Snot Man
Smash Cadet
Hello there, Smash fans! Fancy seeing you here. I was just about to leave for a new trip back in time, to the dusty archives of Japan Time Time. Would you like to come along? This week, we will learn once more about the greatest Final Smash ever, discover the amazing Japan Time Time theme song, and… end on a cliffhanger. That’s right. I bet you can’t wait!
And since I’ve got a complete inability to learn from my mistakes, I’ll let you have another shot at driving the time machine. Remember, eighty-eight miles per hour, but don’t break any speed limits!
<p align="center"><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/item10_070917g.jpg" alt="It's not time for another stupid and long GaoGaiGar joke yet!" /></p>
<strong>That’s still not far enough in the past! This is Hammer Time, not Japan Time Time!</strong>
<img src="http://smashboards.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/phasedistorterfd1.png" alt="aLtErNaTiNg CaPs MaKe GoOd SaTuRn SpEeCh SuBsTiTuTe. BoInG!" /> <em>This is me speaking from the future via our Phase Distorter pal, as you know! I know this might sound crazy, but brace yourselves for the updates to come. You might have forgotten this, but the Smash Bros. Dojo could sometimes be very awesome. I heard that a man once read the following three updates without the proper mental preparation, and it <strong>killed him</strong>. Don’t be that man! Staple your socks on your feet and take a break if you think you can’t take it. Ready? Don’t say I didn’t warn you.</em>
<strong>WEEK #7: July 2nd to July 9th, 2007</strong>
<a href="http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/items/assist/assist01.html"><strong>Day 30: Entry 36: What are Assist Trophies?</strong></a>
<a href="http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/items/assist/assist02.html"><strong>Day 30: Entry 37: Samurai Goroh</strong></a>
<em>You may even see some that only the most dedicated fans will recognize, so you’ll have to look forward to them.</em>
Wait.
WAIT.
THIS IS IT.
YOU CAN COME OUT, GUYS!
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/gaijingoodfj6.png" alt="Gaijin 4koma and the people pictured are copyrighted to Anonymous. Please do not reproduce this image and the people in it without Anonymous' permission." />
<strong>OH YEEEEEEEAH!! </strong>Samurai Goroh is neat, but not neat enough to be playable, so it’s okay. I won’t add any more to this. Let’s just… savor the moment. I’ll speak more of assist trophies in the next entry concerning them, I think.
<strong>DAY #30 RATING: FIVE Triforces out of 5!</strong>
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" />
<a href="http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/characters/bowser.html"><strong>Day 31: Entry 38: Bowser</strong></a>
<em>If you think they’re all going to be the same as they have been, it’ll be rough for you.</em>
YES! It’s BOWSER! He’s BACK! And he looks freaking AWESOME! Don’t you think he looks cool? Yet he’s still the Bowser we know and love. They say he’ll have a different flavor this time around, which I take to mean “he won’t suck this time”. Life is GOOD!
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/gaijingoodfj6.png" alt="Maybe I should've had those guys rate manliness in my week 29 entry... Hmmmm..." />
<strong>TOTALLY APPROVED!</strong> Hoo hoo ha!… You guys’re still there…?!
<strong>DAY #31 RATING:</strong> 4 Triforces out of 5
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" />
<img src="http://smashboards.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/phasedistorterfd1.png" alt="yAhOo!" /> <em>If you’re wondering why I gave a 4 to a single entry about a character we’d be sure would come back, you’re already analyzing this too hard.</em>
<a href="http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/characters/bowser.html#3rd"><strong>Day 32: Entry 39: Bowser: Final Smash</strong></a>
<em>He’s huge! And tough!</em>
I HOPE MY BODY CAN TAKE IT!
Seriously, I know I’m overblowing it a bit, but weren’t those the <em><strong>best three days ever</strong></em>!? First you have this great new class of items that allows about a bajillion characters to appear and be awesome without being playable, then you’ve got the return of a cool character with a bitchin’ new look, and now… you have that character TURNING INTO HIS BOSS FORM FROM THE FIRST GAME! And he’s PLAYABLE! YES!
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/gaijingoodfj6.png" alt="Three friends and I once trained to perform that pose on cue while watching something awesome on TV. I daresay it makes things MORE awesome when you do that. Try it!" />
<strong>THIS IS THE BEST BLOG EVER! </strong><img src="http://smashboards.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/phasedistorterfd1.png" alt="BoRk BoRk BoRk..." /> <em>Are they talking about the Smash Bros. Dojo or the Super Smash Blog? It is a mystery.</em>
<strong>DAY #32 RATING: FIVE Triforces out of 5!</strong>
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" alt="THIS ALT TEXT IS A SECRET TO EVERYONE" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" />
<a href="http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/howto/basic/basic04.html"><strong>Day 33: Entry 40: Smash Attacks</strong></a>
<em>Now, if you simultaneously tilt the stick and press the button, you’ll do a smash attack.</em>
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/gaijinbadob3.png" alt="Cue your favorite 'Game Over' jingle. I suggest the classic 'Mario dies, Game Over', myself." />
<strong>…..</strong>No…
No…!
<strong>NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!</strong>
There is nothing to add. Just… scream with me here. It’ll do you good. There’s no sense holding the pain in. I don’t care if your neighbors think you’re crazy. Show them the previous three updates, then show them this one, and they’ll understand. They might even scream with you. And you’ll make a new friend!
Meanwhile… Look, you miserable little piece of dung calling itself a blog entry. You were one hair, <em>one hair</em> away from getting a zero. But you gave a tidbit new information we wanted to know about. Now we know how to smash with a Wiimote alone. This <em>tiny thing</em> is the only thing preventing me from putting you on a car loaded with lit dynamite.
<strong>DAY #33 RATING:</strong> 1 Triforce out of 5
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" />
<a href="http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/stages/stage05.html"><strong>Day 34: Entry 41: Bridge of Eldin</strong></a>
<em>Run! It’s King Bulblin and Lord Bullbo!</em>
Well, we’ve certainly been through a lot this week. But now we’re back to the normal world, the world of updates that won’t always either blow your freaking socks off or make you uncontrollably violent.
We’re now standing on the Bridge of Eldin, a sort of neat but, as far as I’ve seen in my short playtime so far, pretty much unremarkable landmark in Twilight Princess. You fight that guy (called… King Bulblin? Huh.) there once, and I think the bridge gets destroyed, but I doubt anything particularly important happens there after that. It’s a weird choice, isn’t it? I dig the panorama behind and how a new bridge is twilight-ported back in once it’s destroyed, but you’d have thought they’d pick a more Wikipedia-notable place to represent the game that everyone was freaking over about for two or three years or so.
