything with my past. Like that is just a fence. JUST A FENCE <== meaning I have stripped it of all its value. It has no value to me because I already KNOW it. It has nothing to offer me. I've seen it in the past so I don't have to see it anymore. I remember it. That's good enough......
Roustane Benzeguir says
Sounds like the classic old man reminiscing his old times lol
Mystic says
and that's how I see the whole world, just some memory of the past with no new awareness. Everything, all the wonders are all hidden by the paint of my past. I can only see my mind when I look at anything. I can't see IT, the fence, at all.
Roustane Benzeguir says
I feel like this may take years to master for sure. Old men usually return to innonence dont they? lol
Mystic says
haha
that's a promising thing
I spend my breaks again meditating and looking outside
being present is so hard for me
I see snow blowing but my mind is so zombified that all I see is the same old and I don't actually know how to even look at the snow falling anymore
it just becomes an empty blue of white falling
blur*
that emptiness is the substance of my mind.
I never see the snow falling, I only see my mind's empty reaction to the snow falling
Roustane Benzeguir says
Heh, it's not easy but at the same time, it feels like you can see the beauty of everything much easier if you feel energized in someway, if not it's really hard. You'll just look at something with nothing to expect from it.
Mystic says
it's rare that I can break through and start to feel the love, the essence of the snow and what it's doing
yeah when you look at something you're always only seeing yourself
if you're bored you will see boredom in everything
Roustane Benzeguir says
Ya pretty much
Mystic says
humans are pretty loud tho lol
so if you're bored exciting people can still change your mood
people have waves of energy
it can affect us pretty easily
birds and wind and all that is much more quiet, what they do doesn't really affect us that much
Roustane Benzeguir says
There would need to be a need to change in the first place though
Mystic says
in my case I'm tired of living in my mind, in this boredom
there is a need to reconnect with life
so I'm staying watchful
the other day in my meditation at work, I watched a snow bank
my mind wanted to look around, look at everything, because maybe I would find something worth looking at
rofl.. what a huge mistake
when you look, you never find
Roustane Benzeguir says
what happened? lol
Mystic says
when you stop looking, you find
I just ignored my mind and just kept watching the snow bank
slowly, after a few minutes I saw how it started to curve
how the snow was piled up in just such a way
Roustane Benzeguir says
ok
Mystic says
in its own unique way
and that made me intensely happy
just watching it, I started to fall in love with it
I started to see it, in its own place, in its own unique expression, with its own purpose
it came alive to me and I was filled with love for it
it rare that this happens but it's that my mind let go of the past for that moment and become INTENSELY ALIVE
Intensely active and sharp
quiet but so very observant and open
and then the snow bank was able to communicate itself with my spirit
and I become overwhelmed with feelings of happiness and love, but I don't understand really why
a part of my consciousness, my spirit I suppose, was aware of something that my brain wasn't. And then it communicated that information to my body via emotions of love and happiness
Roustane Benzeguir says
really? hmm..
Mystic says
but the goodness that I was percieving, wasn't percieved by my thoughts or my mind, see?
it's something altogether more subtle that my mind can't begin to understand
only by going beyond my mind do I ever have an experience like this, but it's so hard to go beyond my mind
I'm looking at the trees blowing, the snow blowing, trying to understand it with my mind. I'm trying to see something in the tree that my eyes can't see. But this whole activity of 'looking' is a function of the mind so I'm always trapped and never see anythign but the limits of my mind.
Roustane Benzeguir says
Well I know your mind definitely is something hard to control, you told me in the past plenty of problems with it like it's hard for you to go to sleep because you'll think about something right away or maybe you are in danger and you have to be aware. lol
Mystic says
its only when I let go.. just be quiet and stop trying, stop hoping for anythign special to happen, stop trying to see something... just let go... and then the trees move with the wind and the snow together and everything starts to link up and I start to become a part of everything. Then as I'm connecting and empty of thought, things start to change
I change deeply
yeah, my thoughts and my mind always keep me awake
but it's not like that anymore
I sleep more easily
I'm more quiet
haha
Roustane Benzeguir says
lol
Mystic says
just looking at that "I'm more quiet" there's more ego
Roustane Benzeguir says
isn't what you do that defines you anyhow?
