letting go

[~Radiance~]

Link to original post: [drupal=4742]letting go[/drupal]



inb4emopostQQ//

Letting go is hard. Ive been out of the competitive scene for well over a year now, and I still can't let go. At school, i run a smash club, and it saddens me because even though im good enough to beat anyone there, I cant feel happy when i play anymore. My main, pikachu, was good when i played, and now i cant play him, despite that I win almost every game, despite the fact that I believe he is now not good enough for me. My main isn't bad by any means, ESAM and KPrime have proven that to us, but I cant touch him anymore because i feel I as a player make him look bad, and that i don't deserve to play pikachu as crappily as i do now. Ive been maining marth for over a year now, and im not happy still because i feel this desire to want to be contributing to my main, but i feel I have nothing I can contribute. I even said I would take up a guide for pika's AT's with another pikachu, VoltStorm, but I feel so useless as if I shouldn't be making it and should know when to just call it a game and stop trying to reintegrate myself back into the pikachu community, as well as the brawl community. This is just hard i suppose because im teaching all these people at my schools club, and it makes me happy to know im helping people who want to get better, but I cant stop feeling ive overstayed my welcome and that maybe I need to learn when its over. This is my senior year of college, im applying to a grad program for school psychology at the end of this year, and even though i have so many priorities for school, i still cant seem to draw myself away from this game. I only play once a week now on Sundays at my club, but i sometimes feel that even that is too much since im trying to help new people improve, and i cant stop feeling that maybe this is not something I should be doing with my senior year, maybe i have better things I could be doing. I have a girlfriend, enough money to pay for the things i want, im applying to grad school soon, but still i just done feel happy about my relations with smash, which i think stems mostly from my regret that i know im away from the scene, but i crave it. Ill never forget the tourneys where i wore my headband and latias plush with me, or the time i went to APEX and went with Rollerking, Ussi, and Leaf to six flags, plus the great matches we got hyped for. Yet the last time i went to visit them after G2 at Antioch, i felt so distant and cold. I felt that, despite them being happy i was there, that i didnt belong. My pikachu was bad, and I had no passion for playing as i did when i first mained pikachu. This whole post may seem //wrists to most of you, but i just wanted to say how i felt in words to, well, anyone i suppose. Letting go has been a hard experience, especially since I was so passionate about this game, and now it just seems everything's changed around here and my integration into what once was my scene is almost unrecoverable, but in the end, i guess the memories are what we hold onto in the longrun. sorry for all the uncaptialized I's by the way.

 

[~Radiance~]

also, if i havent said it enough times yet, thanks all of my pikas who made playing this game competitvley such a great experience.

KayLo!
K Prime
RollerKing
Leaf
Ussi
VoltStorm
Zeroxius
Mello
Shiro

 

[TL?]

Maybe, you're slowly realizing, that brawl is, actually not as good as you may have once thought, and also that it's not good. Perhaps consider, that brawl is just a cabbage game, and not balanced at all, and overall negative enjoyable. Maybe you don't feel excited while playing brawl, because that is the normal reaction, to things that are boring, also, please stop writing like this, you are a senior in college, but use too many commas, and never separate sentences, into paragraphs, and then pretend, non capitalized i's would make your blog, less readable. You're either confused, or a really hilarious, or good, troll.

 

[KassandraNova]

When I read this, this song popped into my head.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4_5c1OJXc4

This post really does make me sad. Because I've had something like this happen to me. Which I don't want to rant about here, because this is your blog. ^_^

It may be that you're realizing that this game no longer makes you happy, and you're just now realizing what a habit this game has truly become. It used to be something more than a habit, but now this is what it is. Routine. :/
Maybe try playing something else, or just focus on yourself and try to find another hobby that you find to be more productive, or something that you have passion for.

 

[Sucumbio]

It used to be something more than a habit, but now this is what it is. Routine. :/

This. I hope that one day you'll find that spark that made the game awesome for you once more, but until then, I'd suggest putting it down and walking away. It was really hard for me too, but I had help, my Wii broke, disc broke, and despite offers from other smashers to help me replace my ****, I said "nah" and never looked back.

Until this x-mas when I get a new black Wii and a copy of Brawl again *sigh* [my THIRD Wii, POS nintendo half-***ed hardware engineering] ("dude, just get a Wii-U!"... we'll see)]. But yeah, I totally sympathize, this has happened to me on a few games, and it just sucks, cause there's no real remedy. As someone somewhere once said, you don't truly know how much you love something until it's gone.

