Alphicans
Smash Hero
Well, I can't say this is the greatest of stories, but I feel good about it. Writing in omniscient point of view is very difficult I found. Not being able to refer to the characters thoughts proved to be a challenge, and that's what I wanted. Sorry for the lame title, but it's fitting, not just because it has guns in it.
Criticisms are always appreciated, but I doubt I'll change anything. I'll be busy enough with other stuff. Wish me luck!
* * * * * * * * * * *
As the sun peeked up above the horizon, his alarm rang. He was up all last night, sitting on his bed, hands covering his face and back hunched over. It is common for people to do that, but for two hours straight? Whatever he was thinking about was serious. When he got up, it was automatic; first he shut off his alarm, and got out of his bed and stood on his floor. He had to have been standing there for at least ten minutes before he went to his dusty old dresser to put on some clothes. Just a simple grey T-shirt, some black sweat pants, white socks and his mesh cap. The room he was in was not stellar by any means, pretty simple really. He had a single sized bed right in the middle of the room, a small-ish dresser at the foot of the bed, a computer tucked away in the back left corner and the door to exit the room was to the right of the bed, perpendicular. The rest of his apartment followed the same suit; no structure and simplistic. After putting on his clothes he dragged himself over to his computer desk, and stared deeply into the cabinet that was attached to it. Then after a few seconds of staring he opened it, and took out a gun. Like his room, the gun was simple in design and did not look very expensive, maybe even from a thrift store, but a gun nonetheless. He inspected the gun closely, and when he was done he said, with great satisfaction,” Fully loaded."
The time was definitely early, six o' clock at the latest, and that is when he decided to venture out. Outside it was warm with very little wind and very relaxed. The sun was barely shining through the clouds, creating rips of orange on the side walk. The apartment was located in a fairly nice part of town; a quiet neighbourhood, which housed upper-middle class type people. "A beautiful day," is what he whispered to himself, and with that he tucked his gun in the back of his pants, and proceeded down to the main road just one or two blocks away.
Not many people were outside, only the early birds; the people who like to jog in the morning or walk their dogs. He passed by one jogger and two people walking their dog together, and gave them all very cheerful smiles, not overly cheerful however, and they returned the smile with a, "hello." He appeared to be a very non-sinister looking man, who looked to be no younger than twenty-five, but yet he had his gun on him, and for some reason was thrilled by the fact it was fully loaded. How could he not know that it was fully loaded? Did he just get the gun last night? Or did someone drop it off at his apartment? The look on his face was fierce. His eyes were wide, and his face was rigid, he had a look of "there is something to be done today."
In no time he was at the main strip of the town, Whyte ave. Shops were just opening up, and people were in a sleepy hustle. A slight, grim, smile appeared on his face at the sight of the working people. "Hmmm..." He mumbled to himself. He caught the eye of the owner of the ice cream parlour. He had his pink and white striped apron on, a small white hat, jeans and just a basic pair of shoes, a very ordinary looking man. At the sight of the man he took out his gun and lined him up for a shot. "Bang," he said softly to himself, and put the gun quickly back into his pants, and continued his morning stroll. The morning followed a similar pattern, he would line random people up for a shot and then whisper to himself, "bang," and then just continue walking. It was not until around one thirty did he finally change up his routine. He caught sight of a beautiful woman getting out of her car. Her skin tone was a pale cream, with wavy long black hair (clearly looked dyed), hazel eyes and was wearing a very plain outfit. The second he saw her he reacted with unsettling swiftness. He followed her diligently, until he found an opening to an alley way, and then pounced on her with great agility and sneakily dragged her into the alley way when no one was around. He kept one hand over her mouth, to muffle the screaming, assumingly, and with the other held the gun to her head so she would co-operate. "WHAT THE **** DO YOU WANT?" She yelled. This really surprised him, for the expression on his face was very amusing, he obviously expected her to be pleading for her life, which is the reasonable thing to be doing at a time like this. He did not answer though, but instead took this gun away from her head, and then got into point blank range, and pointed the gun directly at her. Now the look on her face was different, she was scared. She may have underestimated his full intentions, and was now almost at the point of crying, but yet kept her composure. His expression had also changed, but into something a lot more cynical. And then within seconds seven shots were fired. The sound was excruciatingly loud, especially from up close, and the woman just stood there petrified, mouth open but with no sound being generated, as if frozen in time. "Looks like I missed," he said in a sarcastic tone, "...One shot left," he said to himself. Then he started to count down: "five, four, three..." And with that, out of pure instinct, she bolted out of the alley way as fast as humanly possible. "Two, one... Ready or not here I come!" He roared, and proceeded to casually walk out of the alley way.
