Legend of Zelda Choose Your own Adventure Story

[nintendoxxx1]

Yet another choose your own adventure by Nintendoxxx1!

"Swish, swish! Buzz!!!"
Navi whizzed around a sleeping Link in the Kokiri Forest treehouse.
"Hey!", tweeted Navi. "Wake up Link!"
Link grumbled in his small, wool sleeping bed. The bed was sheered from the fine sheep of Lon Lon Ranch, and was a gift Link's mom had given him just before she died in the Hylian War.
"Wake up!"
Link slowly got up out of his bed.
"Did you forget?", said Navi. "Today is the Annual Kokiri Festival.
Link opened his eyes immedietly. "Really?!", he said. "There's so many activities to do!" Link hopped out of bed and out the door. Link halted.
"Wait", he said. "I don't even know what to do first!"
"Need some time to think?", said Navi.
Link nodded.

A. Kokiri Wood Carving Contest
B. Kokiri Forest Tour
C. Kokiri Limbo
D. Let Navi choose

 

[nintendoxxx1]

I vote for D.

 

[nintendoxxx1]

Uh... Sorry for triple posting, but... WHY IN THE WORLD IS NOBODY POSTING???!!!

 

[Blackadder]

Hmmm?

This is the creative minds room, and it can be slow, or fast with replies, and readers. But with your story, here the the troubles, and prolly why people arne't replying.

Content
Most people prolly aren't posting due to the...well, content of this story.
It's hardly exciting, and I that kinda makes the average reader think "Well, this isn't that great" and they go of on there merry way.
Try to jazz up the story.

Name
The name is just an attraction, and your story name isn't all that interesting.
Maybe if it was more attractive people would click on the thread more?

Originality
This story is pretty dull, really. Run of the mill to me. I suggest you beef it up, make it a bit more interesting. Add metaphores, diverse words, cool characters. That'll attract people. XD

So, I think, in all, you should buff the story up a fair bit.
Try it. Read some of the other stories floating around, see how they write.

I think it's just, really, that this story isn't that interesting, captivating, or imaginative.
BUT.
I think you can improve it. If you have the bother to write it in the first instance, surely you have the bother to make it more "YOWZA"?

Good luck man! And PM me anytime for help if you want.
better yet, check out Scav's handbook.
it's the locked thread near the top of the thread list.
Read that, it'll help too.

 

[Armagopalypse]

Well, I know what it's like for no one to be reading your stuff, so heck I'll pick D. And yeah, I fully agree with every last comment Blackadder just said. Specifically with the lack of people in this forum. It's a real shame. If we got some fresh blood this forum would be seven times the place it currently is. I suggest just linking your stories/ poems somewhere in your sig, on the offchance that it will bring someone new to these forums.

 

[SuperLinkBrothers]

oh yeah, how could I not post on anything Zelda-related in the Creative Minds Section!!!!!
Sorry, it took me so long, I didn't see it, but, now I'm ere, I'll definetley stay here unless, something goes wrong with my computer or the story gets REALLY lame...

So anyway, now you know you have another reader....

...and I've got some tips....

I agree with Blackadder first of all. Now I think they way you described that little bit was good. It was pretty good for such a small amount. I think you have to make it more excititng, I mean nothing happened that just Pipes up interest, and most important is you MUST make your posts longer! That Is Important, I realize your kind of new here, but, well, everyone gets better over time with stories, so, im sure you'll be fine!

In any case, I vote for D as well, hmmm, Navi, oh, ribght, from Oot, sorry, I've been playing TWP a lot recentley, I forgot all the other games existed, XD!

All right, remember that you will get better over time, and dont make a big deal when no one posts, because as Armagopylyspe said, not many people post here...

I've seen... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 people who post a whole lot, I guess, well, actually like 7, and then there are other people who post here.... once in a while. So, I hope you enjoy writing.

P.S. GO LINK!!!