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Brawl gets Two Star review
- Thread starter TiRo
- Start date
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If you read the end of the review you would know that he was being sarcastic with the score. 2 out of 4 means he wanted to give the game a 6, a -2 left over or something.
Either way, I agreed with him until the controller part. Then I skimmed the rest.
Either way, I agreed with him until the controller part. Then I skimmed the rest.
Ice Ninja
Smash Cadet
He probably never even played it. In fact the screenshot he posted is just a dojo screenshot with no colour. Probably just some random guy who couldn't make a game 0.000000000001% as good as Brawl.
Banjodorf
Dynamic Duo
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2007
- Messages
- 8,455
- NNID
- bluefalcon27
- 3DS FC
- 2105-8715-5493
This guy is obviously biased against Nintendo. Dont pay any attention to his reviews, as they will be nothing but utter nonsense.
Who rates on a scale of 4? LOL
sigh... theres no hope for some people I suppose, eh?
Who rates on a scale of 4? LOL
sigh... theres no hope for some people I suppose, eh?
Tiamat475
Smash Journeyman
- Joined
- Nov 10, 2007
- Messages
- 293
It's just 10x as bad as those random youtube people who post comments saying "Super Smash Brothers SUCKS!" and give it a 1 star out of 5. Seriously, he's just AS BAD as any other Anti-Nintendo freak. I didn't even dare look at the review. Already I can assume the level of stupidity of this guy is outstanding. Don't give your attention to this guy, leave him to rot in his so called "Professional reviewing site" and he'll be forgotten.
And All those other games he gave a rating = full of BS
Edit: Small error, thanks ThePUNK for pointing it out.
And All those other games he gave a rating = full of BS
Edit: Small error, thanks ThePUNK for pointing it out.
Super Drybones
Smash Ace
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2008
- Messages
- 555
He's just trying to be a man i'm sure his wife beats him at night
Spyda
Smash Journeyman
Worst read ever.
OK Simon wanna be!
He is trying a little to hard to be the Simon Cowell of game critics. Trying to say that everything is "utterly dreadful" but he knows deep down that it is a good game. pay no attention to this critic. I give this critic a 0 out of 4.
He is trying a little to hard to be the Simon Cowell of game critics. Trying to say that everything is "utterly dreadful" but he knows deep down that it is a good game. pay no attention to this critic. I give this critic a 0 out of 4.
blackaneseboy07
Smash Rookie
famitsu's 40/40 is convincing enough to me
IWontGetOverTheDam
Smash Lord
Wow. That is so horribly written I can't even read it.
lol so your saying he is smart?
Crooked Crow
drank from lakes of sorrow
- Joined
- Jun 11, 2007
- Messages
- 2,248
i'm sorry but somebody needs to slap him really hard =/
Anth0ny
Smash Master
He pretty much uses "good writings skills" to rip on every good game in existance.
Crap.
Crap.
leprechaunlink727
Smash Ace
Any journalist, who in all caps, type "CAUCASIAN *****" smack-dab in the mdiddle of his article is instantly discredited in my book. Regardless of the context.
"the fact that I have played this game for several hours every day since its release with a gaggle of dudes who just don’t give a **** about Luigi’s canonical significance, and I have not yet gotten bored of it, adds four stars to the score"
Apparently a guy who writes in the forms of "essays" and doesn't entirely like everything about the game can't give any good insight at all.
He actually brought up some good points about music and story. Hes also right.
EDIT: You know what, forget it. Have fun sending bitter hate mail to some random dude on the internets.
Ebonyks
Smash Apprentice
I like the fact that he managed to namedrop 29 videogames, 2 tv shows, multiple movies, websites, and even a fast food reference. Gloating on your level social awareness is the key to all great reviews, no doubt. I'd scream troll, but there's no way a troll would go through this much effort.
tl;dr
I got a few sentences in but lost interest when he attempted to prove his intellectual superiority by using advanced and convoluted vocabulary(and subsequently failing by misspelling most of it) and realized that despite all of his attempts to prove to his readers that he's a "real gamer" it should be noticed that any "real gamer" knows something about video games. He regurgitated some words that he had heard about the old smash games, slapped on the word "Brawl" and pretended he had written a review.
I got a few sentences in but lost interest when he attempted to prove his intellectual superiority by using advanced and convoluted vocabulary(and subsequently failing by misspelling most of it) and realized that despite all of his attempts to prove to his readers that he's a "real gamer" it should be noticed that any "real gamer" knows something about video games. He regurgitated some words that he had heard about the old smash games, slapped on the word "Brawl" and pretended he had written a review.
DeuceBlade
Smash Champion
What the hell is actionbutton.net LAWLLLL
japtar10101
Smash Apprentice
Woah, Woah, Seriously!!??
Oh....I guess you're right.
