warning: bad, emotioanl filled grammer and typing. yes, it's stupid and whiny, i'm sorry. plese don't be mad at me.
This is my daily schedule on weekdays: Wake up, go to school, come home, take a nap/play D&D (depends on day), and then spend about 4-6 hours playing Sm4sh, reading about my main, watching matches, guides, practicing tech in training, fighting people on Smash Ladder, etc. On weekends, take out go to school and replace it with more Sm4sh practice. On monday's, I don't play Sm4sh as a way to rest, and also because I have other arrangements. On Thursdays, I used to go to a weekly local, where some of the best players in Cincinnati would practice, along with some newer guys (I've stopped going recently, though, due to reasons you'll understand in a second). In case it isn't obvious, I spend a lot of time practicing. However, I've realized something: it is entirely ****ing worthless
I suck. I suck donkeyballs. I spend so much god damn time on this ****ing game, but i still suck. i've ****ing wasted my time, tried so hard, done so much, put so much of my soul into this game, but i still ****ing suck. my match history on anther's ladder is ****ing atrocious. only reason i ever have wins on there is if someone is tryint out a character for the first time. other than that, i ahve my ass handed to me over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and oever and over and i just don't know waht the **** i'm doing wrong why can't this just be the one ****ing thing i'm good at in my life jesus ****ing christ i hate myself so godadman much because i can't get over ****ing losing at a video game, but no matter what i do, not matter how much i ****ing practice, i just prove to myself time and ****ing time again that i'm a worthless sack of **** who doesn't deserve to live so much as play this game i ****ing hate myself so goddamn much, i'm suck at this game so goddamn much and i can't get any ****ing better. id on't know what else to try now, cause it's all worthless. i've tried playing defensively, rusdown, thinking more, thinking less, wanting to win with all my heart, not caring in the slightest, and no matter what i just suck more than a hoover vacuum cleaner. when most people lose, they stop, they look at what they did wrong, they fix what needs to be fixed, and get better. and they don't go on ****ing idiotic rants like this, but that's beside the point. i lose, i look at what i did wrong, i try to fix what needs to be fixed, and i still get my ass beat. i just don't know what to do. when ever i ask someone for help, they lways say the same thing: "just play more, everyone started at square one, just gotta work in the lab, just gotta read more guides, jsut gotta watch more videos of pros, just gotta git gud", but it's all ****ing hopeless. i'm a lost ****ing cause. I've tried everything, and i jsut dn't know why the **** i even bother getting out of bed for this ****ing game. it's so much comfier in there, i might as well just go back to what i was doing before the 3Ds demo came out. I've been at this gaem for 6 ****ing months, and i haven't gotten any better. and i know: i'm being a whiny little ***** who needs to calm the **** down, and take abreak. well, i already tried taking a break, and it didn't help at all. in fact, i got worse from lack of practice. i don't want to be a ****ing master at this game, i just want to not be horrenodus. i've only been playing any smash game for 6 months, of course i'm not gonna be top of the line, best player in the world, mvg 20xx whatever. but i want to not suck, and it seems like no matter hard i try, no matter how much time and effort i put into this game, that will never happen. i will always suck, and i swear to ****ing god i should just give up now before i get even more worked up over this tiny, insignificant little thing because i'm a worthless, whiny, insignificant little sack of **** who's ****ing crying real, ****ty tears because of a ****ing video game. a fukcing video game. i'm ****ing pathetic.
i'm sorry for doing this, you don't have to respond, i just wanted to type this and put this somewhere. i'm sorry if this is annoying, or if this is the worng place to put this. please don't hate me.
This is my daily schedule on weekdays: Wake up, go to school, come home, take a nap/play D&D (depends on day), and then spend about 4-6 hours playing Sm4sh, reading about my main, watching matches, guides, practicing tech in training, fighting people on Smash Ladder, etc. On weekends, take out go to school and replace it with more Sm4sh practice. On monday's, I don't play Sm4sh as a way to rest, and also because I have other arrangements. On Thursdays, I used to go to a weekly local, where some of the best players in Cincinnati would practice, along with some newer guys (I've stopped going recently, though, due to reasons you'll understand in a second). In case it isn't obvious, I spend a lot of time practicing. However, I've realized something: it is entirely ****ing worthless
I suck. I suck donkeyballs. I spend so much god damn time on this ****ing game, but i still suck. i've ****ing wasted my time, tried so hard, done so much, put so much of my soul into this game, but i still ****ing suck. my match history on anther's ladder is ****ing atrocious. only reason i ever have wins on there is if someone is tryint out a character for the first time. other than that, i ahve my ass handed to me over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and oever and over and i just don't know waht the **** i'm doing wrong why can't this just be the one ****ing thing i'm good at in my life jesus ****ing christ i hate myself so godadman much because i can't get over ****ing losing at a video game, but no matter what i do, not matter how much i ****ing practice, i just prove to myself time and ****ing time again that i'm a worthless sack of **** who doesn't deserve to live so much as play this game i ****ing hate myself so goddamn much, i'm suck at this game so goddamn much and i can't get any ****ing better. id on't know what else to try now, cause it's all worthless. i've tried playing defensively, rusdown, thinking more, thinking less, wanting to win with all my heart, not caring in the slightest, and no matter what i just suck more than a hoover vacuum cleaner. when most people lose, they stop, they look at what they did wrong, they fix what needs to be fixed, and get better. and they don't go on ****ing idiotic rants like this, but that's beside the point. i lose, i look at what i did wrong, i try to fix what needs to be fixed, and i still get my ass beat. i just don't know what to do. when ever i ask someone for help, they lways say the same thing: "just play more, everyone started at square one, just gotta work in the lab, just gotta read more guides, jsut gotta watch more videos of pros, just gotta git gud", but it's all ****ing hopeless. i'm a lost ****ing cause. I've tried everything, and i jsut dn't know why the **** i even bother getting out of bed for this ****ing game. it's so much comfier in there, i might as well just go back to what i was doing before the 3Ds demo came out. I've been at this gaem for 6 ****ing months, and i haven't gotten any better. and i know: i'm being a whiny little ***** who needs to calm the **** down, and take abreak. well, i already tried taking a break, and it didn't help at all. in fact, i got worse from lack of practice. i don't want to be a ****ing master at this game, i just want to not be horrenodus. i've only been playing any smash game for 6 months, of course i'm not gonna be top of the line, best player in the world, mvg 20xx whatever. but i want to not suck, and it seems like no matter hard i try, no matter how much time and effort i put into this game, that will never happen. i will always suck, and i swear to ****ing god i should just give up now before i get even more worked up over this tiny, insignificant little thing because i'm a worthless, whiny, insignificant little sack of **** who's ****ing crying real, ****ty tears because of a ****ing video game. a fukcing video game. i'm ****ing pathetic.
i'm sorry for doing this, you don't have to respond, i just wanted to type this and put this somewhere. i'm sorry if this is annoying, or if this is the worng place to put this. please don't hate me.
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