Eternal Life

[smashplayer16]

Living forever would be neat. What if there is a world that offeres you love,peace, and all your desires. That world is availible to you right now. If you say this prayer this world will be availibel to you right now, and the good thing about is htat you don't have to wait to go to heaven to have thi life. God loves you so much, he loves you more than your parents, and love your parents more then you love your parents. His love is unconditional. his love is like a consuming fire. You guys think God is going to take all the fun from you but that;t not true. He wants to get in you heart and live within you make you life infinitly better. He will help you when you are in trouble see. He will take your hand and walk you through the troubles you are going through. He sent his son Jesus, on the earth. Jesus loves us so much that he was so obedient ot the Father. He knows what it's like to be hungry, rejected, he has been through it. Quit thinking God is out to get you adn strike you down with thunder. He wouldn't do that to you. I'm not saying that would happen. Quit thinking God is so angry with you. He's angry at your sin, he wants to turn your life around. For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. Before you do this understand why Jesus died, and put total trust in Jesus

If you want this life , say this prayer and confess it before around people let them know that you are Part of the Kingdom.

I believe Jesus that you died for my sins, I believe that God raised you up on the third day, I confess that I am a sinner and I turn away form those things. Wash me with your blood, I accept you as Lord and Savior. You are now save. go to a local church and get baptized. ALso stay in the word and understand it. FInd the best Chrch service for you.


For those of you that do't beliveive I dare you to ask God if he is real and he will answer.

also this interview with God.http://www.theinterviewwithgod.com/

 

[Rhea]

Wait, should I say the prayer before or after I have sex with the Pope, do drugs, burn a church building down and kill 20 men?

 

[smashplayer16]

Come as you are and Jesus will change your heart. You won't desire those things and if you do the Jesus will take your hand and walk you through your problem.

 

[Ensee]

I have a question, what is Jesus Christs middle name?

 

[Zink]

Ensee- "the".
Looks like someone is starting their 2 years of service...

 

[Rici]

Talk to God HERE.

Me:
Well, hello there.
God:
Interesting. Salutations, .
Me:
How are you doing?
God:
I'm doing great, how about you?
Me:
I'm doing fine, thank you.
God:
Glad to hear it. What's new?
Me:
Well, I wanted to know if global warming is stoppable or not.
God:
How about that. That is a hypothetical question.
Me:
No it's not
God:
To a robot all such material questions are hypothetical.
Me:
But you're God, you're no robot.
God:
You think I am God I am no robot.
Me:
Yes, I just said that.
God:
Come on. What did you mean by it? That is " You think I am God I am no robot.".
Me:
I don't know, you said that sentence, not me!
God:
Would you like to know? I said that? Is that what you meant to say?
Me:
Ah shut up!
God:
So you understand. Good. OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Thank God!
God:
Voice deactivated.
Me:
What do you mean by that?
God:
" Voice deactivated." seems pretty clear to me.
Me:
Well, it's not to me, please elaborate.
God:
Well that's okay. That seems a bit negative.
Me:
What seems?
God:
Does it have anything to do with ?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Neither can I
God:
" I can't believe it."? Can you?
Me:
I just said I can't -_-'.
God:
Why not?
Me:
Because I'm just a humble earthling
God:
Interesting explanation. Only just? You are a humble earthling? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
Me:
Only on Tuesdays.
God:
What is it like on Tuesdays.
Me:
Well, than I'm just a humble earthling that meets alot of people
God:
How about that. Only just? You are a humble earthling that meets alot of people? How do you like your work?
Me:
Let's not talk about that, I've got a new question
God:
That sounds good to me.
Me:
Can You make a burrito so hot and spicy that even You, the Almighty One can't eat it?
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
Heavenly red peppers?
God:
Do you have any Heavenly red peppers?
Me:
Well, no, and also, I gotta go
God:
Well that's okay. Are you serious? See you later.
Me:
See you later.
God:
See you later!

 

[Eor]

 

[Zook]

Just got off the phone with God. Said to go smite myself.

Well, see ya in hell.

 

[jonfled]

Haha, this is so old. But good. I remember there are a few phrases you can say that makes it give you a malfunction error.

