kein Betreff

[Эикельманн [РУС]]

Link to original post: [drupal=3054]kein Betreff[/drupal]



Before you continue to read, please note that this is a serious blog, and i would apreciate strictly serious responses. Thanks in advance.



In the past few months, I've been constantly trying to keep a steady and successful pace with my life. The poverty, illness, and famine that stroll around my household on an everyday basis are often overwhelming. To ever think I would be in such a position, from a middle class family in peaceful and cute Rockland County, New York, to a family based on food stamps and child support in Citrus County, Florida, would have been hardly imaginable. But I am, and I've been forced to improvise over the past year. It has indeed been hard.

Many people have noticed my immense size change. From friends to family, they've all been impressed and wowed by my change in appearance over such a short amount of time. True as it may be, I do exercise. I weight lift at school every day for about an hour and 10 minutes, and I walk for 30 minutes around my neighborhood. But these are but a few things that have helped me change. The main thing that has affected me so much is how much I eat. Yes, on a daily basis I eat one meal, and drink my daily gallon of water. If I'm lucky, I'll be able to rip off the cafeteria in the morning and slide in a miniscule breakfast, but aside from this, my stomach is rarely full.

My "new" size and shape is but a testament to the malnutrition I've been under for the past year now. Trust me when I say waking up and going to sleep with an empty stomach is one of the hardest things I've had to live with in my life.

I don't write this blog out of need for self pity. Pity is for the weak, and I am not weak. I am, however, looking for advice. Help from my peers. Very rarely have I come to the feet of my peers in a desperate attempt to reorganize my life, as I dislike being helped by others. It is a pet peeve of mine, if you will, to be forced to take from others.

But now I've given up all hope.

Reader, you may be grief stricken now after reading my words. You may even hold contempt against me as I whine and bellow my sorrows and misfortunate events to your eyes. This is not important. My questions to you, however, are. If you have any care for me, you will do your best to answer them.

What do I do to stop these unwanted changes in my life? How can I regain control of my life again?

Where there are difficulties in my physical life, there are also many difficulties in my emotional life as well.

Those who knew me well would quickly say I was once a highly optimistic person, whom always looked at life in the best fashion possible. They would say that my kindness and maturity was unlimited. This personality that I've once had is also diminishing, along with my health. I've become perhaps, the most cynical person you could imagine. I've lost all sense of this "optimism" that I once had, and I'm much more of a realist, as I look at everything now with the utmost logic and sense when faced with a hard situation. Even my spiritual views and political views are changing drastically. I'm becoming more faithful towards this "Christian" god, and I'm starting to lose the sense of communism that I once had. Everything is changing.

I can't honestly say I am not fond of this change, though. The benefits to being cynical and logical are unimaginable. With this newfound sense of intelligence, I also have a newfound thirst for knowledge that is unquenchable. I constantly philosophize about life, and society. But unlike whom I used to be, my personality shifts. I can't figure out who I want to be. This thirst for knowledge and constant philosophy is more or less, a battle of who I would rather be. "Cynical and logical?", or "Kind and Optimistic?"

Its nerve racking, and I don't know how to make up my mind. I can't have both, can I? How do I be who I want to be?

Now, with this personality bout comes something I hardly ever speak about with anyone, ever. It

 

[Anthony523]

I didn't want to answer to this, but I felt the need to.
At first when I was reading It sounded like you had a good workout routine and stuff until I read
"Yes, on a daily basis I eat one meal, and drink my daily gallon of water."
And if your wondering why your overweight one contributing factor is the amount of water your drinking...
Sure water is good, it's required for the life of you and I. There's 1 problem though, water weighs a lot, and it doesn't sound like your sweating what your drinking. If anything you should drink some sort of healthy drink that will add some nutrition to your diet.
Another thing, how much are you eating for your 1 meal... is it like 1 square meal, 1 large meal, 1 small meal?
To be honest I absolutely hate fat people, I just wonder how someone can become so large... but something that angers me much more is someone starving themselves to lose weight.
TIP: Muscle is heavier than fat. That may contribute to your weight.

 

[Super_Sonic8677]

I don't really think the food thing is the main point of this blog. .____.;

I've always lived that way, though I'm not quite at the extent you are right now, so I understand in some ways and I don't in others.

You can be logical and optimistic, but you if you want to stay true to your values...you do kind of have to pick one..

Sorry I can't give good advice on this subject, I'm doing some soul searching of my own right now..

 

[Teran]

Where do you live?

Because if you live in a developed country, there is no reason you should be going hungry. End of. Look at your expenditure, cut corners somewhere I dunno. I really can't judge anything about your finances of course, but it just strikes me as outrageous that in a developed country you can't get enough to eat.

As university students who've blown every single penny on useless things, we still somehow scrape enough out of the bottom of our wallets to feed ourselves.

 

[Эикельманн [РУС]]

When I typed this blog up, I lived in Crystal River, Florida. Its obviously a developed state, but it was nowhere near a stable budget for food expenses. Not to mention its in the middle of nowhere. A poverty ridden city. 200 dollars a month for a house of 8 is what we were given from food stamps: at this time, of course.

