If Every SSB Character had a Facebook Account

[Deleted member]

- (Insert full DK Rap here)

 

[Lil Puddin]

: Gotta go fast!
: Correction, it's "I have got to go fast" or "I want to go fast" if you must. Gotta is not a word, you plebeian.
: Hedgehogs aren't smart so give him a break.
: He is also blue and has conjoined eyes. What is even up with that?
: What's wrong with blue?
: Blue is a lame color! Maybe that's why you suck now, Marth.
: I'm surprised you get cellphone service at your super far away campsite, Link.
: I'm not camping???
: You coulda fooled me, Link! You gotta stop letting jokes go over your head, stupid!
: I don't even know why I try to spread my wisdom and knowledge.

 

[Matoi Knight]

: If I had a dollar for every time someone called me flat, I'd be living in a private island by now.
: lmao, you're flat
: And now I'm a dollar richer. Neat.
: lol you're still flat

 

[Lil Puddin]

: I'm so sick of Zelda! All she does is throw shade. Enough to cover all of Delfino with. Grow up you *****!
: I'm sorry, what? No I'm not being catty. You're literally beneath me because I'm taller than you, so I didn't hear you.
: My dark magic does not compare.
: The only magic your magic can go up against is a street magician's tricks.
: lol arcfire buuuuurn! #2magical4u
: I wonder, does that phrase you constantly use also have finite usage? If so, you'll run out of times that you can use it very soon. Much like the actual Arcfire spell.
: I've seen some evil things in my life but Zelda is truly an evil witch-*****!
: No dear, that's your mother. Shouldn't you be in bed, kiddo?
: Marry me. Pls. I can't live without you by my side any longer.
: So you'll die if I say no? Good.
: Ganondorf I'm so sorry. Now I see why you kidnap her so much.
: Holy ****! What a woman!
: Zeldon't, your shade must bring all the undesirable men to your yard.
: Only because your obnoxious light scares them away and they wonder over to me while they're totally disoriented.
: Shots fired. 5 are dead and the death toll is expected to rise at this rate.


----------------

: Finally slayed me a goddess! Heck yeah, the world will be a better place now!
: Goddess killing is great? Ok then.
: I didn't mean it like that! She was evil!
: Relax Ike, she won't stay mad at your muscles for too long.
: I mean your sweet bod.
: I mean your sweet self. Uuuug autocorrect. Amitite?
: It's ok Samus, there's no water in space. You just need a drink of water is all. You know, because you're so thirsty.
: I'm going to start kidnapping Zelda myself and make her my Shadow Queen.
: Wasn't Peach technically *THE* actual Shadow Queen a while back?
: Even the real Shadow Queen would be afraid of Zelda's shadowy shade.

 

[Diddy Kong]

All of your interpretentions of remind me hugely of this meme:

And now is a sarcastic, cold hearted ***** again in my head canon. Awesome.

 

[TheDarkKnightNoivern]

All of your interpretentions of remind me hugely of this meme:

And now is a sarcastic, cold hearted ***** again in my head canon. Awesome.

And that is why Twilight Princess Zelda is best Zelda

Also

 

[Izanagi97]

This really needs to stay up top. This **** is funny

 

[ProjectilePuff]

14th July 2014
Who is this ***** of a replacement?
Definitely somebody more attractive than your bland display.
Shut up, you wussy tactician! Back in my day, i had to write the strategies without books.
Write strategies for a terrible army, including yourself. Look at you, you have the worst stats out of any FE lord!
Atleast i don't throw away my blade in-battle.
In Smash, but in your homeland, you could only use it for a measly amount of time. :3
Well, atleast we had Mewtwo
Oh gosh, you have an outdated experiment that has emotion problems, how terrifying.
Wait?
Hes got a point.
Brillant, we've got a furry in this.
You've got a problem with that, low tier?
Jesus, it hasn't even been a day since i was announced and now everyone is prancing around about me...
Go back to your dating sim!
Looks like little Roy is butthurt he didn't get a descendant in the most recent FE entry. How's it goin'? @Priam_The_Ike
Well he did have a phantom.
Phantoms are jack sqaut, they can't be used in streetpass teams and they usually make the game too easy.
Wait, if we're actually dead in the most recent entry of Fire Emblem... wouldn't that mean our Smash incarnations are actually phantoms?!
Shut up.

September 13th 2014
... He had to name on his children... that damnable... Koopa...
Do you need extra salt with that?