He carefully examined the route she was taking, and luckily for him there were not many people outside right now; lunch had already finished and it was time to get back to work. Luck seemed to be in his favour again, because the woman, for some reason, ran towards the scummy part of town, where chasing someone with a gun was in the daily schedule. This choice of direction made him laugh with confusion, but looked delighted that his hunt was going to be a lot easier. The clouds were gone, and the sky was clear, so it was easy to keep an eye on the woman’s shimmering black hair amidst the poor folk, she was like a diamond among coal. At the sight of a man running with a gun, people did look twice before getting out of the way and minding their own business. The woman was on her cell phone, and was screaming into it, then she looked back to see where he was, and when she saw that he was only about ten feet behind her, lining her up for a shot, she gave a final shout into her phone, hung up, and began to smile. Of course he did not see her smile and followed her into the alley way behind the stripper bar. “This is where it ends,” he grunted to himself. However, to his surprise, the alley way was not deserted; there was a man there with the woman now, and the look his face was not a nice one.
“What the hell do you think you are doing? Chasing my dancer? Were you planning to kill her? That would have been a mistake, believe me. What are you looking at now? I’d put that gun done if I were you, you don’t know what you are doing.” The man’s warnings did not seem to discourage him; the look on his face was still as fierce as ever.
“Move please,” he politely said to the man
“What the ****? Move please?” The man responded while taking out his very own gun. This one, however, looked a lot more modern and dangerous than his gun, which put a look of worry on his face, but the fierceness in his eyes remained constant.
“Please. I said move,” he persisted. But apparently the time given was not sufficient, for he did not wait for him to move, and took his final shot, which barely whizzed past the man’s face, and hit the brick wall behind them, dropping harmlessly. And with that, he was like a sheep to slaughter. The man took his gun, took careful aim, and... BANG! One shot in the chest. The little red dot spread, drenching his shirt... BANG! Another one in the chest. The fierceness in his eyes lingered until his last breath, and at the time of death that fierceness was gone, and his dead body looked just as pathetic as his gun.
“Crazy son of a *****, huh? Nearly killed us both. Good Riddance” The man said while breathing heavily.
“A stupid man really. Scared the **** out of me.” The woman concluded.
“Your shift starts in twenty minutes. Go get ready. Time is money... Hurry!” The man approached the dead body and gave a snort. “Idiot.” Then he took the body and threw it into a near by dumpster, for the rats to discover.
Criticisms are always appreciated, but I doubt I'll change anything. I'll be busy enough with other stuff. Wish me luck!
* * * * * * * * * * *
As the sun peeked up above the horizon, his alarm rang. He was up all last night, sitting on his bed, hands covering his face and back hunched over. It is common for people to do that, but for two hours straight? Whatever he was thinking about was serious. When he got up, it was automatic; first he shut off his alarm, and got out of his bed and stood on his floor. He had to have been standing there for at least ten minutes before he went to his dusty old dresser to put on some clothes. Just a simple grey T-shirt, some black sweat pants, white socks and his mesh cap. The room he was in was not stellar by any means, pretty simple really. He had a single sized bed right in the middle of the room, a small-ish dresser at the foot of the bed, a computer tucked away in the back left corner and the door to exit the room was to the right of the bed, perpendicular. The rest of his apartment followed the same suit; no structure and simplistic. After putting on his clothes he dragged himself over to his computer desk, and stared deeply into the cabinet that was attached to it. Then after a few seconds of staring he opened it, and took out a gun. Like his room, the gun was simple in design and did not look very expensive, maybe even from a thrift store, but a gun nonetheless. He inspected the gun closely, and when he was done he said, with great satisfaction,” Fully loaded."
The time was definitely early, six o' clock at the latest, and that is when he decided to venture out. Outside it was warm with very little wind and very relaxed. The sun was barely shining through the clouds, creating rips of orange on the side walk. The apartment was located in a fairly nice part of town; a quiet neighbourhood, which housed upper-middle class type people. "A beautiful day," is what he whispered to himself, and with that he tucked his gun in the back of his pants, and proceeded down to the main road just one or two blocks away.
Not many people were outside, only the early birds; the people who like to jog in the morning or walk their dogs. He passed by one jogger and two people walking their dog together, and gave them all very cheerful smiles, not overly cheerful however, and they returned the smile with a, "hello." He appeared to be a very non-sinister looking man, who looked to be no younger than twenty-five, but yet he had his gun on him, and for some reason was thrilled by the fact it was fully loaded. How could he not know that it was fully loaded? Did he just get the gun last night? Or did someone drop it off at his apartment? The look on his face was fierce. His eyes were wide, and his face was rigid, he had a look of "there is something to be done today."
