½NIÇK½FBM
Smash Apprentice
I have to admit, i'm actually very proud of myself for this fine piece of garbage since I have only written a paper longer than a 1,000 words in my life one other time. Plus I did it all in one day. The story is not based on true events. Although I guess something like it could have happen. The only thing real in the story is the name of the college I used in the beggining. I'll probably edit this or add more to it later, espicially the ending. But for now....
It had been only about three months since I first met who I was going to be rooming with when I would attend Oglethorpe University. He lived very close to the campus so he knew where everything was in the area, which is a handy bit of knowledge to have when you go to a college located in one of the biggest cities in the US. Although he often went back home to visit his family since he was so close which left me feeling lonely, and homesick. But he had more than just street-smart. I didn’t have any classes with him, but I had heard he was blowing through almost all of his classes, with a solid 4.1 average. He even offered me help with most of my studying or papers that I always put off until the last second. Troy and I got along just fine as roommates. And our suitemates weren’t to bad either. They weren’t complete slobs, they never stole things from our room, and were easy to get along with as well. But out of all of them, my roommate Troy was the last person I would expect to take pure vengeance upon me.
After three months, I actually felt like I had actually gotten used to the college life down flat, with the help from Troy of course. My study habits weren’t as common as they should have been, but other than that, things became easier. It felt like chores that I never had to take responsibility for had become routine. Every weekday I would wake up at 9:30 and go to class at 10:00 until 11:30, sometimes 12. Monday was laundry day. Thursday was the day Troy and I cleaned our room, sometimes our suitemates room if they paid us. Saturday actually had two important purposes. It was not only college game day, but shopping day, so all of us could stock up on food and drinks for the all the college football games.
This Saturday was me and Troy’s turn to go shopping for everything, seeing how our suite of four always split the money. We grabbed the usual. Chips, dip, different drinks, paper towels, and some other items for hygiene such as soap and toothpaste. One of our suitemates, Mark, lent us his car to take to the grocery store and back to campus.
As we were walking up to our dorm, we saw Alex, our other suitemate, come walking out of the building, looking somewhat annoyed by something. “I have to go to the mall and find a birthday present for my mom,” he stated. “I forgot it’s in three days.”
“Oh that’s cool. Don’t do it tomorrow and not miss all the games, just do the exact opposite.” I replied, kidding.
“I’ll be back in like, 30 minutes. Mark is still up there.”
Me and Troy entered our room to see Mark watching a game on the TV in our half of the suite.
“Hey hey! What’s up my brothers! USC is losing to Vanderbilt by 7.” Mark said as he got up from my bed.
“Dang it. USC is doing terrible this season.” Troy said.
Troy was a huge Southern Cal fan. He said that he has always rooted for them since he was a kid. I don’t see how he his possibly related to them in anyway though.
Mark started unloading all the grocery bags of goods when I decided to go over and do it myself before he started to hog all the chips. We unloaded soda, lunch meat, chips, but for some reason the more I unloaded the stranger I kept feeling. Then with only one bag left, I found out what it was. My knuckles turned white and my hands began to sweat. I got goose bumps on my arms and my eyes widened for a split second before I tried to make them look neutral before Mark or Troy saw me.
I forgot to get the cheese-wiz.
Cheese-wiz hardly sounds like a privilege to some people, but in this place, it’s nothing short of a necessity. Cheese-wiz can go with anything. Sandwiches, hot dogs, milkshakes. Going to long without it can lead to serious problems for Alex, Mark, and myself. I used my sub par stealth skills to sneak over to the miniature fridge to see how much cheese-wiz was left in the old container. About half empty. Not nearly enough to hold me and Mark off for even one day. But I couldn’t afford to miss the Georgia versus Alabama game. Troy wouldn’t leave the USC game either even though they were losing to Vanderbilt, and Mark is just plain lazy.
There was only one thing I could do. I would have to take the cheese-wiz to a different place where I could watch the game and have it all for myself.
“Here let me get that last bag,” I said, trying to prevent Mark from looking in it and also realizing that there was no cheese-wiz. “Go keep track of the game”.
“Just let me get a water bottle out of the fridge real quick.”
I raced over to the fridge and tossed him one before he could make his way there before me. This was going to be a very precise operation I would have to pull off. But I had an idea. I grabbed a paper bag that was from the grocery store and pretend to fill it up with trash. USC scored a touchdown which had Troy and Mark completely unaware of what was going on in the room. I took the cheese-wiz and stuffed it into the phony trash bag. I was about to take the bag out of the room and make my escape but Mark couldn’t leave me alone.
“Hey can I see that bag for a quick a sec?”
“What do you need it for?” I replied, praying for him to just shut up.
“I got to go pick up some stuff in my room.”
The next thing I did was easily the most idiotic thing I have ever done in my life. I guess I was afraid to make it look to suspicious, but why didn’t I just walk right out the door?
