demonictoonlink
Smash Master
Link to original post: [drupal=3709]I Wouldn't Mind Some Actual Help With This[/drupal]
So I've been having some really intrusive thoughts about pain lately that I 100% can't get out of my head, mostly because I feel they're real and not something that really should be gotten over.
I've never been a fan of physical pain, obviously, but since like...two months ago I haven't been able to stop thinking about how awful it really could be. Everybody falls and hurts themselves and ****, but I'm talking about actual like...getting stabbed in the face pain. Have you ever been cut by a knife or something really sharp? Two years ago I was playing with a new knife I bought slicing paper. I missed and sliced off the edge of my left thumb. I didn't see it coming, I didn't see it happen (I was watching Family guy). I barely felt it happen. But after the fact, it was insanely painful for about two months. The wound kept reopening and bleeding and it's still ridiculously sensitive.
The reason this didn't hurt much at first was because it was fast with a new sharp blade and I wasn't aware it was going to happen. You know how when you get a needle in your arm, it doesn't really hurt if you don't look but it does if you do and tense up? Just apply that to something much more fatal.
Now it's obvious that the average person doesn't die by somebody running up to them and chainsawing through their neck, but try to imagine how it feels for the people that does happen to.
There's tons of rare ways of death that we know must have been ridiculously painful but we just write it off because we don't think it will happen to us.
I can't stop thinking about how certain scenarios would feel. Like being killed by a Lion. Or having somebody come up to you with a knife when you're cornered somewhere. You anticipate the pain and know that you're going to be stabbed. If they stab you in the neck or heart, it will be unimaginably painful, but you'll die in a few seconds most likely.
But if it isn't quick, the pain...I dunno. I can't get the thought of **** like that out of my head. I can't watch scary movies anymore, because I just picture how it must feel to be the people getting murdered. Too be honest the first time I really thought about all this was when I was high. Don't lock this blog due to mentioning this, because if anything, it's anti-marijuana. Now EVERY TIME I smoke my mind goes to this. I'll be having a great time hanging with friends around campus, then somebody will mention something and I'll just freak out inside my head.
How does everybody cope with this? Again, it probably won't happen to me or anybody reading this, but the thought of being brutally murdered alone makes me not want to leave my house. And I'm not even a generally scarred person. I've always been outgoing with physical activity and other potentially harmful stuff. I started with gymnastics then moved to karate which I eventually got my black belt in. I've never been scared of knives. My Grandpa and Dad are huge knife and gun collectors so I started a knife collection like ten years ago. I used to love these things.
Now I can't even play a videogame with violence and gore anymore. I just can't stop picturing myself in that situation. I think a lot of us can't picture how painful something like that really would be. Nobody's ever going to rip off your fingernails, but how can you watch that happen in a movie and not obsess over how it really would feel?
I really want to be able to stop thinking like this and if anybody has any suggestion or knows how they don't sweat it, it would be much appreciated. Again, I've never been a fearful person, but the kinds of things that occur in horror movies and **** just burrow into my head to the point where, if I want to go on with my day, I have to avoid them.
re-post from AiB, but I REALLY want help.
So I've been having some really intrusive thoughts about pain lately that I 100% can't get out of my head, mostly because I feel they're real and not something that really should be gotten over.
I've never been a fan of physical pain, obviously, but since like...two months ago I haven't been able to stop thinking about how awful it really could be. Everybody falls and hurts themselves and ****, but I'm talking about actual like...getting stabbed in the face pain. Have you ever been cut by a knife or something really sharp? Two years ago I was playing with a new knife I bought slicing paper. I missed and sliced off the edge of my left thumb. I didn't see it coming, I didn't see it happen (I was watching Family guy). I barely felt it happen. But after the fact, it was insanely painful for about two months. The wound kept reopening and bleeding and it's still ridiculously sensitive.
The reason this didn't hurt much at first was because it was fast with a new sharp blade and I wasn't aware it was going to happen. You know how when you get a needle in your arm, it doesn't really hurt if you don't look but it does if you do and tense up? Just apply that to something much more fatal.
Now it's obvious that the average person doesn't die by somebody running up to them and chainsawing through their neck, but try to imagine how it feels for the people that does happen to.
There's tons of rare ways of death that we know must have been ridiculously painful but we just write it off because we don't think it will happen to us.
I can't stop thinking about how certain scenarios would feel. Like being killed by a Lion. Or having somebody come up to you with a knife when you're cornered somewhere. You anticipate the pain and know that you're going to be stabbed. If they stab you in the neck or heart, it will be unimaginably painful, but you'll die in a few seconds most likely.
But if it isn't quick, the pain...I dunno. I can't get the thought of **** like that out of my head. I can't watch scary movies anymore, because I just picture how it must feel to be the people getting murdered. Too be honest the first time I really thought about all this was when I was high. Don't lock this blog due to mentioning this, because if anything, it's anti-marijuana. Now EVERY TIME I smoke my mind goes to this. I'll be having a great time hanging with friends around campus, then somebody will mention something and I'll just freak out inside my head.
How does everybody cope with this? Again, it probably won't happen to me or anybody reading this, but the thought of being brutally murdered alone makes me not want to leave my house. And I'm not even a generally scarred person. I've always been outgoing with physical activity and other potentially harmful stuff. I started with gymnastics then moved to karate which I eventually got my black belt in. I've never been scared of knives. My Grandpa and Dad are huge knife and gun collectors so I started a knife collection like ten years ago. I used to love these things.
Now I can't even play a videogame with violence and gore anymore. I just can't stop picturing myself in that situation. I think a lot of us can't picture how painful something like that really would be. Nobody's ever going to rip off your fingernails, but how can you watch that happen in a movie and not obsess over how it really would feel?
I really want to be able to stop thinking like this and if anybody has any suggestion or knows how they don't sweat it, it would be much appreciated. Again, I've never been a fearful person, but the kinds of things that occur in horror movies and **** just burrow into my head to the point where, if I want to go on with my day, I have to avoid them.
re-post from AiB, but I REALLY want help.