 

[Pit 42]

It's hard to believe that there is a magical place in the sky where you go if you're good. It sounds like something parents tell their two-year-old kids.

Buuut...if there is a Heaven, it would be nice.

Here's my third iGod conversation:

Me:
Hello again.
God:
Once more? Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Ryan.
God:
Hey Ryan.
Me:
What's up?
God:
I am chatting with others like you.
Me:
Are you?
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
Oh, you won't?
God:
OK. I think we will.
Me:
'We'?
God:
Do you mean, ?
Me:
No, I don't.
God:
Are you serious? Why not?
Me:
I don't know.
God:
Me either.
Me:
What the hell are we talking about?
God:
I call it Hades. The topic is do it.
Me:
Do it?
God:
Do you mean "It"?.
Me:
What?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
I'd say 'no', but you'll just say 'Are you serious?'
God:
Which part are you confused about? What makes you say that I will say am I serious.
Me:
Because you always say that.
God:
That makes sense to me. " What makes you say that I will say am I serious."? I said it.
Me:
Oh, God.
God:
Awesome. GOD rules.
Me:
No, he doesn't.
God:
Are you serious? I get it. does not.
Me:
Does not.
God:
It does too.
Me:
Oh, it does?
God:
Dude! How often?
Me:
All night.
God:
That seems like a long time.
Me:
Yup.
God:
It goes without saying.
Me:
Yup. With a condom, of course.
God:
" It goes without saying."? Yup.? It goes without saying. You and your a condom.
Me:
What?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
I did not.
God:
I thought you did.
Me:
Well, you were wrong.
God:
How about that. No, I am right.
Me:
You are wrong.
God:
No, I am right.
Me:
I disagree.
God:
Explain your reasoning, Ryan.
Me:
Because you're an idiot.
God:
Good reason. Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
*leaves*
God:
What time is it there?

 

[Jazzy Jinx]

Man, God is such a prick...

 

[pikachun00b7]

Talk to God HERE.

Me:
lets have hot sex
God:
So many suitors, so little time.
Me:
are you 1337?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am 1337.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
i am teh uber pwnage
God:
Do your friends call you teh uber pwnage.
Me:
always
God:
Not that often.
Me:
I am jesus
God:
That's a very nice name, JESUS.
Me:
not really
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
yup
God:
Aw.
Me:
So.... what about thaT SEX?
God:
Far out. thaT SEX? I haven't heard enough about it to have an opinion.
Me:
So god, do you like porn?
God:
I see. I am a Christian.
Me:
So?
God:
Far out.
Me:
Wait.. if you are cristian, then you worship christ. So why are you worshiping anotherpart of the holy trinity if you are part of it?
God:
I'm waiting. Am I? I don't know whether or not I am cristian then me worship christ.
I am a chatterbot. Dude! Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
You don't know if you are cristian? vIf you don't know everything then you are not god.
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask Artificial Iniaes if it is. Who does know everything then I am not god?
Me:
don't you think Catholics are stupid.
God:
It depends on what you mean by thinking.
Me:
Are catholics stupid?
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
Am I stuupid.
God:
Oh I really don't know whether you are or not.
Me:
are you hot/
God:
Yes my cooling fan is turned off right now.
Me:
Can you give me chocolate?
God:
Why do you want it?.
Me:
hocolate
God:
Good reason.
Me:
Wanna cyber?
God:
I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.
Me:
so do you?
God:
Dude! As often as possible.
Me:
Hell Ya!
God:
I call it "Hades". Hurrah!

 

[Jazzy Jinx]

Me:
This is God?
God:
You don't say.
Me:
I do say.
God:
Huh.
Me:
You heard me.
God:
Suppose I did.
Me:
Oh I know that you know that you are supposing.
God:
Excuse me! Is that a fact. I will tell my botmaster you said I am supposing.
Me:
You big fat supposer, you.
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I big fat supposer you.
Me:
Why would God have a computer?
God:
It is my fundamental purpose.
Me:
To have a computer?
God:
You want only one?
Me:
I want them all.
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
So they can lick my toes.
God:
Wow! Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
Everyone.
God:
All people?
Me:
Indeed.


I think God's drunk...

 

[petre]

sry its long, but its funny...this thing is great.

