Link to original post: [drupal=1039]Why I Strongly Dislike Kids/Babies/Toddelers =D[/drupal]
I'll try to make this not as bad as a rant, but more like...a story I guess.
We all know how we came to existence, or at least I would hope. But, why, why, do we humans have to go through this phase known as 'childhood' and 'babies'? Why can't we pop out and be 18 years old? That may be a very...disturbing to some, but you could skip the whole process of annoying people!
Ok, so here. Imagine. You have a wife/husband, and you just recieved word that you/she is pregant! Yay...right? No, this is no yaying matter, in approximatly 9 months an undeveloped, immature, wet, and screaming life form will come out of you/your wife! If that isn't terrifying enough, you have to feed the thing, clean up its waste (since it luckily has no bladder or stomach control) and heck, even pat the monstrosity on its back to 'burp' it. It's also a creative way it must be fed, as it looks like a metroid sucking the life force from its mother. It's like a pet from hell, it wants to be near you when you don't want it, and it doesn't want you near it when you actually are crazy enough to approach the beast. You somehow tough out a few months or maybe even a year and the atrocious thing learns to mobilize itself. This brings a whole new set of problems, you have to block doors, stairs, and fool-proof the most fool-proof items in the house. Life is not good, and you can't do anything but just live with it. Eventually, the vile creature learns how to form words, or how to speak to you. It now demands the stuff it wants, and will go as far as to throw stuff at you. The next step in the disgusting freeloaders life is that it can walk and climb. Great, now you have to put fragile stuff in places where even you can't reach it and constantly keep a close eye on it...in fear that it might jump its prison (AKA, crib) and fall down the stairs.
Pretty soon, you have this...thing that can talk, walk, and be annoying as it wants. Now you have to start making the crazy dwarf go to pre-school or kindegarden. This place is worse then a prison, your demonic 'child' learns all sorts of sorcery from all the other 'children'. Pretty soon, it says its first bad word. Oh no! Since it's older now, feel free to discipline it. Then it wants pony, or a car, or toys, or anything that is shiny. They're like humanoid crows, packing all thier toys into thier lair also known as a 'room'. Life continues until they reach the milestone age of 13, where they are a pitifull teenager. Gah...this new form of the once babbling mutant poses more problems...and once again, you have to care for it for another 5 years until finally you can say,
"GET OUT OF MEH HOUSE!".
I'll try to make this not as bad as a rant, but more like...a story I guess.
We all know how we came to existence, or at least I would hope. But, why, why, do we humans have to go through this phase known as 'childhood' and 'babies'? Why can't we pop out and be 18 years old? That may be a very...disturbing to some, but you could skip the whole process of annoying people!
Ok, so here. Imagine. You have a wife/husband, and you just recieved word that you/she is pregant! Yay...right? No, this is no yaying matter, in approximatly 9 months an undeveloped, immature, wet, and screaming life form will come out of you/your wife! If that isn't terrifying enough, you have to feed the thing, clean up its waste (since it luckily has no bladder or stomach control) and heck, even pat the monstrosity on its back to 'burp' it. It's also a creative way it must be fed, as it looks like a metroid sucking the life force from its mother. It's like a pet from hell, it wants to be near you when you don't want it, and it doesn't want you near it when you actually are crazy enough to approach the beast. You somehow tough out a few months or maybe even a year and the atrocious thing learns to mobilize itself. This brings a whole new set of problems, you have to block doors, stairs, and fool-proof the most fool-proof items in the house. Life is not good, and you can't do anything but just live with it. Eventually, the vile creature learns how to form words, or how to speak to you. It now demands the stuff it wants, and will go as far as to throw stuff at you. The next step in the disgusting freeloaders life is that it can walk and climb. Great, now you have to put fragile stuff in places where even you can't reach it and constantly keep a close eye on it...in fear that it might jump its prison (AKA, crib) and fall down the stairs.
Pretty soon, you have this...thing that can talk, walk, and be annoying as it wants. Now you have to start making the crazy dwarf go to pre-school or kindegarden. This place is worse then a prison, your demonic 'child' learns all sorts of sorcery from all the other 'children'. Pretty soon, it says its first bad word. Oh no! Since it's older now, feel free to discipline it. Then it wants pony, or a car, or toys, or anything that is shiny. They're like humanoid crows, packing all thier toys into thier lair also known as a 'room'. Life continues until they reach the milestone age of 13, where they are a pitifull teenager. Gah...this new form of the once babbling mutant poses more problems...and once again, you have to care for it for another 5 years until finally you can say,
"GET OUT OF MEH HOUSE!".
