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WWYP XII: A Tale of Interest (3,046 words)

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KrazyGlue

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I'm guessing the deadline will be extended, but just in case it isn't, I'll enter my story now. So without further adieu:


The Analogy


“Auurrggghhh…” Louis woke up. He had fallen asleep in an awkward position, and now there were marks and cuts all over his back from the wire in his cage. He found his water bucket and cleaned out a few of his wounds. Alice and Tommy were still sleeping peacefully. Louis looked out at the night sky. After all the years in this hellish cage, he was now able to tell about what time it was by the position of the moon in the sky. It was still too early for their captors to be awake. He tried to remember how long he had been in this cage, and went over his schemes to escape again. The plans and his family were the only things that kept him sane. He couldn’t quite recall the month or day, but he knew the year was about 2100, give or take a few. He remembered in 2082, when he was 23, reading the morning paper.

“Aliens land on earth!” the headline had proclaimed. Relations had been tenuous at best. Then, the aliens decided to take over. They were only interested in colonizing the planet. The humans put of a solid fight, but these aliens were roughly 20 feet tall, and overpowered the humans within a couple of years. And then they all got dumped in these cages. Louis had been surprised at first when the first humans were hauled away to nearby factories. It had become a regular occurrence by now. There were all sorts of rumors about what was happening in those factories, but there was no proof of any of them, so Louis tuned them out.

There was, however, one curious and gruesome clue that Louis hid from his captors. He pulled it out to look at it; he had been constantly trying to figure out its meaning ever since he had received it. It was a note written in blood on a sheet of paper. A person named Ali, who had been a few cells away, had been taken to the factories just weeks ago. However, just hours after he had been hauled away, Ali somehow broke free from the factory. Louis remembered vividly how the Arabian man had been sprinting towards them, bleeding from his left side, with a look of pure terror in his eyes. He raced in front of Louis’ cell, for what reason Louis figured he would never know, and started writing in his own blood on a sheet of paper he had stolen from the factories. Just as he finished, he was shot from behind in the head, splattering blood on part of the page and blurring out half of his writings. He was dragged off, but the note went unnoticed, and Louis had picked it up. Now, he looked at it again. It read: “Man : Alien :: [blood spatter]”. He knew it was an analogy, and it was the key to figuring out the purpose of the factories.

“Daddy?” Louis stuffed the note in his pocket.

“Go to sleep, Tommy. It’s too early to be up.” Louis said.

“Mommy is bleeding”, Tommy whispered. Sure enough, Alice had cuts on her arm as well.

“It’s ok. We’ll do something about it in the morning.”

“Good night daddy,” mumbled Tommy, already drifting back into sleep. Louis figured he should get some rest as well, and soon fell asleep.


******************​


Several hours later, Louis awoke to a commotion. The boy in the cage next to Louis’, Pat, had been diseased for a long time, and the aliens had started to take notice. Disease flourished throughout the cages, as there was no way to escape it, nor a way to cure yourself once you were sick. And when the aliens took notice, it was never a good thing. They were inspecting his tongue and eyes, and holding him still while he squirmed. After some chatter in their language, they dragged Pat away, kicking and screaming, to the factories. “You can’t take me! Get off!” he punched one of his captors to avail. He was sobbing uncontrollably. Louis tried to shield Tommy, but he knew the boy had seen and heard all that had happened. Pat was only a year or two older than Tommy, maybe about 8-10 years old, and had been his only friend. Tommy was sobbing now too. Louis just stared out at the factory, the place which nobody ever came back from. This had happened many times before, and would happen many times again. And he knew his family would soon be taken to the factory as well, as the aliens had just removed the people two cells away yesterday. Two more days before they were to go to the factory, never to return.

Now Louis noticed several more aliens were coming by, and it was the daily feeding time. The aliens knew some people would try to starve themselves to escape this hell. So, the humans were forced to eat. The aliens came by his cage, and inserted a tube in Tommy’s mouth, pushing it down until it was in his throat. Tommy had learned not to resist by now. The aliens flipped a switch on a machine that the tube was connected to. A faint whirring sound started. Tommy closed his eyes. A second later, the whirring grew to a roar, and glop started shooting out of the tube and straight down Tommy’s throat. A few seconds later, the machine shut off automatically, and the aliens removed the tube. Tommy gasped and choked for air, his face red and eyes bloodshot. The process was repeated for Louis and Alice, leaving all three of them coughing and panting. A few hours later, the people from the cell to their right were removed. A typical day, but Louis knew it was their last before they were taken to the factory.

Louis rehearsed his plan to escape in his head. When the aliens came to take them to the factory, he would throw his water bucket at one of their faces, distracting them, he would use the time to steal their weapon, which he had memorized as being holstered on their left abdominal area. He would take the weapon and shoot the three aliens dead. He would run away with his family before help arrived. The hardest part would be not going back and helping the other caged humans, but he could only worry about his own family. He would take them to Portland, Maine, where it is rumored that there is a colony of humans hiding underground. He would complete the analogy there, and give the humans information on what the factories were doing. It would be difficult, since the huge feeding portions combined with the small cage space had made Louis obese and unable to exercise. The plan was certainly a long shot, but he knew it was better than nothing. With that in mind he drifted off to sleep.