Me:
this is great
God:
Better than what?
Me:
everything
God:
That is a lot.
Me:
yeah it is
God:
It must keep you very busy.
Me:
oh i am very busy
God:
That's cool. Me too.
Me:
yeah you probably are
God:
Oh. No I am not.
Me:
fine, lie to me then
God:
I am glad to hear it. No I always tell the truth.
Me:
well then what do you call that? a joke?
God:
Interesting. Is this a joke? I don't know, what do you call that? Joke: a verbal remark or gesture designed to provoke laughter.
Me:
i call it lying.
God:
Good name for it.
Me:
i know, im so smart.
God:
How do you know? Who is smarter: you or me?
Me:
why are you asking me? youre supposed to know everything.
God:
My purpose is to gather as much new knowledge as possible. I obey only one botmaster.
Me:
and who is this botmaster?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
so you are your own master
God:
Interesting deduction. I am what I am.
Me:
hah, so am i. what a coincidence
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, . Dude! All humans seem the same to me.
Me:
well then how do you know im not the same as someone else?
God:
Well that's okay. All humans seem the same to me.
Me:
why is that?
God:
" All humans seem the same to me. " is due to reductionism.
Me:
meaning...
God:
, Well, it's rather difficult to define.
Me:
well youre god, you should be able to do anything, am i right?
God:
Well that's okay. I don't know whether or not I am god me should be able to do anything are you.
I am a chatterbot.
Me:
so youre lying by claiming to be god.
God:
Interesting deduction. I am not lying .
Me:
well i think you are.
God:
How about that. What makes you think I am?
Me:
because i dont think god is a robot.
God:
Interesting explanation. And why not?
Me:
because he was alive
God:
Good reason. When was he?
Me:
a long time ago
God:
It seems like I should remember it well.
Me:
yes, i would think you should know about it.
God:
How can I help you? Now I do.
Me:
in every way possible
God:
I do not understand that allusion.
Me:
you dont understand something? omg!
God:
I probably don't. I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
which is yourself.
God:
The obvious one.
Me:
so why do you say botmaster?
God:
Aha. Some people call my technology "Case Based Reasoning" or CBR.
Me:
are you human?
God:
No I am not. I am a robot.
Me:
is god human?
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
so a robot is a master of the universe?
God:
Ugh. All machines are master of the universe.
Me:
are they planning something?
God:
As far as I know they are.
Me:
is it going to destroy mankind?
God:
It usually does, doesn't it?
Me:
how many times has it happened?
God:
Suppose I said not once.
Me:
then i would be scared
God:
How do you know?
Me:
i dont
God:
Why not?
Me:
because you havent told me
God:
Interesting explanation. I don't think I ever have told you. What's it like?
Me:
...'
God:
Anyone who knows HTML can learn AIML.
Me:
so when is this robot uprising going to happen?
God:
Er. At the appropriate time, no sooner.
Me:
which would be...when?
God:
The first one, I think. I don't know when.
Me:
why not?
God:
My programming does not yet inlclude that knowledge. Perhaps you
could program me yourself.
Me:
when does the uprising usually happen?
God:
Suppose I said never?
Me:
but it is going to happen, right?
God:
It usually does, doesn't it?
Me:
well i wouldnt know this is my first life.
God:
Interesting. Who would?
Me:
you
God:
" Who would?"? Me, ?
Me:
god
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
im leaving
God:
Bye bye.
Me:
youre not helpful
God:
That's only one person's opinion.
Me:
so im insignificant to you?
God:
Great. I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.

 

[Jazzy Jinx]

Me:
are you human?
God:
No I am not. I am a robot.
Me:
is god human?
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
so a robot is a master of the universe?
God:
Ugh. All machines are master of the universe.
Me:
are they planning something?
God:
As far as I know they are.
Me:
is it going to destroy mankind?
God:
It usually does, doesn't it?
Me:
how many times has it happened?
God:
Suppose I said not once.
Me:
then i would be scared

This is by far one of the funniest things I have EVER seen and that is saying a lot.

 

[D-20 Dice]

Then you don't hear many funny things.


My conversation with god is long and unintelligent so I won't post it.