In no time he was at the main strip of the town, Whyte ave. Shops were just opening up, and people were in a sleepy hustle. A slight, grim, smile appeared on his face at the sight of the working people. "Hmmm..." He mumbled to himself. He caught the eye of the owner of the ice cream parlour. He had his pink and white striped apron on, a small white hat, jeans and just a basic pair of shoes, a very ordinary looking man. At the sight of the man he took out his gun and lined him up for a shot. "Bang," he said softly to himself, and put the gun quickly back into his pants, and continued his morning stroll. The morning followed a similar pattern, he would line random people up for a shot and then whisper to himself, "bang," and then just continue walking. It was not until around one thirty did he finally change up his routine. He caught sight of a beautiful woman getting out of her car. Her skin tone was a pale cream, with wavy long black hair (clearly looked dyed), hazel eyes and was wearing a very plain outfit. The second he saw her he reacted with unsettling swiftness. He followed her diligently, until he found an opening to an alley way, and then pounced on her with great agility and sneakily dragged her into the alley way when no one was around. He kept one hand over her mouth, to muffle the screaming, assumingly, and with the other held the gun to her head so she would co-operate. "WHAT THE **** DO YOU WANT?" She yelled. This really surprised him, for the expression on his face was very amusing, he obviously expected her to be pleading for her life, which is the reasonable thing to be doing at a time like this. He did not answer though, but instead took this gun away from her head, and then got into point blank range, and pointed the gun directly at her. Now the look on her face was different, she was scared. She may have underestimated his full intentions, and was now almost at the point of crying, but yet kept her composure. His expression had also changed, but into something a lot more cynical. And then within seconds seven shots were fired. The sound was excruciatingly loud, especially from up close, and the woman just stood there petrified, mouth open but with no sound being generated, as if frozen in time. "Looks like I missed," he said in a sarcastic tone, "...One shot left," he said to himself. Then he started to count down: "five, four, three..." And with that, out of pure instinct, she bolted out of the alley way as fast as humanly possible. "Two, one... Ready or not here I come!" He roared, and proceeded to casually walk out of the alley way.
He carefully examined the route she was taking, and luckily for him there were not many people outside right now; lunch had already finished and it was time to get back to work. Luck seemed to be in his favour again, because the woman, for some reason, ran towards the scummy part of town, where chasing someone with a gun was in the daily schedule. This choice of direction made him laugh with confusion, but looked delighted that his hunt was going to be a lot easier. The clouds were gone, and the sky was clear, so it was easy to keep an eye on the woman’s shimmering black hair amidst the poor folk, she was like a diamond among coal. At the sight of a man running with a gun, people did look twice before getting out of the way and minding their own business. The woman was on her cell phone, and was screaming into it, then she looked back to see where he was, and when she saw that he was only about ten feet behind her, lining her up for a shot, she gave a final shout into her phone, hung up, and began to smile. Of course he did not see her smile and followed her into the alley way behind the stripper bar. “This is where it ends,” he grunted to himself. However, to his surprise, the alley way was not deserted; there was a man there with the woman now, and the look his face was not a nice one.
“What the hell do you think you are doing? Chasing my dancer? Were you planning to kill her? That would have been a mistake, believe me. What are you looking at now? I’d put that gun done if I were you, you don’t know what you are doing.” The man’s warnings did not seem to discourage him; the look on his face was still as fierce as ever.
“Move please,” he politely said to the man
“What the ****? Move please?” The man responded while taking out his very own gun. This one, however, looked a lot more modern and dangerous than his gun, which put a look of worry on his face, but the fierceness in his eyes remained constant.
“Please. I said move,” he persisted. But apparently the time given was not sufficient, for he did not wait for him to move, and took his final shot, which barely whizzed past the man’s face, and hit the brick wall behind them, dropping harmlessly. And with that, he was like a sheep to slaughter. The man took his gun, took careful aim, and... BANG! One shot in the chest. The little red dot spread, drenching his shirt... BANG! Another one in the chest. The fierceness in his eyes lingered until his last breath, and at the time of death that fierceness was gone, and his dead body looked just as pathetic as his gun.
“Crazy son of a *****, huh? Nearly killed us both. Good Riddance” The man said while breathing heavily.
“A stupid man really. Scared the **** out of me.” The woman concluded.
“Your shift starts in twenty minutes. Go get ready. Time is money... Hurry!” The man approached the dead body and gave a snort. “Idiot.” Then he took the body and threw it into a near by dumpster, for the rats to discover.