Still, neato!
<strong>DAY #34 RATING:</strong> 3 Triforces out of 5
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" />
<strong>WEEK #7 OVERALL RATING:</strong> 4 Triforces out of 5 + Four Excited Guys!
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" />
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/gaijingoodfj6.png" alt="If I understand correctly, those guys are actually watching the first Twilight Princess trailer or something. How appropriate! Sort of." />
<strong>We’re back and we wanna say we still think this week was awesome!</strong> Hahaha, you wacky guys. Well, it’s been a crazy week, wasn’t it? And even then, it’s still just a four-iconer. Will we ever see a five-icon week? I have no idea. I can say it hasn’t happened yet, at least. Will we see those four guys again? You can bet your boots!
<img src="http://smashboards.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/phasedistorterfd1.png" alt="GrEaT sCoTt! ZoOm." /> <em>Once again, I make a prediction that will later become true, although you probably didn’t know that yet. Well, now you do. I will totally be abusing the Gaijin 4koma from now on. I think I’m also approaching the point where I suddenly lay off the inexplicable 4chan references, too.</em>
On to the next week! Let’s do the time warp and all that jazz.
<strong>WEEK #8: July 9th to July 13th, 2007</strong>
<a href="http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/howto/technique/technique02.html">
<strong>Day 35: Entry 42: Standard Combos</strong></a>
<em>Hee ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya!</em>
…
What the…
NO!
You know what? Here’s the entry I’d rather see instead.
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonjttdq8.png" />Snot Man’s Psyduck, straight from the German version of Pokemon, has entered the fray! What a cool guy!
With his Zen Headbutt, he’ll show our Brawlers what a thick skull REALLY is. It’s said that his theme song plays whenever he enters a stage….
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/finaldestination1en7.png" /> <img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/finaldestination2sp4.png" />
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/finaldestination3ic1.png" /> <img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/finaldestination4er4.png" />
<strong>DAY #35 RATING:</strong> FIVE Entons out of 5!!
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" />
…Look, just be glad it wasn’t a palette swapped Sonic sprite named “BlazeStryke” or something.
<img src="http://smashboards.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/phasedistorterfd1.png" alt="EnToN?!" /> <em>In case you were wondering, nope, I wasn’t aware of the <a href="http://mojo.rick-gardiner.com/en_us/index.html">Smash Bros. Mojo</a>’s existence at the time. I planned to do a few more of those “Here’s an entry I’d like to see instead” jokes after that, but then I read the Mojo and what I saw was funnier than what I probably would’ve done.</em>
<em>Now, okay. Enton might need some explanation. Usually I cut out those in-jokes or replace them with something else before posting them here, but Enton’s going to become important later. You see, I had gotten Pokemon Diamond recently at the time. I always liked Psyduck, and after watching the totally surreal <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zehSA0wX0f4">German Pokerap</a>, I decided to call it “Enton” from then on. I caught myself a Psyduck I EV trained and called Enton, and made a running gag out of it in various ways. The goggles and theme song I accessorized it with I’m not going to explain, but whoever gets the reference gets eight hundred cool points. Sadly, most people at the time weren’t actually aware of my personal Enton craze, so all the comments I got for that entry referred to it as just “Psyduck”. That, too, is going to be important later.</em>
Sigh. Guess I have to rate the real entry, don’t I?
<strong>DAY #35 RATING:</strong> ZERO DKs out of 5
<img src="http://smashboards.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/phasedistorterfd1.png" alt="i LiKe JaAaAaAm!" /> <em>Oh, right, we’re still in the past reading old reviews. I got carried away for a second.</em>
<a href="http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/items/assist/assist03.html"><strong>Day 36: Entry 43: Dr. Wright</strong></a>
<em>“Starting today, you’re the mayor!”</em>
Well, now THAT came out of the left field! Or so would I say if that guy wasn’t already in Melee in trophy form. Still, that IS rather amusing. Apparently, old Wright here has apparently gotten an upgrade giving him powers similar to the SimCity Mayor’s, only even stronger, allowing him to create buildings in mere seconds instead of in-game days or weeks! That’s rather terrifying, when you think about it.
But what’s up with what he’s saying here? Is he giving the title of Mayor to the Pokemon and strange people beating the crap out of each other? Is he being chased by angry citizens because his powers, fearsome as they were, weren’t enough to satisfy the masses after the original SimCity Mayor’s painful demise at the hands of an invading Giga Bowser? Maybe he really IS that desperate to pass the title on to someone. Anyone could do! His life is at stake here! But ironically, his powers, which he didn’t even want to begin with, go out of control, granting a new gruesome fate to the new Mayors. Clearly, his power is far more of a curse than a blessing. When will his pain stop?!
And hey, what happens to the buildings after that? Do they stay there, getting in the way? Do they poof out of existence? Do they immediately crumble? Maybe that’s the weakness to Wright’s nearly godlike power. He can manifest matter out of thin air, but whatever he creates is extremely fragile! Good god, Dr. Wright is like a green butt-shaped-haired Charlie Brown.
<strong>DAY #36 RATING:</strong> 4 DKs out of 5
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_02.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_02.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_02.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_02.gif" />
<a href="http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/items/item05.html"><strong>Day 37: Entry 44: Bumper</strong></a>
<em>Back again after a whole nine years… Well, I’ll be.</em>
Well, I wasn’t really among the people who thought the Flippers used in Melee for virtually the same thing sucked, but I’m still glad to see those for some reason. Maybe it’s because you know where you stand with bumpers. You DON’T approach them if you don’t wanna fly off. Meanwhile, with flippers… Eeeeeh, I dunno. Depends on how fast they spin. Wanna try touching ‘em? Oh, look, you flew off. Go on, try touching ‘em agai–
You know, that Witchblade anime DVD ad that’s been popping up everywhere lately? It’s on my update page right now and it’s really, really distracting. I’m just saying, please appreciate the great effort I’m making to bring you this update on time.
