Can someone provide feedback for this poem?

[Hawk Flindaeton]

I wrote this poem as an expression of my need of friends, but I need people to provide feedback.

Just tell me your thoughts after you read my poem. (And please don't criticize.)


Friends


As I ran through the dust

to the pile of rubble,

my mind began to sort

through all of our troubles.


I noticed his tail

sticking out of the pile of dirt.

I dug and pulled him out, examined him

and knew he was hurt.


He was bleeding profusely

from his leg and his arm,

but I was able to move him

away from harm.


I had to set his arm

(that we did as a team),

but it took all his energy

to keep rom emitting a scream.


I patched him up

and covered his wounds,

but I realized that “safe”

was said a moment too soon.


For out of the blue

a grenade hit the ground.

I picked it up

without a sound.


I ran with it

until it blew,

throwing it at the last second

and backwards I flew.


I hit the ground

and laid there to wait.

I didn’t know that

I was too late.




My eyes were cut

so I couldn’t see

I started to cry

in spite of me.


My acquaintance patched me up

as fast as he could

and after he was done

he said I was good.


He helped me up

with only one eye

and once I was up

I began to cry.


He picked up my glaive

and gave it to me

to use as a walking stick

since I couldn’t see.


As we began

our long walk home

I suddenly felt

not so alone.


With me he would walk

all of my life

helping me through

all of my strife.


Wherever we walked

there would be no ends

I knew we would be

the greatest of friends.