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Let's just hope they don't get to Matt

FastFox

Faster than most vehicles
BRoomer
Joined
Aug 6, 2005
Messages
4,857
Location
The tall grass
Attack of the Penis Shrinkers!
From David Emery,

Outbreak of pubic panic sweeps Senegal

Move over, kidney thieves, the penis shrinkers are on the attack ... and under attack.

According to news bulletins out of West Africa earlier this month, lynch mobs were roaming the streets of Senegal hunting down foreigners believed to be sorcerers with the power to shrink men's penises. Allegedly, a handshake is all it takes.

Authorities in the capital city, Dakar, were frustrated in their attempts to defuse public hysteria after local newspapers began publishing photos of the purported "sex thieves" and a radio disc jockey claimed he had personally witnessed the "shriveled genitals" of a victim.

"The scenario of dread is consistent," reported Agence France-Presse.
"Someone who makes brief physical contact with a stranger on the street claims to get a chill, then declares that his penis is shrinking."
The phenomenon would be strictly laughable had not at least eight of the scores of suspected perpetrators attacked so far by vigilantes in Dakar and Ziguinghor been beaten or burned to death. Such is the havoc superstition can wreak.

The rumor is believed to have migrated from the neighboring countries of Cameroon, Ivory Coast, and Ghana, where similar mob scenes were reported earlier this year. Outbreaks of magical "penis shrinking" or "penis snatching" are not uncommon in West Africa. At least some of the hysteria is blamed on ethnic hostilities, but psychologists also cite the lack of education among African males, widespread belief in black magic and the loss of personal identity "in the face of an increasingly complex world."

The power of magic is not taken lightly in this region, which retains strong folk traditions of witchcraft and shamanism. The practice of Voodoo, the hybrid religion that took root in Haiti hundreds of years ago via the slave trade, had its origins in West Africa and still thrives there. The ancient fear of genital-stealing magicians may be a cultural analog of the psychological disorder known as "koro," or "delusions and acute fear of penis shrinkage."

The official line is that the current rumors are baseless, maliciously circulated by local thieves looking to profit from the ensuing panic. Indeed, it has been widely reported that the penis-snatching sorcerers are always sighted in the company of accomplices offering to sell unfortunate victims a quick cure. It reeks of a scam, yet the public remains credulous.

Authorities are resorting to extraordinary measures to cope with an extraordinary situation. Ahmadou Tall, Dakar's Chief of Police, went so far as to state that he had personally examined the genitals of several self-proclaimed "victims" and found no evidence to support their charges. "All the penises that I have seen are in the right place and they are quite normal," he told Agence France-Presse. Whether or not such measures will prove an antidote to what psychologist Mamadou Mboj has unabashedly labeled a "collective psychosis" remains to be seen.
 

Dibs

Smash Lord
Joined
Feb 2, 2006
Messages
1,754
I'd like to see them even think about trying this on me.



*EDIT*
"All the penises that I have seen are in the right place and they are quite normal,"
Oh man.. What a job... is that you Meaty?

*EDIT2*
1000th post in an epic post about penises, I wouldn't have it any other way =D.
 

Matt

Banned via Administration
Joined
Jul 12, 2001
Messages
7,822
Location
Soviet Russia
My ***** shrinks every time I go into Wal-Mart and I have the misfortune of seeing the average American woman. That is, a 300 lb possibly Hispanic woman in sweat pants who mistook cooking oil for shampoo and who is surrounded by no less than 3 screaming unruly children. This woman is 20.

Also, Scav's mom lolz
 

Xsyven

And how!
BRoomer
Joined
Oct 14, 2002
Messages
14,069
Location
Las Vegas
My ***** shrinks every time I go into Wal-Mart and I have the misfortune of seeing the average American woman. That is, a 300 lb possibly Hispanic woman in sweat pants who mistook cooking oil for shampoo and who is surrounded by no less than 3 screaming unruly children. This woman is 20.

Also, Scav's mom lolz
AAAAAHAHAH. That's frickin' amazing. I just got back from Walmart, and saw that exact thing!

...except she was on one of those motorized carts.

And it's not that she was crippled, or anything. She was just fat.
 

Jazzy Jinx

♥♪!?
Joined
Jun 22, 2006
Messages
4,035
Location
Location, Location
Come now Skywalker, you know you want to say man-on-man ACTION. If you think I mean that in a sexual way, congrats. I did mean it in a sexual way...

Hey Dibs! So I heard it twirls around and hits your a** occasionally...
 
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