I feel guilty when i make combos or when i win

TEMVSL

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#1
What should i do? this is holding me back too much, for example in a tournament i know i can win against my opponent but then i start to feel guilty when i do combos or when i win, and when that happens i fail the combo on purpose, and sometimes i start sandbagging. What can i do to stop doing this or feeling like this?
 

Lil Puddin

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#4
OK, like, I'm a :4zelda:main so I'm automatically way wiser than most people. That's how it works. 100% facts. No need to dispute it. Yep. Mmmhm.

Anyway, I have some sassy sage advice for you in regards to competing. As long as you're playing by the rules and doing your best, their stress or salt is none of your business. However they react is outta ya mind, outta ya hands, that's on them. Besides, beating someone in a game will help them improve. Failure is the first step to success, etc, etc, etc. Winning is also really nice for you or at the very least trying your best so you can learn to be better even if you lose. In the end, holding back is a disservice to them and yourself.
So what I'm trying to convey is... YOU DO YOU, GORL :secretkpop:
 

dvatch

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#5
You should play teams so you feel guilty whether you win or lose. But seriously, if the happiness you get from winning does not outweigh the empathy you have for your opponent, a teammate can help motivate you to play well. Once you are comfortable beating people in doubles, you might not feel bad about beating people in singles.
 

Sdhy

Smash Rookie
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Oct 17, 2017
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#6
One possibility is: they're not taking it personally.
Maybe if you chit-chat with them afterwards (maybe not right after defeating them),
you'll realize that they didn't take it personally and that they can live with losing.
And seeing this will one day make you be like aha! there's nothing wrong with winning!





Other ideas:
Before pools, you could teach them. help them improve.
Just friendly say, "pfft I'm not even thinking about spotdodging like I should. Grab more!" Or Dash dance more or shield more.

Try out your secondaries to level the playing field.

I want to say play as low-tiers, but that could have the opposite effect if they think you're out to disresecpt them lol.
But it can be a crowd pleaser or intense close- battles!

Or you can try and find people just looking to have fun.
Like I'm a noob, but I can still have fun, even though I lose.

Hope this helps.
 

Akim

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#7
I mean people do learn from losing. I know i try to think of why i got absolutely bodied.
 
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KirinKQP

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Springfield, Ohio
#8
You're pretty empathetic which in this case is pretty bad as you start to sandbag on purpose. From the sound of it, you are playing people you know you can beat and know they get discouraged harshly from being beaten. However, this is normal when you get beaten by someone who is flat-out better than you. Honestly, do what needs to be done and just win. If it helps, if you're playing friendlies you can offer helpful advice and even just talk to them casually. In bracket, you should give advice at the end of the set (if you win, of course) which should be a push to close their skill gap between you and themselves.
 
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Zero Soul

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#10
I get it, it really sucks when we make other people feel bad, but think of it this way, while beating someone could make them feel bad, would you rather lose to someone fair and square or win against someone you know is holding back? Would you want anyone to know they only won because you're holding back and that their wins against you are fake, hollow, and meaningless? Going all out and beating someone isn't an insult, if you're going all out you're respecting them as an fellow player, and there's nothing wrong with that.
 

Milky2Milk

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#11
Ok...
Isai has the same problem so it's not just you.

:?:

Pretend your opponent is someone you hate: e.g Navi, Trump...

Then beat the crap out of them and leave a pack of salt on the desk.

Shake their hand and tell them something that they did well.

Don't follow the first two steps, just make them feel good and be nice. The Smash community is very supportive and kind, so don't worry about making them feel sad. Who knows, it might motivate them to try harder.


:starman:
 
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Wiley

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#12
What should i do? this is holding me back too much, for example in a tournament i know i can win against my opponent but then i start to feel guilty when i do combos or when i win, and when that happens i fail the combo on purpose, and sometimes i start sandbagging. What can i do to stop doing this or feeling like this?

If this post is serious and not an extrovert venting excuses for not winning something...
It's simple.

You are a loser.

This is not being mean. You are admitting to it. You're just a loser in the raw sense of the word. It's that simple. Respect the game. Respect your opponent. Respect yourself. I have no empathy for this in a setting where an opponent is trying.

You enjoy losing and not helping your opponent at the same time.

Maybe this kind of rude awakening will help you
 
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Mr_towel_Man

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#13
I hate to say it but if you don't have any fun in winning then maybe competing in this game isn't for you.
There are plenty of other great things about Melee that let you be known without even competing.
A few that I can think of off the top of my head are:
MagicScrumpy
PracticalTAS
and more...
 

LovinMitts

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#15
I have this issue too. It doesn't set in until after I take a game/set, but I do feel bad when I beat someone. especially when it was close or if they obviously wanted it more than me. But this feeling only ever surfaces as a "good game" and a handshake.

The look of disappointment in an opponent after losing a close set hurts my heart, man. We've all been there.
 

KEYLIME SSB

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#16
It's Just a video game. An amazing video game, but you shouldn't pity the players that you beat. It's their fault for not DIing (unless you play Marth, then it is your fault mr uptilt) or not landing their techs. I actually feel kind of guilty when I raid a village in mount and blade warband though.
 

Mr_towel_Man

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#17
I have this issue too. It doesn't set in until after I take a game/set, but I do feel bad when I beat someone. especially when it was close or if they obviously wanted it more than me. But this feeling only ever surfaces as a "good game" and a handshake.

The look of disappointment in an opponent after losing a close set hurts my heart, man. We've all been there.
I feel that it is fine to be "affectionate" or understanding of another player but as many have said before you should not feel regret while playing a competitive game.
 

Diddy Kong

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#19
What should i do? this is holding me back too much, for example in a tournament i know i can win against my opponent but then i start to feel guilty when i do combos or when i win, and when that happens i fail the combo on purpose, and sometimes i start sandbagging. What can i do to stop doing this or feeling like this?
Play a extremely bad character. Like Jigglypuff and pretend it's your new main or something. Literally try and use Sing for example. Try and hit your bad friends with a charged Roy Neutral B? Go for spike kills with Ganondorf. It can all be good fun like that

Never mind. Noticed this is the Melee forum. So then I'll say just play Mewtwo. In Melee he's bad but fun.

I also agree that you should just help players getting better by beating them but help by giving tips throughout the match. Beat them senseless and say how they should improve. And again, try another character or just a bottom tier one who's fun and learn that character. That would make you better as well in the end.
 
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TEMVSL

Smash Apprentice
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Jul 16, 2015
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Mexico
#20
Thanks everyone! will definitely try all of your advice. Now i'll start working to change my mindset to a better one so i can stop feeling like that!
And again, thanks guys!
 
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