Red Exodus
Smash Master
So for a long time I've been wondering if it's normal for me to be so shy and distant, but it never occurred to me that I might have an anxiety disorder. I know a lot of people are just going to say "it's all in your head", "man up", "you're just really shy" but to them I say no, it's not that simple.
Almost nothing I do comes without anxiety, even as I type this I'm a bit nervous. It's really affecting me on several levels, like earlier this evening I was at guitar lessons, I was doing fine and I was relaxed and playing well till this little kid I don't like came in, I only played a little worse, not really noticeable, but when we had to play the same song and my guitar teacher jokingly applied a little challenge [I'm the better player, but the kid was playing longer] the nerves hit me, and they hit hard. Eventually I managed to pull it together enough to play a few measures of music okay but I couldn't perfect the song like I did when I was alone due to the nerves.
Again, at school, we were talking about local politics and someone said that a politicians' personality should matter when they are running a campaign I really wanted to shoot down the argument but I was too nervous to do it even though I knew everyone there for about 2 years.
Even something as simple as catching the bus makes me nervous, I worry about stepping on people's feet and falling down on the bus [this almost happened once, it still haunts me even though it was a year ago].
I can't even make eye contact with anyone, if I lose [relationship] contact with people for more than a few months I have to start from square one, and even making this post gives me a headache, I've been fighting this for a while and I never considered it being a mental problem at all, I just thought I was on of those guys that would stay shy forever and nothing more. I googled anxiety disorder and checked the symptoms and even did an online diagnosis to make sure I wasn't over reacting and they were almost spot on.
I decided to tell me mom about it [after sitting the car for 30 minutes because I was too nervous to say it from the start] and I plan to talk to the guidance teacher tomorrow [if I don't get too nervous and wimp out] and see what she suggests.
A lot of conversations I go through dwindle to corny jokes, and me being a clown because I'm too nervous to show the real me and what people would think of that. I've tried countless times to ditch the lame *** class clown stuff but I can't because that is my comfort zone.
If you're wondering this isn't a thread just so you can pity me or whatever, I wanna know if you guys or anyone you know has gone through anything like this. This is also a thread to [sensibly] argue about whether these disorders are real or not. I really hope it's not an anxiety disorder because the drugs sound awful.
It really sucks being viewed as a clown because I can't talk seriously because I'm worried about the outcome, this thing has affected just about every part of my life I can think of. I'm thinking maybe if I get this treated I can finally [crap, I forgot what I was gonna say. Improvisation:] do want I want to do without second and third and fourth and fifth and sixth guessing what I'm going to do.
Almost nothing I do comes without anxiety, even as I type this I'm a bit nervous. It's really affecting me on several levels, like earlier this evening I was at guitar lessons, I was doing fine and I was relaxed and playing well till this little kid I don't like came in, I only played a little worse, not really noticeable, but when we had to play the same song and my guitar teacher jokingly applied a little challenge [I'm the better player, but the kid was playing longer] the nerves hit me, and they hit hard. Eventually I managed to pull it together enough to play a few measures of music okay but I couldn't perfect the song like I did when I was alone due to the nerves.
Again, at school, we were talking about local politics and someone said that a politicians' personality should matter when they are running a campaign I really wanted to shoot down the argument but I was too nervous to do it even though I knew everyone there for about 2 years.
Even something as simple as catching the bus makes me nervous, I worry about stepping on people's feet and falling down on the bus [this almost happened once, it still haunts me even though it was a year ago].
I can't even make eye contact with anyone, if I lose [relationship] contact with people for more than a few months I have to start from square one, and even making this post gives me a headache, I've been fighting this for a while and I never considered it being a mental problem at all, I just thought I was on of those guys that would stay shy forever and nothing more. I googled anxiety disorder and checked the symptoms and even did an online diagnosis to make sure I wasn't over reacting and they were almost spot on.
I decided to tell me mom about it [after sitting the car for 30 minutes because I was too nervous to say it from the start] and I plan to talk to the guidance teacher tomorrow [if I don't get too nervous and wimp out] and see what she suggests.
A lot of conversations I go through dwindle to corny jokes, and me being a clown because I'm too nervous to show the real me and what people would think of that. I've tried countless times to ditch the lame *** class clown stuff but I can't because that is my comfort zone.
If you're wondering this isn't a thread just so you can pity me or whatever, I wanna know if you guys or anyone you know has gone through anything like this. This is also a thread to [sensibly] argue about whether these disorders are real or not. I really hope it's not an anxiety disorder because the drugs sound awful.
It really sucks being viewed as a clown because I can't talk seriously because I'm worried about the outcome, this thing has affected just about every part of my life I can think of. I'm thinking maybe if I get this treated I can finally [crap, I forgot what I was gonna say. Improvisation:] do want I want to do without second and third and fourth and fifth and sixth guessing what I'm going to do.
)...I've gotten a lot better about it, though...I've learned to come out of my shell...
), and they help. But I'm not sure if you should do that, try some other solution, I am sure that people here are willing to help.
