Brawl gets Two Star review

[rampant_apart]

(**Note: The score of this game, which is “two stars (out of four)” has been decided with much scientific thought. The rampant and somewhat embarrassing Nintendo fetishism discussed at forensic lengths in this review is responsible for the game being docked six stars, bringing it to a negative two stars (out of four) on our scale; the fact that I have played this game for several hours every day since its release with a gaggle of dudes who just don’t give a **** about Luigi’s canonical significance, and I have not yet gotten bored of it, adds four stars to the score, bringing it up to a positive two stars (out of four). So there you have it.)

That basically sounds like, "I've enjoyed this game like a four star game.

BUT.

I'm going to take six stars off, because fans of Nintendo will like it, and that's a bad thing."

Pardon me if I don't accept this as "scientific thought."

 

[Flaminglink]

who visits this looser site lol that guy thinks he works for a good company and needs to be shot for complete stupidity.

 

[Flaminglink]

who visits this looser site lol that guy thinks he works for a good company and needs to be shot for complete stupidity.

 

[OddCrow]

I HONESTLY don't think that guy even played the game. He just likes being a biased-******** and making stuff up for "controversy"...Guess why none of the comments disagree with him...go on now, guess. BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL IDIOTS (OR) HE DELETES THE ONES LIKE THAT...both of those options are sad, but true, don't give this guy the time of day...or hack his site and put gay porn or s/t on it. Because when you can give OBVIOUSLY GREAT games terrible scores, you must not be a video game fan...I wouldn't trust Jack Thompson to write a review for any game...just like I wouldn't trust this guy to be able to pull a blue marble out of a bag of blue marbles...he would somehow find a way to pull a red one because he hates blue.
(/end fence of text)

 

[brawlmaniac]

I HONESTLY don't think that guy even played the game. He just likes being a biased-******** and making stuff up for "controversy"...Guess why none of the comments disagree with him...go on now, guess. BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL IDIOTS (OR) HE DELETES THE ONES LIKE THAT...both of those options are sad, but true, don't give this guy the time of day...or hack his site and put gay porn or s/t on it. Because when you can give OBVIOUSLY GREAT games terrible scores, you must not be a video game fan...I wouldn't trust Jack Thompson to write a review for any game...just like I wouldn't trust this guy to be able to pull a blue marble out of a bag of blue marbles...he would somehow find a way to pull a red one because he hates blue.


Very good post. You should put some of that "stuff" on his site.

 

[tMoC]

relax this same guy gave....
FF 12 (2 out of 4)
God of War 2 (0 out of 4)
Legend of Zelda-Twilight Princess(1 out of 4)
Metal Gear Solid (1 out of 4)
Super Mario Galaxy (2 1/2 out of 4)
Elder Scrolls IV (1/2 out of 4)
Wii Sports (1 out of 4)
Castlevania-SotN (2 out of 4)

not sayin he's biased or anythin...but are we really gonna measure this opinion vs others who say that the above listed games are groundbreaking (hell even gamespot gave twilight princess the equivalent of a 3 out of 4)

Those scores are from the same site, but not all are from the same reviewer. The multiple reviewers on actionbutton.net don’t pretend to all share the same views.

Tim Rogers, who wrote the SSBX review, writes for other sites as well. He gave Twilight Princess 3.5 stars, not 1. He did not review God of War 2 or MGS or Castlevania SotN. He gave FF12 Revenant Wings 2 stars, but the original FF12 4 stars.

I’ve read lots of his essays and reviews. I don’t think he dislikes Nintendo. SMB 3, Mother 2, and Mother 3 are among his favourite games, he likes the Zelda franchise, and he likes Miyamoto.

He uses half-star ratings and gives some games no stars, so his ratings are kinda out of 9, not 4. Besides, plenty of critics of movies, plays, restaurants, etc use ratings out of 4; it’s just uncommon in the gaming world.

To reiterate: He acknowledges the SSBX multiplayer as addictive and fun, when he briefly mentions it. Most of his criticism is levelled toward the SSE and music.

And yes, Tim Rogers is trying to rile us up with this review.

 

[CallistoNTG]

That was a long, boring, and completely dry piece of pretentious faux-comedy. Jesus, please leave the mostly-negative video game ranting to Yahtzee. He's good at it.

Not Maddox. He doesn't specialize in games. He's cool too, though.

 

[Saor Gael]

LOL! He should be commended for writing the worst review, of anything, ever. 95% of what he wrote was pure drivel, entirely off topic, and made absolutely no sense. Homeless hobos have more literary skill.

The run-on sentence at the end of one of the first paragraphs was PRICELESS.

Even he admits, between silly tirades, that he can't stop playing it. In denial much? Also, to go and dock points from it for being a Nintendo fanboy's dream is like docking points off Call of Duty 4 for realistically portraying modern weapons.

 

[Legendaryhero]

i tried to read the first paragraph but had to stop because i was laughing too hard... He was just jacking himself off the entire review making himself sound like some god of videogames... i hope its a joke site otherwise he's just a moron

 

[illphil]

That guy was probably someone from this board. I've never seen so much unnecessary criticism before I came here.

 

[Saor Gael]

That guy was probably someone from this board. I've never seen so much unnecessary criticism before I came here.

Agreed, about this forum.

