It's-a me! The Mario for SSBS Support Thread!

[BigShad]

Not many people know about this red-capped, Italian jumper, but let’s face it, Mario is THE character who should be in Smash Switch before anyone else. Shantae? Shovel Knight? Kunio? Green Mario? King K. Rool? Sans Undertale? That other character you and everyone else wants in?! Nah fam, none of those pale in comparison. Except for Ridley, but he's practically confirmed by this point.

But who, exactly, is Mario? Why, who else could he be but…

The one and only plumber from Brooklyn!

“But wait, you dumb ass! Mario’s always been in Smash ever since Smash 64! And the Smash Switch promo even shows his silhouette!”

AHA! Another tool for the Sakurailluminati, I see! Well, allow me to dissect that “footage” and show you why you’re wrong! THIS IS WHAT MASSIVE HERO (OR SHOULD I SAY VILLAIN) SAMURAI DOESN’T WANT YOU TO KNOW!

As you know, the footage shows about a good second’s worth of a shadowy figure with a cap and a smiley moustache face. Many have speculated this shadow to be the plumber/doctor/referee/…

/Nintendo Mascot (take good note!) in the flesh, but open your eyes people! Can’t you see! The silhouette clearly belongs to…

GRAND DAD!

That’s right, and that’s why that Ika Musume from Nickelodeon was looking at the Smash logo with horror on the Nintendo Direct reveal! She knows! Much like Sakurai’s been playing indie games, he’s also been playing bootlegs and looking at dead 9gag tier Vinesauce memes! See now?! He plans on replacing Mario with the very representative for Chinese bootlegs himself! This is an atrocity, and must be stopped! Support Mario for Smash Switch, or else the series will meet its grand finale!

“Support me, or you’ll realize it’s April Fool’s Day before you die. Please.”

Spoiler: Support List

ur mom lol

 

[Tomatoboxer]

Eh, not sold.
How would you make a moveset out of someone who just jumps?
Plus I don't know how familiar Japan would be with a character from Brooklyn

 

[NintendoKnight]

Eh, not sold.
How would you make a moveset out of someone who just jumps?
Plus I don't know how familiar Japan would be with a character from Brooklyn

To his credit, he only jumps and collects coins. That's, like, the whole point of the game.

 

[Deleted member]

But does Bruno Mario is BIG?

 

[Runic_SSB]

The bad guy from Donkey Kong Jr? We're really scraping the bottom of the barrel now...

 

[FlareHabanero]

Why would they include a bootleg knockoff of Giana?

 

[YoshiandToad]

I'm sorry but why would they put the Referee from Punch Out in before the villains or Doc?

 

[Ghirahilda]

Hmmm well this is pretty oscure and very unlikely. But still how we got Duck Hunt and Mr. Game & Watch plus R.O.B. So he have a chance (a very small one). Needs a lot of work on his moveset

 

[Llort A. Ton]

You Mario fans are just as bad as the Goku fans. Mario first appeared in the 1993 movie "Super Mario Bros", and got video game adaptations afterwards. He started as a MOVIE character, and can't be in the game! His movie wasn't even that good!!! Even if Sakurai wanted him, they'd have to get the rights to use Bob Hoskin's likeness, who is no longer with us. They'd have to re use clips from the movie to voice him! Not in a million years will Mario be in this game.

 

[Deleted member]

Mario, you mean the mascot of Nintendo? the same company the failed the survive the console market after the failure of the Gamecube and decided to stick with Software instead?

Don't be stupid, why don't need that character in Sega All Stars Rumble, it's already bad enough we have Simon Belmont from Konami, he has no history with Sega!

 

[StormC]

Nobody but mouthbreathers on the internet have ever heard of Mario.

 

[Sean Wheeler]

April Fools thread?