<img src="http://smashboards.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/phasedistorterfd1.png" alt="bOoBiEs?!" /> <em>Those ads aren’t around anymore as far as I know, but chances are you saw them when they were. They really were EVERYWHERE. Also, I type these things in WordPad now so this isn’t a problem anymore. Yay!</em>
<strong>DAY #37 RATING:</strong> 2 DKs out of 5
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_02.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_02.gif" />
<a href="http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/info/info01.html"><strong>Day 38: Entry 45: 15 Second Movie Presentation</strong></a>
<a href="http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/characters/donkeykong.html"><strong>Day 38: Entry 46: Donkey Kong</strong></a>
<em>December 3rd, 2007</em>
<img src="http://smashboards.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/phasedistorterfd1.png" alt="CaAaAaKe!" /> <em>THE DATE IS A LIE. THE DATE IS A LIE. THE DATE IS A LIE.</em>
<em>…*sob*</em>
Oh, right! It was E3 at the time, wasn’t it? On the day of the Bumper, Nintendo was doing its press conference. For those who didn’t follow it, it was basically 45 minutes of Nintendo congratulating itself, talking about a few games and peripherals we knew about already, going on at length about how they were making video games accessible to your grandma, going totally bonkers when they announced that the Wii would have a fitness game (and another peripheral!), and generally not saying anything a non-investor, non-casual gamer might give two flips about. EXCEPT! That they finally gave us a release date for the game! Sadly, I expected a new trailer to match the awesome one from a year ago and compensate for the lackluster “SPOILER: FOX IS IN!!” one. But nope, what we got was… no trailer! Unless you count fifteen seconds of gameplay as a trailer. (The site doesn’t, thank god! That would set a new low.)
BUT! If you looked carefully at those few seconds, you could catch a glimpse of Donkey Kong in action. They had NOT made a big deal out of it, and the observant got the little treat of knowing that tidbit one day before everyone else! Of course, no one DOUBTED that DK would be in the game, but hey. That was still sort of nice.
The score was created by using a complicated mathematical algorithm involving the cool factor of a release date, the suck factor of SSBB’s E3 presence, the eeeeh factor of DK himself, the alright factor of his semi-revamped look, and the nice factor of the little movie’s sort-of-easter egg!
<strong>DAY #38 RATING:</strong> 3 DKs out of 5
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_02.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_02.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_02.gif" />
<a href="http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/stages/stage06.html"><strong>Day 39: Entry 47: Smashville</strong></a>
<em>And the name…well… Go ahead and poke fun if you must.</em>
Well, now THAT’s interesting. Not the stage layout, because you might notice that it’s actually a completely featureless flat surface with a platform, effectively making it <em>more boring than Battlefield</em>. But, like Battlefield and some others, this stage’s appeal seems to lie in all the background fluff. A bunch of NPCs that come and go, a variety of events that can be going on, the appearance based on the internal clock like in the original game… That’s all pretty neat! And K.K. Slider! Hopefully, when he’s there, the BGM will always feature some yup-yupping. Hehehehe.
But. BUT! That’s arguably not the interesting part of this entry. No! Look at the icon. It’s a leaf! The Animal Crossing item symbol, and also the emblem of Tom Nook’s store! Could it mean what I think it means? Is the icon just there because there’s a stage? You’ll note that in Melee, there were no game-based stage without at least one character representing it. Hmmm.
Personally, my money’s on Mr. Resetti. IRATE MOLE! YEAH!
<img src="http://smashboards.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/phasedistorterfd1.png" alt="RuH-rOh..." /> <em>Yet another mystery still unsolved.</em>
<strong>DAY #39 RATING:</strong> 3 DKs out of 5
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_02.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_02.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_02.gif" />
<strong>WEEK #8 OVERALL RATING:</strong> 2 DKs out of 5!
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_02.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_02.gif" />
The grade this week was mostly dragged down by the zero-iconer at the beginning, along with the fact that it featured no real super-awesome update. But still, quite an eventful week! Most of the stuff we knew already is luckily out of the way, so now we finally get to see new material, even if a lot of it is just stuff returning from previous games. But you’ll agree with me that that’s an improvement, isn’t it?
<img src="http://smashboards.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/phasedistorterfd1.png" alt="WhEe!" /> <em>Quickly, we move on to the third block of this week’s time travel trip. But FIRST! Here’s the first bit of bonus content I wrote for JTT. Starting from then, I occasionally included bonus little things like these aside from the actual reviews. Now, take a look at… the official Japan Time Time theme song! You know, those hour-long shows like they take like eight minutes setting things up before the opening credits actually start? Well, it’s sort of the same there here, only we’re two-thirds of the way into the show!</em>
<a href="http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/music/music10.html"><strong>Get the music from here! (An entry into the FUTURE!)</strong></a>
<em>(TAAAAAAA NANANA!)
JAPAN TIME TIME!
Any news?
What’s up in SSB?
Can we still play as Sonic?</em>
<em>REFRESH IT NOW!
Any news?
It’s 3 AM!
(Mumblemumble) sleep…</em>
<em>Oh no, oh no, it’s a Knuckle Joe!
I didn’t wanna see Knuckle Joe!
That’s not big breaking news!
That’s it for today?</em>
<em>Hey, the people’s feeling UPPITY!
DISMAY!
I wanna have the game!
SNAAAAAAAAAAKE!</em>
<em>There’s nothing worth watching for daily…
Hey, all we want’s Ness
Not, say, a Gooey Bomb</em>
<em>Hey, there’s Andross!
Good job!
But wait, it’s just an assist TROPHY!</em>
For those familiar, yeah, I got some inspiration from <a href="http://robthehotdog.ytmnd.com/">Rob the Hot Dog</a> (checking it out is recommended if you are NOT familiar). It wasn’t always a huge help, however, as I found it very hard to resist trying to find a way to plug “great now all me evil plans we won’t last very long” into the song.
<img src="http://smashboards.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/phasedistorterfd1.png" alt="sLeEp..." /> <em>I only found that one out recently, but <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFjaoYZ7jlA">this</a> is another fun interpretation with nonsense lyrics!</em>
<strong>WEEK #9: July 16th to July 20th, 2007</strong>
<a href="http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/music/music05.html"><strong>Day 40: Entry 48: Star Fox: Space Armada</strong></a>
<em>I always chuckle when I hear it because it sounds like my colleague’s name, Mr. Amada.</em>
I’ve never been very fond of the song this is based on or the remix they used in Melee, having never really bothered much with the original Star Fox to begin with. This remix here isn’t half-bad, but eeeeeh. I don’t know about you, but I think it could stand being a little more epic. Still, as usual, I’m biased favorably towards music updates! Not much else to say on that one, I’m afraid.
Every week, I try to use an icon that was featured on that week but hasn’t been used yet. I know I’ll run out eventually, but I still haven’t used several of them. This week, however, I’ve already used all icons featured! So, instead, Enton has agreed to serve as a scale of awesomeness once more, just for this week.