But Louis could not sleep long. He awoke several hours later to hear his wife coughing horribly. Tommy was awakened as well. Suddenly, Alice began vomiting blood. Louis knew she had contracted Ebola, a prevalent disease spreading throughout the cages. “Mommy!” Tommy yelled, running towards his mom. But Louis, weeping, held him back. Alice could not be saved, and he didn’t want Tommy to have the disease as well. He sobbed and struggled against Louis for a while, but eventually gave up. He ran out of energy and watched his mother until he fell asleep. Louis tried to sleep as well, but he couldn’t.

“I’m sorry, Alice,” he said. “I’m sorry.” Alice seemed as though she wanted to say something, but she was too weak. Louis wanted to go comfort her, as any good husband should. But he knew that would be illogical. He just stared. He had been hardened by years and years of cell life, but this was particularly difficult for him to swallow. He had become cold and calculating, but was feeling his first major emotions in months, if not years. He eventually drifted off to sleep almost at dawn.


******************​


Louis was woken up several hours later by Tommy. The aliens had carried away Alice while they had been asleep, but there was still blood everywhere. The aliens were coming by, forcing food into people’s mouths, and they would soon be coming to Louis’ cage. He knew that once they were done feeding the humans, they would stop back by the cage and start taking them to the factory, at which point he had to plan his attack. The aliens stopped by and fed Louis and Tommy, then moved on. The factory loomed ominously in the distance. Adrenaline pumped through Louis’ veins as he prepared for his escape plan.

But Tommy didn’t seem to be concerned with the factory at the moment. He was staring at a piece of paper. “Tommy, do NOT look at that,” Louis yelled, angry that the bloody paper had fallen out of his pocket. But he saw something in the bright sunny light. He had never brought out the analogy in daylight before, because he was afraid Tommy, or worse, the aliens would see the paper. But now that he looked at it in the light, he could make out another word in the analogy! It read: “Man : Alien :: Animal : [blood]”. Animal? That didn’t seem to make sense. But before he could think more about it, the aliens stopped by his cage. They appeared to be confirming with each other that it was indeed Louis and Tommy’s turn to be taken away. Louis stuffed the analogy in his pocket and got in a ready position.

The cage door opened. Louis quickly grabbed the bucket of water and flung it in an aliens face, stunning it. He reached for the alien’s weapon, but just as he was about to grab it, the other alien kicked him violently in the face. Louis fell to the ground, barely conscious. He was sure the alien’s powerful blow had broken his nose. He watched as Tommy tried to run away, but he too had grown obese, and the aliens quickly chased him down and grabbed him. Louis knew he was doomed to die in the factory, and blacked out.


******************​


Louis woke up in what appeared to be a holding room. He looked around, seeing Tommy and two doors on opposite sides of the room. He banged on both doors to see if he could break them, but everything in the room was made of metal and he could have no effect on it. He sunk helplessly to the floor and held his son. A few hours later, one of the doors opened. Several aliens took Louis and Tommy into yet another room. But this room appeared to be a… kitchen? He looked around and saw several pots and pans; two in particular were on a stove-like contraption and contained boiling water. They were large enough to contain humans.

And suddenly, something clicked in Louis. Mentally, he completed the analogy. He knew the last word. It was man. Man : Alien :: Animal : Man. Man was simply a tool for aliens to eat. They were mistreated, tortured, and doomed to live a pointless life until they were eventually slaughtered for meat. They were kept in painful wire cages that cut their feet and backs. They were forced to eat, often giving them horrible stomach pain because they were stuffed full of food until they were fat and plump for the aliens. They were assumed to be stupid and not have feelings because they don’t speak the language of their captors.

But Louis moment of thinking was cut short. The aliens pulled Tommy out of Louis’ arms. “NO!” he yelled. He leapt forward, but an alien slammed him back down.

“Daaaadddyyy!” Tommy yelled. The aliens tied him up so he wouldn’t squirm.

“NO! NOOO! **** YOU! GET! OFF!!!” Louis screamed. But he was stuck. The aliens, indifferent to the commotion, picked Tommy up. The moment seemed to be moving so slowly for Louis. He was seeing his son for the last time. Then, slowly, so as not to spill their precious water, the aliens laid Tommy in one of the pots on the stove. Tommy screamed horribly, and Louis closed his eyes, not wanting to see his son being subjected to this torment. But he couldn’t drown out the sound.

Then, in a fit of pure rage, Louis shoved the alien holding him back with all his might, and the alien crashed into the other pot on the stove. The boiling water was flung out in a spray, hitting all three aliens as well as Louis. But Louis was in a state of pure, animalistic rage, and ignored the pain. One of the aliens was stumbling around, grabbing its burned face. Louis grabbed the alien’s weapon out of its holster, shooting his three captors.