But that seriously wasn't funny.
LinkSpecialist
Smash Ace
For thoses who don't feel like reading the article...
...in the article it reads.
(After a pointless amount of paragraphs.)
"At any rate, here’s Super Smash Bros. Brawl, the biggest little dollop of gruel yet slopped on the lunch tray of gamerkind."
"as I started to get tired of control quirks (like how hard your character snap-grabs a ledge over and over again when you’re trying to drop down), my optimism and patience wore to nanomachine thinness."
"Some of the battles are satisfying, I suppose; the little animation when you kill an opponent in the deathmatch mode is fine-tuned to be satisfying, to be your motivation to kill more opponents."
"Smash Bros. X was beyond the point of making perfect sense. "
"Seriously, not a single person whose hands I’ve plopped a Classic Controller into has not, immediately at the start of a match, pressed the D-pad to try to move, and instead initiated one taunt after another, after another, after another."
"All it takes to die on these stages is to be knocked off, and out of sight. All of the friends I’ve played this game with have just shrugged and said “That’s how it was in some of the stages of Super Smash Bros. Melee, dude!” Oh? I suppose, in Nintendo’s case, that makes it alright to just do over and over again."
"I swear that your damage meter will be at less than 80%, and some b******d like Ice Climber Kid will come up and whomp you with a hammer and you’ll just fly out into the background and “die”. What the hell is up with that?"
"After a certain amount of single-player practice, I was getting to like the regular rules — try to get someone to fall off the edge, line up a brilliant smash attack to hit them just after they do their save move and before they touch the ground (so as to leave them helplessly flying, since they can only do the save once per flight). And then I start playing against people, and I’m on an FPS-worthy Killing Spree, and I’m barely getting touched, and then the game just throws me off into the distance after a random hit. What the hell is up with that?"
"Smash Bros. X emerges by default as the Best Game Starring Sonic the Hedgehog Since the Mega Drive Days."
"The recent-Smash Bros.-like Jump Superstars proved that Jump manga characters actually are cooler-looking than Nintendo characters. It’s enough to make you wonder."
All in all, we have ourselves a videogame noob. For futher lame details, go ahead and read the article.
(Of course I know this guy is joking.)
...in the article it reads.
(After a pointless amount of paragraphs.)
"At any rate, here’s Super Smash Bros. Brawl, the biggest little dollop of gruel yet slopped on the lunch tray of gamerkind."
"as I started to get tired of control quirks (like how hard your character snap-grabs a ledge over and over again when you’re trying to drop down), my optimism and patience wore to nanomachine thinness."
"Some of the battles are satisfying, I suppose; the little animation when you kill an opponent in the deathmatch mode is fine-tuned to be satisfying, to be your motivation to kill more opponents."
"Smash Bros. X was beyond the point of making perfect sense. "
"Seriously, not a single person whose hands I’ve plopped a Classic Controller into has not, immediately at the start of a match, pressed the D-pad to try to move, and instead initiated one taunt after another, after another, after another."
"All it takes to die on these stages is to be knocked off, and out of sight. All of the friends I’ve played this game with have just shrugged and said “That’s how it was in some of the stages of Super Smash Bros. Melee, dude!” Oh? I suppose, in Nintendo’s case, that makes it alright to just do over and over again."
"I swear that your damage meter will be at less than 80%, and some b******d like Ice Climber Kid will come up and whomp you with a hammer and you’ll just fly out into the background and “die”. What the hell is up with that?"
"After a certain amount of single-player practice, I was getting to like the regular rules — try to get someone to fall off the edge, line up a brilliant smash attack to hit them just after they do their save move and before they touch the ground (so as to leave them helplessly flying, since they can only do the save once per flight). And then I start playing against people, and I’m on an FPS-worthy Killing Spree, and I’m barely getting touched, and then the game just throws me off into the distance after a random hit. What the hell is up with that?"
"Smash Bros. X emerges by default as the Best Game Starring Sonic the Hedgehog Since the Mega Drive Days."
"The recent-Smash Bros.-like Jump Superstars proved that Jump manga characters actually are cooler-looking than Nintendo characters. It’s enough to make you wonder."
All in all, we have ourselves a videogame noob. For futher lame details, go ahead and read the article.
(Of course I know this guy is joking.)
KernelColonel
Smash Journeyman
Tl;dr. Seriously, I know it's a game review, but...****, it's so god****ed long and almost none of it happens to be about the game.
There were too many parentheses, so it was hard to comprehend before I exited. The boy writes terribly. The boy plays games terribly.
There were too many parentheses, so it was hard to comprehend before I exited. The boy writes terribly. The boy plays games terribly.
SSJ4Kazuki
Smash Champion
spindash
Smash Ace
tl;dr
Aren't I just a prick? He can go die in a pit of fire. kthxdie.