<strong>DAY #40 RATING:</strong> 3 Entons out of 5
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" />
<a href="http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/items/mball/mball03.html"><strong>Day 41: Entry 49: Deoxys</strong></a>
<em>Now, this one is popular.</em>
More accurately, everyone outside Japan wants one because they’re freaking hard to get! Dear Nintendo: We wouldn’t care either if you bothered to put a Deoxys in every Cracker Jack bag here like you do in Japan!
(All right, I kid. Deoxys is actually pretty neat.)
Bonus points here for showing it in Attack Form. For those who don’t follow Pokemon, Deoxys is a secret Legendary Pokemon that changes “form”, each with its unique sprite and heavily-slanted statset, depending on which version you’re playing in (but you can switch it at will in the recent generation). It’s too bad that they didn’t exploit that aspect of it beyond that, but at least people who know about Pokemon get the proper “WOAH THE GET THE CRAP OUT OF HERE” impression when it’s about to fire its laser! (That’s right, I didn’t say anything about a “lazor”! Take that, slaves of the memery!… Aw, dammit.)
<strong>DAY #41 RATING:</strong> 3 Entons out of 5
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" />
<a href="http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/characters/samus.html#3rd"><strong>Day 42: Entry 50: Samus: Final Smash</strong></a>
<em>Now, fire! Whoa, that’s huge!</em>
I hope my body can take it…
(Yeah, I’m still going to do that every time!)
<img src="http://smashboards.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/phasedistorterfd1.png" alt="yUp YuP!" /> <em>You sure are!</em>
Oh yes, Final Smash! That’s not a very interesting one in itself (didn’t we see another Big Lazer yesterday?), but the consequences of it are! We saw Samus’ armor falling apart after using this very attack, but no one actually confirmed that this would be the way to use Zero Suit Samus in-game. But now we know! Yes!
One thing we DON’T know, though, is whether there’ll be another way to access the character. Tournament enthusiasts were reportedly very angry about this particular point, for their frequent habit of turning items off (evening the playing field and removing random factors as much as humanly possible is a staple of serious tournaments, you see), meaning no Smash Balls, would also mean no known way of playing Zero Suit in tournaments. Watching from the sidelines, arguments and angry posts about this were very entertaining!
<img src="http://smashboards.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/phasedistorterfd1.png" alt="yOu ShOuLd'Ve JuSt DeLeTeD tHaT pArAgRaPh, FoOl." /> <em>You might have taken part in one of those arguments yourself and I won’t judge you or anything, but I tell you, it sure is funny to see when you don’t actually care yourself! …I get the feeling I’m not gonna make any new friends by saying that, huh?</em>
Third three-iconer in a row this week! This scale is making me regret a bit that I’m not using a ten-point scale, or maybe just a four-point scale. The step from 3 to 4 is a sort of high one, 1 is lame entries, zero is very lame and useless entries, 2 is a nebulous point between 1 and 2, and 5 is reserved only for truly awesome or information-filled entries. But by this point, it’s a little late to change it! I suggest just not paying much attention to the score, either way. Heaven knows I rant enough as is to give you a better impression of my idea of ‘em than a single-digit number, anyway!
<strong>DAY #42 RATING:</strong> 3 Entons out of 5
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" />
<a href="http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/characters/zerosuit_samus.html">
<strong>Day 43: Entry 51: Zero Suit Samus</strong></a>
<em>Not exactly the straightforward fight you thought it was, huh?</em>
I’m not sure why she wasn’t “confirmed” on the same day as the Final Smash. They do, after all, logically go with each other. Bah!
Much like a certain Canadian judge, I’m not sure how I feel about the inclusion of Zero Suit Samus. It’s a little bit random, and while I appreciate the effort to expand Metroid’s game inclusion a bit, that was sort of unnecessary. But still! It’s not a bad thing! Smash needs a bit more female representation, after all. Wait, you say! Samus was already there and very much female! Of course, I know that, but… Raise your hand if you’ve never heard anyone play the game and refer to her as “the robot”. Come on. No one, huh? Well, of COURSE. This is a blog. I’m not gonna see it if you raise your hand! But my point is, this is okay because she’s sexy.
Wait, I think my point got sidetracked somewhere.
Either way, you know the rules! ONE POINT!
<strong>DAY #43 RATING:</strong> 1 Enton out of 5
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" />
<a href="http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/gamemode/modea/modea01.html"><strong>Day 44: Entry 52: This World…</strong></a>
<em>Those are the rules of this world.</em>
Oh.
OH!
OHOHOHOHO.
That was certainly an update unlike any other before. Ominous, mysterious, and a great way to end the week on a cliffhanger. Not that said cliffhanger would be resolved by Monday, but hey. The important part here was the entry’s main implication. There would be something resembling a STORY to Smash Brawl! That’s right! A story!
What did the “????” it was listed under in the Gameplay Modes section mean? Would this simply be the intro FMV to give us a new flimsy rationale for fights? What was Meta Knight’s beef with pacifists? Or did someone hijack his ship? That WAS his ship, right? Were they introducing a new villain because Master Hand was getting old and too inexplicable? Did Dr. Wright’s terrible powers go out of control and reach their horrible logical outcome? Who was that guy at the end? Certainly he would be very important! Wait! Oh no! Did they mutate Sandbag into an evil robot?! Say it ain’t so, Mr. Sakurai! Say it ain’t so!
Luckily, we would be getting the answer to most of those questions only two weeks after that.
Thank <em>God</em>. We’d have exploded otherwise.
<strong>DAY #44 RATING:</strong> 4 Entons out of 5
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" />
<strong>WEEK #9 OVERALL RATING:</strong> 3 Entons out of 5!
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" />
Another very 3-iconer week! But as I said before, three-icons aren’t necessarily very bad things. Only the Friday update, however, was particularly worth going crazy over. And going crazy we did do!
<img src="http://smashboards.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/phasedistorterfd1.png" alt="AlL fInAl ExAmS aNd No PlAy MaKeS sNoT mAn A dUlL bOy." /> <em>DON’T MIND IF I DO! ARGHLEBWABBLEBAR! …I think this is our cue to leave this particular time period for now, all right?</em>
And this ends this week’s educational detour back to the Middle Ages. I sure learned a lot from it! Did you? Did you know that people in the Middle Ages had almost no hygiene to speak of, and if historical reenactments bothered to be accurate at all, we wouldn’t want to watch them because we’d be too disgusted? I sure didn’t!
