A Poem

[Melo-tone]

Sitting alone in my warm white walled room
It is such a sight to see
Trying to find my self identity
Writing these words upon a blank sheet
Feeling the melody, finding a beat

Words with no meaning
Wandering harmlessly into my ear
Calming me, soothing out all fear
Call it the same, call it lame
Yet one day it will bring me fame

Lines and dots, of black and white
Bringing together what some call music
The trick is to read it, learn to use it
Anything around you can be used
As long as you have the mind to get it mused

Coming together to form a goal
To entertain the people of the world
And help children’s minds to mold
Mold into a style to call ones own
An inner personality never needs to be shown

Music is all around my soul’s room
Quite hard to keep down once it starts
Music lies in tandem with the beats of our hearts
Following true to what one has been and is
To be with each persons life until Deaths kiss


The last stanza isn't very good unfortunately... I did this poem for my English class.
Feel free to critique.

 

[demoncaterpie]

The most important thing in a poem is subtility. Don't bluntly state the point of your poem.

I can deffinitely see that you like music, but it doesn't show in your poem. It's all too corny and too blunt.

The one thing I did like was the stanza structure. ABBCC was a pretty interesting choice, so you get props for that.

 

[Melo-tone]

The most important thing in a poem is subtility. Don't bluntly state the point of your poem.

I can deffinitely see that you like music, but it doesn't show in your poem. It's all too corny and too blunt.

The one thing I did like was the stanza structure. ABBCC was a pretty interesting choice, so you get props for that.

lol. yes it is corny and blunt, but hey. School is school, and my English teacher is not the brightest.

 

[demoncaterpie]

Whatever works for you.

 

[Akebo]

Seriously...it wasn't that good. I never like when people state the topic in the poem.