Mystic says
who is the 'I' that's more quiet? the mind. rofl, and that's not me. See, how I identified myself with my mind? that's ego
Roustane Benzeguir says
or at least that's what the others will see
Mystic says
yes people will see what you do and define you with their labels because they're still in their minds
they're so used to, as the mind does, separate everything
imagine the whole universe is ONE ABSOLUTE THING
and the mind says, that's grass, that's air, that black, that's red.
because it doesn't understand totality, which is one thing
it misperceives everythign and breaks it up into small things so it's pitiful mind can try to wrap itself around it
Roustane Benzeguir says
Well it's definitely something I cant really comprehend but at the very least I know we have billions of energy stuff inside lol
Mystic says
everything is a reflection of the everything
the totality
the absolute
god
and totality is one thing
so when the mind says, "This is grass"
you know you are wrong lol
Roustane Benzeguir says
Socrates did say: Life is a paradox, don't waste your time trying to figure out.
If life is what it is, then.. it's there, then what? lol
i can choose to do whatever
Mystic says
that is especially true because the act of trying to figure it out is the actions of the mind only. If you every try to figure out life with your mind you will never succeed because the mind is 100% fully ********
an enlightened person said, "The nature of the mind is to misunderstand."
everything born of your mind is a lie lol
hey I'm sorry if I'm saying anything that leaves you feeling empty
you need to be very solid.. I think... before you can be empty
Roustane Benzeguir says
feeling empty? You kidding me? I've been through that already lol
Mystic says
I think it's so important to have powerful roots to keep you grounded. Then if I journey off into the void, I won't suddenly become insane lol
Roustane Benzeguir says
im 26 now.. we are getting older, i cant be the balloon blowing in the wind anymore. =P
Mystic says
I'm happy to hear that haha
but I may still say things that are hard to grasp and it might leave you feeling like nothing matters or whatever without a sense of responsibility or connection
Roustane Benzeguir says
Socrates did also say: Life is like a school, there's some people that live their whole lives experiencing things but they never learn from their experiences.
So good thing I can stay grounded good now
Well I think I'm along somewhat the same road as you sort of. I can't totally understand it now but I'll keep trying to see what I can do to refine my mind.
Mystic says
*nods*
Roustane Benzeguir says
Well, I'm gonna feel some great pain soon, I think I need it and for glory lol
The pain is just an experience but ill make it a good one
Mystic says
haha
ahh glorious pain
I love it
every time I experience it I'm forced to be so real
I almost wish I had a lot more pain on a regular basis
how fast would I change
Roustane Benzeguir says
uhh ****ing fast lol
everytime there's pain, its a chance to grow isn't it?
Its kinda why I haven't gotten depressed for like 1 year and a half because mainly im able to appreciate the details of life a lot better and if my mind is being stupid for no reason then I just try to clear the problem asap before my mind goes rampart.. because I know I tend to worry a lot for no reason.
And that also calmed down recently too because I took the steps necessary to get rid of it.
Mystic says
that's so important
there's so many people who think if they just ignore it then eventually it'll go away and they can be happy again
Roustane Benzeguir says
well temporarily yes, but eventually you cant run away from the problem lol
Mystic says
but they never realise that another problem will come up and they'll have to wait for that to go away and another and another. And then the first problem will come back and the second and they'll just be living a constant misery. They stay level 1 and keep walking deeper into life until they reach their limits.
Roustane Benzeguir says
Like my mind for a while is going off about how i should join the gym, so until then it's always gonna be there lol
Mystic says
they usually are the ones who complain about how **** life is
Roustane Benzeguir says
lol
Ya i dont understand how they can take it for so long
Mystic says
me neither
Roustane Benzeguir says
i certainly can't bear it anymore, the stone that's burning in your hand. I kept that when you said that to me. How long before you realize that the fire is hurting you? lol
Mystic says
getting 1 shot by everyone over and over a million times a day has to get pretty damn annoying.. you'd think they'd realise they should take a few steps back and start leveling up some cuz they can't win the way they're going
Roustane Benzeguir says
lol ya
Mystic says
yeah that stone is such a good metaphor
anger is like holding a burning stone with the intention of throwing it at someone
Roustane Benzeguir says
It's funny because no one in the smash community understands **** all what im saying but I mention to them but it's so simple, how can you not see it!? lol
Mystic says
lol
Roustane Benzeguir says
it's like are they buried that badly inside their minds? They make things super complicated when you can just do stuff to succeed? lol
Mystic says
it's amazing but we can't really see how high we are. Once people stop understanding us we just have no way to judge our progress haha.
Roustane Benzeguir says
sort of lol, you are like the only one that can break the things i say lol
Mystic says
hahhaha break the things you say
I see what you mean tho
Roustane Benzeguir says
and sometimes i cant even understand what you are saying lmao
a little but still its tough
It's like.. I'm supposed to let go now? No way, I need to fight and crush faces some more! lol
Mystic says
I'm happy that those seeds of the past are growing into nice trees