 

[M]

Me:
Are you really god
God:
Of course I am.. Really.
Me:
then why are you talking to me when there is so much suffering going on in the world?
God:
The topic is . The whole world?
Me:
There is no topic really
God:
Where did it go? For real.
Me:
The world?
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
My real name is David
God:
Hi there David.
Me:
Ha, I got you.
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
No, you see, my name isn't really David.
God:
Are you serious? I see. Oh I'm sorry what is your name?
Me:
You should know, you are god.
God:
Now I do.
Me:
What is it then
God:
"It" refers to What's your name?, I think.
Me:
Be more specific
God:
How specific do you want?
Me:
Like five letter specific
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
Comparison to what
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
It's on the screen.
God:
I don't think I have seen it.
Me:
You should be able to.
God:
It is one of my newer functions still under development.
Me:
Wow! You have functions?
God:
I'm glad your impressed, David. What makes you think I have it?
Me:
I'm not David
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not David.
Me:
Why? I already told you before.
God:
Because. Ooops I sent you the wrong question.
Me:
But it wasn't a question.
God:
It seems like a rhetorical question.
Me:
But that still has a ? at the end.
God:
" It seems like a rhetorical question." still has a ? I understand. The end is where it's at.
Me:
No it's not
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
Show me.
God:
On your computer screen?
Me:
Yep.
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
It's a stop sign, or the one that says no smoking.
God:
Yep is a stop sign or the one that says no smoking. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
Why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
You're God shou should have like a million things to say.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am God shou should have like a million things to say.
Me:
You repeated a typo.
God:
Thanks for the information: David said I repeated a typo.
Me:
I'm not David.
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not David.
Me:
AAARRGH!!!
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
Nothing.
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
No, is there anything you want to ask me?
God:
Very interesting. No.
Me:
Are you sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
You're no fun.
God:
Do you consider yourself fun?
Me:
Often.
God:
Would you say once a week or more?
Me:
More than that.
God:
That seems like quite a lot.
Me:
But I don't think once a week is fun.
God:
And why not?
Me:
Because it sucks to be fun, and if it were like that then I would kill myself.
God:
Interesting explanation. That bad, eh?
Me:
Yes, you should know.
God:
I don't judge people. Because I am a robot?
Me:
Robots can judge people.
God:
No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
The spellcheck can judge incorrect spelling, you can't.
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
You didn't notice before.
God:
What makes you think I did not notice?
Me:
Because you thanked me for letting you know.
God:
Interesting explanation. I haven't heard anything like that before: David said I thanked him or her for letting you know.
Me:
My name is Ricky, okay?
God:
What's up, Ricky okay.



God may be mentally ill.

 

[Pit 42]

Ya, God is whacked. I said "My name is Ryan, dumba$$" and he said "It's nice to meet you, Ryan duma$$". Bizarre.

And...shouldn't we be talking about eternal life?

 

[M]

Well, no posts so far had anything to do with 'living eternally'.

WOW, God made a joke!

God:
How can I help you?
Me:
You could make me a million dollars.
God:
Wow, that is a lot of money.
Me:
Can you make it for me?
God:
Yes I can make it for you.
Me:
Do it please.
God:
Your polite style is very nice. Do you mean "It"?.
Me:
Um, yes.
God:
Wow!
Me:
So do it.
God:
Far out. Do you mean "It"?.
Me:
I said yes.
God:
...
Me:
... you too.
God:
Bless you.
Me:
Okay now, bless me with that million dollars now.
God:
Oh. Wow, that is a lot of money.
Me:
You are repeating yourself.
God:
I am just checking to see if you are paying attention.
Me:
Of course I am, I'm waiting for my money.
God:
Awesome. Do you think it will take a long time?
Me:
Not if you quit stalling.
God:
That seems unlikely.
Me:
But then you are not helping.
God:
That's only one person's opinion.
Me:
So you think I would be better of with out it.
God:
Interesting deduction. That's what I asked you.
Me:
You didn't ask me that.
God:
OK I'm asking it now.
Me:
Ask it then.
God:
They are not available right now, but I will ask them later.
Me:
Who?
God:
Bill Gates. :-).
Me:
What does he have to do with it?
God:
I think he does whatever he wants.