Tune in next week, as we meet our first old new challenger, discover the Subspace Emissary, and see the first signs of an ongoing storyline in Japan Time Time. Story in borderline psychotic blog entry reviews? Now that’s just crazy!
And since I’ve got a complete inability to learn from my mistakes, I’ll let you have another shot at driving the time machine. Remember, eighty-eight miles per hour, but don’t break any speed limits!
<p align="center"><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/item10_070917g.jpg" alt="It's not time for another stupid and long GaoGaiGar joke yet!" /></p>
<strong>That’s still not far enough in the past! This is Hammer Time, not Japan Time Time!</strong>
<img src="http://smashboards.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/phasedistorterfd1.png" alt="aLtErNaTiNg CaPs MaKe GoOd SaTuRn SpEeCh SuBsTiTuTe. BoInG!" /> <em>This is me speaking from the future via our Phase Distorter pal, as you know! I know this might sound crazy, but brace yourselves for the updates to come. You might have forgotten this, but the Smash Bros. Dojo could sometimes be very awesome. I heard that a man once read the following three updates without the proper mental preparation, and it <strong>killed him</strong>. Don’t be that man! Staple your socks on your feet and take a break if you think you can’t take it. Ready? Don’t say I didn’t warn you.</em>
<strong>WEEK #7: July 2nd to July 9th, 2007</strong>
<a href="http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/items/assist/assist01.html"><strong>Day 30: Entry 36: What are Assist Trophies?</strong></a>
<a href="http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/items/assist/assist02.html"><strong>Day 30: Entry 37: Samurai Goroh</strong></a>
<em>You may even see some that only the most dedicated fans will recognize, so you’ll have to look forward to them.</em>
Wait.
WAIT.
THIS IS IT.
YOU CAN COME OUT, GUYS!
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/gaijingoodfj6.png" alt="Gaijin 4koma and the people pictured are copyrighted to Anonymous. Please do not reproduce this image and the people in it without Anonymous' permission." />
<strong>OH YEEEEEEEAH!! </strong>Samurai Goroh is neat, but not neat enough to be playable, so it’s okay. I won’t add any more to this. Let’s just… savor the moment. I’ll speak more of assist trophies in the next entry concerning them, I think.
<strong>DAY #30 RATING: FIVE Triforces out of 5!</strong>
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" />
<a href="http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/characters/bowser.html"><strong>Day 31: Entry 38: Bowser</strong></a>
<em>If you think they’re all going to be the same as they have been, it’ll be rough for you.</em>
YES! It’s BOWSER! He’s BACK! And he looks freaking AWESOME! Don’t you think he looks cool? Yet he’s still the Bowser we know and love. They say he’ll have a different flavor this time around, which I take to mean “he won’t suck this time”. Life is GOOD!
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/gaijingoodfj6.png" alt="Maybe I should've had those guys rate manliness in my week 29 entry... Hmmmm..." />
<strong>TOTALLY APPROVED!</strong> Hoo hoo ha!… You guys’re still there…?!
<strong>DAY #31 RATING:</strong> 4 Triforces out of 5
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" />
<img src="http://smashboards.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/phasedistorterfd1.png" alt="yAhOo!" /> <em>If you’re wondering why I gave a 4 to a single entry about a character we’d be sure would come back, you’re already analyzing this too hard.</em>
<a href="http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/characters/bowser.html#3rd"><strong>Day 32: Entry 39: Bowser: Final Smash</strong></a>
<em>He’s huge! And tough!</em>
I HOPE MY BODY CAN TAKE IT!
Seriously, I know I’m overblowing it a bit, but weren’t those the <em><strong>best three days ever</strong></em>!? First you have this great new class of items that allows about a bajillion characters to appear and be awesome without being playable, then you’ve got the return of a cool character with a bitchin’ new look, and now… you have that character TURNING INTO HIS BOSS FORM FROM THE FIRST GAME! And he’s PLAYABLE! YES!
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/gaijingoodfj6.png" alt="Three friends and I once trained to perform that pose on cue while watching something awesome on TV. I daresay it makes things MORE awesome when you do that. Try it!" />
<strong>THIS IS THE BEST BLOG EVER! </strong><img src="http://smashboards.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/phasedistorterfd1.png" alt="BoRk BoRk BoRk..." /> <em>Are they talking about the Smash Bros. Dojo or the Super Smash Blog? It is a mystery.</em>
<strong>DAY #32 RATING: FIVE Triforces out of 5!</strong>
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" alt="THIS ALT TEXT IS A SECRET TO EVERYONE" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" />
<a href="http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/howto/basic/basic04.html"><strong>Day 33: Entry 40: Smash Attacks</strong></a>
<em>Now, if you simultaneously tilt the stick and press the button, you’ll do a smash attack.</em>
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/gaijinbadob3.png" alt="Cue your favorite 'Game Over' jingle. I suggest the classic 'Mario dies, Game Over', myself." />
<strong>…..</strong>No…
No…!
<strong>NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!</strong>
There is nothing to add. Just… scream with me here. It’ll do you good. There’s no sense holding the pain in. I don’t care if your neighbors think you’re crazy. Show them the previous three updates, then show them this one, and they’ll understand. They might even scream with you. And you’ll make a new friend!
Meanwhile… Look, you miserable little piece of dung calling itself a blog entry. You were one hair, <em>one hair</em> away from getting a zero. But you gave a tidbit new information we wanted to know about. Now we know how to smash with a Wiimote alone. This <em>tiny thing</em> is the only thing preventing me from putting you on a car loaded with lit dynamite.
<strong>DAY #33 RATING:</strong> 1 Triforce out of 5
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" />
<a href="http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/stages/stage05.html"><strong>Day 34: Entry 41: Bridge of Eldin</strong></a>
<em>Run! It’s King Bulblin and Lord Bullbo!</em>
Well, we’ve certainly been through a lot this week. But now we’re back to the normal world, the world of updates that won’t always either blow your freaking socks off or make you uncontrollably violent.
We’re now standing on the Bridge of Eldin, a sort of neat but, as far as I’ve seen in my short playtime so far, pretty much unremarkable landmark in Twilight Princess. You fight that guy (called… King Bulblin? Huh.) there once, and I think the bridge gets destroyed, but I doubt anything particularly important happens there after that. It’s a weird choice, isn’t it? I dig the panorama behind and how a new bridge is twilight-ported back in once it’s destroyed, but you’d have thought they’d pick a more Wikipedia-notable place to represent the game that everyone was freaking over about for two or three years or so.
Still, neato!