October 27th 2014
Sorry, Roy ol' boy, but it seems Sakurai loves me more than you
OISDAGIKAS;GJASLKJGASGDFGHASDGKHFKASDGKJHAKLGLKHKHDFGJHDHF;LKG;DFGL;HLFJDGA

 

[Lil Puddin]

: ROB said making a computer was easy! I can't do it! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
: I can easily build a computer if I have the appropriate parts. And computers don't even exist in my dimension. Are you still wearing boxing gloves?
: Yeah what's that gotta do with it? I really need to get a new computer tho. Help!
: Did you punch it while playing as a Striker in Dungeon Fighter Online because you thought the Striker was punching at you?
: Yeah but she was punching right at me on the other side of the glass. I had to defend myself!
: Wow.
: So the Striker was punching right through the computer screen, huh? Wow indeed.
: I think you'll be more interested in books, Mac. They're more your speed and require no setup.
: Yeah! Kiddie books! lol
: Yes, good idea. You can lend him your many kiddie books, Pit.
: I'll read the books to you, Mac! x3
: Villager can talk?
: Oh. Girl.

----------------------------


: When problems come my way, do you know what I say? Long hair, don't care. *sassy flip*
: Yeeee
: I like it because it kind of rhymes. <3
: **** ur nasty weeve gross u shuld care bcuz ur greezy hair is all up on ur butt ew gross gross gross
: It's OK. We know you're jealous. It's not your fault you were born with severe alopecia.
: But you're still really annoying, unintelligent, and also ugly as sin.
: lmao look @ dis ***** like u no evrything lol get a lyf ideyut
: She is the Kim Kardashian of the koopa kids. Bowser should be put in jail for creating that thing.
: She's not mine. I swear.

 

[ProjectilePuff]

PK...
Fire
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-
ARCFIRE
BOLOGANOE
FIYURRRRRRRRR
FIYAAAAAAAAAH
Flamethrower
Ditto
Red Pikmin
Fireball
Fireball
Custom Side Special
Custom Neutral
Custom Side Special
Side Special
Neutral special
GREAT!
AETHER!!!!!!!!
Fair
Everything
Fire arrows
Side Special
Uair
Custom side special
Every flammable projectile
The sun
Custom down special
Neutral special...-ish
ROCKET JUMP
Explosives
Custom Fire Hydrant
Taunt...
Taunt
Side Special
Neutral Special
F.L.U.D.D... wait...

 

[Claire Diviner]

: I really wish I had a girl to call my own.
: Do not fret too much, Bowser. It'll happen one day.
: How about going to a dating-a site and stop-a trying to steal-a my girlfriend!
: You are not helping, plumber!
: Let's face it, I'll never find a girl who will love me for me.
: How do you explain your son? Surely you had someone you loved then.
: Yeah, that was a one-night stand, and she died giving birth to him. Something about his shell having ripped her in half. He doesn't have any of his mother's human features.
: A human? You see? One day, you'll find love. I'm single myself, though that's by choice. Someday, I shall have a queen.
: Maybe it's because I'm fat.
: Unlikely. Look at Donkey Kong. He's huge, and he has Candy Kong, who quite frankly is way out of his league.
: Don't-a worry Bowser! I'm-a fat too, and I have a girlfriend.
: Wario? You have a girlfriend?!
: Yes, and she's-a very pretty too. Her name is-a Mona, and we're-a crazy about one another!
: Umm, isn't she 15 years old and a high schooler???
: [TheRealWarioMan1992 left the chat]
: ...

 

[Lil Puddin]

: Zelda uploaded 3 new pictures to her Beach Time album.

Spoiler

Spoiler

Spoiler

: It was really fun!
: They look really fun. IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN
: I know what you mean, Palutena! They were the talk of the tea party last night. Ganondorf is actually really funny and Ike is so nice. They're invited next time for sure!
: That's not what I meant. But that's fine too.
: I was also there.
: omg Zelda your arms are wow!
: So the reason she wears that super conservative dress is to cover this up. What a crime. Have ALL my likes.
: Who cares about Zelda, look at the other two guys tho. Workout more, Robin.
: Shut up Robin.
: They must workout a lot. Great form, guys!
: Am I related to Ike? I can't tell. But if not, is Ike single?
: If he is, he won't be single for long heehee~
: I think we're all related. I mean... Our hair and eyes and all... So yeah? **** if I know anymore.
: These pictures confuse me sexually. And I'm a robot. So that makes it even weirder.
: ERROR. SAME PROBLEM. ERROR.
: wtf Zelda!!! Are you dating these two guys!!! Why wasn't I even invited??? OMG!!!!!!
: All those exclamation marks. Ouch. Also, only women and men with muscles allowed. Sorry Link.
: You'll hit puberty one day, Link.
: It's OK Link, you still got some cool armor and that sword is pretty cool too.
: Besides, they were dating each other. I was kind of the third wheel. As if that's a bad thing in this case.
: I'm really feeling it!
: Oh...
: Was there a least a lot of butt touching? I need to know these things.

 

[Marrow]

: Hey guys check out my Mario 64 Medley [link to it]
: When are you gonna get a job
: Dad for the last time this is my job, I do what i love for a living.
:And i'm good at it, unlike someone.
:No, a real job, like your old m--HEY!!!
: lol
: lol
: lol
: xD
: top lel
: lol
: anyway here's wonderwall
: GOD DAMN IT IGGY
: you are all incredibly grounded