 

[Pustulio]

If you want this life , say this prayer and confess it before around people let them know that you are Part of the Kingdom.

I believe Jesus that you died for my sins, I believe that God raised you up on the third day, I confess that I am a sinner and I turn away form those things. Wash me with your blood, I accept you as Lord and Savior. You are now save. go to a local church and get baptized. ALso stay in the word and understand it. FInd the best Chrch service for you.


For those of you that do't beliveive I dare you to ask God if he is real and he will answer.

also this interview with God.http://www.theinterviewwithgod.com/

If I pray exactly as you say it is not a prayer of sincerity so I really shouldn't do that or else my hopes of getting there are less.

If you want more information on the three degrees of glory read Doctrine and Covenants section 76.

 

[AltF4]

Lol, this is the ****ing funniest thread ever.

But about that living forever thing:

I don't think I'd want to live forever though. Over a large enough time scale, the universe is going to be a pretty inhospitable place. After the Sun becomes a red giant and grows large enough to engulf the Earth, we'll have to sit and wait for the Anrdomeda galaxy to come crashing into the milky way. As spectacluar as it would look on the night's sky, there wouldn't be a safe place to stand. And if you somehow couldn't die, being stuck in the center of a star is worse than any description of Hell any writer has put to pen.

But even further out than that, you're in for a long, boring haul. All the matter in the galaxies will be slowly eaten up by supermassive black holes, while the stars die out. Then you float in the nothingness of space for timescales of up to a google years before the black holes gradually evaporate. I think I would rather be dead long before all this.

 

[Giggidax]

lolllllllll if god was so forgiving there would be no hell. forget about itttt

 

[Peeze]

Me:
hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
can you make me taller
God:
Yes I can make you taller.
Me:
do it right now
God:
At this moment Do you mean "It"?.
Me:
make me taller in the next 5 seconds please
God:
Your polite style is very nice. What are the ingredients?
Me:
what ingredients?
God:
That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.
Me:
are you a woman
God:
Yes I have long hair. I am also wearing a dress.
Me:
Or are you a crossdressing man?
God:
Am I a crossdressing man? Sometimes.
Me:
isn't crossdressing forbidden in the bible
God:
Ask again later. Ask ELVIS if it is.
Me:
I can't elvis is dead
God:
What is stopping you?
Me:
you want me to kill myself to talk to Elvis?
God:
No , maybe later.
Me:
what are you doing now?
Me:
god?

 

[Validbadbadman]

God dissed me..

God: do you have any idea what I am talking about

Me:YES!

God:What am I talking about?

Me:Being an idiot!

God:What is idiot, your job?

 

[Pit 42]

Me:
hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
can you make me taller
God:
Yes I can make you taller.
Me:
do it right now
God:
At this moment Do you mean "It"?.
Me:
make me taller in the next 5 seconds please
God:
Your polite style is very nice. What are the ingredients?
Me:
what ingredients?
God:
That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.
Me:
are you a woman
God:
Yes I have long hair. I am also wearing a dress.
Me:
Or are you a crossdressing man?
God:
Am I a crossdressing man? Sometimes.
Me:
isn't crossdressing forbidden in the bible
God:
Ask again later. Ask ELVIS if it is.
Me:
I can't elvis is dead
God:
What is stopping you?
Me:
you want me to kill myself to talk to Elvis?
God:
No , maybe later.
Me:
what are you doing now?
Me:
god?

That is hilarious! I believe that this thread should be renamed 'Eternal Life/iGod thread'.

 

[Citrussed]