<strong>DAY #34 RATING:</strong> 3 Triforces out of 5
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" />
<strong>WEEK #7 OVERALL RATING:</strong> 4 Triforces out of 5 + Four Excited Guys!
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_09.gif" />
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/gaijingoodfj6.png" alt="If I understand correctly, those guys are actually watching the first Twilight Princess trailer or something. How appropriate! Sort of." />
<strong>We’re back and we wanna say we still think this week was awesome!</strong> Hahaha, you wacky guys. Well, it’s been a crazy week, wasn’t it? And even then, it’s still just a four-iconer. Will we ever see a five-icon week? I have no idea. I can say it hasn’t happened yet, at least. Will we see those four guys again? You can bet your boots!
<img src="http://smashboards.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/phasedistorterfd1.png" alt="GrEaT sCoTt! ZoOm." /> <em>Once again, I make a prediction that will later become true, although you probably didn’t know that yet. Well, now you do. I will totally be abusing the Gaijin 4koma from now on. I think I’m also approaching the point where I suddenly lay off the inexplicable 4chan references, too.</em>
On to the next week! Let’s do the time warp and all that jazz.
<strong>WEEK #8: July 9th to July 13th, 2007</strong>
<a href="http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/howto/technique/technique02.html">
<strong>Day 35: Entry 42: Standard Combos</strong></a>
<em>Hee ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya!</em>
…
What the…
NO!
You know what? Here’s the entry I’d rather see instead.
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonjttdq8.png" />Snot Man’s Psyduck, straight from the German version of Pokemon, has entered the fray! What a cool guy!
With his Zen Headbutt, he’ll show our Brawlers what a thick skull REALLY is. It’s said that his theme song plays whenever he enters a stage….
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/finaldestination1en7.png" /> <img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/finaldestination2sp4.png" />
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/finaldestination3ic1.png" /> <img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/finaldestination4er4.png" />
<strong>DAY #35 RATING:</strong> FIVE Entons out of 5!!
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" />
…Look, just be glad it wasn’t a palette swapped Sonic sprite named “BlazeStryke” or something.
<img src="http://smashboards.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/phasedistorterfd1.png" alt="EnToN?!" /> <em>In case you were wondering, nope, I wasn’t aware of the <a href="http://mojo.rick-gardiner.com/en_us/index.html">Smash Bros. Mojo</a>’s existence at the time. I planned to do a few more of those “Here’s an entry I’d like to see instead” jokes after that, but then I read the Mojo and what I saw was funnier than what I probably would’ve done.</em>
<em>Now, okay. Enton might need some explanation. Usually I cut out those in-jokes or replace them with something else before posting them here, but Enton’s going to become important later. You see, I had gotten Pokemon Diamond recently at the time. I always liked Psyduck, and after watching the totally surreal <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zehSA0wX0f4">German Pokerap</a>, I decided to call it “Enton” from then on. I caught myself a Psyduck I EV trained and called Enton, and made a running gag out of it in various ways. The goggles and theme song I accessorized it with I’m not going to explain, but whoever gets the reference gets eight hundred cool points. Sadly, most people at the time weren’t actually aware of my personal Enton craze, so all the comments I got for that entry referred to it as just “Psyduck”. That, too, is going to be important later.</em>
Sigh. Guess I have to rate the real entry, don’t I?
<strong>DAY #35 RATING:</strong> ZERO DKs out of 5
<img src="http://smashboards.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/phasedistorterfd1.png" alt="i LiKe JaAaAaAm!" /> <em>Oh, right, we’re still in the past reading old reviews. I got carried away for a second.</em>
<a href="http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/items/assist/assist03.html"><strong>Day 36: Entry 43: Dr. Wright</strong></a>
<em>“Starting today, you’re the mayor!”</em>
Well, now THAT came out of the left field! Or so would I say if that guy wasn’t already in Melee in trophy form. Still, that IS rather amusing. Apparently, old Wright here has apparently gotten an upgrade giving him powers similar to the SimCity Mayor’s, only even stronger, allowing him to create buildings in mere seconds instead of in-game days or weeks! That’s rather terrifying, when you think about it.
But what’s up with what he’s saying here? Is he giving the title of Mayor to the Pokemon and strange people beating the crap out of each other? Is he being chased by angry citizens because his powers, fearsome as they were, weren’t enough to satisfy the masses after the original SimCity Mayor’s painful demise at the hands of an invading Giga Bowser? Maybe he really IS that desperate to pass the title on to someone. Anyone could do! His life is at stake here! But ironically, his powers, which he didn’t even want to begin with, go out of control, granting a new gruesome fate to the new Mayors. Clearly, his power is far more of a curse than a blessing. When will his pain stop?!
And hey, what happens to the buildings after that? Do they stay there, getting in the way? Do they poof out of existence? Do they immediately crumble? Maybe that’s the weakness to Wright’s nearly godlike power. He can manifest matter out of thin air, but whatever he creates is extremely fragile! Good god, Dr. Wright is like a green butt-shaped-haired Charlie Brown.
<strong>DAY #36 RATING:</strong> 4 DKs out of 5
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_02.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_02.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_02.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_02.gif" />
<a href="http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/items/item05.html"><strong>Day 37: Entry 44: Bumper</strong></a>
<em>Back again after a whole nine years… Well, I’ll be.</em>
Well, I wasn’t really among the people who thought the Flippers used in Melee for virtually the same thing sucked, but I’m still glad to see those for some reason. Maybe it’s because you know where you stand with bumpers. You DON’T approach them if you don’t wanna fly off. Meanwhile, with flippers… Eeeeeh, I dunno. Depends on how fast they spin. Wanna try touching ‘em? Oh, look, you flew off. Go on, try touching ‘em agai–
You know, that Witchblade anime DVD ad that’s been popping up everywhere lately? It’s on my update page right now and it’s really, really distracting. I’m just saying, please appreciate the great effort I’m making to bring you this update on time.
