finalark
SNORLAX
Link to original post: [drupal=1226]First Impressions: God of War[/drupal]
It was a long week for me, and I really wanted to violently kill things while laughing like Light Yagami near the end of Death Note. So I borrowed God of War from a friend of mine. So, why does this game create more stress than it relieves?
I fire up the game and get an interesting cinematic in which Kratos, a Spartan warrior with an outrageous jawline decides to kill himself by throwing himself from the highest peak in all of Greece. Then I get a flashback where I'm on a boat getting attacked by Hydras. So then the game play starts. I mash Square and Triangle and watch Kratos balletic dance around with some kind of sword/chain hybrid disemboweling some monster dudes. Then I hit the circle button and ripped another monster dude in half. Awesome. But for some reason, I didn't find that there was enough blood from my enemies. When I ripped that monster dude in half I was expecting there would be enough blood to cover a good portion of the area in dead guy. But oh well, beggars can't be choosers.
So, next area. Killed some more monster dudes, then a hydra head pops out and I kick it's ***. No problem there. So then I move on, and I see a bunch of sailors who are pinned down by more monster dudes with arrows. And then I am given a ridiculous box puzzle in which you must kick around a box, getting it to where the archers are then use it to jump up and kill them. This puzzle really got on my nerves, because every time I was one step away to getting to where it needed to be, some freaking archer destroyed the box with and arrow (how does that work?). So after I got past that pain in my *** I had to go find a key to get some women out of a room that they were stuck in. So I go in the obvious direction that I'm supposed to go, kill some more monster dudes and then got to the Hydra boss. This is where the game pissed me off. I kill the first two heads with ease, and I climb up the mass to confront the big head. I beat it up a bit, then was given a quick-time even where I had to mash the circle button to kick it's ***.
Before I go on, I want you to pick any game in your collection that requires serious button mashing. None of that "okay, you pressed it a few times, that works" but button mashing where you have to furiously slam down on the button rapidly, as if it were to save your (insert important person here). Got your game picked out? Okay, now get to the part where you need to mash said button. Before you get to the mashing, I want you to flip your controller upside down so that your left thumb is where the buttons are, and your right where the control stick is. Angry at your game yet? Good, because this is what it is like trying to play that button-mashy part of God of War when you're left-handed. And yes, I did try what I just told you to do and I still died. Oh, and if you fail the mandatory quick-time event his health regenerates.
So after doing this several times, and getting close to snapping my controller in two, several times, I eventually just decided to screw Kratos and to just pop in Painkiller and relieve the stress I just created with that.
God of War looks like a good game, and I am in no way saying that the game sucks. I really enjoyed it up until that **** boss. I guess I'll just have to get someone else to mash circle for me so I can move on to killing more monster dudes.
It was a long week for me, and I really wanted to violently kill things while laughing like Light Yagami near the end of Death Note. So I borrowed God of War from a friend of mine. So, why does this game create more stress than it relieves?
I fire up the game and get an interesting cinematic in which Kratos, a Spartan warrior with an outrageous jawline decides to kill himself by throwing himself from the highest peak in all of Greece. Then I get a flashback where I'm on a boat getting attacked by Hydras. So then the game play starts. I mash Square and Triangle and watch Kratos balletic dance around with some kind of sword/chain hybrid disemboweling some monster dudes. Then I hit the circle button and ripped another monster dude in half. Awesome. But for some reason, I didn't find that there was enough blood from my enemies. When I ripped that monster dude in half I was expecting there would be enough blood to cover a good portion of the area in dead guy. But oh well, beggars can't be choosers.
So, next area. Killed some more monster dudes, then a hydra head pops out and I kick it's ***. No problem there. So then I move on, and I see a bunch of sailors who are pinned down by more monster dudes with arrows. And then I am given a ridiculous box puzzle in which you must kick around a box, getting it to where the archers are then use it to jump up and kill them. This puzzle really got on my nerves, because every time I was one step away to getting to where it needed to be, some freaking archer destroyed the box with and arrow (how does that work?). So after I got past that pain in my *** I had to go find a key to get some women out of a room that they were stuck in. So I go in the obvious direction that I'm supposed to go, kill some more monster dudes and then got to the Hydra boss. This is where the game pissed me off. I kill the first two heads with ease, and I climb up the mass to confront the big head. I beat it up a bit, then was given a quick-time even where I had to mash the circle button to kick it's ***.
Before I go on, I want you to pick any game in your collection that requires serious button mashing. None of that "okay, you pressed it a few times, that works" but button mashing where you have to furiously slam down on the button rapidly, as if it were to save your (insert important person here). Got your game picked out? Okay, now get to the part where you need to mash said button. Before you get to the mashing, I want you to flip your controller upside down so that your left thumb is where the buttons are, and your right where the control stick is. Angry at your game yet? Good, because this is what it is like trying to play that button-mashy part of God of War when you're left-handed. And yes, I did try what I just told you to do and I still died. Oh, and if you fail the mandatory quick-time event his health regenerates.
So after doing this several times, and getting close to snapping my controller in two, several times, I eventually just decided to screw Kratos and to just pop in Painkiller and relieve the stress I just created with that.
God of War looks like a good game, and I am in no way saying that the game sucks. I really enjoyed it up until that **** boss. I guess I'll just have to get someone else to mash circle for me so I can move on to killing more monster dudes.