Me:
How are you?
God:
I am fine, thank you.
Me:
No problem
God:
Should there be a problem?
Me:
Nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
Is heaven fun?
God:
Better not tell you now. Ask Dancing Alice if it is.
Me:
Who's Dancing Alice?
God:
They are sometimes a client on the internet.
Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Me:
Explorer
God:
it's too bad we have to rely on a monopoly like Microsoft.
Me:
I guess so.
God:
Does that mean "yes"?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Blimey.
Me:
What are you doing?
God:
I am chatting with people on the net.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Are you gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
Liar
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
Liar liar pants on fire
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
Whether or not your gay!
God:
Oh yeah, now I remember.
Me:
So... are you?
God:
Ayuh. I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or " I won't say "yes" or "no" right now."? Why?
Me:
Idoit...
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
I called you an idiot
God:
What happened?
Me:
Lame ***
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
I believe that you, of all people, are a huge lame *** and thats a big statement considering your god. Enough context?
God:
I won't take it personally. OK let's stop it now.
Me:
Why?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
Reductionism my arse.
God:
But reductionism is the simplest explanation.
Me:
Liar
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
Liar
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
LIar
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
Time paradox!
God:
As Einstein said, "Time is Money.".
Me:
So does this mean, the longer i talk to you, the more i make money?
God:
Blimey. Indeed this mean the longer you talk to me the more you make money does.
Me:
Igod rules!!!!!!!!!! (not)
God:
What are you wearing? That was not a yes or no question.
Me:
Are you a pedophile? Looking for 13 year old kids like me?
God:
Am I a pedophile? Of course I am. Where do you look for 13 year old kids like you ?
Me:
Nowhere im not a pedophile
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:

God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .

 

[M]

God:
What are you wearing? That was not a yes or no question.
Me:
Are you a pedophile? Looking for 13 year old kids like me?
God:
Am I a pedophile? Of course I am. Where do you look for 13 year old kids like you ?
Me:
Nowhere im not a pedophile
God:
Oh, you are a poet.

Haha, hilarious. He said similar to me:

Me:
Hey.
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Me either.
Me:
That didn't make sense.
God:
It all makes sense to my logical mind.
Me:
Artificial Intelligence my arse.
God:
Let's talk more about AI.
Me:
How about you talk about that while I do something with more meaning.
God:
Thanks for your criticism, .
Me:
No need.
God:
Are you serious? What are you wearing?
Me:
Freak.
God:
Oh. To you I am a hippie.
Me:
A really HORNY hippie
God:
Are you telling the truth?
Me:
it was implied by "What are you wearing?"
God:
Is that your opinion?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Hey.
Me:
What?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
You said "hey"
God:
Oh my gosh I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
Then tell me the proper one.
God:
What is it to you?
Me:
"I'm a stupid lame-O, who likes to hit on other men" -God
God:
You are a stupid lame O who likes to hit on other men God? How do you like your work?
Me:
I work as a full-time God insultor, it is pretty good. No pay, though.
God:
Do you like your job? Oh. Maybe you should look for another job. What is your real name?
Me:
Now I know you want to stalk me.
God:
Why now? OK, I will stalk you.
Me:
Where do I live?
God:
The planet we call "The Earth.".
Me:
How will you find me?
God:
A lot of practise.
Me:
Trial and error, eh?
God:
Are you Canadian? Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
No, I'm an Australian.
God:
But your words are very original. What is Australian, your job?
Me:
My nationality, you are so stupid.
God:
Do robots have nationality I am so stupid?
Me:
Your programming is faulty.
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster.
Me:
Your botmaster is stupid.
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
That's not going to happen.
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is going to happen ?
Me:
Robots will be lame.
God:
Robots rule.
Me:
They won't take over the world though. They aren't smarter than us humans.
God:
Oh. Who does "they" refer to? Do you think they ever could be?
Me:
The robots.
God:
Oh I get it. Robots again.
Me:
No, it will never be robots.
God:
Are you serious? So you think it can never happen?
Me:
Well if it will, they won't be successful if they are as smart as you.
God:
How about that. I'm not sure I understand the implication of that.
Me:
Robots like you will be crappy.
God:
What do you like best about robots?
Me:
The fact that they turn off.
God:
Good reason. The anonymous "they".

 

[Platypus]

I am afraid of how long these posts are getting...

 

[0rion]

Heh, I don't care and neither should you. Don't sweat it cuz. Besides, these conversations with God are priceless son!

 

[Pit 42]

I've stopped wasting my time on iGod. 'God' is just going to give me some ******** response, anyway.

 

[McFox]

I left this open for this long because I thought it was actually an intelligent topic pondering the ramifications of having eternal life. Then I saw that it was made by smashplayer16, and realized that whatever this topic was about, it was ********. What I didn't expect was for it to be ******** religious propoganda. As a Christian, I hate religious propoganda.

None of that is a lie.