<img src="http://smashboards.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/phasedistorterfd1.png" alt="bOoBiEs?!" /> <em>Those ads aren’t around anymore as far as I know, but chances are you saw them when they were. They really were EVERYWHERE. Also, I type these things in WordPad now so this isn’t a problem anymore. Yay!</em>
<strong>DAY #37 RATING:</strong> 2 DKs out of 5
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_02.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_02.gif" />
<a href="http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/info/info01.html"><strong>Day 38: Entry 45: 15 Second Movie Presentation</strong></a>
<a href="http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/characters/donkeykong.html"><strong>Day 38: Entry 46: Donkey Kong</strong></a>
<em>December 3rd, 2007</em>
<img src="http://smashboards.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/phasedistorterfd1.png" alt="CaAaAaKe!" /> <em>THE DATE IS A LIE. THE DATE IS A LIE. THE DATE IS A LIE.</em>
<em>…*sob*</em>
Oh, right! It was E3 at the time, wasn’t it? On the day of the Bumper, Nintendo was doing its press conference. For those who didn’t follow it, it was basically 45 minutes of Nintendo congratulating itself, talking about a few games and peripherals we knew about already, going on at length about how they were making video games accessible to your grandma, going totally bonkers when they announced that the Wii would have a fitness game (and another peripheral!), and generally not saying anything a non-investor, non-casual gamer might give two flips about. EXCEPT! That they finally gave us a release date for the game! Sadly, I expected a new trailer to match the awesome one from a year ago and compensate for the lackluster “SPOILER: FOX IS IN!!” one. But nope, what we got was… no trailer! Unless you count fifteen seconds of gameplay as a trailer. (The site doesn’t, thank god! That would set a new low.)
BUT! If you looked carefully at those few seconds, you could catch a glimpse of Donkey Kong in action. They had NOT made a big deal out of it, and the observant got the little treat of knowing that tidbit one day before everyone else! Of course, no one DOUBTED that DK would be in the game, but hey. That was still sort of nice.
The score was created by using a complicated mathematical algorithm involving the cool factor of a release date, the suck factor of SSBB’s E3 presence, the eeeeh factor of DK himself, the alright factor of his semi-revamped look, and the nice factor of the little movie’s sort-of-easter egg!
<strong>DAY #38 RATING:</strong> 3 DKs out of 5
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_02.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_02.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_02.gif" />
<a href="http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/stages/stage06.html"><strong>Day 39: Entry 47: Smashville</strong></a>
<em>And the name…well… Go ahead and poke fun if you must.</em>
Well, now THAT’s interesting. Not the stage layout, because you might notice that it’s actually a completely featureless flat surface with a platform, effectively making it <em>more boring than Battlefield</em>. But, like Battlefield and some others, this stage’s appeal seems to lie in all the background fluff. A bunch of NPCs that come and go, a variety of events that can be going on, the appearance based on the internal clock like in the original game… That’s all pretty neat! And K.K. Slider! Hopefully, when he’s there, the BGM will always feature some yup-yupping. Hehehehe.
But. BUT! That’s arguably not the interesting part of this entry. No! Look at the icon. It’s a leaf! The Animal Crossing item symbol, and also the emblem of Tom Nook’s store! Could it mean what I think it means? Is the icon just there because there’s a stage? You’ll note that in Melee, there were no game-based stage without at least one character representing it. Hmmm.
Personally, my money’s on Mr. Resetti. IRATE MOLE! YEAH!
<img src="http://smashboards.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/phasedistorterfd1.png" alt="RuH-rOh..." /> <em>Yet another mystery still unsolved.</em>
<strong>DAY #39 RATING:</strong> 3 DKs out of 5
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_02.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_02.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_02.gif" />
<strong>WEEK #8 OVERALL RATING:</strong> 2 DKs out of 5!
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_02.gif" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/world_w_02.gif" />
The grade this week was mostly dragged down by the zero-iconer at the beginning, along with the fact that it featured no real super-awesome update. But still, quite an eventful week! Most of the stuff we knew already is luckily out of the way, so now we finally get to see new material, even if a lot of it is just stuff returning from previous games. But you’ll agree with me that that’s an improvement, isn’t it?
<img src="http://smashboards.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/phasedistorterfd1.png" alt="WhEe!" /> <em>Quickly, we move on to the third block of this week’s time travel trip. But FIRST! Here’s the first bit of bonus content I wrote for JTT. Starting from then, I occasionally included bonus little things like these aside from the actual reviews. Now, take a look at… the official Japan Time Time theme song! You know, those hour-long shows like they take like eight minutes setting things up before the opening credits actually start? Well, it’s sort of the same there here, only we’re two-thirds of the way into the show!</em>
<a href="http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/music/music10.html"><strong>Get the music from here! (An entry into the FUTURE!)</strong></a>
<em>(TAAAAAAA NANANA!)
JAPAN TIME TIME!
Any news?
What’s up in SSB?
Can we still play as Sonic?</em>
<em>REFRESH IT NOW!
Any news?
It’s 3 AM!
(Mumblemumble) sleep…</em>
<em>Oh no, oh no, it’s a Knuckle Joe!
I didn’t wanna see Knuckle Joe!
That’s not big breaking news!
That’s it for today?</em>
<em>Hey, the people’s feeling UPPITY!
DISMAY!
I wanna have the game!
SNAAAAAAAAAAKE!</em>
<em>There’s nothing worth watching for daily…
Hey, all we want’s Ness
Not, say, a Gooey Bomb</em>
<em>Hey, there’s Andross!
Good job!
But wait, it’s just an assist TROPHY!</em>
For those familiar, yeah, I got some inspiration from <a href="http://robthehotdog.ytmnd.com/">Rob the Hot Dog</a> (checking it out is recommended if you are NOT familiar). It wasn’t always a huge help, however, as I found it very hard to resist trying to find a way to plug “great now all me evil plans we won’t last very long” into the song.
<img src="http://smashboards.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/phasedistorterfd1.png" alt="sLeEp..." /> <em>I only found that one out recently, but <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFjaoYZ7jlA">this</a> is another fun interpretation with nonsense lyrics!</em>
<strong>WEEK #9: July 16th to July 20th, 2007</strong>
<a href="http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/music/music05.html"><strong>Day 40: Entry 48: Star Fox: Space Armada</strong></a>
<em>I always chuckle when I hear it because it sounds like my colleague’s name, Mr. Amada.</em>
I’ve never been very fond of the song this is based on or the remix they used in Melee, having never really bothered much with the original Star Fox to begin with. This remix here isn’t half-bad, but eeeeeh. I don’t know about you, but I think it could stand being a little more epic. Still, as usual, I’m biased favorably towards music updates! Not much else to say on that one, I’m afraid.
Every week, I try to use an icon that was featured on that week but hasn’t been used yet. I know I’ll run out eventually, but I still haven’t used several of them. This week, however, I’ve already used all icons featured! So, instead, Enton has agreed to serve as a scale of awesomeness once more, just for this week.