 

[Elyssa Xey Hexen]

@TL?: Its a forum post. You do not need to put that much effort into proper and formal English. That can get really bothersome at times when we can clearly understand what is being stated.

@FZ: I think you might be a little hard on yourself. Everyone can contribute something in there own way. I think trying to advance the meta game of some character is really hard on your own, but helping others get involved is worth a lot more. If you honestly had fun playing and simply getting involved with the community by either helping out or socializing it can still be worth staying around just for that. But good luck in grad school.

 

[~Radiance~]

Maybe, you're slowly realizing, that brawl is, actually not as good as you may have once thought, and also that it's not good. Perhaps consider, that brawl is just a cabbage game, and not balanced at all, and overall negative enjoyable. Maybe you don't feel excited while playing brawl, because that is the normal reaction, to things that are boring, also, please stop writing like this, you are a senior in college, but use too many commas, and never separate sentences, into paragraphs, and then pretend, non capitalized i's would make your blog, less readable. You're either confused, or a really hilarious, or good, troll.

cool story bro

@Xeylode and Sucumbio: thanks for the support, and I totally feel what you said is true. I think that im never gonna be able to go to tournies and that in essence makes me sad, but by helping others play and make them better, I can give back what i took so long to learn. support appreciated, thanks a lot both of you. and xeylode, do i know you from somewhere? i feel bad that i dont because you know my ACTUAL tag lol

 

[Akumin Beast]

Passion is a flame that will forever remain unscrutinized; a flame that can never die.

Good post.

 

[Shorts]

I think you could just be slowly moving on. It's going to be painful of course. Smash seems to be what YOU DID with a lot of really awesome people. It would be sort of like losing Christmas day, in a way. It's this awesome event with everyone you like and losing something that you care that deeply about and is ingrained into you is something that is going to hurt.

My question is: Is it Smash you're done with? Or Brawl specifically? Do you feel yourself losing videogames in general? Or?... is it just specifically the competitive side of Brawl?

 

[~Radiance~]

its defenitley not videogames, i play them still. i do youtube vids of bad games with my friend quite a bit now haha, its just the competitve scene that i feel ive lost.

 

[Ussi]

Yo FZ~ first suggestion: paragraphs man, its hard to keep track where I'm reading in that text.

Now for the real reply:

I had a time where I quit brawl for around 9-11 months. But when I came back, I didn't sulk that I had sucked. Before I quit, when I played Kaylo, I was significantly better, when I came back, I lost to her. I wasn't discouraged cause of that, I just kept playing. I just thought, hey kaylo! got a lot better since we last played 9-11 months ago, I got some catching up to do.

I know how it feels, to crave to play smash, I do too, and its what brought me back. You just need to keep strong, not sulk.

 

[KirbyandSonicrock14]

You need to tell your story to SF4 and Marvel players. They need to realize they are playing a crappy game.

 

[Johnknight1]

You need to tell your story to SF4 and Marvel players. They need to realize they are playing a crappy game.

OMFG I nearly crapped myself with laughter!

But yeah, in Brawl something like that happened to me. It happened to a lot of us that hyped this game out of proportions thinking it would be a better Melee, yet more unique, and like an entirely new game, and it failed to do all but the last one of those competitively in my opinion.

When I was really into Brawl, I played nearly the entire roster like everyone else. However slowly over time, everyone felt really... stale. I stopped playing all but maybe 4 or 5 characters after 18 months, and as of last year, I stopped using my second favorite character, Marth, the last character that wasn't Toon Link that I used. I haven't even played as any character that isn't Toon Link casually, competitive, or whatever at all-aside from single-player modes. In Versus mode I just use Toon Link. Everyone just feels.. boring, underpowered, a victim of not being fit for the physics or game play, or just plain too campy or stalling-based.

Even though Toon Link was the character I wanted most BY FAR for Brawl (heck, I ran the thread for him before Brawl came out), I knew I would main him, I was initially pretty good with him, I love his play style, and I love playing him more than I ever thought I would, one character can only keep me coming back for more for so long without getting redundant.

In Melee I can play nearly any character and have fun, and if it starts getting redundant, I change characters and have fun with them.

Spoiler

tl;dr

That is why I decided to play Melee MROE! Melee MROE, Brawl less!!! (Toon Link aside) That is a philosophy worth smashing to!