Airwalkerr
Smash Journeyman
Link to original post: [drupal=2768]One blog to rule them all, One blog to bind them.[/drupal]
So, I was recently exploring the blog section here on SWF, and found out that Frown, a great user on these boards, had made a blog chart. In this chart were listed all the kinds of blogs that will be encountered. As a commemoration to my boredom, I will post my own blog entailing all of these components. Ahem, as a pitiful form of entertainment if you are as bored as I am at 3:33 am, feel free to guess at the nature of each paragraph that represents the type of blog.
Numbah 1: "I don't know what is wrong with me. It has been months and months since I started playing Smash. I was obsessed. It started as curiosity. I loved guys who wear tiaras, and I also love it if they have long thin objects that they swing around carelessly, often hurting the unprepared men and women that come into contact with them. Yes, I loved Marth. I would often stroke my nipples while watching videos of M2K 0-deathing space animals. After months and months, however, my nipples have failed to get any harder. So, try and stop me, give me attention, I am QUITTING SMASH FOREVER!!!! Unless this anonymous players nipple stroking has a profound effect on anybody.... Who might wanna stop me.... Please....? Anybody??????"
Numbah 2: OP"I can't get this one girl out of my head. I think I'm in love"
First poster"Yea, love is pretty crazy. I once loved a girl. We dated for years. And then she saw that commercial for eggo waffles, where the waffle says "Leggo My Eggo!" and dumped me for some french guy who works at a waffle factory and has a mustache."
Second poster "OMFG I LOVE WAFFLES!"
OP "can waffles get a sun-tan?"
....... etc.
Numbah 3: I'm 12 years old today. My mother just got divorced and remarried within a month. And I love a girl who is real hot and sweet unlike any other girl i have ever seen. I don't think she even knows I exist... She is so awesome and hawt and cool and sweet and explosions. Her name is Megan Fox. I've become so depressed about her in my old age that I hardly even sleep anymore. I just stay up, watching old episodes of Yu-Gi-Oh, wishing I could hold Megan Fox in my arms and tell her I love her, and that I would treat her better than anyone else and provide for her. I sent her a letter telling her how I feel and I got a letter back saying " Awwwe, thanks hun. Go buy Transformers 2 on DVD now!" Love, Megan Fox. So she does love me! But I just don't know if I should ask her out or not... Shes so awsgum. Iughh... Im feeling kinda woozy. Woe is me, life sucks, why can't anybody understand all my problemssssssssss..... Allllllll myyyyyyyyy problemssssssssssssss...... Whyyyyyyyy can't anybodyyyyyyyy understandddddddddd! Life is devoid of meaning if nobody can udnerstand my problemssssss.....
Numbah 4: Not really sure what a Koth is.... So I'm gonna bust a rap:
When my beat gets rolling,
I get flowing
Going to the grocery to see what's growing
Looking to my left,
I peep a fat chef.
Looks as if he's cooking some pasta for his guests!
****! Could be tasty
Could be real f**king tasty!!!
Hmmm....
Now my hunger got me contemplating ,
So I started conversating,
When all a sudden I started hyperventilating!
Bah, huff puff huff
Get me a bag, make sure it tough!
Ack, huff puff huff
Running out of oxygen,
hope my GF calls again,
When all of a sudden I ran out of ideas to rhyme again!
You get the point.
Numbah 5: The closest thing I have for an essay on this computer. Please note: rather long and ridiculous, don't worry, every other write-up was 90% material, this was just for the lol's. It was for a Death of a Salesman English 30 project. It was supposed to be a police report about who was responsible for Willy Loman's death. Out of the 6 write-ups I did, this was the comic relief:
Our second suspect in this case is an odd choice, and you may question our reasoning in including him. Let me give some back-story: exhausted from our extensive investigation, Detective Fitzgerald and I decided to take a day off and relax. However on our way to a steakhouse, we were caught in a flock of rabid teenage girls, and dragged into a nearby movie theater. With no escape in sight, I hunkered down and awaited my fate.
Twilight started playing, and we were soon introduced to the handsome vampire protagonist, Edward Cullen. Something about the past he described seemed suspicious, and I began to brainstorm. Coming up with no plausible connections to the Willy Loman case, I was forced to snort a moose-hair and star fruit infusion my witch doctor friend Chaco had made. I started seeing some really wild hallucinations until finally; I saw what I needed to see: the connection between Cullen and Willy. Cullen had an affair with Willy back in the 50's. He had just become a vampire and was very sexually confused, when Willy came waltzing up to Edwards vampire gazebo looking to sell some ‘units’. They fell madly in love, and Willy – Spider monkey, as Edward affectionately called him – began leaving home on business trips more and more often to see him.
Their love was not meant to be however, and Edward left to go play baseball one afternoon, but never came back. Willy was heartbroken and began trying to kill himself, because he could not live without Edward. Magic purple trees started growing out of his eye lids, and he became a big bumbling goose with an incurable infatuation for pumpkin pie made out of rainbow hilted scissors… I awoke to find Detective Fitzgerald slapping me, and yelling at me for erasing a case file, and replacing it with nonsense about some fictional vampire. Too lazy to retype the old file, we kept Cullen, who could not be considered responsible due to his non-existence. Not to mention his dreamy vampire eyes.
This is the best I could do. Number six is all encompassing; I just hope you agree with it. Here’s the guide I used for blog entries, enjoy if you can: http://i34.tinypic.com/72zqxw.jpg
Now if you'll excuse me, I have no time to poke fun at the trends of online blogging, for I have a rather large amount of homework. Good day.
