Funniest John(s) You've Ever Heard?

[hungrybox]

My rice could have used more soy sauce today

too much sodium tho

 

[ICbombers]

"All you do is attack me!"

 

[Yoshi'stheBombers7]

"All you do is attack me!"

Wow, I wonder who does that...

 

[Luck-NYC/NJ]

"wait i havent sucked your pen!s yet, i cant win before i suck ur D!ck"

 

[Binx]

"wait i havent sucked your pen!s yet, i cant win before i suck ur D!ck"

My GF 4 stocked me 11 times in a row with that one.

 

[Eggm]

"I Was only four stocked, because my controller port was in # 2 and my opponents was in # 4, and before go went away i was shine spiked, because he started on the platform above me" LOL. you had to be there.

Controller port johns are top tier.

 

[Typo_Brawler]

" My nose iched"
" The stage was all movieng!"
" I don`t practus as much as you!"
"You keep rolling behind me! You cheep!"

 

[FalconPunch]

There's ****ing two of them. >_>

OOh, and while I double shine-->edgehog my friend, he gets pissed and is like: "That's ******** cheap!!! You could of got up faster." and the other one is like "Do they allow that at tournaments???" I LOL in my mind all day.

 

[Amon Amarth]

"If this where (insert game) I would pwn you."

 

[WFL]

"I Was only four stocked, because my controller port was in # 2 and my opponents was in # 4, and before go went away i was shine spiked, because he started on the platform above me" LOL. you had to be there.

Controller port johns are OMG 1337 God Pichu tier H4xx0r2.

Fix'd.

"The only reason I lost was because this controller doesn't work and I can't roll, side step, or smash without the c-stick"

Even though the controller didn't work, No Johns scrub B.Y.O.C.

 

[ICbombers]

Wow, I wonder who does that...

You do.....

 

[Sandwich]

"I would've had this match if you had items on."

 

[Nasanieru]

I hear these all to often at my bi-weeklies XD


"I would beat you all the time I just die a stupid death every time! (Fox illusion off stage)"

"This controller lags! It doesn't respond when I want it to!!"

"The knee is too fast!"

"Stop attacking me!!"

"Stop your opportunist kills!!!!"

"Turnips are too cheap!!"

"You only win because your character uses a sword!"

"My minds spinning! I feel like I'm on crack..."

"Marth is too cheap against Fox"

"(gets 4 stocked) I would have won if you got hit by my warlock punch!"

"STOP ****** ME!!!!!!!!! (Ganondorf Up-B)"

 

[Irow]

"You're so lucky I suck."

 

[Dylan_Tnga]

"Play me in tournament"

LOL

 

[iMichael]

"wait til Brawl comes out"

"weak a** game*

"play me in Marvel vs. Capcom"

 

[Hypocrisy]

"no fair you go to church, you obviously have jesus on your side."

 

[Endless Nightmares]

*airdodges off the stage*

"Well I wanted to wavedash, but my Gamecube didn't agree with me." - 56K

 

[Timat the Slayer]

"I only win cause I play Sheik"

- Me

 

[xeno]

"My C-stick's broken". Heard that from multiple people, #including myself ironically, at consecutive meets CAUSE THE **** THING DIDNT WORK!

 

[Psychoace]

"My pen!s doesn't work"

 

[orintemple]

"no fair you go to church, you obviously have jesus on your side."

LOL thats the best john ever.

There is this guy I know who claims

"I hate this game, I just play it out of habit"

 

[SiD]

(After losing to a black guy)

"Dam affirmative action."

 

[xeno]

"You only won because of mindgames. I hope you know that they're a glitch."

Is that real??

 

[Irow]

Yes, it was a real john I heard. I kept on alternating between dash dancing and wavedashes. Got like 10 tippers on that match.

In fact, it was at a tournament. Haha, scrubs.

If your thinking that mindgames are a glitch... Yes, yes they are...

 

[Psychoace]

(After losing to a black guy)

"Dam affirmative action."

Same could be said for mine....

 

[Yoshi'stheBombers7]

No fair, Yoshi's so cheap...
IT"S A YOSHI!!!!!! What do you THINK I'm going to be to win with that guy?!?!?!?!?!

 

[SirroMinus1]

"You aint beat me the stage beat me."

Lol my friend said this about two years ago. and we make fun of him till this day.

 

[Dark Iori Yagami]

johns do make the world go round.

 

[Irow]

"You didn't beat me. I beat myself."

 

[Midboss]

"I wouldn't have lost if you didn't suck so much."

...referring to Kirbycide.

 

[ThreeX]

"doesn't your finger ever get cramped from all those lasering?" <-- coming from a friend that plays as fox and gets annoyed by my shl XDDD

 

[Xanthyr]

"Fountain of Dreams blows because it's all slippery because of the water. I would've won if it weren't for the stage." - Referring to a massive beatdown that had been administered to his Young Link.

 

[Lesheik]

Brawl is coming out
Ken quit
You go on Smashboards too much

 

[Urb]

Hmmmm....
"You unplugged my controller!"
"Psshhhh...I killed myself those first two times to give you a handicap. Worked, didn't it?"
"Maybe if you didn't keep dodging I would have hit you!"
"I did a little wave-dash and my character got stuck in the stage somehow, allowing for cheap kills!"
"I didn't grab onto the edge like I should have! This game is glitching!"

 

[Dark Iori Yagami]

"My lcanceling is terible how do you do it so fast."
"There is some way to beat you i just haven't figured it out yet."
"I didn't use all my b moves"

 

[Micheloxx]

It doesn't matter if you beat my Marth with Samus, Samus is banned from tournaments anyway.

its a lie isnt it?

 

[Rang Flash]

I have carpel tunnel syndrome!

 

[Geist]

i love it when they say " at least I have a life."
i dont even have a GC or wii anymore.

my personal favorite has to be
"aw man my arthritis is acting up again"
or
"you're only winning because its a bad matchup."

 

[BrandonOwnageking]

"i havent played in like a week" lol