I handed him the bag and he went to the other half of the suite into his room when I heard him say in confusion:
“What the hell is this doing in here?”
I didn’t express my feelings visually for Troy’s sake, but inside I felt like yelling until my voice gave out.
Mark came walking out of the hallway holding the can of cheese-wiz.
“Dude. Were you trying to steal this?” he asked rhetorically.
“Oh how did that get in there?” I tried to let out a small chuckle but the atmosphere was too tense for me to laugh.
“It’s still half full you know.”
“It’s half empty.” I said.
“It’s cheese-wiz. It’s freaking gross.” Troy added, but nobody heard him.
“You were trying to take this weren’t you.”
“Maybe I was. I probably was.”
“This cheese-wiz stays here.” he declared.
Then it was on.
I rushed straight towards him. I had no sane thoughts going through my head at that moment and really didn’t care what happened. I just wanted that cheese-wiz. I threw myself right into him, knocking the cheese-wiz out of his hand in the action.
“Wow you guys are lame.” said Troy, turning up the TV.
Me and Mark rolled over several times when he broke free and stood up. He spotted the can immediately and tried to get to it but I held onto his foot and tripped him. I proceeded to get up and grab the cheese-wiz and tried to run right out the door when I felt something hit the back of my head.
“Dude don’t throw the remote I’m trying to watch the game here!”
“I don’t care Troy shut up.” Mark said.
I was still busy contemplating what just hit me but before I knew it Mark had a hold of my arm and actually bit me. It wasn’t like the pain was extremely unbearable but I had just gotten hit by a TV remote, and now somebody just bit me, so I dropped the cheese-wiz to the ground.
Then something took me AND Mark off-guard. Troy, the witty, usually calm roommate, came over and punched both me and Mark, square in our faces. But this actually hurt. I don’t think neither Mark, Alex, nor myself knew that Troy packed such a punch.
Troy, grasping the cheese-wiz firmly in his hand, held it out in front of him and said, “You guys are the dumbest people, in the world. It’s a bottle of cheese-wiz! Learn to eat food without it!”
Then, right before our eyes, Mark and I watched in horror as Troy completely drained the half empty bottle of cheese-wiz………all over the room. He sprayed it on all of our beds, the fridge, even the TV, and to finish it all off, he drenched me and Mark in it too. I saw Troy at an all time crazy that day. The entire suite was ruined and I had to go to the clinic and get bandages wrapped around my arm. Mark had a couple a bruises, and Troy was generally pissed off for a week. Alex’s face when he saw what happened was priceless. The moral of the story is, don’t trust your roommates.
Rage
It had been only about three months since I first met who I was going to be rooming with when I would attend Oglethorpe University. He lived very close to the campus so he knew where everything was in the area, which is a handy bit of knowledge to have when you go to a college located in one of the biggest cities in the US. Although he often went back home to visit his family since he was so close which left me feeling lonely, and homesick. But he had more than just street-smart. I didn’t have any classes with him, but I had heard he was blowing through almost all of his classes, with a solid 4.1 average. He even offered me help with most of my studying or papers that I always put off until the last second. Troy and I got along just fine as roommates. And our suitemates weren’t to bad either. They weren’t complete slobs, they never stole things from our room, and were easy to get along with as well. But out of all of them, my roommate Troy was the last person I would expect to take pure vengeance upon me.
After three months, I actually felt like I had actually gotten used to the college life down flat, with the help from Troy of course. My study habits weren’t as common as they should have been, but other than that, things became easier. It felt like chores that I never had to take responsibility for had become routine. Every weekday I would wake up at 9:30 and go to class at 10:00 until 11:30, sometimes 12. Monday was laundry day. Thursday was the day Troy and I cleaned our room, sometimes our suitemates room if they paid us. Saturday actually had two important purposes. It was not only college game day, but shopping day, so all of us could stock up on food and drinks for the all the college football games.
This Saturday was me and Troy’s turn to go shopping for everything, seeing how our suite of four always split the money. We grabbed the usual. Chips, dip, different drinks, paper towels, and some other items for hygiene such as soap and toothpaste. One of our suitemates, Mark, lent us his car to take to the grocery store and back to campus.
As we were walking up to our dorm, we saw Alex, our other suitemate, come walking out of the building, looking somewhat annoyed by something. “I have to go to the mall and find a birthday present for my mom,” he stated. “I forgot it’s in three days.”
“Oh that’s cool. Don’t do it tomorrow and not miss all the games, just do the exact opposite.” I replied, kidding.
“I’ll be back in like, 30 minutes. Mark is still up there.”
Me and Troy entered our room to see Mark watching a game on the TV in our half of the suite.
“Hey hey! What’s up my brothers! USC is losing to Vanderbilt by 7.” Mark said as he got up from my bed.