My finances were not stable. You're right, though. In the sense you speak of, I should have been fine.


This blog is basically saying, in TL;DR form.....


"How can I find myself, how can I reshape my physical self, and how can I control my emotions to the point that I can ignore females"


Though that small sentance hardly does my blog justice.

 

[Эикельманн [РУС]]

I didn't want to answer to this, but I felt the need to.
At first when I was reading It sounded like you had a good workout routine and stuff until I read
"Yes, on a daily basis I eat one meal, and drink my daily gallon of water."
And if your wondering why your overweight one contributing factor is the amount of water your drinking...
Sure water is good, it's required for the life of you and I. There's 1 problem though, water weighs a lot, and it doesn't sound like your sweating what your drinking. If anything you should drink some sort of healthy drink that will add some nutrition to your diet.
Another thing, how much are you eating for your 1 meal... is it like 1 square meal, 1 large meal, 1 small meal?
To be honest I absolutely hate fat people, I just wonder how someone can become so large... but something that angers me much more is someone starving themselves to lose weight.
TIP: Muscle is heavier than fat. That may contribute to your weight.

Lol, you completely missed my point. Completely.

I am in no way fat. I weigh 179 pounds, I'm 6'2, and I'm 14% body fat. I've been doing Martial Arts (not including Kendo), and weight lifting for almost 3+ years now. I also play ITG/PIU on a daily basis as recreation. For about at least 3 hours a day. I'm not gaining all water weight. I excercise as much as possible under my conditions for my age.

The meals were normal meals.


So, you see, the problem here isn't that I'm fat, its that I'm not healthy enough, and I decided to come to the community here out of hopelessness to see what you people would advise I do to regain my health.


But perhaps that is hopeless, too.

 

[#HBC | Acrostic]

This is getting old.

 

[Teran]

Put good variety in your diet (try and cut down on high carb/fat foods).

Get fruit, get vegetables, keep your exercise routine going, it doesn't matter how much protein you take in, you can get rid of excess digested protein through urination.

Drink well too, but it seems you get sufficient fluids.

Thing is on a limited budget, it might be hard to achieve this, since when you eat on a budget, most stuff is processed garbage which is high carb/fat.

 

[El Nino]

But perhaps that is hopeless, too.

Start with a story about throwing someone off a balcony. That helps.

My guess is that your cynicism and lack of optimism could stem from not being in control of the situation you're in. Your family's income is what's going to determine what food you can eat, and if you're a minor or not working, then you have little control over what you eat.

As Teran said, do what you can with what you have. Try looking at some dietary health sites. But I think the key to it is raising your income, which may have to wait until you're a legal adult if you're a minor, unless you can get a part-time job to help out. In the meantime, you can still plan ahead for that future. Might give you a reason to be optimistic.

 

[Эикельманн [РУС]]

Start with a story about throwing someone off a balcony. That helps.

My guess is that your cynicism and lack of optimism could stem from not being in control of the situation you're in. Your family's income is what's going to determine what food you can eat, and if you're a minor or not working, then you have little control over what you eat.

As Teran said, do what you can with what you have. Try looking at some dietary health sites. But I think the key to it is raising your income, which may have to wait until you're a legal adult if you're a minor, unless you can get a part-time job to help out. In the meantime, you can still plan ahead for that future. Might give you a reason to be optimistic.

These are the kinds of responses I've been looking for.

Thank you.

Put good variety in your diet (try and cut down on high carb/fat foods).

Get fruit, get vegetables, keep your exercise routine going, it doesn't matter how much protein you take in, you can get rid of excess digested protein through urination.

Drink well too, but it seems you get sufficient fluids.

Thing is on a limited budget, it might be hard to achieve this, since when you eat on a budget, most stuff is processed garbage which is high carb/fat.

Many thanks. I'll work out diet.

 

[Sucumbio]

Link to original post: [drupal=3054]kein Betreff[/drupal]

1.) What do I do to stop these unwanted changes in my life?

2.) How can I regain control of my life again?

3.) How do I be who I want to be?

(numbered for sake of ease)

1.) Depends on your age. If you're still a minor, very little. If you're an adult, plenty. Clarification would be necessary to further expound on this.

2.) See number 1.

3.) By first defining who you want to be. You've outlined the pros and cons of both, now its time to decide which is better. My choice would be a happy conglomeration of all the above. Be serious, but open minded. Be nice, but be smart. There's a balance to be struck, and you've handled your fall from luxury to lime admirably. Use that... tuck this away. This is a life experience that many folks go their whole lives nevering having experienced. Others would be traumatized for life. Don't let yourself slip into madness over this. I sense you're young, and yet highly mature for your age. That said, use that to your advantage. And pray that soon you'll get a break from having to be so mature, because the brain can only take so much misery.

On a side note, don't drink so much And if you get 1 meal a day, try breaking up the consumption of that meal over the course of the day. And stop working out so hard, your work out regimen is far greater than your caloric intake, and though you may have been a fat body before, you won't last long if you keep up such a rigorous pace.