Sandy
Smash Champion
This is my attempt to revive the PRoom. It will fail, as predicted by Xysven.
What's black, white, sometimes purple, and taps on glass?
A baby in a microwave.
Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work.
The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered."
The second said, "I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order."
The third said, "I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded.
The fourth one said, "I like to operate on lawyers. They're heartless spineless, gutless, and their heads and their *** are interchangeable."
Whats the difference between a lawyer and a sperm?
At least one has the chance of being a human being.
If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one...
Would you go to lunch or read the newspaper?
George Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk
he offers question time.
One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is.
"Billy."
"And what is your question, Billy?"
"I have 3 questions.
First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes?
And third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?"
Just then the bell rings for recess.
George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.
When they resume George says, "OK, where were we? Oh that's right question
time. Who has a question?"
Another little boy puts up his hand.
George points him out and asks him what his name is.
"Steve"
"And what is your question, Steve?"
"I have 5 questions.
First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes?
Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?
Fourth, why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early?
And fifth, what the f*#k happened to Billy?"
What's black, white, sometimes purple, and taps on glass?
A baby in a microwave.
Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work.
The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered."
The second said, "I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order."
The third said, "I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded.
The fourth one said, "I like to operate on lawyers. They're heartless spineless, gutless, and their heads and their *** are interchangeable."
Whats the difference between a lawyer and a sperm?
At least one has the chance of being a human being.
If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one...
Would you go to lunch or read the newspaper?
George Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk
he offers question time.
One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is.
"Billy."
"And what is your question, Billy?"
"I have 3 questions.
First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes?
And third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?"
Just then the bell rings for recess.
George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.
When they resume George says, "OK, where were we? Oh that's right question
time. Who has a question?"
Another little boy puts up his hand.
George points him out and asks him what his name is.
"Steve"
"And what is your question, Steve?"
"I have 5 questions.
First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes?
Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?
Fourth, why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early?
And fifth, what the f*#k happened to Billy?"
NEVER SAY TO A COP
>>
>> 1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)
>>
>> 2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
>>
>> 3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
>>
>> 4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
>>
>> 5. Are You Andy or Barney?
>>
>> 6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
>>
>> 7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
>>
>> 8. I pay your salary!
>>
>> 9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
>>
>> 10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
>>
>> 11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
>>
>> 12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"
>>
>> 1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)
>>
>> 2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
>>
>> 3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
>>
>> 4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
>>
>> 5. Are You Andy or Barney?
>>
>> 6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
>>
>> 7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
>>
>> 8. I pay your salary!
>>
>> 9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
>>
>> 10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
>>
>> 11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
>>
>> 12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"