<strong>DAY #40 RATING:</strong> 3 Entons out of 5
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" />
<a href="http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/items/mball/mball03.html"><strong>Day 41: Entry 49: Deoxys</strong></a>
<em>Now, this one is popular.</em>
More accurately, everyone outside Japan wants one because they’re freaking hard to get! Dear Nintendo: We wouldn’t care either if you bothered to put a Deoxys in every Cracker Jack bag here like you do in Japan!
(All right, I kid. Deoxys is actually pretty neat.)
Bonus points here for showing it in Attack Form. For those who don’t follow Pokemon, Deoxys is a secret Legendary Pokemon that changes “form”, each with its unique sprite and heavily-slanted statset, depending on which version you’re playing in (but you can switch it at will in the recent generation). It’s too bad that they didn’t exploit that aspect of it beyond that, but at least people who know about Pokemon get the proper “WOAH THE GET THE CRAP OUT OF HERE” impression when it’s about to fire its laser! (That’s right, I didn’t say anything about a “lazor”! Take that, slaves of the memery!… Aw, dammit.)
<strong>DAY #41 RATING:</strong> 3 Entons out of 5
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" />
<a href="http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/characters/samus.html#3rd"><strong>Day 42: Entry 50: Samus: Final Smash</strong></a>
<em>Now, fire! Whoa, that’s huge!</em>
I hope my body can take it…
(Yeah, I’m still going to do that every time!)
<img src="http://smashboards.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/phasedistorterfd1.png" alt="yUp YuP!" /> <em>You sure are!</em>
Oh yes, Final Smash! That’s not a very interesting one in itself (didn’t we see another Big Lazer yesterday?), but the consequences of it are! We saw Samus’ armor falling apart after using this very attack, but no one actually confirmed that this would be the way to use Zero Suit Samus in-game. But now we know! Yes!
One thing we DON’T know, though, is whether there’ll be another way to access the character. Tournament enthusiasts were reportedly very angry about this particular point, for their frequent habit of turning items off (evening the playing field and removing random factors as much as humanly possible is a staple of serious tournaments, you see), meaning no Smash Balls, would also mean no known way of playing Zero Suit in tournaments. Watching from the sidelines, arguments and angry posts about this were very entertaining!
<img src="http://smashboards.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/phasedistorterfd1.png" alt="yOu ShOuLd'Ve JuSt DeLeTeD tHaT pArAgRaPh, FoOl." /> <em>You might have taken part in one of those arguments yourself and I won’t judge you or anything, but I tell you, it sure is funny to see when you don’t actually care yourself! …I get the feeling I’m not gonna make any new friends by saying that, huh?</em>
Third three-iconer in a row this week! This scale is making me regret a bit that I’m not using a ten-point scale, or maybe just a four-point scale. The step from 3 to 4 is a sort of high one, 1 is lame entries, zero is very lame and useless entries, 2 is a nebulous point between 1 and 2, and 5 is reserved only for truly awesome or information-filled entries. But by this point, it’s a little late to change it! I suggest just not paying much attention to the score, either way. Heaven knows I rant enough as is to give you a better impression of my idea of ‘em than a single-digit number, anyway!
<strong>DAY #42 RATING:</strong> 3 Entons out of 5
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" />
<a href="http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/characters/zerosuit_samus.html">
<strong>Day 43: Entry 51: Zero Suit Samus</strong></a>
<em>Not exactly the straightforward fight you thought it was, huh?</em>
I’m not sure why she wasn’t “confirmed” on the same day as the Final Smash. They do, after all, logically go with each other. Bah!
Much like a certain Canadian judge, I’m not sure how I feel about the inclusion of Zero Suit Samus. It’s a little bit random, and while I appreciate the effort to expand Metroid’s game inclusion a bit, that was sort of unnecessary. But still! It’s not a bad thing! Smash needs a bit more female representation, after all. Wait, you say! Samus was already there and very much female! Of course, I know that, but… Raise your hand if you’ve never heard anyone play the game and refer to her as “the robot”. Come on. No one, huh? Well, of COURSE. This is a blog. I’m not gonna see it if you raise your hand! But my point is, this is okay because she’s sexy.
Wait, I think my point got sidetracked somewhere.
Either way, you know the rules! ONE POINT!
<strong>DAY #43 RATING:</strong> 1 Enton out of 5
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" />
<a href="http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/gamemode/modea/modea01.html"><strong>Day 44: Entry 52: This World…</strong></a>
<em>Those are the rules of this world.</em>
Oh.
OH!
OHOHOHOHO.
That was certainly an update unlike any other before. Ominous, mysterious, and a great way to end the week on a cliffhanger. Not that said cliffhanger would be resolved by Monday, but hey. The important part here was the entry’s main implication. There would be something resembling a STORY to Smash Brawl! That’s right! A story!
What did the “????” it was listed under in the Gameplay Modes section mean? Would this simply be the intro FMV to give us a new flimsy rationale for fights? What was Meta Knight’s beef with pacifists? Or did someone hijack his ship? That WAS his ship, right? Were they introducing a new villain because Master Hand was getting old and too inexplicable? Did Dr. Wright’s terrible powers go out of control and reach their horrible logical outcome? Who was that guy at the end? Certainly he would be very important! Wait! Oh no! Did they mutate Sandbag into an evil robot?! Say it ain’t so, Mr. Sakurai! Say it ain’t so!
Luckily, we would be getting the answer to most of those questions only two weeks after that.
Thank <em>God</em>. We’d have exploded otherwise.
<strong>DAY #44 RATING:</strong> 4 Entons out of 5
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" />
<strong>WEEK #9 OVERALL RATING:</strong> 3 Entons out of 5!
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" /><img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/entonsjv7.png" />
Another very 3-iconer week! But as I said before, three-icons aren’t necessarily very bad things. Only the Friday update, however, was particularly worth going crazy over. And going crazy we did do!
<img src="http://smashboards.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/phasedistorterfd1.png" alt="AlL fInAl ExAmS aNd No PlAy MaKeS sNoT mAn A dUlL bOy." /> <em>DON’T MIND IF I DO! ARGHLEBWABBLEBAR! …I think this is our cue to leave this particular time period for now, all right?</em>
And this ends this week’s educational detour back to the Middle Ages. I sure learned a lot from it! Did you? Did you know that people in the Middle Ages had almost no hygiene to speak of, and if historical reenactments bothered to be accurate at all, we wouldn’t want to watch them because we’d be too disgusted? I sure didn’t!
Tune in next week, as we meet our first old new challenger, discover the Subspace Emissary, and see the first signs of an ongoing storyline in Japan Time Time. Story in borderline psychotic blog entry reviews? Now that’s just crazy!