 

[naevorc]

Who the hell is this lol. If you read his review you can see his bs pretty easily. But really, wtf? Never heard of this guy before, and most likely will never again.

 

[CrazyShaman]

Somehow, I managed to get through that review. Worst mistake I have made in recent memory. That trash doesn't deserver to be called a review. Only like 1 paragraph about stuff of the game, and the way he talked about the gameplay, you'd think he would ignore the nonessential parts, and talk about the part that matters. Whatever, that site seems blatantly biased against Nintendo, and has no quality to it. PS. If nobody noted this (wrote it on the bottom of the 3rd page), he's been copying some of the replies in this thread.

 

[Burumage]

What I find funny is how the review is so horribly written, yet all the replies are all "great review as always" or something.

I pity the one who hates nintendo enough to read this garbage >.>

 

[Layupfreak]

the guy who reviwed it sucked badly

 

[Tabris-]

I was wondering how you lot would react to this.

I can imagine the amount of site this site has generated from that review as well.

 

[soviet prince]

very bad, read 1 and a half paragraph and stopped ot was just boring and biased.

 

[Ekaru]

I found the review hilarious after I realized it wasn't to take seriously. xD I have the feeling he made the site as a joke, just to piss people who took it seriously off.

Guys, just don't take it seriously, because honestly, if anything is NOT to be taken seriously, it's this site. xD Gosh, it's just...xD

 

[Tiamat475]

lol so your saying he is smart?

Haha, woops. You know what I mean.

 

[_Slick_]

*sigh*

...

*SIGH*

 

[SirPainsalot]

He's just a attention-seeking troll. End of story.

 

[lengeta]

Wow... no bias in that review. None.

 

[HenryMartinez]

This site has been around for a little while, they're infamous for giving good games terrible scores with incredibly unprofessional reviews. It's a gimmick site. They do it for the attention from threads like this.

He needs the attention because quite frankly, his whole life has boiled down to making ******** reviews so he can feel special. Take this away, and this kid commits suicide.

YOUR REVIEW HAS FAILED.

 

[cingman]

BORRRING review! if u want to call that garabage a reveiw

 

[thespoiler]

That review is all over the place. Nothing is organized. It's like he typed whatever he thought about, and his ideas changed for every sentence. It's so drawn-out that I skipped every other paragraph due to the intense ache inside of my head.

I give his review a one out of four stars.

 

[Sky_Maro]

I want to place my hands around his throat tightly and shake vigorously.

 

[heywoah]

Just dropping by to say that threatening physical harm and throwing HAAATTTEEE at a man you've never met before who, by all means, could be a completely decent person over how he scored a VIDEO GAME you've HAVEN'T EVEN PLAYED YET is pretty, well, funny!


And a few others have already stated it here, but you all are the reason Tim Rogers exists. He loves stuff like this. We all do! Please, keep going!


(On a side note, those of you who have been using other actionbutton reviews as evidence towards Tim's FETISHISM of DISLIKIN' GAMES: he does not write all the reviews on the site. So, uh, lol.)

 

[gamer8]

And you get a 2 star rated thread!

 

[MzNetta]

It was well written, but sadly, the writer let his hideous bias impare his judgement.
The word of a (negatively or positively) biased man is worth less than the word of a neutral man.
I'm wondering why he even bothered to write this...

 

[Libomasus]

This guy thinks more critical about video games then you guys can even imagine to about your last lunch. Whatever biases people think he has are probably true anyways.

 

[ElementSun]

I was reading the first paragraph and went "wtf, is he even talking about Brawl?"

sounds more like a review for the Wii than the game.

 

[RedrappeR]

I'm going to wait till people realize there's ANOTHER critic review on the site, on the front page even... and that calls the game the best game of all time. This one literally just takes the template of that and parodies it.

I'm also going to wait for people to realize that this isn't an official, or big source. He's ****ing with you. Stop falling for it.

 

[Mr.L]

I skim through it and the conclusion is that this website is a smallfry and no one should take it seriously. That person must be really lonely...oh well.

 

[Ekul]

From what I've read, he's basically a guy who wants to be the angry video game nerd, but only plays popular games.

 

[GKirby]

Honestly, I couldn't care less about his review. But his ignorant attitude is what is bugging me.

 

[Best101]

How many of you get what this guy is saying?
Better question is, how many of you can actually read that?

 

[Santini]

Ugh, that was painful, and I only read the beginning.

You can tell by the writing that guy thinks he's just SO smart... idiot.

 

[Chaosblade77]

From what I've read, he's basically a guy who wants to be the angry video game nerd, but only plays popular games.

Wow, I totally forgot about that. Angry Video Game Nerd is amazing XD

 

[=Samus-Aran=]

Sounds and looks like this guy can't be satisfied with the best games out there by looking at his other reviews.

=S-A=

 

[BudDudandSlash]

I'm no one to tell somebody that they have a bad opinion of something, so his 2 out of 4 review is perfectly fine in my mind. The problems lie in the writings themselves. For one, he needs to learn to size down his thoughts into an easier to swallow form. There's just way too much written here, and a lot of it goes nowhere. Also, I saw the 4 out of 4 altered review (just headers and the final sentence are changed), but a real reviewer should be able to stick by his/her original argument, even though I understand this second article was purely set as a joke. That's a waste of focus while he does littlt to convince nay-sayers of his own opinion.