So, I was recently exploring the blog section here on SWF, and found out that Frown, a great user on these boards, had made a blog chart. In this chart were listed all the kinds of blogs that will be encountered. As a commemoration to my boredom, I will post my own blog entailing all of these components. Ahem, as a pitiful form of entertainment if you are as bored as I am at 3:33 am, feel free to guess at the nature of each paragraph that represents the type of blog.
Numbah 1: "I don't know what is wrong with me. It has been months and months since I started playing Smash. I was obsessed. It started as curiosity. I loved guys who wear tiaras, and I also love it if they have long thin objects that they swing around carelessly, often hurting the unprepared men and women that come into contact with them. Yes, I loved Marth. I would often stroke my nipples while watching videos of M2K 0-deathing space animals. After months and months, however, my nipples have failed to get any harder. So, try and stop me, give me attention, I am QUITTING SMASH FOREVER!!!! Unless this anonymous players nipple stroking has a profound effect on anybody.... Who might wanna stop me.... Please....? Anybody??????"
Numbah 2: OP"I can't get this one girl out of my head. I think I'm in love"
First poster"Yea, love is pretty crazy. I once loved a girl. We dated for years. And then she saw that commercial for eggo waffles, where the waffle says "Leggo My Eggo!" and dumped me for some french guy who works at a waffle factory and has a mustache."
Second poster "OMFG I LOVE WAFFLES!"
OP "can waffles get a sun-tan?"
....... etc.
Numbah 3: I'm 12 years old today. My mother just got divorced and remarried within a month. And I love a girl who is real hot and sweet unlike any other girl i have ever seen. I don't think she even knows I exist... She is so awesome and hawt and cool and sweet and explosions. Her name is Megan Fox. I've become so depressed about her in my old age that I hardly even sleep anymore. I just stay up, watching old episodes of Yu-Gi-Oh, wishing I could hold Megan Fox in my arms and tell her I love her, and that I would treat her better than anyone else and provide for her. I sent her a letter telling her how I feel and I got a letter back saying " Awwwe, thanks hun. Go buy Transformers 2 on DVD now!" Love, Megan Fox. So she does love me! But I just don't know if I should ask her out or not... Shes so awsgum. Iughh... Im feeling kinda woozy. Woe is me, life sucks, why can't anybody understand all my problemssssssssss..... Allllllll myyyyyyyyy problemssssssssssssss...... Whyyyyyyyy can't anybodyyyyyyyy understandddddddddd! Life is devoid of meaning if nobody can udnerstand my problemssssss.....
Numbah 4: Not really sure what a Koth is.... So I'm gonna bust a rap:
When my beat gets rolling,
I get flowing
Going to the grocery to see what's growing
Looking to my left,
I peep a fat chef.
Looks as if he's cooking some pasta for his guests!
****! Could be tasty
Could be real f**king tasty!!!
Hmmm....
Now my hunger got me contemplating ,
So I started conversating,
When all a sudden I started hyperventilating!
Bah, huff puff huff
Get me a bag, make sure it tough!
Ack, huff puff huff
Running out of oxygen,
hope my GF calls again,
When all of a sudden I ran out of ideas to rhyme again!
You get the point.
Numbah 5: The closest thing I have for an essay on this computer. Please note: rather long and ridiculous, don't worry, every other write-up was 90% material, this was just for the lol's. It was for a Death of a Salesman English 30 project. It was supposed to be a police report about who was responsible for Willy Loman's death. Out of the 6 write-ups I did, this was the comic relief:
Our second suspect in this case is an odd choice, and you may question our reasoning in including him. Let me give some back-story: exhausted from our extensive investigation, Detective Fitzgerald and I decided to take a day off and relax. However on our way to a steakhouse, we were caught in a flock of rabid teenage girls, and dragged into a nearby movie theater. With no escape in sight, I hunkered down and awaited my fate.
Twilight started playing, and we were soon introduced to the handsome vampire protagonist, Edward Cullen. Something about the past he described seemed suspicious, and I began to brainstorm. Coming up with no plausible connections to the Willy Loman case, I was forced to snort a moose-hair and star fruit infusion my witch doctor friend Chaco had made. I started seeing some really wild hallucinations until finally; I saw what I needed to see: the connection between Cullen and Willy. Cullen had an affair with Willy back in the 50's. He had just become a vampire and was very sexually confused, when Willy came waltzing up to Edwards vampire gazebo looking to sell some ‘units’. They fell madly in love, and Willy – Spider monkey, as Edward affectionately called him – began leaving home on business trips more and more often to see him.
Their love was not meant to be however, and Edward left to go play baseball one afternoon, but never came back. Willy was heartbroken and began trying to kill himself, because he could not live without Edward. Magic purple trees started growing out of his eye lids, and he became a big bumbling goose with an incurable infatuation for pumpkin pie made out of rainbow hilted scissors… I awoke to find Detective Fitzgerald slapping me, and yelling at me for erasing a case file, and replacing it with nonsense about some fictional vampire. Too lazy to retype the old file, we kept Cullen, who could not be considered responsible due to his non-existence. Not to mention his dreamy vampire eyes.
This is the best I could do. Number six is all encompassing; I just hope you agree with it. Here’s the guide I used for blog entries, enjoy if you can: http://i34.tinypic.com/72zqxw.jpg
Now if you'll excuse me, I have no time to poke fun at the trends of online blogging, for I have a rather large amount of homework. Good day.
P.S: what is "Koth Bustin". I have yet to encounter one of his (?) blogs