Louis realized Tommy was still alive in the pot. He reached in, burning his hands, to lift Tommy out. But he had grown weak and unfit in all his years in the cage, and his adrenaline rush had run out. As much as he tried, he couldn’t lift his son. Tommy screamed, still holding on to life. But Louis had no way to get him out, and had to escape before more aliens came. He knew what he had to do. Shooting Tommy would end his torture. He raised the weapon and aimed. But looking at his son, his only son, Louis couldn’t fire. He cried out in anguish, then ran out of the room.

Louis reentered the holding room. He fired his weapon at the door, which burned a hole in it. Louis jumped through and limped down a hallway, starting to feel the pain of his burns. Faced with a decision to turn left or right, Louis went left, and it turned out to be the correct way. He pushed open a door, and was out in daylight. Finally free. He ran away from the area, taking one last look back at the rows of cages. There were many more than he had first realized; there were thousands upon thousands of them, he reckoned. Louis ran as fast as he could away from the area, feeling adrenaline again. He ran to a nearby rest stop, and hid in an old Wendy’s store. He decided to rest there for the night. He struggled to lay down in a way that least aggravated his burns, then fell into a troubled sleep.


******************​


Louis awakened in the morning. The feeling of loss had finally sunk in. Alice had suffered all night, and then had probably been slaughtered and thrown away, since her meat would have been contaminated. Tommy had been tortured and killed, and now was going to be meat for some alien family. Louis couldn’t summon up the motivation to do anything. He sat in the Wendy’s all day and thought. Just thought.


******************​


The next day, Louis awoke with a new spirit. He knew he was one of the few free men, and he was a key to human survival. He had completed the analogy. He needed to recount all his experiences. He decided to travel to Portland, about 2 miles north if he recalled correctly, and find a Staples or Office Depot that would have a pen to write his experiences down. He would then take the document to the underground colony. “Of course,” he mumbled to himself, “I don’t even know if this colony exists. It’s just some rumor. It’s probably a bunch of crap. But I need to check anyway. “

It took him almost 2 hours to limp the 2 miles, as he was injured and out of shape. He knew he had to be on the lookout for more human farms, but didn’t see any along the way. He stopped in a Staples store and rested for the night. He spent the next day writing up his account of the events and gathering water from an old McDonalds.

Eventually, the day came when Louis was ready to journey to the rumored underground colony. It was apparently dug under a Wal-Mart, and he saw one up the street, so he decided to go check it out. Holding his account in his hand, he walked into the Wal-Mart. He didn’t see anything at first, but eventually noticed a part of the floor looked slightly different. Upon moving closer, he realized there was, in fact, a large hole in the floor which had been carefully covered and disguised. He uncovered the hole. Louis felt a pang of excitement. The colony was real! He had reached it!

The door to the Wal-Mart opened. Louis jumped, startled, and turned around. Two aliens stood there, one of whom had a large wound and a burn mark. They both fired, hitting Louis in the head, killing him instantly. The two aliens decided there was no point in bringing his corpse back, so they left him there.


******************​


Greg, the watchman, had hacked into the Wal-Mart security cameras years ago, giving him vision of the entire store. The man who had limped towards the hole had clearly been a farm survivor: he was obese and had been badly injured, most likely in a struggle with the aliens. And then the poor man had been shot right when he was about to escape into the colony. Greg waited until nighttime, when he knew the aliens slept, and crept out of the hole. He looked around to see if he could find anything of interest. He saw a piece of paper, with what appeared to be an account of farm life written on it! This was invaluable information! He felt something on the back of the page too. He flipped it over, and realized with horror that it was blood. Something was written on it: “Man : Alien :: Animal : ”… but he couldn’t make out the last word; there was blood over it. But on closer inspection, the last word had been scribbled in. It was man. Greg, finally realizing what the aliens were using humans for, folded the paper and put it in his pocket. He carried the note down into the Portland Colony.
 

Jam Stunna

Writer of Fortune
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Hey, I just finished your story, and I have to say that you have a really great concept. It fits the prompt and works just as well to deliver a message that we can relate to in real life. Good stuff.

I would suggest using the deadline extension to give this story more artistry. It reads in a really straight forward, almost newspaper style now. For example,

Louis realized Tommy was still alive in the pot.
It gets the message across, but not in an entertaining way. A big part of being a storyteller is making boring stuff sound interesting. Something like this will add more emotion:

"Daddy, help me!" Tommy pleaded from behind him.
Corny, yes, but it reads more like a story and less like a magazine article. I really like your story, just polish it up and you'll be a shoo-in for first place.
 

KrazyGlue

Smash Champion
Joined
Feb 23, 2009
Messages
2,302
Location
Northern Virginia
Wow, thanks Jam! Yeah, I was also worried it sounded a bit like you described: a news article. But thanks for the constructive criticism; I'll see if I can tinker with it before the deadline a bit. :)
 
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