“Dang it. USC is doing terrible this season.” Troy said.
Troy was a huge Southern Cal fan. He said that he has always rooted for them since he was a kid. I don’t see how he his possibly related to them in anyway though.
Mark started unloading all the grocery bags of goods when I decided to go over and do it myself before he started to hog all the chips. We unloaded soda, lunch meat, chips, but for some reason the more I unloaded the stranger I kept feeling. Then with only one bag left, I found out what it was. My knuckles turned white and my hands began to sweat. I got goose bumps on my arms and my eyes widened for a split second before I tried to make them look neutral before Mark or Troy saw me.
I forgot to get the cheese-wiz.
Cheese-wiz hardly sounds like a privilege to some people, but in this place, it’s nothing short of a necessity. Cheese-wiz can go with anything. Sandwiches, hot dogs, milkshakes. Going to long without it can lead to serious problems for Alex, Mark, and myself. I used my sub par stealth skills to sneak over to the miniature fridge to see how much cheese-wiz was left in the old container. About half empty. Not nearly enough to hold me and Mark off for even one day. But I couldn’t afford to miss the Georgia versus Alabama game. Troy wouldn’t leave the USC game either even though they were losing to Vanderbilt, and Mark is just plain lazy.
There was only one thing I could do. I would have to take the cheese-wiz to a different place where I could watch the game and have it all for myself.
“Here let me get that last bag,” I said, trying to prevent Mark from looking in it and also realizing that there was no cheese-wiz. “Go keep track of the game”.
“Just let me get a water bottle out of the fridge real quick.”
I raced over to the fridge and tossed him one before he could make his way there before me. This was going to be a very precise operation I would have to pull off. But I had an idea. I grabbed a paper bag that was from the grocery store and pretend to fill it up with trash. USC scored a touchdown which had Troy and Mark completely unaware of what was going on in the room. I took the cheese-wiz and stuffed it into the phony trash bag. I was about to take the bag out of the room and make my escape but Mark couldn’t leave me alone.
“Hey can I see that bag for a quick a sec?”
“What do you need it for?” I replied, praying for him to just shut up.
“I got to go pick up some stuff in my room.”
The next thing I did was easily the most idiotic thing I have ever done in my life. I guess I was afraid to make it look to suspicious, but why didn’t I just walk right out the door?
I handed him the bag and he went to the other half of the suite into his room when I heard him say in confusion:
“What the hell is this doing in here?”
I didn’t express my feelings visually for Troy’s sake, but inside I felt like yelling until my voice gave out.
Mark came walking out of the hallway holding the can of cheese-wiz.
“Dude. Were you trying to steal this?” he asked rhetorically.
“Oh how did that get in there?” I tried to let out a small chuckle but the atmosphere was too tense for me to laugh.
“It’s still half full you know.”
“It’s half empty.” I said.
“It’s cheese-wiz. It’s freaking gross.” Troy added, but nobody heard him.
“You were trying to take this weren’t you.”
“Maybe I was. I probably was.”
“This cheese-wiz stays here.” he declared.
Then it was on.
I rushed straight towards him. I had no sane thoughts going through my head at that moment and really didn’t care what happened. I just wanted that cheese-wiz. I threw myself right into him, knocking the cheese-wiz out of his hand in the action.
“Wow you guys are lame.” said Troy, turning up the TV.
Me and Mark rolled over several times when he broke free and stood up. He spotted the can immediately and tried to get to it but I held onto his foot and tripped him. I proceeded to get up and grab the cheese-wiz and tried to run right out the door when I felt something hit the back of my head.
“Dude don’t throw the remote I’m trying to watch the game here!”
“I don’t care Troy shut up.” Mark said.
I was still busy contemplating what just hit me but before I knew it Mark had a hold of my arm and actually bit me. It wasn’t like the pain was extremely unbearable but I had just gotten hit by a TV remote, and now somebody just bit me, so I dropped the cheese-wiz to the ground.
Then something took me AND Mark off-guard. Troy, the witty, usually calm roommate, came over and punched both me and Mark, square in our faces. But this actually hurt. I don’t think neither Mark, Alex, nor myself knew that Troy packed such a punch.
Troy, grasping the cheese-wiz firmly in his hand, held it out in front of him and said, “You guys are the dumbest people, in the world. It’s a bottle of cheese-wiz! Learn to eat food without it!”
Then, right before our eyes, Mark and I watched in horror as Troy completely drained the half empty bottle of cheese-wiz………all over the room. He sprayed it on all of our beds, the fridge, even the TV, and to finish it all off, he drenched me and Mark in it too. I saw Troy at an all time crazy that day. The entire suite was ruined and I had to go to the clinic and get bandages wrapped around my arm. Mark had a couple a bruises, and Troy was generally pissed off for a week. Alex’s face when he saw what happened was priceless. The moral of the story is, don’t trust your roommates.
