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Evolutionary branching of melee

TheGoat

Smash Ace
Joined
Aug 30, 2010
Messages
584
So I was wondering....what if we did something like give prison inmates melee. How long would it take for the wavedash to evolve? Would we see the same general structure in the tier list? It would be great because in prison you literally have too much time to do nothing. If they had SSBM the metagame would progress faster because they have nothing else to do, really. Do you think our high tiers would dominate the game sooner or later? Or maybe we would see some new character potential.
 

Morin0

Smash Lord
Joined
Oct 9, 2007
Messages
1,907
Location
San Diego, CA
So I'm not the only one that has wondered about this? :laugh:
I definitely think the metagame would progress at an alarming rate because as you said, there's literally nothing to do but play Melee.
 

Geenareeno

Smash Lord
Joined
Aug 10, 2010
Messages
1,102
Location
Saskatoon, SK
Most people in prison aren't good at videogames, i'm pretty sure. And a lot of them wouldn't have interest. But I am looking at the wrong parts of your question. I know what you mean, and I have thought about it too. Like if you just kept people in a house and all they could do was eat, sleep, exercise, and play melee. How would their meta game develop?
 

Battlecow

Play to Win
Joined
May 19, 2009
Messages
8,740
Location
Chicago
Dude, thinking about this and Planet Piss's thing about the chosen-to-play-smash-against-aliens-for-the-fate-of-our-world thing take up a discouraging percentage of my waking hours. You're not the only one.

The metagame would accelerate like a mafa. Don't underestimate the power of a ****load of people with nothing better to do in one place over an extended period of time; look at Tacna in 64.
 

Planet Piss

Smash Journeyman
Joined
May 22, 2008
Messages
233
Location
Meridian, ID
Maybe, but they would undoubtedly develop different rules than us. Because of this, I think the resulting tier lists/matchups would be slightly skewed. Plus, I think the general prison population would have lower IQs than the rest of the country, but I could be wrong. They would probably just aggro all the time and make silly mistakes that go unpunished because their fellow smashers are, on average, dumb as nails.

Oh, and Melee crews: Inmates vs. free men
 
Joined
Oct 10, 2011
Messages
1,126
Location
Boise, ID
NNID
dansalvato
I think the reason that Melee metagame has made it this far is that there are subgroups all around the world which play differently. The subgroups have learned bits and pieces from each other but eventually reach a plateau where everyone can only get as good as each other. After solid playstyles are established, it's the mixing of the subgroups that further develops the metagame. You won't get very good simply by playing the same small group of people for a decade.
 

twizzlerj

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Jul 30, 2011
Messages
349
Location
Freehold NJ
I think the reason that Melee metagame has made it this far is that there are subgroups all around the world which play differently. The subgroups have learned bits and pieces from each other but eventually reach a plateau where everyone can only get as good as each other. After solid playstyles are established, it's the mixing of the subgroups that further develops the metagame. You won't get very good simply by playing the same small group of people for a decade.
Different prisons play eachother also for the younger criminals melee should be supplied in juvy as well.
 

Blu

Smash Apprentice
Joined
Jan 10, 2012
Messages
159
Location
Sarasota (Midwest Florida)
What is this?? I don't even--

Why do we have to use prison inmates? Why not hypothesize further by changing this to small populations each held in designated facilities like Fallout's Vault 101 or The Truman Show's dome setting? This way we wouldn't be stuck with lower-IQ'd, violent inmates who might shank their opponents after hype matches instead of johning.

Isai's Prison-Parallel -- "Don't get shanked, bro!"

We would even have control over how rule-sets are established, granted their's some more "involved" governing body. This also solves the lack of regional metagames, since this could easily include other "vaults" with similar variables, who would be able to get together in under very controlled circumstances.
 

Battlecow

Play to Win
Joined
May 19, 2009
Messages
8,740
Location
Chicago
I think the reason that Melee metagame has made it this far is that there are subgroups all around the world which play differently. The subgroups have learned bits and pieces from each other but eventually reach a plateau where everyone can only get as good as each other. After solid playstyles are established, it's the mixing of the subgroups that further develops the metagame. You won't get very good simply by playing the same small group of people for a decade.
True, but we're not talking about playing a small group of people for a decade. Most melee groups or crews have been made up of no more than 5 truly dedicated players; you start playing the players and your game gets inbred. With a larger population--say, a hundred dedicated smashers living in close proximity to each other and vying against each other, every one of them itching to move a spot up on the ladder, innovations would spring up faster than they possibly could in a group of three buds playing friendlies.

The closest thing we have to an example of this comes from 64--the city of Tacna, in Peru, never really adopted melee or brawl, but kept a thriving 64 scene from '99 to the present. While they weren't aware of a competitive scene outside their city until I believe 2010, they had, in their own words, "25 pro player," and "good player are like fish in the sea." They played with each other regularly, and by 2011, their best players were able to compete with and nearly defeat Isai, who's traveled the world in search of competition and has been the center of the major 64 competitive scene as long as it's existed.

Not necessarily a prison, I guess. The vault or whatever is cool.

Also, smash IQ is not the same as normal IQ- they may be correlated, but I know some real *******es who've shown a greater degree of aptitude for the game than really smart people.
 

Tekk

Smash Lord
Joined
Feb 10, 2009
Messages
1,112
Location
Lyon, France
Let's host a smash tournament in a prison then; the winner is set free, and the top 3 behind him is given access to certain perks (better beds, more time out, one legal buttrape per month etc)
 

Bones0

Smash Legend
Joined
Aug 31, 2005
Messages
11,153
Location
Jarrettsville, MD
No one would main Peach/Jiggs (for obvious reasons). Falcon and Ganon would gain popularity parallel to the space animals with the consequence of a Falcon/Ganon-dominated metagame. Other popular characters would likely include DK, Samus, and Link. The go-to low tier would be Bowser. Doc would be ranked below Mario due to prejudice against the upper class. The only legal stages would be FD and BF.

Rather than being a commentary on an epic team combo, Wombo Combo would be the horrific cries shouted during an incident when teaminmates by the aliases of Silent Steve, Poontang, and Hoback (he always gets his hoes back) jumped Zoo (named for his crime of bestiality at his local pet store) in the showers.

"Oh, dat uppercut!"
"And now..."
"Poor Zoo."
"Happy feet!" (a reference to Zoo's previous career as a competitive boxer, known for his fancy footwork)
"Wombo Combo!"
"That ain't sterile."
"That ain't ster-"
"OH OH OH OHHHH OOH OHHH OMG!!!"
"Where are you at?! Where are you at?! Where are you at?!"
"OH... OMG... WOMBO COMBOOOOO!!!"
"GET YO *** WHOOPED!!!"
"WTF was that?"
"My freakin' **** hurts. MY **** HURTS!"
"Hoback's **** is hard..."
"We're all a little bit hard."


Don't even get me started on the ordeal started by Stitchface Stan...
 

Mahone

Smash Champion
Joined
Apr 19, 2010
Messages
2,940
Location
Blacksburg, VA
So I was wondering....what if we did something like give prison inmates melee. How long would it take for the wavedash to evolve? Would we see the same general structure in the tier list? It would be great because in prison you literally have too much time to do nothing. If they had SSBM the metagame would progress faster because they have nothing else to do, really. Do you think our high tiers would dominate the game sooner or later? Or maybe we would see some new character potential.
I've been to prison so i can tell you exactly what they'd do...

they'd break the melee disk in half to make multiple shanks out of it...

then they would attempt to take a guard hostage, but in the end the warden would give the go ahead to hit 'em with the tear gas and then they would all get put on lock down for 48 hours
 
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