Aren't I just a prick? He can go die in a pit of fire. kthxdie.
Dubyah8r
Smash Journeyman
Will some one please tell me that guy was joking... if not I have lost all faith in humanity...
TCs first post is this? suspicious...anyways..
the writer also wrote this
"# 108 Says:
February 20th, 2008 at 10:56 pm
yeah — as stated above, i subtract six stars from this game for the fetishism and the story; i add two stars for the overall snap and crunch of playing it against dudes who just don’t give a **** about what characters are what.
it’s a heck of a little game!
i’m getting more hate mail than even i expected. i really want people to know that, two stars though it may be, this is a game i’ve been playing literally every day with friend-dudes for almost a month and i’m still not bored!"
the writer also wrote this
"# 108 Says:
February 20th, 2008 at 10:56 pm
yeah — as stated above, i subtract six stars from this game for the fetishism and the story; i add two stars for the overall snap and crunch of playing it against dudes who just don’t give a **** about what characters are what.
it’s a heck of a little game!
i’m getting more hate mail than even i expected. i really want people to know that, two stars though it may be, this is a game i’ve been playing literally every day with friend-dudes for almost a month and i’m still not bored!"
HenshinHero
Smash Apprentice
He probably did it just to cause an uproar for Smash fans and already hated Nintendo going in with a biased view in the first place. So who cares if he did hate it? All it matters is what you think of game.
PrettyGoodYear
Smash Lord
He probably did it to attract traffic. I didn't even check the site.
Honestly, tell me why this guys matters? Huh? Huh?
...
That's what I thought. Ring me up when you have a review that matters (good luck finding one)
Honestly, tell me why this guys matters? Huh? Huh?
...
That's what I thought. Ring me up when you have a review that matters (good luck finding one)
brawlmaniac
Smash Lord
Well it's his opinion after all. It's pretty funny though that his opinion won't matter as much as IGN's or GameInformer's =p.
Scicky
Smash Journeyman
- Joined
- Feb 7, 2008
- Messages
- 263
The hell, first of all, that website made my eyes bleed, second, that review was ****, maybe
he should try playing it competitively then passing it off as "just a party game" T_T, third
maybe, in a review about smash bros brawl, a few more then half of your paragraphs
should actually BE about brawl... y'know, just a suggestion...
he should try playing it competitively then passing it off as "just a party game" T_T, third
maybe, in a review about smash bros brawl, a few more then half of your paragraphs
should actually BE about brawl... y'know, just a suggestion...
Much too long for me to complete, but of the sections that I did read out, his observations really didn't have a lot of credibility. Saying something like "MGS4 Love Theme sounds too much like Pirates of the Carribean Theme and that sucks" wouldn't qualify one as a good reviewer >___>.
My guess is also that he's just after some traffic or trying to sound off on the Maddox/Zero Punctuation bandwagon.
My guess is also that he's just after some traffic or trying to sound off on the Maddox/Zero Punctuation bandwagon.
He writes a column in Gamestm magazine. Quite a reputable publication really.
Although there are many parts in his review, that being a fan of most things Nintendo I personally disagree with. However, I understand where he is coming from. And if you actually read through the review he states clearly that he is still playing this game weeks on and really enjoying it because it is actually a great game.
His review scoring system really should be taken with a pinch of salt, you only have to look at some of the others to realise this.
It's his personal opinion of the game, not so much for its technical achievements but for its overall artistic form. And for someone who so obviously has grown sick of the site of various Nintendo characters and franchises it makes perfect sense that he would feel this way about Smash Bros. which is in itself a celebration and medley of all things Nintendo.
And quite honestly, this guy is overly critical (which is not necessarily a bad thing) and if you take this into account a 2 stars out of 4 actually translates as a really good game.
Demon Kirby
Smash Champion
Saying "who cares"after 6 (I use 20 posts per page) page thread is kinda . . . eh.
Illmatic
Smash Rookie
Never heard of the site or the guy, so I dont care what he says.
Chaosblade77
Smash Lord
- Joined
- Nov 1, 2007
- Messages
- 1,958
I've never read a worse-written review than that. Over half the review, he was not even discussing the game, and the first paragraph contained the longest, most ridiculous run-on sentence I have ever read.
If the guy wants to be taken seriously, he needs to learn how to write. Once he has that down, he needs to learn how to review a game. Some of the things he admitted to in the comments were rather ridiculous; he first says he dislikes Nintendo as a whole, then admits he took off most of the points simply because the game is comprised of Nintendo references and characters...
If the guy wants to be taken seriously, he needs to learn how to write. Once he has that down, he needs to learn how to review a game. Some of the things he admitted to in the comments were rather ridiculous; he first says he dislikes Nintendo as a whole, then admits he took off most of the points simply because the game is comprised of Nintendo references and characters...
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